by Sally Henson
I flip the homemade card open and read, “Congratulations, you’re grounded!” My cheeks lift for the first time since getting out of Lane’s truck Friday. Thank God for Tobi.
Haylee and Tobi giggle.
I continue reading, “For the time alone, shut up in your room, for the time when you have nothing to do. A book to escape, a song to feel, imagine our arms are hugging you for real.” My heart fills up. “That’s really sweet, Tobi.” I snicker at her clever words. “I’ve never been given a gift for being grounded before.” No one in the world would think of something like this except Tobi. I don’t give her enough credit for being such a good friend.
Haylee smiles. “That was good. You should write poetry more often.”
Tobi shrugs. “Eh, I don’t know about that. Open it.”
I tear off the paper and open the box. It’s Tobi’s old iPod.
“It’s not new,” she says, “but I loaded it up with a bunch of songs and books for you.”
“Oh, my gosh, Tobi! This is amazing.” I give her a hug.
Haylee’s eyebrows raise high on her forehead. “If I get grounded, will you give me an iPod full of music and books?” She presses her hands together, begging.
Tobi snorts, “Sure. But don’t get grounded on purpose.”
“Oh, I have another gift for you.” Tobi pulls her phone out of her bag and swipes the screen, handing it to me with a grin.
It’s a message from Lane: I’m not supposed to talk to Regan, but I wish I could tell her things are going to work out.
So far, things are not working out though. I want to curl up in a ball on this bleacher and hug Tobi’s phone to my heart for the rest of the week.
The bell rings, signaling the beginning of school. I read through the text one more time before handing Tobi her phone.
The girls both pull me up as Cameron hollers for us at the bottom of the steps. I make room for Tobi’s gift in my bag. Thanks to her, I have something to keep me busy while I hide out in my room for the rest of this week…month…until I turn eighteen.
18
Regan
Mr. Kellen stands at the door to his classroom, waiting for his students to enter before the bell rings seventh hour. I put my head down and try to pass without looking at him. It’s been almost a week since I was caught kissing Lane, and I’m still embarrassed. I can’t believe I kissed him in public that day … three times. And I can’t believe Mr. Kellen called my parents when he acted like it was no big deal after he interrupted us.
“Regan.” Mr. Kellen stops me. “See me after class,” he says with a hushed voice.
I nod, staring at the black-speckled floor tiles, and trod to my seat. What am I in trouble for now? My mind races, trying to figure out what I might have said or done or not done.
Stacey’s already waiting in her seat. She shoots me a nasty look. The rumors are finally dying down, but one look from her tells me I’m in for round 876,322.
No Lane, check.
Grounded, check.
In trouble with Mr. Kellen, check.
Tons of nasty rumors flying through the universe about me, check.
What more could she or Mr. Kellen do? My life is already in the toilet.
During class, we watch a movie on the chemical makeup of the body. The class clears out when the bell rings and I stay in my seat, acting like I’m getting my things together. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Stacey is still in her seat too. My stomach does a nose dive to the floor.
“Ladies.” Mr. Kellen waves for us to join him in the dissection lab off to the side of the room. Stacey shoots me another nasty look before following him, and I trail behind her.
Mr. Kellen stops at the far corner of the lab near the wall of windows and turns to face us. “Whatever is going on between the two of you needs to stop.”
Between the two of us? My eyes meet his.
He keeps looking back and forth between me and Stacey. I want to say I didn’t do anything, but kissing Lane is something.
Stacey defends herself, “Mr. Kellen—”
“No.” His hand slices through the air. “I don’t want any excuses. I know there’s a history, but that’s where it needs to be. In the past. You are the brightest students in your class. Don’t waste your time and efforts on such childish things.” He leans his back against the windowpanes, crossing his arms against his chest. It makes him look younger. “Teenagers have this idea that high school is such a big deal and life will eternally revolve around it. Let me tell you two something. After you graduate, you’re going to have the whole world at your fingertips. High school is going to seem like kindergarten. It’s a blip on the radar. A speed bump.”
The voices and noise from Mr. Kellen’s next class filter into the bright room where we’re standing. I glance behind me through the open door. At least he had the decency to do this in private.
“But, Mr. Kellen, she—” Stacey tries again.
Mr. Kellen slices his hand through the air. “Stacey, in case you don’t remember, I was present on the field trip. Look, if someone threatens violence on another student or the school, that’s what you should go to the principal about. Someone needing help with issues at home, tell the counselor. Someone’s cheating in class, tell me. But wasting your time and my time to get someone in trouble over a kiss? That’s childish.”
That dirty rat. Mr. Kellen wasn’t even going to do anything, but Stacey went to the principal herself. I shouldn’t be surprised. Haylee was right, Stacey would do anything to get me in trouble.
She drops her head. I almost laugh because she never gets put in her place. Everyone in this school is afraid of her and her mom. I guess Mr. Kellen hasn’t been here long enough to know the Fanigers’ power.
“I’m sorry.” Stacey’s voice squeaks out of her.
He straightens, moving his hands to his hips. “Shake hands.”
My eyes widen, and I turn to Stacey. She’s staring back at me with her mouth open and nose crinkled in disgust.
