“A Shetland sheepdog? Why Clem, I haven’t ever heard of such a dog, I thought she surely must be a miniature collie.”
“Yeah, that’s what everybody thanks, but she ain’t, now what is it you wants to know?”
“Okay, but don’t laugh Clem, they may sound crazy to you.”
“Feller there ain’t no crazy questions just, sometimes, crazy answers, throw’em at me. Jest don’t say nothin’ bout that there sprang pokin’ outta the seat. I been aimin’ to git it fixed fer years but heck it ain’t botherin’ me none.”
The Captain started to remark, ‘No, but it’s sure is bothering me’ but he resisted the temptation and said, “Clem, what time is it? What day is it? What’s the year? And finally, for Pete’s sake, where the blazes am I?”
“Dadburn John did you just escape from one of them crazy sanator... sannatot... one of them crazy houses?
“Sorry Clem, no I did not escape from a mental sanitarium. I was out in the backcountry, and my vehicle got caught up on a... a... well, just say it stopped working. That’s why I am walking. Please, what about the time, date and place?”
“Well Mister Doess...”
“Same with my Papa Clem, he was the Mister of my family too, John is fine for me.”
“Well... John I can’t help you with the time. I don’t own me a watch. I reckon time by the sun.” Leaning over he looked at the sky through the truck’s cracked windshield with its accumulation of splattered bugs and dirt, “It’s a couple hours afore sundown, so I’m a thinkin’ it’s ‘round three o’clock. Oh yeah John, yer about a couple miles out of Celina.”
“Celina,” the Captain asked cautiously, “Tex... Tex... Texas?”
“Why shore Texas, where’d you think you wuz?”
Looking at Clem in bewilderment Captain Scarburg could offer no reply.
Clem continued to study the sky - he noticed a large black thunderhead developing off toward the southwestern horizon. “Storms a brewin’, you got a place to put yer head tonight John?”
“No Clem that’s why I was trying to get to Dallas before dark.”
“Well you ain’t goin’ to make it before that there storm gits here. Yer comin’ home with me. You can git to Dallas tomarrey.”
‘Tomar... tomar... oh... tomorrow.... thanks Clem, I believe I’ll take you up on the invitation, but you never did tell me the day and year.”
“Now John I ain’t got me no watch like I said, but I do got me a calender. They give’em out free at the drugstore, you know. Today is Wensdee.”
“Wednesday? Are you sure Clem? What is the date”?
“Shore nuff I’m sure... we go to prayer meetin’ on Wensdee nite and tonites the nite. The day of the month is the 20th in the year nineteen hundred and sixty three.”
“By-ned,” the Captain said softly to himself, “someone put twenty in the guidance computer instead of twenty-two. That could not have been by accident - they did this on purpose. But, right now it’s not all bad. Now I’ve got nearly two days before my rendezvous on that rooftop in Dallas... that’s good.”
“John what in the heck ere you goin’ on about?”
“Nothing Clem, nothing, just thinking out loud about something that happened back on my job.”
“What kinda job you got John?”
“Well, uh, I guess you could call me a... a... uh... uh... a repairman – yeah a repairman. Right now I’m trying to fix some things.”
“Well laws-a-mighty! I’m a fixer too. Mostly frigerdares, stoves, well pumps, cars sometimes, and thangs like that. Why shucks, I even worked on me one of them oil well pumps one time, I guess I’m a repair man too, but people call me mostly a handyman and theys right John, I shore am handy. Oh, and yeah, on the weekends I sometimes work for the Reverend Junior Pickett with weddins’. You know, he got hisself one of them big ole long, black, Cadilack cars, and I drive it fer him.”
“So... you’re a handyman, limousine driver? Nice to meet you Clem.”
“Well here’s my turning off road we’ll be to my place in a couple of minutes John.”
The time was 5:05 p.m., Wednesday November 20, 1963.
THE PONDEROSA
A similar type of dusty, dirt road that had led from the farmer’s house to the main road was now taking Captain Scarburg from the main road to Clem’s place. It was beginning to rain. Every second or two the flash of a jagged bolt of lightning could be seen streaking across the threatening sky followed closely by the crashing peal of thunder. The dust and dirt of the road quickly became red, Texas mud. The Captain kept thinking how lucky he was that Clem happened by and had given him a ride, but judging from the looks of the old Ford wrecker, and Clem himself, the Captain cringed when he thought of Clem’s house, and what it must look like; however, sleeping in a run-down dump of a house was better than huddling up against a tree on the side of the road in this approaching storm.
