by Stacy Gail
No shit, Ivy desperately wanted to say, but instead took grim comfort in drowning the room in silence.
“I’ve always overlooked my sister’s treatment of you, because it didn’t seem to bother you,” Ji went on behind her. “I even allowed myself to believe, selfishly, that you didn’t notice it. That lie I told myself made it possible for me to dodge the problem. But my avoidance of an unpleasant subject has led us to where we are now, so this turmoil is my responsibility, not Yun Hee’s. I ask you not to be angry with her, but rather be angry with me, for not protecting you from her barbed words when you needed me to.”
She had to be kidding. “I was a big girl when you took me in, Ji, and I’m definitely all grown up now. I never needed you to protect me from Yun Hee’s stupid little slings and arrows.”
Yun Hee made a choking sound. “Ji—”
“Quiet, Yun Hee.” Ji’s voice whipped out sharply, and the room fell silent. “Ivy, to protect someone is to show love, though we never talk about such things. It’s just something a person knows and feels. You protect what you love. Yet I never protected you. Not from this. So the message I sent you all these years was that I did not love you.”
Ivy’s throat tightened so hard it was almost impossible to swallow. “So what? Like Yun Hee said, I’m not family. She is. I never asked for love, so it’s no big deal.”
“You never asked for anything. Not once. I see now that part of that was because you never expected anything. Yes, we took you in, but that was no hardship—we had a spare room, and what was one more at mealtime? When we took you in, I told you I expected you to learn our house rules and follow them accordingly. I said the same thing your first day here at Clawsome. You did so, perfectly and without complaint, so that it was easy to overlook anything else you might have needed. And when you began winning awards and fame for Clawsome, I didn’t question why you did it. It never occurred to me you were doing it because you felt you owed me. I just…never looked too closely at anything.”
Ivy’s hand tightened on the door handle. “That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’ve been made out to be an ingrate, when nothing could be further from the truth. Everything I’ve tried to give back to you has been ignored or undercut, so screw it. I don’t need this.”
“But I need you,” came the surprising reply. “I didn’t take you in because I wished to have you slave away for my business, Ivy. I was made to be a slave for my aunt. I hated every second of it, so I made sure I never acted in such a foul manner with my girls. But I see now that in a way, I have acted very much as my aunt did, because I took your work for Clawsome for granted. I never once thanked you for entering contests in the name of Clawsome, or how you constantly work to shine a light on this salon. For this, I’m deeply ashamed. I’m the one who owes you, not the other way around.”
At last, that brought Ivy around. “No, Mama Ji. For me, it was never about keeping score. It was just…doing what I could to help the family. Your family.”
“Your family, too. And I won’t hear anyone say otherwise,” Ji added with an ominous look thrown like a dagger at Yun Hee. “You want to quit? Go ahead. I won’t blame you or hold it against you in any way. You are not a slave here, and if you find a better place to showcase your talents, then I want you to follow your dreams. What I will not accept,” she added, and again that ferocious bellow threatened to be unleashed again, “is you feeling so beholden to me that you feel you’re not free to talk to me about anything. That is what hurt my heart the most when Minh told us about Sebastian Payne offering you a job.”
That made her blink. “Really?”
“Of course, really. When you keep things from me, it shows me that I haven’t earned your trust, and that I haven’t yet taught you how to breathe fire like a dragon. Dragons are never afraid to say what they feel, Ivy. They’re not afraid of anything. That’s why I’m not afraid to tell you that I love you, and that you are free to do whatever you want and live however you choose. All I ask is that you tell me, truthfully, what’s going on in your life. Oh, and that you promise me you’ll go for whatever dream that fulfills your soul the most,” she added thoughtfully. “Life is too damn short for anything less. Do you understand me?”
The words resonated in Ivy’s brain even as she nodded. “Yes, Mama Ji.”
