Yesterday's Scars

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Yesterday's Scars Page 10

by Carole Mortimer


  ‘Meaning you were so busy playing the he-man that you—’

  ‘Why, you little—’ he took a threatening step towards her.

  ‘Here we are,’ David Byne came in carrying a striped bath-robe. He smiled as he saw Hazel grimace. ‘Sorry, it’s the best I can do.’

  Rafe snatched it out of his hands and threw it about Hazel’s shoulders. ‘As long as it covers her up I don’t care what it looks like.’

  David shrugged. ‘Let’s get this X-ray over with and then perhaps you can get Miss Stanford home to bed.’

  ‘That sounds like a good idea,’ Rafe drawled.

  The doctor’s brown eyes flirted with her. ‘I thought so too.’

  ‘Can we get this over with, David?’ Rafe snapped. ‘It’s getting late.’

  The X-ray was quickly dealt with, the result coming through in less than ten minutes. Rafe had stood glowering over them the whole of that time, making it obvious that he didn’t intend going anywhere.

  David Byne checked the X-rays very carefully. ‘Mm,’ he nodded his head thoughtfully, ‘these appear to show no fracture.’

  ‘I knew they wouldn’t,’ Hazel said triumphantly.

  ‘You knew nothing of the sort,’ Rafe contradicted sternly. ‘Now, it’s home for you, young lady, and straight to bed.’

  His eyes had deepened in colour as he said the last and Hazel looked hurriedly away. She smiled shyly at the doctor. ‘Thank you for your help.’

  ‘That’s all right,’ he returned her smile, putting some tablets in a bottle for her before handing her two other tablets and a glass of water. ‘Take these now and tomorrow when you have a king-size headache take two of these other tablets. And may I tell you that you’ve brightened up what was turning out to be a very dull day. You’re only my second customer today.’

  ‘But that’s good, isn’t it?’ She swallowed the tablets as instructed.

  ‘Good, but boring. And, Rafe, isn’t it time you came in for your check-up?’

  Rafe ran a hand through his black hair. ‘I don’t have the time. You keep me here most of the day with those damned tests and things.’

  Hazel looked puzzled. ‘What check-up is this?’

  ‘We’re hopeful that eventually we may be able to rebuild Rafe’s hipbone. It’s just a case of choosing the right time,’ the doctor explained.

  ‘But that sounds very important. Surely you can find time for that, Rafe?’

  His face was a shuttered mask. ‘I told you, I don’t have the time.’

  ‘But, Rafe—’

  ‘Forget it, Hazel,’ he ordered abruptly. ‘When I want your interference I’ll ask for it.’

  The young doctor flushed at his tone. ‘I think you should make the appointment, Rafe. You know we’re just waiting for you to get to good physical health and then we can start.’

  Rafe turned impatiently away. ‘The whole thing could take months.’

  ‘Surely that’s better than the pain?’ Hazel interrupted.

  The doctor looked at him sharply. ‘You’re getting a lot of pain?’

  ‘Some,’ Rafe grudgingly admitted.

  ‘A lot,’ Hazel contradicted.

  David Byne frowned. ‘You know we told you to come back when the pain got worse. I think now might be the time for the operation. By the sound of the work you’ve been doing you’re fit enough to take it.’

  ‘So that I can become a complete cripple!’ Rafe turned on him angrily. ‘I don’t want that, I’d rather stay as I am.’

  ‘But your condition won’t remain stable, it can only get worse from now on. The only reason we didn’t carry out the operation when you were first admitted was because of your other injuries. You might not have survived an operation of that magnitude.’

  ‘And you think I could now?’ Rafe demanded bitterly.

  David Byne nodded. ‘If you wanted to.’

  Blue eyes narrowed to icy slits. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  David shrugged. ‘You didn’t seem to have much fight the last time.’

  ‘I lived, didn’t I!’

  ‘Not because you wanted to but because we simply wouldn’t let you die,’ the doctor replied, undaunted by the other man’s anger.

  Hazel couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her tough, strong Rafe had wanted to die. But why? He had everything to live for.

  Rafe scowled. ‘What makes you think I would be any different now?’

  ‘I don’t, I’m just hoping. Look, Rafe, the operation has more than an even chance of succeeding. The pain you have now is just the start of it, believe me. The operation could stop all that.’

