Farrin fought tears. Had her work here ever touched people like that? She was proud of it, the business gave several people jobs, made brides happy. But had it ever brought hope?
She looked at Janie, at her tired face watching the buzz of the Big Apple. “What about you?”
Janie licked her dry lips but continued to stare out the window, as if she was staring at her future. “Yes, a little of that hope has even rubbed off on me.”
The front door burst open and in flowed a sea of kids and shopping bags. They were singing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” in that off-key way of children, but Farrin thought she’d never heard such a happy sound.
“Did you buy out Manhattan?” she said as she walked forward to meet them.
“Oh, no,” Danielle said. “There’s tons more stuff out there.”
They all laughed, and Farrin hoped that the news they’d get tomorrow would ensure many more Christmases full of laughter.
****
The next morning, they slept in after seeing Mamma Mia! on Broadway the night before. Even the kids had been transfixed by the production, it being a few steps beyond the plays they performed at school.
After breakfast, Tammie gathered up the kids for a day of sightseeing followed by skating at Rockefeller Center. When they were finally ushered out the door, Farrin turned toward Janie. “Ready?”
“As I’m ever going to be.”
In truth, Janie looked like she might throw up at any moment, and Farrin wasn’t sure if that was because of the illness or her nerves.
Neither of them spoke as the driver maneuvered through traffic toward Sloan-Kettering. But once inside, Farrin led the way and told Janie how she and Matthew Canton had met at a benefit for the restoration of Ellis Island.
“He’s a huge history buff. We should introduce him to Dara.”
The closer they got to Dr. Canton’s office, the more of that hope Janie had hinted at the day before seemed to ebb away. Farrin stopped in the middle of the corridor and turned toward Janie. On impulse, she pulled her close and gave her a hug.
“I’ll be right here, and Matthew is an excellent doctor.”
Matthew was also an attractive single man, and Farrin noticed how his eyes lingered on Janie when she introduced them and how long he held Janie’s hand after the handshake. My, wasn’t that interesting.
“It’s nice to meet you,” he said to Janie. “Farrin, nice to see you again.”
After a few moments of chitchat, Matthew turned all business. “If you’ll follow me, Janie, we’ll get started.”
Janie looked back at Farrin, and for a moment she looked as innocent and scared as Dara might in a similar situation. Farrin reached out and squeezed her hand, then watched as she disappeared behind the door that led to answers.
Farrin retreated into work to pass the time and help calm her nerves. She called Justine and heard the beehive of activity in the background. With the New York Fashion Week and the Oscars barely two months away, the phones were ringing until they smoked and the sewing room was a sea of fabrics and noise.
By the time she talked to everyone she needed to at her office, an hour had passed. She popped her head into the waiting room but saw no sign of Janie.
“It’ll still be a while,” the woman at the front desk said.
“Thanks.”
Farrin might as well have taped the phone to her ear during the time it took Janie to complete all the tests. Her earlobe was burning from the heat of the phone when she looked up to see Janie coming out of Matthew’s office.
Farrin jumped up. “How’d it go?”
“I’ve been poked, prodded, scanned, you name it. Now we wait.”
“For how long?”
“I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon to get the results.”
“You’d think they’d come up with something a little faster.”
“It’s okay. The tough part’s done. Now I can go see a bit of New York with my kids.”
Farrin called Tammie and found out she and the children were at Rockefeller Center.
“Amie is trying to teach Dara some of the moves from her ice skating class, and evidently Dara’s taking to the ice pretty well,” Farrin told Janie.
“I remember watching the winter Olympics when I was young, thinking how great it would be to be one of those figure skaters gliding around the ice to all that beautiful music,” Janie said as she stared out the window at the passing city.
“Well, I’m no Michelle Kwan, but I bet we won’t be the worst people out on the ice either.”
Janie shook her head. “I don’t think I could even stand up on a pair of skates.”
“Won’t know until you try.”
Janie still didn’t look convinced, but Farrin had no intention of letting Janie have a moment to focus on what her tests might reveal. Best to keep her mind pointed in other directions.
After they reached Rockefeller Center, it didn’t take them long to find Tammie and the kids. All they had to do was follow the joyous, uninhibited laughter. Dara was indeed doing well considering she’d never had much opportunity to ice skate.
“She looks like an angel out there.” Janie made the observation with a sense of wonder, like she was seeing her daughter for the first time.
“Jason doesn’t seem to be doing so badly either.” At that moment, Jason’s legs slid in different directions and he fell, after which he slammed his hand against the ice in frustration. “Oops, spoke too soon.”
They made their way down to the side of the rink, and when Dara and Jason spotted them, they headed straight for them, Dara much more gracefully than her twin.
“Mom, Mom, guess what!”
Janie smiled wide and ran her gloved hand over her daughter’s silken hair. “What?”
“Tammie took us to a museum that had an exhibit of just maps! There were really old ones, from all over the world. One of the Great Wall of China, some of the exploration maps of Lewis and Clark, room after room of them. I could have stayed forever.”