After a couple of miles, the road rounded a large stand of Leyland Cypress intermingled with an abundance of Tulip Poplars and one magnificent hundred year old Texas Red Oak tree. Looking past the beautiful dark green branches of the Leylands Clem’s place finally came into view. The rain was coming down in buckets and the wind caused Clem difficulty keeping the truck on the narrow road.
“Thar she is John my Ponderosa. Love Hoss, Little Joe, Adam and Pa. Never miss ‘em. Watch ‘em ever Mondee nite at seven o’clock.”
It had been a long time since the Captain had watched the TV show Bonanza, but he responded, “I see Clem you’re a fan of the Cartwrights, so you have a television? What about a telephone?”
‘Sure John, we got’em both. I shore would like me one of them new color RCAs tho’. Cousin Billy Bobs got one, and he sez ‘Bonanza’ looks like a rainbow, all in color - all I gots me is a black and white Philco. And my tellephone is a eight party line. Sometimes, dadburn, them ole wimmen jest won’t git off the line, so I can use it!”
“Who would you want to call Clem?”
“Well nobody John - I ain’t got me nobody to call to, but I jest sure nuff like to listen to it buzz when you stick it up to yer ear. You can’t hear it if’en them ole hens won’t hush talkin’ and git off of the line.”
They slipped and slid through the muck and mire of the mud as they neared the house. As the truck passed the stand of cypress and hardwood trees the Captain saw an astonishing sight. There must be something wrong with his eyes, he thought. Surely this wasn’t Clem’s place, but it was, and he was now plainly looking at Clem’s Ponderosa - the ramshackle, dilapidated house he imagined Clem to live in was... was... well it was quite charming. It was a quaint, wood and brick, ranch style house with a well-manicured yard surrounded by a white picket fence. Ornamental bushes and shrubs were placed in a pleasing arrangement all around the exterior. The roof was in perfect repair, the widows were shuttered, and the paint on the house looked fresh. Scattered around the front, sides and back were a number of large, full-grown, water oaks complimenting the house. Clem’s Ponderosa looked as if it belonged in the suburbs back home. It was very lovely.
“The Ponderosa looks like a fine place Clem, but you do not strike me as the homebody, green thumb, type person.”
“Dadburn you got me pegged John, it’s my danged ole sister Penelope. She’s all the time, ‘Come here Clem, dig me uh hole, come here Clem, trim me that there bush, come here Clem, water them flairs.’
“Flairs? Flairs Clem?”
“You know them purty colored plants that smell good. Fer goodness sakes where’d you come from John?”
“Oh, yes ‘flairs’, I see Clem,” the Captain replied, smiling as he thought of Penelope’s flowers.
“I’m telling you John it’s enough to make a man think real serrius ‘bout gettin’ married. You ain’t married ere you John?”
“Yes I am Clem - in fact, I have a son Robert and five grown grand -children - Forrest, Bud, Lou, Gabrielle and Olive. Bud, Lou and Gabrielle, Gabby as we call her, are triplets. Well I’m sorry I only have four living. Bud
got killed in a war.”
“Sorry John bout your Bud... but the others... theys sound real nice - Penelope’s like me, she wern’t the marryin’ kind neither. Nobody would put up with all that yardy flairs and bush nonsense of hers.”
Parking the truck Clem turned to John, “Come on John git yourself out and lets git into the Ponderosa afore we drown, come on Girl... I mean, come on Lady.” Jumping from the truck Lady took her place beside the Captain as they ran through the rain up the walkway to the porch.
On entering Clem’s house, Captain Scarburg was as surprised with the inside as he was the outside. Everything was neat, clean and arranged in an attractive manner and style. Before the Captain could make a remark Clem hollered, “Penelope git yerself in here we got company.”