  ‘And it could leave me a cripple for life!’ he burst out. ‘Let’s leave it for now, David, let me think about it.’

  ‘Don’t think about it too long. The longer we leave it now the less chance of success, and the less chance we have of doing the operation at all.’

  ‘I’ll think about it, David,’ Rafe repeated. ‘Right now I think I should get Hazel home.’

  ‘Fine. And just keep a close eye on her.’

  ‘I intend to. Can I borrow this for a minute?’ he indicated the wheelchair. ‘For some reason Hazel doesn’t like me to carry her.’

  ‘I’m not sure it’s a good idea either. It’s all a strain on your hip.’

  ‘That’s the trouble, so many things are,’ Rafe said dryly.

  ‘You know the answer to that.’

  ‘Just forget you’re a doctor for a while,’ Rafe snapped impatiently.

  David Byne grinned. ‘With someone like your ward around that’s quite easy to do!’

  ‘A lot of other men think so too,’ Rafe told him with a scowl.

  ‘Could we go now, Rafe?’ Hazel asked abruptly. ‘I have a terrible headache.’

  ‘Of course. I’ll bring the wheelchair back when I have her safely stowed in the back of the car.’

  Hazel glowered at him. ‘You make me sound like a piece of unwanted luggage!’

  ‘Don’t tempt me, Hazel. Don’t tempt me.’

  The silence between them was oppressive on the way back home and it was left to Janine to chatter to Rafe, Hazel being much too weary now to care one way or the other. But she was conscious of their conversation, and the intimacy that seemed to exist between them.

  Rafe took Janine home first, getting out of the car and walking to the door with her. Hazel couldn’t bring herself to look out of the window at them; the memory of Rafe kissing this woman’s palm was still too vivid in her mind for her to suffer the pain of seeing him kiss her again.

  ‘You took your time,’ she muttered when he returned.

  ‘Don’t be rude, Hazel,’ he refused to be drawn by her bad humour. ‘And wave to Janine like a good girl.’

  ‘I will not!’

  He gave a throaty chuckle as he put the car into gear. ‘What’s she ever done to you?’

  ‘Nothing,’ she replied sulkily. She shivered slightly. ‘Can we go now, I’m getting cold.’

  ‘We can if you’ll just wave to Janine. You may be angry with me, but that’s hardly reason enough to be rude to a friend of mine.’

  It was because Janine was a friend of his that Hazel resented her. If she had met her under any other circumstances she would probably have liked her. ‘Oh, all right,’ she agreed ungraciously. ‘Anything to get me home.’

  ‘Anything?’ He watched her in the driving mirror.

  ‘Go to hell!’ She smiled brightly at the watching Janine and waved enthusiastically.

  The car shot forward, throwing her back against the leather upholstery. ‘I’ve been there and back more times than I care to remember,’ Rafe said grimly. ‘And with less provocation.’

  Hazel instantly regretted her words, and sat forward to gently touch his shoulder. She could feel the tightening of his muscles beneath her touch. ‘I’m sorry, Rafe. I didn’t mean—’

  ‘Forget it,’ he snapped. ‘And for God’s sake sit back and stop touching me like that! I’m not made of stone.’

 
She removed her hand as if he had burnt her. ‘Sorry,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Mm—well, just remember in future that I’m not here for you to try out your feminine charms on. I didn’t stand up too well under pressure the last time,’ he added ruefully.

  ‘That was my fault. I—’

  ‘I know it was your fault, damn you!’ he swore angrily. ‘But last night should have proved to you, more than proved to you, that I can’t say no to you. So leave me alone. I don’t need you—I have my own life to lead.’

  ‘And does that life include Janine Clarke?’

  ‘And if it does?’ he queried hardly. ‘What does that have to do with you?’

  ‘Nothing, I suppose.’ Except that it would break her heart to see Rafe married to another woman. Oh, how she wished she had been pregnant three years ago. Then Rafe would have been hers, hers!

  ‘I’m glad you realise that.’

  She refused his offer to carry her into the house, her senses too heightened to the blatant masculinity of him in the close-fitting black trousers and shirt he wore for her to be held that closely in his arms without showing him just how much she wanted him.

  Sara came out into the wide hallway, frowning as she looked at Hazel. ‘Whatever have you been doing now?’ She rushed over to her. ‘You look terrible!’

