“It was an accident, Jesse.” I moved my hand to his, the tips of our fingers barely touched. “He’ll have to live with the guilt.”
“Guilt,” he scoffed. “Please, he’s too drunk to remember what he did.”
“He remembers.”
“You talked to him?” he asked. “When?”
“I went to see him yesterday. He’s going to be sentenced soon. Cookie thinks he’ll get a light sentence, though,” I said.
“That’s too bad,” Jesse grumbled. “He deserves a life sentence for the hell he put your family through.”
“You’ve got to forgive him. Remember when you told me I had to forgive my mom and let the anger I had toward her go or it’d eat me alive?”
“Yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t know what I was saying.”
“Jesse, you knew exactly what you were saying,” I said and placed my hand on top of his clenched fist. “I listened to you then, please listen to me now,” I pleaded, looking directly into his eyes.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive him for what he’s done. He can mess up my life as much as he wants, but you, you’re different.”
“I’m no different than you. I’ve forgiven him. If you can’t forgive him, at least let the anger go, Jesse. Otherwise it’ll change you.”
Jesse looked down at his hands and sighed. “For you, Finn, I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises. It’s going to take a long time for me to forgive him for what he did,” he said. I couldn’t criticize him for the way he felt. He was being honest. And, even if those feelings weren’t perfect, they were his, and I had to respect that. “So, tell me, why’d you bring me a pie so late at night?” He looked at me and waited for me to answer.
I gulped and took a short deep breath. “I wanted to see you,” I said. “To talk.”
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Okay,” he said with uncertainty.
I took another deep breath. “I know why you broke up with me.”
He frowned. “Finn,” he breathed.
I held my hand up. “Let me finish, okay?” I had to say what I wanted to say right then and there or else I would never muster enough courage to get it off of my chest. “All that time, Jesse, I thought you broke up with me because you didn’t love me anymore. I thought I had lost you for good. But I was wrong, so incredibly wrong. I was just too blind to see it. Everyone tried to tell me–Nana, Hannah, Sidney–but I wouldn’t listen. I didn’t listen to anyone. I just kept on believing the bad stuff because sometimes the bad things are easier to believe than the good,” I said, staring directly into his light blue eyes. “Jesse, at the time, I didn’t know what I wanted or where I was headed. You were trying to give me space, so I could figure those things out.”
“Yes,” he agreed quietly. “I couldn’t keep dating you knowing in the back of my mind that you were questioning it all, that you weren’t sure. It killed me, Finn,” he said, his lips turned down. “It was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make. I knew if we stayed together, I would only hold you back and I couldn’t do that to you.”
“It took me a while to figure things out, but I finally see things clearly.” I took a deep breath. “Jesse Quinn, I love you and I know what I want, and what I want is you. And I never, ever want to be apart from you ever again,” I said as tears fell from my eyes. I looked at him and waited for a response. It was killing me. Was I wrong? Were his feelings for me gone?
“I think.” He stood up and came to me, leaning over me. I looked up at him, searching his light blue eyes. He took my hand, helping me up. He pulled me close to him–the scent of fresh soap coming from his warm skin. He placed his fingers under my chin and tilted my head up so we were looking into each other’s eyes. The smell of apples and cinnamon came from his moist breath as he said, “I think that’s exactly what I have been hoping to hear from you, Finn, for the longest time. Finley Hemmings, I am so in love with you. You’ve had my heart since the day we met.”
He leaned down and placed his lips on mine and gave me the most delicious kiss of my entire life. I saw fireworks light up the night sky. My heart beat like a drum. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I loved him, and that made this kiss the best kiss of my entire life. This kiss was the real thing.
His lips parted from mine and he looked down at me. My face was flushed and warm, his just as much, if not more. “I’ll always look back on this day as one of my favorites,” I said.
“Me, too,” he said. I stood there so close to him, holding both of his hands, never ever again wanting to let go. He had tied a rope around my heart and now it was his. Forever.
“Don’t go home, yet,” he said.
“I wasn’t planning to,” I said with a devilish grin.
He made a tisk, tisk sound with his lips. “Save the best for last,” he teased. “No, what I meant ‘Miss Dirty Mind,’ was that I wanted you to stay and enjoy this night with me. Let’s hang out. Like old times.” He grabbed my hand, leading me to his back yard.
We sat down, side-by-side, on his back porch step. It was completely dark outside. Not one streetlight shined in the distance. I couldn’t see Jesse clearly but could make out his shadow and hear him breathing. “This isn’t what I had in mind,” I said in a teasing manner, but deep down under, I wasn’t joking.
He whispered in my ear and kissed the nape of my neck, “Get your mind out of the gutter, Finn. It’s still early.”He laughed loudly and drew me closer to him. Fireflies lit up the night sky, blinking light every other second. “I used to catch these with my mom when I was a kid. We’d put them in jars.”