“I swear, you’re going to be working for Rand McNally one of these days.” Janie turned toward her son. “And what did you get to do that was fascinating?”
Tammie skated up in time to hear the question. She handed Jason the digital camera.
He scrolled through the pictures until he found a particular shot and then handed it to his mother. “I got to tour a fire station and talk to the firefighters about some of the biggest fires they’ve been to. They even let me sit in the fire engine.”
“You look right at home in that big coat and hat,” Janie said then handed the camera to Farrin.
Even though the fireman’s coat and hat were huge on his boy’s body, his smile was even bigger. She’d never seen a boy look happier.
“Are you going to skate, Mom?” Dara asked.
“Of course she is,” Farrin said before Janie could decline.
“I can’t skate.”
“Well, I’m not exactly Dorothy Hamill out here,” Tammie said. “If I can make a fool of myself, so can you.”
Farrin laughed, and even Janie smiled. Tammie’s matter-of-fact statements had that effect on people.
Once they were decked out in skates, Tammie took Janie’s right arm and Farrin took her left. So linked, they scooted around the edge of the rink while youngsters who came up no further than their kneecaps sped by in a blaze of colorful scarves and knitted caps.
“They do that because they don’t have as far to fall,” Tammie said with a snarl that made Janie and Farrin laugh.
They laughed and squealed and snorted their way around the ice perhaps a grand total of three or four times. But Farrin couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed so hard her sides ached.
“I think we’re going to create a new Olympic sport, triples skating,” she said.
“Yeah, I can hear our musical selection now. Three Blind Mice,” Janie said.
Farrin and Tammie looked at her, then they all three started howling in laughter and had to gr
ab the wall to prevent going down in a heap on the ice.
When they returned to Farrin’s place, they thawed by sitting in front of her fireplace with large mugs of hot chocolate. The kids were so exhausted that they collapsed in the living room floor and were soon asleep.
Farrin noticed Janie watching her children with an expression on her face that softened the fatigue and worry that had been building there in the past days.
“I want to thank you both,” Janie said. “You’ve been great to me and the kids. If I have one regret, it’s that the three of us weren’t friends all along. This afternoon . . . well, it was wonderful. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun or laughed that much.”
“We’re a trio that’s pretty easy to laugh at,” Tammie said.
“True,” Janie said with a smile and a nod. “I . . . I just want you to know that no matter what happens tomorrow, I appreciate everything. You’ve been better for me than any medicine could ever be.”
Farrin had to lighten the mood before she started crying and woke up the kids. “Well, now that we’ve all decided we like each other, we’ll have to have girls’ weekends. We’ll leave all the kids with Kurt, and just take off.”
Tammie made a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a snort. “I’m sure Kurt’s going to be all over that idea.”
“Maybe Drew could help,” Janie said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
“Two can play this game. I think the good Dr. Canton was interested in a little more than tests today.”
Janie’s pale cheeks colored.
“See!” Farrin pointed at her in triumph. “You liked him, too.”
“Of course, I did. He was a nice guy.”
“Hot?” Tammie asked.
Farrin fanned herself in response. “Hunky, nice and a doctor.”
Janie’s cheeks colored further.
“Methinks we’ve made her blush,” Tammie said.
“Maybe it was safer to go through my teenage years without you two around,” Janie said and whopped them both with a throw pillow. “Certainly less embarrassing.”
They talked until late into the night about everything from fashion to men to how they all had loathed Mr. Parrish, their high school typing teaching.
Long after the kids had risen from the floor to find their beds, the women’s conversation wound down.
“This has been great, but I’ve got to get some sleep,” Janie said.
“Yeah, can’t be falling in Dr. Hubba Hubba’s lap tomorrow,” Tammie said, setting them all to laughing again.
Once they quieted, Janie faced them then gathered them both in a tight hug. “Thank you,” she said, then hurried away toward her guestroom.
Tammie sighed as she watched her disappear up the stairs. “I sure hope she gets good news tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Farrin said, helpless in the face of something she couldn’t accomplish by hard work or willing it so.
****
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
By the time they reached Dr. Canton’s office the next afternoon, Farrin could barely feel her hand because Janie had squeezed it so hard during the ride from her house to Sloan-Kettering. As they walked inside, Janie’s face took on the pallor of someone being led to execution.
“Breathe,” Farrin said.
As if she’d forgotten it as a necessary part of living, Janie inhaled deeply, then let it out in a long, shaky breath. “I feel like I’m going to throw up.”
“That will only make you feel worse, so concentrate on breathing. Think about something nice, like how the wildflowers are going to look in the inn garden come spring. I can see their bright colors already, can’t you?”
Janie nodded, but she didn’t look the least bit relaxed by the image.
When they reached the office and the nurse came to escort Janie back, Farrin asked, “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, I’ll be fine. Thanks.”
When Janie disappeared behind that door, it was Farrin’s turn to get nervous. Her stomach rolled, and she couldn’t stand still. To avoid thinking about it, she walked into the hall and called Justine.
“Zora Marshall called and she wants to meet you next week, down in Oak Valley,” Justine said.
