And still, that loneliness on which Janie had shined a spotlight hit her at the oddest moments. As she was taking Faye’s trash to the curb. As she made herself a cup of coffee. When she sat in her new little office at the inn and ate lunch alone on Fridays when Janie was gone to chemo.
When she experienced these little bouts of loneliness, she shook herself for being so selfish. She had everything going for her. What was a tinge of loneliness or the impending interview with Zora Marshall when Janie was facing life or death and trying to raise two children alone?
She lifted the latest sketches for the new line and held them out in front of her. Satisfaction curled its way through her. No longer would young brides have to resort to the overly frothy confections she’d spotted in the wedding photos in the Herald the day before. Someone needed to tell the bridal shops in the area that those designs had gone out with ‘80s big hair and parachute pants.
Her cell phone rang and she answered without taking her eyes from the sketches. “Farrin Taylor.”
“Hello, Farrin.”
She dropped the sketchpad. Mark. She hadn’t heard from him in so long, hadn’t even thought about him. Why was he calling?
“Hello. How have you been?” she asked.
“Fine. And you?”
“The same.”
“Well, not entirely the same, I hear.”
“Oh?”
“I ran into Katrina Wellington at a party at Ivan’s last night. She had some interesting things to say.”
Farrin clenched her fist. “I seriously doubt that.”
“Not a fan?”
“You could say that.”
“That will make it difficult to work with her.”
Farrin uttered a noncommittal sound.
“She wanted to know about us, and I told her there wasn’t an us. She seemed surprised.”
Farrin sank back against the chair and closed her eyes. “She’s slipping.”
“Is there someone down there in . . . Tennessee?” He pronounced the last word as if it were dirty somehow. She’d never heard this side of him, and she actually breathed a sigh of relief that she’d gotten no more involved with him than she had. He wasn’t the person to whom she could finally confess all her feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment about her past.
The image of Drew formed in her mind. He already knew some of that past. Was he the person she could spill those feelings to, finally letting them gain exposure to air and thus allow them to dissipate forever?
“Mark, this is where I grew up. I avoided it for a long time, but I still have friends here.”
“But you bought property. That speaks of a deeper commitment.”
“It was an investment, to protect a historic building.”
“When are you coming home? I thought we could try again.”
She almost said she was home, and that thought caused her to pause and wonder where that thought had materialized. She was here for a visit, nothing more.
“I don’t have definite plans yet.” She planned to return to New York right after Christmas, but she didn’t feel like sharing that with Mark. That told her all she needed to know. “Mark, I’m sorry if I led you to believe there was more between us than there was. As you know, I’m incredibly busy—”
“You don’t have to say it.”
“You really are a good man. I truly mean that. It’s just that . . . ” There was no spark, no gut jittery feeling like what she felt around Drew. “I don’t think I’m the right woman. You need someone who has more time.”
When she ended the call, Farrin stared out the window. Part of her felt like a heel, but she couldn’t pretend she cared more for Mark simply because he obviously wanted a more serious relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
“That what’s been keeping you so distant?”
Farrin yelped at the sound of Drew’s voice from the doorway. She straightened and tried to pretend he hadn’t scared her half to death. “For someone who says he likes me, you sure have a funny way of showing it.”
“Then how about letting me take you to dinner?”
She crossed her arms and glared at him. “I’m supposed to let an eavesdropper take me to dinner? What do you take me for?”
“A beautiful woman who has been working all day and could use a nice dinner with a good-looking guy.”
“Think mighty highly of yourself, don’t you?”
“Deny it.”
She couldn’t. She was hungry, and he was most definitely good looking.
“If I agree, will you go away and let me get some work done?”
He smiled so wide he was in danger of straining cheek muscles. “I’ll pick you up at five.”
She’d swear under oath that he swaggered as he turned and headed toward the front door. Attempts to concentrate on her work proved fruitless after Drew’s departure, so she headed to the kitchen for a drink of water to quench her throat.
The water helped a little, but only a little. What had she agreed to? And could she find a way to get out of it?
Janie walked into the room and came to stand by her at the sink. “Finally wore you down, huh?”
“We all have to eat.”
“Yes, but we don’t have to go out with hunky guys to do it.”
“I thought you said you weren’t interested in Drew.”
“Just because I don’t want to date him doesn’t mean I’m blind. Drew Murphy grew up into a mighty fine looking man.”
Yes, indeed.
****
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Farrin took extra care with her hair and makeup in preparation for her dinner with Drew. She didn’t dare call it a date or she’d really freak out. Good grief, she hadn’t been this nervous about a date . . . uh, dinner, since her first one in college.
There was a light knock on the door, then Faye stuck her head inside. “Drew’s here, dear.”
What, already? She glanced at the clock. Had she taken half an hour on her hair alone? “I’ll be out in a minute.”
Instead of closing the door and leaving, however, Faye slipped into the room. “You look lovely. Stop worrying.”
“I’m not worrying.”
