“My father never cries. It’s a weakness. A man moves forward. You have to get the job done. No time to cry.”
“You can’t tell me he hasn’t cried over the love of his life and his daughter. I don’t believe it. Maybe he told you that because he was told the same thing. Maybe in order to move forward together you need to cry together...your earth shifting and your mountains slipping away.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe.”
“Do you want to pray?”
He nodded, but his throat was so dry words clawed their way out. “That would be good. Can we pray silently?” He coughed.
The hand on his arm moved to his hand. She intertwined her fingers between his. “Sure.” She lowered her head, and her lips started moving.
He just watched at first. Not a single real prayer had passed his lips since he was eighteen. The sounds of the night calmed him. Father, God, please forgive me for being silent for so long. Thank You for not giving up on me, for not leaving me, even though that’s what I deserve.
Eyes closed, he poured everything out from the past ten years. He had stopped talking to God during his senior year in high school. When his words finally stopped, Tyler paused and gave God time to speak to his heart, just like his father had taught him.
Time had no ownership of this moment. He sat and spoke with God. With Karly sitting beside him, Tyler lifted his head and looked at the stars scattered across the sky. The light from the living room was at his back, lighting a place that his heart wanted to call home again.
He stood and offered her a hand. “I think it’s getting late. Probably time for the two inside to go to bed. Karly, thank you.”
“Tyler, I’m really sorry for setting it all in motion. I know how emotional bringing up the past can be. This is your family and home, not mine and Bryce’s.”
“Stop it. This is your home, and I’m pretty sure my Dad would adopt you and Bryce if you’d let him. I think John said something about it being in God’s timing. Well, this unquestionably has God’s stamp on the delivery.” He held up the Bible. “I think this is the greatest gift my dad has ever given me, and he used you to get it to me.”
“He’s suffering, too, but doesn’t know how to talk about it. You’re both are so stubborn.”
“I’m thinking you might be right.” His gaze moved over her face, from her eyes to her lips and jaw back to her eyes. He wanted to lean in and kiss her. She had made it clear she had no room for a man in her life, especially one with his lifestyle. She knew what she wanted, and it didn’t line up with his plans. He held her there in the starlight, time moving like a dream. What if he changed his plans?
He moved back, breaking all contact. The moment was gone.
“Good night, Karly. Thank you, and tell Dad I’m all right. Tell him I’m better than I was a month ago.” And I have you to thank for that.
* * *
The house sighed as it settled in for the night. She walked through the dark kitchen into the living room, now a winter wonderland. After their movie watching, Dub and Bryce were all tucked in, and Tyler had left for the bunkhouse. She settled on the sofa with her notebook and Bible. Nighttime was a perfect time to work on her classes and get organized for the next day. It had become her favorite time to pray and reflect on what happened during the day and what goals she still had before her.
She tucked her feet under her skirt. The soft leather sofa engulfed her as she stared at the lovely tree that now stood in the room surrounded by an eclectic collection of nativity scenes. The notebook lay unopened in her lap.
Her phone vibrated. The sound surprised her, and her heart hammered against her chest. Calls at this time of night were never good. “Hello?”
“Karly.” Anthony’s voice had a slur to it. How did he get her number?
“Anthony, I’m not talking to you. And don’t call me again.”
“Wait. I want to take my grandson shopping. I want to spend time with him.”
“No. Don’t call me again. And he’s not your grandson.” As she hung up, she could hear threats and yelling.
Pulling her knees up against her chest, Karly closed her eyes and prayed for wisdom.
Chapter Fourteen
It had been five days since Tyler had left for his first trip. He had said he’d be back today, but today was about to disappear. So much for keeping his word. What hurt the most was seeing Bryce’s disappointment when Dub and she had picked him up from school today. He had gotten used to the routine they had fallen into with Tyler. She sighed and clicked to the next page of the article she was reading for her class.
Who was she trying to fool? She hated the way she missed Tyler, missed seeing him in the kitchen and going into town with him. He would eventually return to Denver permanently and go back to his international flights. Why was she so weak?
Her phone vibrated. She closed her eyes and refused to look at it. Anthony would not stop calling. So far she had been able to ignore him, but he was wearing her down. She just wanted him to leave. The thought of all the people she had come to love finding out about her past made her want to curl up and cry. Her phone vibrated again. Without looking at the screen, she ignored the call.
An hour later she stood and stretched. It was almost midnight, and she needed to get to bed. Thank goodness tomorrow was Saturday. They could all sleep in and be lazy until they headed out for the Christmas pageant.
Headlights flashed across the living room wall. Had Anthony followed through on his threat to come to the ranch? She picked up the phone to call 9-1-1. She was not going to deal with him. Glancing down, she saw she had missed several calls and messages from Tyler. Was he in the driveway?
The front door opened. It had to be Tyler. She went to the living room as he stepped into the house. Gently he shut the door and turned.
He smiled. “Hello, stranger.”
“You’re late.” She wanted to be mad at him, not weak in the knees.