Ji nodded once. “Good. Now, if you want to quit, then so be it. I would like to ask that you fulfill the bookings you have for the next several months, and if you wish to go on a part-time basis while you begin your work at House Of Payne, then we’ll see how flexible we can be with your schedule. And I can promise you that Yun Hee will mind her words from this point on,” she added with another eye-dagger thrown her sister’s way. “You have my word on it.”
“I don’t know what the future holds for me, Mama Ji, though I’m very interested in Payne’s offer,” Ivy said, feeling a ton of weight she hadn’t even known was there lift from her shoulders. Though she’d never put it into fully formed words, she had felt beholden to Ji to the point where the thought of leaving to expand her horizons had felt oddly disloyal. To be free of that restriction now was everything. “But I still love my job here. For the time being, I’d be happy to stay and finish out all my obligations.”
“Then that’s what I want you to do.” Again Ji nodded and spread her hands wide. “All I ask from you, always, is the truth.”
“I hope you remember saying that.” Minnie stepped out from behind her station, her hands gripping each other so tightly her knuckles were white. “Because I have something to say that I’ve been hiding for a long time now, too. And I haven’t trusted you enough to tell you about it…until today.”
Surprised, Ji turned her attention to her daughter. “Not trust me? What could be so awful that you felt you couldn’t talk to me?”
As Ivy watched, Minnie took a deep breath. “I don’t want to marry Hyun.”
Ji gasped out loud. “What?”
“I don’t want to marry Hyun. No, check that—we don’t want to marry each other. So we’re not going to. Get married, I mean.”
It was as if a silence bomb had detonated in the tiny salon. It was so quiet Ivy was sure she could hear Ji breathing, and it wasn’t necessarily a good sound. Then Minnie stepped forward, her expression so stressed it hurt Ivy’s heart to see it.
“You just told Ivy that dragons aren’t afraid to breathe fire, and they’re not afraid to say what they feel, so this is me breathing fire, Mama. Hyun and I are more like brother and sister, and the thought of marrying each other, of being together for the rest of our lives, makes both of us sick.”
Ji shook her head. “You’re young, you just haven’t tried to see what more your relationship could be.”
“We’ve tried, Mama. You have no idea how much we’ve tried.”
“You can say that again,” Ivy muttered under her breath.
“I like Hyun,” Minnie went on, her eyes willing her mother to understand. “He’s a good friend, but there’s nothing there. No spark, no attraction, no warmth. There’s literally nothing between us.”
Yun Hee came around the counter. “Your parents have made a commitment, Minh. You have an obligation to them, and to Hyun’s family.”
“Even when being forced to marry each other would kill our souls? Mama,” Minnie turned back to Ji, looking like she was on the verge of tears, “you just told Ivy that life was too short to do anything other than to go for whatever dream it is that fulfills your soul. Hyun and I don’t fulfill each other in any way. To force us into a marriage that neither one of us wants is the one way to lose me as a daughter forever. If that’s what you want, keep pushing. You’ll push me forever out of your life, I swear it.”
Ji’s lips all but disappeared. “Are you giving me an ultimatum?”
“I’m giving you reality. If it helps your pride or whatever, Hyun feels the same way. He doesn’t want me as a wife, or a lover. We’ve tried,” she went on, lifting a shoulder. “From role-playing, to sex toys, to blindfolds and ha
ndcuffs—”
“Geez, Minnie, there’s being honest and then there’s TMI,” Ivy muttered, which made Ji’s head swing around to her.
“Did you know about this, Ivy?”
Oh, crap. “I know they don’t love each other, and never have. I know my heart broke a few weeks ago when Minnie shared that she believes she isn’t capable of feeling love, because she can’t feel anything for Hyun. I think she believes there’s something wrong with her because of that, but that’s not true. It’s not true, Minnie,” Ivy went on, looking back at her friend. She was still pissed at her, sure, but that inner fire was hard to hold on to when Minnie looked so forlorn. “You’ve been forced into this role from day one, so not even you know how you’re capable of feeling when it comes to someone you’re genuinely attracted to. Hyun’s always been there, in your head, operating as a kind emotional damper on everything. I only know one thing for sure,” she added, glancing back to Ji. “I’ve watched Minnie smile less and less throughout these past several months, while her behavior has gotten increasingly reckless. Of all the people I have in my life, I’m the most worried about her. She doesn’t say it, and I doubt she ever will, but I think she’s been miserable for a while now.”