Faye raised her eyebrows. “You seem to forget that I’ve known you since you were nine years old.”
Farrin exhaled. “What is wrong with me? I feel like I’m regressing, like I’m a silly, awkward, unpopular teenager again.”
Faye stepped forward and wrapped her hands around Farrin’s. “We never really leave who we were totally behind, but you’re none of those things now. You’re a beautiful, intelligent, successful woman. And Drew Murphy is a handsome, intelligent, successful man. So, to my way of thinking, the two of you should get along just fine.” Faye squeezed Farrin’s hands in reassurance. “For tonight, try to forget that you ever liked him before or that he knew you way back when. Try to pretend that you’re just meeting and getting to know each other.”
“I don’t know if that’s possible.”
“Maybe not, but it’s worth a try.”
Farrin leaned over and placed a kiss on Faye’s wrinkled cheek. “I love you.”
Faye patted Farrin’s cheek in a gesture of affection. “I love you, too, dear. Now go out there and have a good time.”
When Faye left the room, Farrin took a look at herself in the full-length mirror. She hoped the loose black pants and turquoise sweater fit wherever they were going. It was a testament to how frazzled he made her that she hadn’t even asked. She’d wanted him to leave the inn and give her time to get her flustered self back together.
She took a deep breath in through her nose and let it out slowly through her mouth. As ready as she was ever going to be, she headed for the living room. He was wearing blue again. Dear Lord, she was a goner.
With Faye nowhere to be seen, Farrin faced Drew alone. “You look nice,” she said, wondering how she ever negotiated deals when the mere look at a man stopped all her brain function.
“I’d tell you t
he same, but it’d be an understatement.”
Heat flashed across her face, and she mumbled a “thanks” as she grabbed her coat. Drew stepped behind her to help, and the heat in her cheeks radiated outward.
Thank goodness the wind blew with an early winter chill. It helped cool her as they walked to Drew’s vehicle. Once they were both inside and he’d started the engine, she asked, “So, where are we going? I didn’t know how to dress.”
“I thought we’d go out to my house.”
His house? Where did he think this date . . . damn it, dinner was going?
“I thought with the unknown tattle about town, you might like to keep some things private.”
She looked over at him, at his face lit by the passing streetlights. “That was a nice gesture. Thank you.”
“No problem. And so you won’t be subjected to my cooking, I had my mom get takeout from Thelma’s.” He looked over at her. “Might even be some lemon meringue pie in it.”
She smiled, wide and unencumbered. “You, Mr. Murphy, are off to a very good start.”
He smiled back. “That’s my plan.”
Inexplicably, her nervousness lessened as they got closer to Drew’s house. And by the time they reached the front door, it had evaporated. When they crossed the threshold, she gasped. “Oh, it’s beautiful.”
Farrin walked to the center of the room and spun in a slow circle, looking up at the exposed beams then down the wall to a large river rock fireplace at one end.
“It’s home.”
“Let’s see. You’re an attorney, you’re a phenomenal gardener, you have a lovely home overlooking the river. Tell me again why some woman hasn’t snatched you up.”
“You forgot the really good looking part.”
“I don’t want your head to swell too much.”
He laughed as he started pulling delicious smelling food from the large paper bag. She moved to help him.
“Mind buffet style?” he asked as he handed her a plate and indicated the containers of pork barbecue, corn, baked beans and steaming cornbread muffins.
“Not at all.”
As they ate, they talked about his sister’s family, Justine’s habit of changing hair colors with the seasons, his parents’ plans to visit Scotland, and the latest on her new line of dresses.
She finished off her second piece of pie with an appreciative “umm”. When she made eye contact with Drew, she wondered if it was a good idea. The nervousness came back like a blast from a furnace. His teasing had fallen away, and what remained was a man who looked like he had more than dinner on his mind.
“So, when do you think you’ll get started on the gardens at the inn again?” she asked.
He lowered his eyes and took a drink before answering. “Probably late February, early March, depending on the weather.”
“Sounds good.”
“Farrin?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t bite.”
She caught his gaze, noticed how it had a darker, more sultry look to it than when he’d been laughing over dinner. “I’m not entirely sure of that.”
“Not unless I’m asked to anyway.”
He rose and took their dirty dishes to the sink, letting her sit there imagining him nibbling on her neck and other places best left unthought.
“So, have you thought about how you’re going to structure the interview?” Drew asked.
There, that’s what she needed, the equivalent of a cold glass of water splashed on her sexually charged mind.
“Some. It makes me nauseated every time I do.”
He walked around the kitchen island, took her hand and led her into the living area, guided her to an overstuffed leather couch. When she sat, he sank down beside her.
“Practice on me.”
She raised her eyebrows.
“I mean the interview, though we’ll keep other options open for later.”
Farrin swallowed hard, and Drew smiled when he saw her reaction.
“I don’t know, maybe winging it would be the best approach.” One in which she didn’t have to go over every detail of her past with Drew.