This isn’t fair, I haven’t done anything to Stacey. I raise my voice in protest, “But I have—”
“Ah! This is where it ends.” Though he’s young, Mr. Kellen pulls off an authoritative tone.
Stacey narrows her beady little brown eyes at me, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. I poke my hand her way. She looks at it with disgust, and then shakes my hand. Her palm is, uck, sweaty.
“This is it. You both agree. No more tattling. No more gossiping.” The bell rings, and Mr. Kellen claps his hands together. “Good! From now on, you will be partners in this class. For lab, projects, and everything else.”
Stacey and I both groan. There is no use in arguing with Mr. Kellen, because we both tried, and it got us nowhere. I didn’t think there was anything more Mr. Kellen could do to me, but this is worse than ten detentions.
“I’ll write you both an excuse for your next class,” he announces and walks between Stacey and me, through the dissection lab tables, and toward the adjacent classroom.
I trail behind them, staring at the shelves loaded with glass containers of preserved animals. My eyes go directly to the two-headed snake and come up with a perfect name for the creature…Stacey.
Mom’s at the dining table making progress on Stacey’s dress when I come home from school. I make a quick decision to break my avoidance code and talk to her.
“Mom, can I ask you something?”
She removes a couple pins she was holding between her lips. “Of course.”
I grasp the back of the chair in front of me and start, “Why haven’t you helped me and Lane with Dad? It feels like you’re against us too.”
Mom purses her lips. She doesn’t seem to like my question. “Regan, you know your dad sometimes overreacts to things. And he’s extra protective of you. If he’d heard from you and Lane before that sewage from work, you probably wouldn’t be grounded for so long. It doesn’t look good from a parent’s perspective, you know.”
I cut in to plead, “But
we didn’t do anything wrong.”
She puts her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes slightly. “You failed to tell me you two were caught kissing, Regan. It makes me wonder what else you didn’t tell me.”
“It was embarrassing.”
“You shouldn’t be doing anything you’ll be embarrassed to tell me about.”
What? Does she want a play-by-play of every word and touch? Without thinking, I roll my eyes.
It ticks Mom off. She holds her hand out to me as if she’s handing me a platter of shame. “That right there is one reason you’re in trouble. Plus, I told you, if you break my trust, everything will change, and you’d have to earn it back.”
Irritation continues to burn inside me. I throw my arms out wide, pointing out the obvious. “It was just a kiss, Mom.”
She folds her fingers together on top the table and puffs out an exasperated breath. “You’re going to have to earn my trust back.”
I shake my head and respond, “Yeah, well I trusted you too. Look where that got me.”
Judging by her expression she didn’t like what I had to say, but I storm off to my room before she can tell me what a disappointment I am.
Mom’s just as bad as Dad. “Earn her trust.” What a bunch of crap. If Dad hadn’t been such a jerk since summer, I wouldn’t have kept anything from them. I toss my bag on the floor and grab my pajamas. Nothing I do or don’t do is getting me any closer to Lane.
Instead of getting sucked into a downward spiral, I opt for a steamy bath and some music Tobi gave me to get lost in. Maybe I’ll dive into a book and forget about my sucky life.
19
Lane
The pick between Ross’ fingers glides across the strings. “This is the chorus.” He plays it through once and, naming the chords as he goes. “See? Easy.”
I nod and ready my fingers.
Ross taps his acoustic guitar. “One, two, three, four.” He plays the chorus again, humming the words to LANCO’s the Greatest Love Story.
I tap my foot with the beat, keeping time and place my fingers against the strings. G, C, D—or something like D, and the C isn’t quite a C. I stop strumming, watch, listen and repeat.
He’s doing his best to teach me this new song, but I can’t seem to focus. Normally it wouldn’t take me very long to pick up on a tune I know so well, but…
Ross stops, waving his pick in the air. “Okay, okay. Maybe we need to try the first verse.”
This song reminds me of Regan. The lyrics aren’t a perfect match to our story, but it feels like us. I’ve tried not to think about her since I left. Between working out, watching the band in action, and playing my guitar, I’ve been able to distract myself.
Sort of.
Not really.
“The verse is simple too.” Ross says. “G for two, C for two, and E for two. Like this.” He plays the verse through and picks up with the words.
I take a deep breath and strum the G, keeping time with a tap on the guitar, C tap-tap, E tap-tap, repeat. We get unsynced somehow.
Ross stops and looks at me expectantly.
I shrug.
He swipes the hair out of his eyes, tilting his head to the side. “What’s up with you? This song’s easy. You already know the lyrics.”
I shrug again. What am I going to say? My high school girlfriend’s dad kicked me out of his house and won’t let me see her? Even after I practically begged. Then he blows up my world by giving me an impossible way to “earn his trust” back. The countdown is minutes from zero.
I slump over my guitar, placing my fingers on the frets, running through the chorus chords.
“You’ve been throwing that nerf ball against your door again and acting like a moody teenage-girl all week.” He pauses, probably staring, waiting for me to say something.
My fingers continue playing the song.
“Oh, so now that you’re trying to ignore my question, you can play the song?”
I glance up at him with a smirk.