“I know. There was a storm on the east coast that knocked me off schedule, then I couldn’t catch a standby out of Houston. Anyway, I got here as fast as possible.” He glanced at his watch. “I have five minutes before midnight, so technically I made it.” He moved closer to her. “Did you miss me?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I stopped by to leave some stuff for Bryce. I thought I could put it on his nightstand so he’d see it when he woke up.”
“What is it?” She crossed her arms.
“Jealous I don’t have something for you?”
“No.”
He grinned at her. “How about a welcome-home kiss?”
“No.”
He laughed. “You are downright adorable.”
She shook her head while completing a full-on eye roll.
“Can I put these in Bryce’s room?” He held up a handful of blue Jolly Ranchers and some postcards.
“Sure.” She followed him through the dark house to the hallway.
Tyler eased the door open and slipped into his old room. Her heart always turned a bit gooey when she saw her little boy sleeping peacefully. As Tyler laid out his gifts, Bryce shifted.
“Mom?” He rubbed his sleep-crusted eyes.
“It’s me, Cowboy.” Tyler kept his voice low.
Bryce jumped up. She had never seen him wake up that fast. “Tyler!” He stood on the bed and launched himself at his hero. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come back.”
She stifled a gasp. He hadn’t said anything to her.
Patting his back, Tyler hugged the boy. “You’re too important to me to not come back. Isn’t there something big going on tomorrow night, like a Christmas pageant? I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world.” Tyler moved Bryce to his hip. “I remembered something Carol and I would do after we decorated the tree. You want me to show you?”
“Yes!” B
ryce slipped down to the ground.
He glanced at Karly as if he expected her to say no. She turned to go back to the living room.
Tyler moved past her and stretched out on the rug under the sparkling tree. Bryce didn’t hesitate dropping to the ground beside him. “Hurry, Momma, this is cool.”
On the other side of Bryce she lay on her back and joined them under the tree.
Bryce asked Tyler a thousand questions about his trip and where he went, the places he saw and the people he met. After declaring he wanted to be a pilot, too, her son fell into a sudden quietness. Which meant only one thing. She looked over at him. Yep, he was sound asleep.
“I’ll take him back to bed. You stay here.” Tyler carefully gathered the small body of her baby up against his chest and carried him back to the bedroom.
Alone under the tree, she watched the twinkling lights reflecting off the shiny surfaces of the ornaments, creating a kaleidoscope of color on the ceiling. It felt so right having him home. That was so wrong.
He scooted under the tree, his hands one thin tinsel width from her. The warmth of his skin had her fisting her hand in order to resist the urge to make contact.
“Thanks for letting me bring him out here. I know it’s late, but I really missed him.”
She kept her gaze on the ceiling. Had he missed her?
“You said we needed to talk?”
He turned to his side, a grin as bright as Bryce’s on his face. She tried not to think what news would make him so happy, but her heartbeat accelerated in anticipation.
“I have some news for you. You know how you’re afraid to contact your family?”
Dread filled her. Her rapidly beating heart wanted to stop. “Tyler, what did you do?”
“I found them.”
She tried to get away. He laid his arm across her waist.
“You had no right. It was my decision to reach out to them, not yours. And what if they don’t want to meet me?”
He whispered against her ear. “But, Karly, what if they do want to meet you? Which they do.”
“What?” Her head jerked toward him, searching his eyes for a lie. “Why would they want to meet me now, after years of not wanting me? I can’t meet them. My life is a mess. I dropped out of school, had a baby and an ugly string of bad choices.”
“You’re amazing.”
Her eyes widened. “You’re crazy.” She looked into the beautiful, clear blue eyes and found no deception or ruse, but then again, she never did. She was such a fool to fall for the same stupid lines.
“Karly?”
“I can’t do this. I can’t meet them yet. I can’t let you or the promise of a long-lost family distract me from what I have to do. Bryce has to be my focus.” His body moved closer to her. All she had to do was turn and she would be in his arms. She bit the inside of her cheek and scooted away from the illusion of security.
“Karly, we’ll talk about your family when you’re ready. I did what I thought was right.” He followed her, and his warm hand rested on her forearm. “You’re strong, but you don’t have to do it alone, Karly. How many times have you started over when your world fell apart?”
She touched the needles above her. They tickled her fingertips, making her think of Tyler’s scruff—something she had no business thinking about.
“I didn’t have a choice. My son depends on me. I have to make things right for him.” An ornament with Tyler’s little-boy face caught her attention. He had made it clear he didn’t want to be on the ranch.
Karly sighed. “For most of Bryce’s five years, we have ended up in shelters during Christmas. When he was three we actually spent Christmas Eve in my car. I made a promise that one day I would give him a real holiday—that he would never feel rejected or used by people who should love him. I wanted to give him a real family. I made the mistake of thinking Billy was an answer to my prayers, but my habit of leaping into someone else’s arms, ready to be rescued, just got us in more trouble. I am Bryce’s family. I’m all he has.”