Ji stared at her as if she’d never seen her before, before sending that same look toward her daughter. “Is this true?”
“Which part?”
“All of it. No, wait. Just the most important part.”
Minnie gave a helpless little shake of her head. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Minh, the most important part.” Ji crossed to her daughter to grip both her hands, her expression tense. “You’re my child, so I need to know this most important part. Have you been miserable?”
Minnie’s expression didn’t alter, but a single tear slid down her cheek. “Yes.”
Ji’s breath caught. “And you genuinely believe you’re incapable of love?”
Another tear. “I am incapable of love, Mama.”
“Oh, my girl.” Ji hauled her into an embrace and rocked her like she was an overwrought toddler. “I just wanted stability for you, Minnie, that’s all. I wanted that for you because I love you. But if you and Hyun have made this decision together, then fine. Whatever. This isn’t the olden days, when it was all about death before dishonor and eternal shame on the family name and all that crap. We’re in the 21st century, silly girl. If you don’t want to marry Hyun, then that’s it. You don’t have to marry Hyun.”
Minnie pulled away far enough to goggle at her mother, and Ivy couldn’t blame her; she was doing a fair bit of goggling herself. “Really?”
“Of course. Besides, we can always put the blame on Hyun. He wasn’t able to find a way to make you content…it’ll be fine,” Ji added bracingly and let Minnie go to pick up the hand towels she’d left up at the counter. “My girls are dragons, and they make the world how they want it to be, just like me. The trick, of course, is figuring out what you want that world to be, then going after it with all you’ve got.”
Ivy thought about what she wanted most in the world, and it came down to one name.
Tag.
Tonight, she was ready to be a dragon, and breathe some fiery truths.
Chapter Seventeen
“The bidding war has gotten out of hand, so I need you to make a decision. In your heart of hearts, where do you want Ivy, Invictus to go?”
“Maude, this isn’t my thing.” Seated behind the wheel of his SUV, Tag slowed for a stoplight and adjusted the volume of the call coming in through the vehicle’s hands-free sound system. He’d been in almost constant contact with his agent, Maude Brinkley, since he’d unveiled his latest project, and he was beyond tired of dealing with the business side of his career. “I create. Through those creations, I make social and political statements about the world as I see it. I rock the status quo and I don’t give a shit about who may or may not be offended by it, because that’s art. The nuts-and-bolts business of what happens to those creations once they’re out in the world makes me fucking buggy. Leave Ivy, Invictus where it is, for all I care. Let Cloud Life Digital choke on it until the end of time.”
“Which reminds me,” came the drawling reply. “Cloud Life Digital’s lawyers contacted me and your lawyer. They want to sue for defamation and invasion of privacy, since you made it clear in the press release that you’d flat-out taken the email from Ivy Gemelli without her permission.”
“Because I wanted to surprise her. Fuckers.” He moved with the rest of the traffic when the light changed, his thoughts drifting to the woman in question. “Not to mention I didn’t want any of their shit splashing back on her, and we all knew there would be shit from these assclowns. Anyone who tells an artist to hide who they are from the world while still draining that artist dry is a first-class shit-splasher.”
“Yes, they are,” came the fervent reply. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you talked Ivy, Invictus through with me and your lawyer before starting out on this project. I’ve already talked with Devin, and he assures me Cloud Life Digital doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on. They’re assclowns, like you said, and now the whole world knows it.”
“If the tanking of their stock is any proof, I’d have to say you’re right about that,” he said with no small amount of satisfaction. Even if Ivy had decided to forgive and forget the unbelievable insult the tech company had given her, he never would. If their company went down completely, he’d throw a fucking party. “Tell you what. I’ll talk it over with Ivy to see where she wants this project to finally land, and I’ll get back to you by this time tomorrow. Sound good?”