“Serious, man, did you break up with your girl? We could go out and have some fun after practice tonight.”
I shake my head and slouch back against the futon. “Nah.” I take the fret clamp off the neck of my guitar and study it.
Ross softly strums his thumb against the top three strings. “You didn’t break up or you don’t want to go out tonight?”
“Both.”
He slides his guitar off his lap, resting his elbows on his knees. “What’s up?”
I groan, because I don’t want to tell him all the hoops I’ve been jumping through for a girl. Especially when the guys are always pressuring me to go out after our practices. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I grab my guitar and stand. “I’ve got some homework to finish up before practice,” I explain, and head to my room.
Talking to Ross about this particular girl problem isn’t something I see as productive. If Regan was a senior, it wouldn’t as so awkward when people ask about my girlfriend. I’m the only guy I know that’s dating a high schooler.
After I put my guitar up, I grab my phone and dive onto my bed. As much as I’d like to put my favorite photo as my background, I don’t because Regan would be embarrassed. I scroll through the goofy pictures of my friends and me until I find my favorite. Regan and me kissing. Tobi snapped it without Regan knowing.
No matter how much I love this photo, it’s not enough. I’ve got to see her.
And I know what I have to do to make that happen.
20
Regan
Cam sets his tray down and takes the seat next to Haylee.
“Hey.” She squirts ketchup on her fries and asks me, “I guess you won’t be able to make it next Saturday night?”
Saturday night is Haylee and Lane’s combined birthday party. Tobi’s had the date planned since last year.
“I wish. I’m sorry I won’t be there for your birthday bash.” I frown. They’re going to be having all kinds of fun, and I’ll be stuck at home in my room.
Haylee hitches her shoulder, trying to hide her disappointment. “Yeah, I didn’t figure you’d be able to.”
Tobi points a chip at me. “Is Lane still coming to the party?”
My eyes narrow slightly. “As far as I know. Why, did he say something about not going?”
Tobi shakes her head.
She knows I haven’t talked to Lane. I shake it off. “I think you’re gonna love my present, though,” I tease and bump shoulders with Tobi and wiggle my eyebrows at Haylee, teasing her.
Weeks ago, Tobi and I decided to go in together for Haylee’s present. Tobi was going to get a shirt, necklace and earrings at Glamour Farms, but changed her mind to gift cards for books and music.
Tobi takes a bite of her sub sandwich and croons, “You’re gonna love what I got you, too.”
“Mine’s the best,” Cam crows.
“Wait.” Haylee cocks her head to the side, looking up at Cameron. “You know what they got me, and you haven’t let it slip yet?”
He grins and pats her on the head. “You’re so cute.”
Haylee growls, and flirtingly pushes him away.
Cam barely budges, though, and decides to poke her sides until she squirms.
I’m not sure how much more of their cuteness I can handle this week. I’ve got to change the subject. “Did your mom make you a cake yesterday?” I ask Haylee. Her actual birthday was yesterday.
She smiles, lifting her chin with pride. “Yeah, she did.” Her eyes dart from me to Cam. Cam came over and ate supper with us.”
Cam’s eyes widen with pure delight. “Tell me those weren’t the best cheeseburgers you ever ate.”
Tobi coughs.
Haylee wraps an arm around him for a side hug. “They were the best!”
“Cam. Cooking?” Tobi coughs some more.
“Hey.” Cam chuckles. “I was awesome! I grilled out. ‘Bout froze my kahunas off, but it was worth it.” His eyes flutter shut. “When I sank my teeth into that burger, I thought I’
d died and gone to heaven.” His dark blue-jean eyes pop open, sparkling with self-confidence. “Mmm-mm. Damn, I’m good.”
Haylee kisses his cheek, doting on him some more. “It was the best birthday ever.”
I look down at my food. “Come on you two. You’re making me sick.” Their cooing and lovebird gazes are causing me to miss Lane, and I can’t watch or listen to anymore or I may get the shakes from withdrawals.
Tobi let me use her phone to message Lane earlier, telling him it’s okay form him to call or contact me through her phone. He finally replied that he doesn’t want to mess things up more, and we should wait. I’m trying not to think about tomorrow being Friday and the first weekend I won’t see Lane, but I can’t seem not to.
“Guess what today is?” I change the subject to my upcoming science lab. I need a pep talk to deal with Stacey.
Cam raises his eyebrows. “Uh, Thursday.” And then he laughs at himself.
Tobi throws a chip at him, but it lands on his plate instead of hitting him in the face.
“Genius,” I tease. “Lab day.” I look down at the fruit cocktail on my tray and poke a piece of pear.
“Oh, yeah,” Tobi says. “You have a new lab partner.” She giggles.
Haylee changes the subject back to the cake her mom made for her.
A sincere “you’ve got this” or “I’m sorry you’re stuck with viper girl” would’ve been nice. I glance at Stacey two tables ahead of us. There’s nothing funny about being forced to work with the queen of gossip.
I walk through the door to chemistry not sure which lab table to sit at, so I just sit at my regular table with Alyssa. I let her know that Mr. Kellen is sticking me with Stacey. Her mouth drops open at the news.