Exactly what she needed, something else to make her want to bury her head under her covers and hide from the world. “Okay, set up the time and let me know the details.”
“And I believe Katrina Wellington has gotten wind something is going on and is planning on doing a hurry-up piece, evidently with this mysterious informant as background.”
When it rains, it pours.
“Tell Zora’s people that when you talk to them. Any other wonderful news you’d like to share with me?”
“The First Lady called and wants you to be at the White House the day of the wedding for any final alterations that might need to be made.”
Normally, such a request would have been routine and Farrin wouldn’t have thought a thing about it, but today the thought of dealing with Mrs. Hutton made pain explode inside her skull. “Next week seems to be filling up rather quickly.”
“Good thing you’ll be back in the office.”
That thought increased the ache. What she wouldn’t give for a couple of carefree weeks on some isolated Caribbean beach with nothing but sun, sand, surf and quite possibly Drew. The thought of making love in some secluded cove made a flush race up her neck and suffuse her face.
“How’s your friend?” Justine asked.
“She’s in with the oncologist now to get the results of her tests.”
“I hope she gets good news.”
“Me, too,” she said, then ended the call.
When the door opened, Farrin turned, expecting to see Janie. But the petite blonde wasn’t the one crossing the hallway. It was Matthew Canton, and Farrin only had to take one look at his face to know. “No.” The word came out on a strangled sob.
Matthew gripped her shoulders to steady her. “I’m sorry.”
Farrin shook her head. “No, that can’t be right. She’s going to be fine. She’s got two little kids. How can someone who went skating last night be . . . ?” She couldn’t say the word. “Where is she?”
“She wanted to be alone for a few minutes. She wanted me to tell you because she didn’t think she could.”
Farrin looked up at Matthew’s face and saw genuine regret there. She wondered if he wore the same look for all the patients he had to give bad news or if he had felt an initial interest in Janie as a woman? “There’s nothing you can do?”
“I’m afraid not. The cancer is much too advanced and has spread.”
Tears pooled in Farrin’s eyes. “How long?”
“Just a few weeks, six at the most.”
“I don’t understand. How can that be?”
“She’s been strong for her children, holding herself together by a string. She’ll need help, lots of it, in the coming weeks because she’s likely to start deteriorating very quickly.”
Farrin stalked down the hall a few feet, turned and slapped the wall over and over, punishing it because she couldn’t punish the vile disease wracking Janie’s body. “This is so unfair!”
“I know.”
The office door opened, and Farrin spun away to dry her tears. She listened to the quiet exchange between Janie and Matthew, and turned in time to see Matthew lean down and give Janie a lingering hug. She doubted he did that for all his patients. Why couldn’t these two have met sooner, when Janie still had years ahead of her and the kids could have had a positive male role model in their lives?
Farrin bit down on the urge to scream and curse fate.
After Matthew disappeared into his office, it took several moments for Janie to turn toward her. At first, neither of them spoke. Finally, Farrin forced words past the lump in her throat.
“I’m so sorry. I was so sure you’d get good news.”
“It’s not your fault. I appreciate what you’ve done.”
Farrin wanted
to be strong for Janie, but she lost the battle. First one tear, then another rolled down her cheeks. She wiped them away, but identical drops took their place. “I’m sorry.”
Janie walked forward, and the next moment they were holding each other in the hallway, not caring who saw them and their tears.
They cried until they couldn’t cry anymore, then retreated to the ladies room to wash their faces and try to lessen the redness and puffy lids.
“We’re quite the sight, aren’t we?” Janie said as she stared into the mirror.
“Now I remember why I don’t like to cry.”
“I can’t let the kids see me like this. I want them to enjoy this trip, to enjoy Christmas before I have to tell them.”
“We can go wherever you want to, do whatever.”
“Don’t you have to work?”
“That’s why I have employees, good ones.”
Janie kept staring into the mirror. “I’ve always wanted to go to the top of the Empire State Building.”
“Then that’s where we’re going.”
The observation deck was icy cold but full of people nonetheless. And Janie didn’t seem to mind the brisk wind as she walked to the edge and gazed out at the rooftops of Manhattan.
“It’s amazing how they can build something this tall. It makes you feel like you’re in the clouds,” Janie said.
“Sometimes you are up here.”
“It’s definitely something you don’t see in Oak Valley.”
“No, but the view from Cane Ridge is breathtaking in a different way.”
Janie nodded. “Every place has its amazing spots, I guess.”
They stared out at the city for a long time, and Farrin let Janie be alone with her thoughts. When they returned to the car, inspiration struck.
“Raoul, take us to Fifth, to Tiffany’s.”
“Tiffany’s?”
“Yes, I need to get some Christmas gifts.”
If Janie thought Farrin doing her Christmas shopping on the afternoon when she’d gotten the news she only had weeks to live was callous, she didn’t say so. When they walked inside the jewelry Mecca, Janie’s eyes widened like a child’s walking into the old FAO Schwartz store.
Dress Me in Wildflowers Page 21