  ‘Thanks, Sara,’ she grinned at her. ‘That’s just what I wanted to hear.’

  ‘Well, you do. How on earth did you get that bruise?’

  ‘She can explain later, Sara. Right now I have to get her up to bed. Perhaps you can get her a hot drink while I take her upstairs.’

  ‘Would you prefer some nice nourishing soup?’ Sara asked her temptingly.

  What she would really prefer would be to lie down and go to sleep, but she couldn’t hurt the housekeeper’s feelings by saying so. ‘That would be lovely, thank you.’ She began to ascend the stairs, but her legs suddenly buckled beneath her. ‘Oh, Rafe!’ she cried her helplessness.

  ‘You silly child!’ He swung her up into his arms. ‘Stop being so independent and lean on me for a while.’

  ‘But you said—’

  ‘I know what I said,’ he interrupted tersely. ‘But I’m talking as your guardian now.’ He kicked the door to her room open, placing her gently on the bed. ‘Now, do you need any help to undress or can you manage?’

  Her face fiery red, she sat up, trying to struggle with the fastening of her bikini top. ‘I can manage, thank you,’ she said stiffly.

  ‘You don’t look much like it to me. Here,’ he pushed her hands away, ‘let me do that.’

  ‘No!’ She moved away from him, panic in every nerve of her body. ‘You mustn’t, Rafe. You mustn’t!’ She just wasn’t up to fighting her attraction for him right now. She felt tearful and strangely weak.

  He sighed, kneeling on the bed to better reach the back fastening to her top. ‘You have to take this off and you can’t seem to do it yourself,’ he insisted.

  ‘I can wait for Sara,’ she said desperately. ‘She should be up in a minute.’

  ‘And she may not be,’ he returned impatiently. ‘I’ve seen you naked before, Hazel, so why so shy this time?’

  ‘Well, because I— What if someone should come in?’

  He shrugged. ‘What if they do? I’m only trying to help you.’

  Her shoulders lost their rigidity and the fight went out of her. ‘All right, go ahead.’

  ‘So gracious!’ he taunted, releasing the catch to her yellow bikini top. He slid the article of clothing off her shoulders and threw it on the chair. His breath caught in his throat and he shut his eyes against the perfection of her. ‘I think you’re right,’ he groaned. ‘I shouldn’t be doing this.’

  Hazel leant back, looking straight into his tortured blue eyes. ‘Why not? As you said, you’ve seen me naked before.’

  His hands shook as he turned away from her. ‘But not like this, not like this!’ he moaned.

  ‘I don’t understand.’ She looked dazed. ‘What do you mean?’ She tried to get up and collapsed back against the pillows. ‘I don’t know what the doctor gave me, but I don’t seem to have any strength.’

  ‘They were sedatives, and it looks as if they’re starting to take effect. Oh God, what the hell can I do now? I have to get you undressed.’

  But as soon as he touched her again she could feel her blood turn to molten fire, and she turned her body into his hands. ‘Oh, Rafe, Rafe, I want you!’

  He tried to push her away, but of their own volition his hands seemed to be straining her against him. Her hands moved up to caress his taut back through his shirt. ‘Stop it, Hazel! You have to stop this,’ he told her weakly.

  ‘Kiss me,’ her mouth was only inches away from his. ‘I want you to kiss me.’

  ‘I can’t. I can’t, I tell you!’

  She pouted. ‘But you wanted to last night.’

  He shook her. ‘Damn these drugs! It’s making you act out of character.’

  ‘In character, Rafe. It’s just making it possible for me to say things I wouldn’t have the courage to say normally. I want you, Rafe. I want you to make love to me like you did before I went away.’

  He gave a twisted smile. ‘You’re going to regret saying that in the morning.’

  Her eyes brightened. ‘Then you’ll stay with me?’ She put his hand on her breast. ‘You’ll stay with me tonight?’

  He wrenched his hand away and moved savagely off the bed. ‘No, I won’t stay with you!’ He threw the candlewick cover over her. ‘Stop tempting me, for God’s sake! Sara will be up here in a moment. What would I tell her if she found us together like this?’

  She gazed at him with dreamy eyes. ‘I don’t know, what would you tell her?’

  ‘It will never be put to the test, so I won’t even think about it. If I can just get out of here I’ll be fine.’ Rafe ran his hand through his already tousled hair. ‘Yes, that’s it, I’ll get out of here.’