“Have you ever gone into a challenge without planning for it?”
She sighed. “No.”
“I didn’t think so.” He rose from the couch and walked toward the front door. “Here, I’ll turn out the lights. Sometimes it’s easier to talk in the dark.” He flipped the switch, then walked back to the chair opposite the couch in the faint glow of the quarter moon. “Now, tell me about your early school years. What did you enjoy about them?”
“Are you a shrink on the side?”
“Think about it. What do I do for a living? I dig to find the truth and get people to talk about it. Avoiding this isn’t going to make it go away or make it any easier when Zora Marshall shows up. I’ve practiced testimonies with dozens of clients. Trust me, it works.”
“Fine,” she said on a long exhale that felt a little like surrendering to an opposing army. “I liked art class and history, was terrible at gym. I once tripped while jumping rope and broke my wrist.”
“I remember that. You had a cast forever.”
“Yes, evidently it takes me a long time to heal.”
“What did you like to do out of school?”
“Read. Hike in the woods. Draw. Daydream.”
“Daydream about what?”
Farrin thought back to the endless progression of daydreams, years worth crammed into the recesses of her mind. “Mainly the world outside Oak Valley.”
“Why? Did you not like it here?”
“It was a beautiful place and had some interesting characteristics like all the old buildings downtown, but the people . . . well, there was no hiding anything. Everyone knew everything about everyone.”
“And you had something to hide?”
Drew’s quick questions proved his expertise in the courtroom. She hoped to never have to face him in that venue.
“It’s embarrassing, being poor when you’re a kid.”
“What about it embarrassed you?”
“It just did, okay?”
“Farrin, just because you know Zora Marshall, don’t think the interview is going to be a walk in the park. She’s a trained interviewer and she’s going to want to get to the core of you, to reveal what no one else ever has.”
“I must say I’ve never been grilled like this when I’ve gone out to dinner with anyone else.”
“I’m only trying to help.”
She paused and let his words sink in. “I know.” She shifted, slipping off her shoes and bringing her legs up beside her on the couch. “It’s embarrassing when you live in a trailer in the middle of the boonies, when you don’t have enough money to have a phone, when you have to make one box of macaroni and cheese last two people for three days, when you can’t afford a single item of fashionable clothing. I know that last part sounds really shallow, but kids can be very cruel. When you’re eleven or twelve years old, not having a pair of brand name shoes or the latest style of jeans is very traumatic because the kids who do have them make fun of you so everyone can hear. You want to curl up and disappear.”
Now that she was letting the words come out, they seemed to be gaining momentum. If she wasn’t careful, everything would come spilling out and she’d never be able to face Drew again. She’d have to leave in the darkness and avoid him from now on.
“Did that change as you got older?”
“The teasing? It got meaner.”
“How so?”
“The stakes are higher when you’re a teenager. All of your emotions are in turmoil anyway, so when someone takes aim at you with harsh words, it’s awful.”
“Was there a particular person who hurt you?”
Farrin stared hard at Drew in the dim light. “You know there was.”
“Don’t think of me as Drew. Right now, I’m Zora Marshall and there’s a TV camera rolling.”
She swallowed and looked down at the floor. “All high schools have
cliques that make it their business to torment those they deem outsiders.”
“What did these cliques do?”
“They basically make sure you don’t have a social life.”
“They have that kind of power?” Drew asked, keeping up the barrage of questions.
“Yes.”
“Did you date?”
“No, that’s one of the casualties of the clique attack.”
“Was there someone you would have liked to date?”
“All girls have crushes that come and go.”
“Any stronger than the others?”
Farrin looked up at him again, then away toward the darkened fireplace. “Can we light the fire? I think it’s getting colder outside.”
He didn’t press her like she expected. Instead, he rose and moved to the fireplace, lit the fire, then returned to his seat without a word. “Better?”
“Yes, thank you.”
Drew continued to stare at her as she focused on the fire. Maybe if she didn’t look at him, pretended she was alone in the room, she could do this.
“There was one boy I liked more than the others, but that was a long time ago. All girls have infatuations that seem silly in later years.”
Please don’t let him delve further.
“So, you’ve recently come back to your hometown. What’s changed? Or has it?”
“I avoided coming back here for a long time because I didn’t think I had any reason. No family, no ties other than one friend. Actually my best friend’s mother, who was like a second mother to me. It’s still small, everyone still knows everyone else’s business, but it’s not as bad as I remember. There are good people here, many of whom are now working at the inn I bought.”
When Drew launched into a series of questions about the inn and its occupying businesses, Farrin relaxed. She enjoyed talking about the improvements, the excitement of the artists involved in the gift shop, the homemakers who’d crafted quilts and who were the first employees of her new dress business. She was surprised by how much passion that now pumped inside her for the new line.
“You lost your mother a few years ago. What do you think she would say about your coming back to Oak Valley and everything you’ve done since you’ve been back?”
Dress Me in Wildflowers Page 18