Coming through the door from the kitchen was an attractive looking woman he guessed to be in her mid-twenties. John thought, a dab of make-up and a trip to the beauty salon she could be quite beautiful. She was drying her hands on a delicately, embroidered white apron she wore. “Penelope this here’s John. He got broke down, and the rain caught ’em. I offered him our place to stay the night.” Motioning with his finger he said, “John this here’s Penelope.”
“Nice to meet you Miss... uh, Mrs... Penelope. Sorry, Clem never told me his last name... but my name is John... uh... Doe... uh... Doess... John Doess.”
“I’m sorry Mr. Doess...” she began to say as Grandpa interrupted.
“No, just John... John is fine.”
“I’m sorry John I’m Penelope, Miss Penelope Ruby. You have already met my brother Clemson.”
The Captain noticed the frown on Clem’s face at the mention of ‘Clemson’ but Clem knew better than to say anything to Penelope.
“Ruby! Did you say Ruby? Any relationship to the Jack Ruby who owns the Carousel Club on the corner of Field and Commerce Street in downtown Dallas?”
“Sparky? You mean “Sparky?” Yeah, he’s Pap’s brother. That’d make him my...my...
Captain Scarburg finished Clem’s sentence, “Uncle?”
“I’s just gonna say that... yeah uncle, but we ain’t seed nor heerd from him in a quite a long spell,” Clem answered. “He fell in with the wrong crowd that’s so crooked you can't tell from their tracks if their comin’ or goin’. I wouldn't trust’em any futher than I could fling’em.”
The Captain felt terrible about lying to them about his name, but he knew it was better if Clem and Penelope Ruby did not know his true identity. The days following the assassination would see all the family of Jack Ruby questioned and re-questioned about the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald and the President too. Captain Scarburg thought it would be wise if Clem and Penelope did not have to disclose his real name - and he did not want them to lie for him either.
“How’d you no about Sparky?”
“That’s a long story.” The Captain remarked trying to change the subject, “there’s a mighty delicious, inviting smell coming from your kitchen, is it your dinner Miss Ruby?”
“Longs you’re in my house, name’s Penelope. No, it ain’t dinner we et dinner a while back, this here is supper. It’s about done cookin’, yer welcome to have supper with us.”
“Thank you, uh... Penelope... it sure has a mouth-watering smell. I haven’t eaten a bite since breakfast.”
“What about it Penelope? Get them vittals on the table! Me and John done got us a pairfull hunger, right John Doess?”
THE IPHONE
The food was delicious, in fact, scrumptious. “Penelope,” said the Captain, “I believe these chicken and dumplings are as good as the ones my Mama used to make. I thought no one could make them as tasty as she did, but I have to admit these are really good!”
“Thank ya John, I learnt from my Mama too. The secret is to use a good ole fat hen. Not one of them frying chickens. Me and Clem raise our on chickens out thar in the coop, in the back yard.”
“Well, all I can say these are mighty good. And how did you know I ate cornbread with my chicken and dumplings? Next to dumplings my favorite food is rutabaga turnips with pieces of pork chops cooked in them along with a big old piece of cornbread. Now dumplings and rutabagas - that is fine eating.”
“John, you must be from the south... we’s the only ones that eat cornpone with dumplings.
“Yes, Penelope I’m originally from Alabama.”
I knew it! I bet you like to eat ‘maters with yours too like I do. What about it?”
“Penelope, I can’t believe you, cornbread and tomatoes with chicken and dumpling, and served just like I was in a fancy restaurant. You’re a woman after my own heart. Clem you better not ever let Penelope find her a man!”
“Ah, shucks, John - hush up!” Penelope muttered holding her head down pretending to be embarrassed.
“Funny you should talk about Penelope and her servin’ vittals, she works part-time waitressin’ down at the Texas Steakhouse on Main Street in Celina,” Clem offered.
“Why, no wonder Miss Penelope you put on such a fine supper... you are... are... a professional,” Captain Scarburg said grinning.
Enjoying the chicken and dumplings and pleasant conversation everything seemed to be going well until a noise was heard emanating from the front of the Captain’s bib overalls. It was his Iphone smart phone! He had forgotten to leave it behind, and it had been in his flight suit pocket when he changed clothes. At 6 p.m., it was programmed to remind him of the next day’s events. It did! A soothing female voice said, “Reminder... meet with all department heads tomorrow to finalize 2012 budgets.”