  She put out a hand towards him. ‘Don’t leave me, Rafe. Please, don’t leave me!’

  His face darkened. ‘You have to stop this, Hazel. I’ve already said no, and I mean it.’

  ‘Mr Rafe!’ Sara stood in the open doorway, the laden tray in her hand, a shocked look on her face. She came further into the room. ‘You shouldn’t be talking to her like that—she isn’t well.’

  Blue eyes raked mercilessly over Hazel. ‘She’s well enough,’ he said abruptly. ‘See that she gets undressed and into bed. I’m going to my study.’ He looked briefly at Hazel, seeming to hesitate. ‘If you need me you just give me a call.’

  Sara was busy arranging the tray on the side-table. ‘Now why would I be needing you, Mr Rafe? It won’t be the first time I’ve put Miss Hazel to bed when she hasn’t been well.’

  ‘I didn’t necessarily mean you, Sara,’ he said deeply, his eyes never leaving Hazel’s flushed face.

  ‘Changed your mind, Rafe?’ she challenged.

  He met that challenge. ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Later?’

  ‘I—I—’ He took a deep breath. ‘No! No, not later. Never!’ He slammed the door behind him.

  Sara looked after him in surprise. ‘Now what’s eating him?’ she mused slowly.

  Hazel yawned. ‘Don’t worry about Rafe, you know how moody he can be.’ She sat up, and the cover fell away from her bare breasts. ‘Oops!’ she laughed self-consciously, yawning tiredly. ‘I can’t seem to keep awake.’

  Sara pulled the cover quickly back over her. ‘You surely didn’t let Mr Rafe see you like that?’ she showed her shock.

  The tablets were making Hazel feel slightly drunk as she tried to stay awake. ‘Of course he did, Sara. He was helping me undress.’

  ‘He— Oh, surely not?’ Sara gave a nervous laugh. ‘Mr Rafe wouldn’t do a thing like that. Now are you going to have your soup?’

  ‘Mm,’ Hazel gave a sleepy smile. ‘Then I really shall have to go to sleep.’

  Sara watched over her as she drank the soup, and then helped her into her nig
htgown before picking up the tray. ‘Mr Rafe wasn’t really helping you undress, was he?’ she asked uncertainly.

  Hazel snuggled down into the pillows. ‘If you say not, Sara,’ she murmured, already drifting off to sleep.

  ‘But was he?’ Sara persisted.

  ‘I suppose not.’

  She didn’t hear Sara leave the room, her mind was already drifting off into a hazy world where Rafe was holding her in his arms, his lips bringing her to vibrant pulsating life.

  When she woke up it was very dark and for a moment she thought she was alone; the pain in her head was excruciating. She saw a movement in the corner of the room and sat up to see what it was, then cried out as the pain shot anew through her head.

  A dark shadow loomed up beside the bed. ‘Rafe?’ she asked tentatively.

  The side-light was cruelly flicked on. ‘No, it’s not Rafe,’ Celia drawled. ‘Is he in the habit of visiting your bedroom in the dead of night?’

  Hazel pushed the hair off her face. ‘Of—of course not. I just thought—’

  ‘You thought I was my dear brother. I’m curious as to why you should think that.’

  Hazel wasn’t up to this verbal fencing. ‘Rafe said I had to have someone with me day and night for a couple of days. I thought he—’ she broke off lamely. ‘I just thought you were him.’

  Celia gave a taunting smile. ‘It would hardly be proper for Rafe to be in your bedroom this time of night.’

  ‘What time is it?’

  ‘Just after three. You’ve been out for hours.’ She poured out a glass of water from the jug on the bedside table, holding out two tablets with it. ‘I was told to give you two of these when you woke up.’

  Hazel swallowed the pain-killers gratefully and fell gently back among the pillows. ‘It’s nice of you to sit with me like this.’

  Celia shrugged, going back to her sitting position near the window. ‘I didn’t really have any choice in the matter, not if I didn’t want to incur Rafe’s anger.’

  ‘That’s never bothered you before,’ Hazel said wanly.

  ‘It doesn’t bother me now, except that we had quite a row about you yesterday, and I don’t want a repeat of it. He almost threatened to throw me out,’ Celia added angrily.

  Hazel’s eyes widened. ‘Not because of me, surely?’

 

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