“Maybe it was an answered prayer,” Tyler whispered.
“How could my relationship with Billy be an answered prayer?” Tyler had gone off the deep end in more ways than one.
He chuckled. “Not that part. You made some bad choices by putting your trust in the wrong person.”
“Thanks. If you’re trying to make me feel better, this is the worst pep talk ever.”
“Your choices might have been the wrong ones, but God still got you where you needed to be. He got you here to Clear Water. I trusted the wrong people, also. The worst part is I wasn’t the one hurt. I let Gwyn convince me to take my dad’s plane out one night after we had been drinking. She challenged me to fly as low as possible without touching the ground. I did and scared the horses into stampeding. Because of that stupid stunt, my horse was injured and almost killed. The next morning, I broke it off with Gwyn. To get back at me she told everyone I had gotten her pregnant and that was the reason I left her.”
“Tyler, that’s horrible.”
“The worst part is it seemed most people believed her. Even my dad believed her. I had never even touched her. She lied, and people believed her over me.” They fell into a long moment of silence. “Instead of looking at myself, I blamed everyone else, even God.” He turned his head and looked at her. “I’m tired of living with this anger inside me.” A rough edge coated his voice.
Karly reached over and touched his hand. His fingers slipped between hers and softly squeezed. The twinkling light reflected off the blue in his eyes, making her think of the time Anthony had conned a family into taking them to the Florida Keys. The water had been an unreal blue, just like Tyler’s eyes. He might have had the kind of family life she could only dream about, but everyone had a story. The pieces of his weren’t as perfect as they appeared from the outside.
“Your mother would want happiness for you. So does God.” How had they gotten so serious? “So you’re saying my road full of potholes brought me to this perfect place?” She glanced away from the lights dancing across the ornaments and studied their hands. Nestled against his skin, her hands looked small. She’d never really thought of herself as overly feminine, but next to his large hand, pure masculine in their form, her smaller hand looked downright soft and girlie.
With a sigh she turned away from their connection and looked up through the branches, to the star on top of the tree. If she didn’t get control of her thoughts and stay focused on her goal, she would end up making another bad choice. She pulled her hand away from his warmth. His comfortable embrace might be what she wanted, but it was not what she needed. “So you’re saying that despite my bad decisions God still was in control and got me where I needed to be in this moment?”
He grunted or maybe laughed; some sort of masculine sound came from his chest. “I think so. John’s better at this deep thinking and purpose-of-life stuff than I am.” He turned his head and looked right into her eyes. “Something about being under a Christmas tree in the dead of night makes everything else clearer. Thanks, Karly. I didn’t even know how much I missed this.”
Tyler wanted to see the world, but she had seen enough. All she wanted was a home to raise Bryce and a place where people knew her name.
* * *
Tyler wanted to reach out and take her hand back into his. It had been a perfect fit. She had made him think about things he avoided with every fiber of his being. Air was hard to find. He needed to get out of this living room, back to the bunkhouse, back to Denver, back to the skies. If he stayed here much longer, he might start thinking about being a part of Karly’s life on a permanent basis, and that would mean moving back to Clear Water.
Scooting out from under the tree, Tyler avoided touching her. “Tomorrow is the pageant.” Sitting up, he draped his arms over his knees. “I can take you flying Sunday after church.
” He grinned. For the first time he was actually looking forward to church.
“When do you leave again?” Pulling herself up, she sat cross-legged. “Are you going back to Denver?”
“For now I’ve switched to domestic flights. I can put my schedule on the calendar. They are mostly trips of three or four days.” He stood, looking down at her. The lights highlighted her cheekbones and the soft curve of her lips. When had she become the most beautiful woman in his life? He cleared his throat. “Sunday after church?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe we should forget it.” Karly wrapped her arms around her knees, pulling herself into a tight ball.
“Everyone should see the Hill Country by air at least once. The other day I told you I would take you, so Sunday we’ll go up.”
With one sigh and a roll of the eyes, she stood. “Tyler, you can’t make people do what you think they should do. If I don’t want to fly, I’m not going flying.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” The pictures of his family, his dad and his granddad, proud men, seemed to be staring at him from the portrait on the wall. They loved their family and thought they knew what was best for everyone. He chuckled. “I’m starting to realize my mom might have been right.”
She tilted her head. “About what?”
“She claimed the only problem between me and my dad was that we were too much alike.”
“Oh, yeah. She knew you both very well. What took you so long to figure out she was right?”
“It might be that stubborn pride I get so mad at my dad about.” He shrugged. “Anyway, I would love to take you flying on Sunday. I’ll be back if you want to do it later. Or not at all. That’s fine, too.” He grinned. “See, I can be agreeable.”
She looked down at her fuzzy socks, then back up at him, tucking a strand of long hair behind her ear. He wanted to do that. He wanted to run his fingers along that silky strand of hair and pull her close. Holding her felt so right, even though it shouldn’t. She wasn’t his to hold.
A Texas Christmas Wish Page 16