Removing the phone from his pocket, he placed it on the dining room table. Both Clem and Penelope had stopped eating mid-bite. What was that small, shiny, black talking box they thought? Even Lady perked up from lying at the Captain’s feet, stood, head cocked to one side, trying to figure out the source of the voice.
“What... uh... uh... what is that... uh... thang... John?”
At first he wanted to fabricate some fancy story about the Iphone. Anything he told them, he knew they probably would believe anyway, but the Captain didn’t want to lie to them. He decided to tell them the truth. He knew he could make them believe a lie, but he wasn’t sure how they would react to the truth?
“Clem, Penelope this is called an Iphone.”
Clem slowly, even slower than normal managed to say, “Iphone...! Yer sayin’, that... that... gadget... is... a... tellephone? Ain’t it your phone?”
“No, Clem... I mean yes Clem it is my phone, but “Iphone” stands for Internet Telephone.”
“Inter... what? Now I must tell you John, I only went to grade five in school afore I quit but now Penelope shes high educated she finished her schoolin’ in grade nine. She said she’d learnt about everthang worth learnin’. Ain’t that right Penelope?
As she nodded her head in agreement, Clem continued, “But I don’t thank she got to the part about them thangs,” he said pointing at the Iphone. Penelope was still nodding her head as Clem said, “go on about that ‘Inter’ thang.”
“I knew this was going to open up a whole new can of worms. Let’s go into the living room. Later I will tell you something that’s going to amaze you. In some ways, it is going to frighten you too.”
They had not finished supper, but after seeing the Iphone Clem and Penelope no longer had an appetite. They were just hungry for more information about that marvelous little black gadget.
Following the two into the living room Captain Scarburg pulled up a chair across from Clem and Penelope, so he could better explain his ‘magic telephone gadget’. They were as eager as two kids on Christmas morning, hardly able to wait for what he had to show and tell them.
“First I’m not the man you think I am.”
“Whats you mean, John? I jest thought you wuz a man from up the road apiece whos truck had broke down. Ain’t that right?”
“Clem that is partially correct - you see I am a time-traveler here from the year 2012 to accomplish a task, which is going to astound you. To prov
e my statement, I have, from 2012, this so-called ‘gadget’ lying here on the coffee table. It is what we, in the 21st century, call a ‘smart phone’. This model in particular is made by Apple and is as I said, called an Iphone.”
“Hold the fort there Hoss... the year 2012? And apples make thangs? I thought people just et apples.”
“Yes... well no... yes I am from 2012 and no... no Clem... Apple is the name of a 21st century commercial company. They make Iphones and Macs....”
“Whoa again John... got to tell us what this Mac thing is. Is it one of them big ole haulin’ trucks that I’ve seed on the highway?”
“No Clem. That is a Mack, M-A-C-K... this Mac, M-A-C... is just another name for computers Apple makes.”
“Computers? John I believe this here is goin’ to be a long night. Better not worry ‘bout going to prayer meetin’ tonight Penelope.”
“Okay, I’m going to start by telling you how I got here.” After this statement, he began at the beginning and told his incredible tale as slow and in as simple and straightforward fashion that Clem and Penelope might understand. He told them about Pegasus landing in the field a few miles from where he ‘borrowed’ the clothes and the spot where Clem picked him up. Clem replied, “Yeah, I know that there place - old man Simpson and his boney dried up, hussy of a wife live there. Her face and a prune would run a good race. Ornery old cusses, I never did like’em. Go on John.”
“My trip from 2012 back to 1963 occurred without a hitch – without a hitch until I looked outside when I landed.”
“What did you see John?”
“Clem, it wasn’t what I saw - it was how I saw it! For some reason, I cannot see things in color - I have color blindness - I see everything in black and white only! A new RCA would not do me any good.”
“I’m sorry John, maybe yer eyes will clear up directly. Go on tell us more.”
“Thanks Clem, I will continue. The day after tomorrow Friday, November 22nd at exactly 12:30 in Dallas President Kennedy will have an attempt made on his life. That’s why I took the chance to get here using the Pegasus machine I told you about.”
Justification For Killing Page 12