“Sounds good. And interesting.”
Tag flipped on his turn signal. “What do you mean?”
“I just think it’s interesting that you can’t make this decision without Ivy.”
“What the hell, Maude. What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know. Then again, I’ve been married nearly forty years, and it’s perfectly natural for me to go to my husband so we can talk over big issues and come to a decision together. I just never pictured you doing that same thing with your significant other. It’s nice, isn’t it, to have someone else to help you carry the burden of all the decisions that have to be made in life?”
“I guess.” Tag’s brows pulled together as his agent’s words lingered in his head. “But you got the wrong end of the stick on this one. The reason I want to talk to Ivy about this is because while it’s my latest project, it’s her life. This shit happened to her. That means I don’t get the right to say where it goes, because I’ve never known this kind of bullshit discrimination. That’s why I feel it should be her call, not mine.”
“That’s very sweet of you, and understanding.” There was a brief pause. “So you two aren’t getting to the point where you share everything, including decision-making? That’s a big thing for all couples to adjust to. Wait,” she interrupted herself. “Are you even a couple? Maybe you’re just putting on some sort of front for the cameras? If so, keep it up. A lot of the good publicity you’re getting is because everyone loves the match-up of you and Ivy.”
“Shit, Maude, how long have you known me? Do I seem like the kind of shallow dickhead that’d pull a fucking publicity stunt for a few extra clicks?”
“Well, no—”
“And I can assure you that Ivy’s no shallow grandstander either. What we’ve got is the most real thing in my life. I’m not going to let anyone make her doubt how invested I am in her with crazy-ass talk like that.”
“Easy, now,” came the shocked response. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Tag. Good grief, calm down.”
“I just… Sorry,” he muttered, dragging a hand through his hair, just as shocked as Maude sounded at the explosiveness of his response. But it shook him, the thought that Ivy might think, for even a second, that they were together just for fucking publicity. He knew she never thought in terms of publicity. If she did, she’d be the most famous artist in the world, but she honestly didn�
��t give a damn about that. For Ivy, every part of her was genuine. Pure. He’d tear the world apart to make sure she stayed that way. “To answer your question without the madman tendencies, no. Ivy and I are no publicity stunt. What we’ve got going on is real.”
“So I gathered.” A huff of what sounded like laughter came through the SUV’s speakers. “And clearly you’re very protective of what you’ve got with her. I’m happy for you, Tag. You’ve always been such a lone wolf. It’s good to see how you’re letting someone else into your solitary world.”
That made him think of all those weeks ago when he had taken Ivy to see his first, and most personal, mural. “My solitary world,” he repeated thoughtfully, as Ivy’s Guggenheim-painted apartment building came in to view. “Yeah. That’s really kind of it. No one got let in, but Ivy’s different. She gets me. She doesn’t give a shit about where I come from, or how I see the world, or that I have this need to have all my shit battened down tight so I feel I’ve got control of things. She puts up with me. That’s everything.”
“Don’t I know it, hon.” Maude chuckled, sounding delighted. “When do I get to meet her? And does she have an agent? Someone that talented needs someone looking out for her.”
“Once we get past the House Of Payne thing, I’m taking the two of you out to dinner so you and Ivy can have a good face-to-face meeting and see if that’s the direction she wants to go. I swear, Maude, her ability to create proportion, whether it’s on a fucking fingernail or on the side of a building, is genius. The old art professor in you is going to shit kittens when you see some of her stuff.”
“I’ve been studying her work, and I’ve already had quite a few kittens, thank you very much. Just let me know when to mark my calendar and I’ll be there with bells on.”
“You got it. Thanks, Maude.” With a push of a button embedded in the steering wheel, Tag disconnected the call and pulled up to the curb just as he spied Ivy slowly heading up the walkway from the parking lot.