“I love fireflies. I never saw any until I moved here. They don’t live in Florida,” I said in a quiet voice, afraid I was going to wake his neighbors. “I guess there’s a lot I didn’t see or experience until I moved here.”
“I’m so glad you got on that bus last year.”
“Me, too, Jesse. I guess I should thank my mom.” I laughed at the irony.
“We can call her first thing tomorrow morning and thank her.”
We both laughed and then things grew quiet for a moment. “This is nice,” I told him, breaking the silence. “Being here with you. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Me, too, Finn. I’ve missed us.” He kissed me softly on the lips, his fingers ran through my hair. “I could kiss you forever,” he said unabashed.
On that night, our special night, nothing was omitted; everything was out in the open. There was nothing to be ashamed of or too afraid to admit. We both knew what we wanted. Having that kind of certainty made confiding so easy and effortless. It was pure trust and true love. Neither one of us was ever going to let the other go ever again.
I leaned my head on his shoulder and watched the special light show the fireflies were performing for the two of us. “Seeing fireflies is one of my favorite parts about summer.”
He stroked my arm with the tips of his fingers. Goosebumps instantly formed. “That and diving with me, right?” he said.
“Diving with you is my absolute favorite.”
He kissed me longingly, with yearning, different than before, much more intense and layered with deeper meaning. His lips parted mine. I could hear his shallow breaths. He laced his fingers into mine and said, “Anything I get to do with you is my absolute favorite, Finn.”
“As long as I’m with you, Jesse, I’m happy,” I said and smiled. I nuzzled as close as I could get to him and watched as the flickering lights brightened the dark night sky.
“Wanna go to the pool and dive?” He nudged me.
“You read my mind,” I said and giggled.
We both got up and swiftly walked through his house, shutting the front door behind us. I held onto his hand as we ran down the street toward the community pool, ready to dive back in.
Epilogue
Six months later
All eyes are on me. An anxious crowd of people stand before me, but I’m not nervous, instead I’m filled with confidence. A long red ribbon stretches in front of me: my dad is holding one end; my Nana, the other end. Both of them have the proudest expressions I’ve ever seen.
I search the crowd. Almost the entire town of Graceville is here to support me. Jesse, Meg, Hannah, Matt, Sidney, Lou and my mother are in the front, cheering me on. My mother came after all. It took half a year, but she has finally come around. We didn’t speak for months, but in time she realized that what she wanted for me wasn’t what I wanted for myself; that I had to live my own life. She grew to support me in my decisions because I was happy. I was finally doing what I really wanted.
I was such a different person a year and a half ago. The old Finn would’ve never had the guts to open a business. I would have kept living for my mom, doing the things she wanted me to do. I would have passed through life without experiencing anything. If I had never gone to Graceville, I would’ve never known the joy of family who shared the same spirit as me, or discovered what it means to have true friends, or found out what it means to love and to be loved.
“Speech!” several of them shout in unison.
My face doesn’t turn red like it usually does in an instance like this. Instead, my alabaster skin remains unfazed by the adventure I am about to embark on. I am ready. I could’ve drowned this year, but I didn’t. I stayed afloat and learned what it meant to survive, to take a leap of faith.
I start talking, freely and with ease. “Thank you for coming today. I am humbled by your support and hope you will love Charlie’s Cafe and Bakery as much as I do. If my grandfather were here right now, he’d say, ‘Quit yapping, Finn, so we can eat.’ So to honor Charlie Hemmings, I will shut my mouth so that you can all eat.” I place the blades of the scissors around the ribbon and cut it into two pieces. A round of applause erupts.
I push the front door and hold it open and watch as everyone eagerly fills my restaurant. It is mine. All mine. I have done it. And at the young age of twenty. I have managed to make my dream come true.
Jesse waits until the last person trickles in. He lifts me off of the ground and kisses me. “You did it, Finn!” He grins broadly.
I beam. “I did, didn’t I?” I say with pride. I take his hand and walk inside my restaurant, ready to begin the next chapter in my life.
Acknowledgements
Chris, thank you for your advice, support, and feedback. I love you!
Mom, thank you for being so enthusiastic about my books. You should get a commission for as much “pimping” as you’ve done.
Audrey Perrott, my dear friend, thank you so much for editing this book. “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” I appreciate you.
Laurin Baker, you are the world’s best beta reader! Thank you for reading this book and editing it in the process, too. You offered honest, constructive criticism that helped make this story better.
Leighton Frazier, a.k.a. Heat, thank you so much for spending countless hours of your time telling me all about firefighting school. You are awesome!
Charles Jerry Weisner, thank you for talking with me about your experience as a firefighter. You are my hero.
Brandon, Joy, and Adam (Nugget) McNeill, thank you for providing me with police infraction information and for telling me how much Finn’s ticket would cost.
Rodney Rogers, thank you for the information about Graceland. I now feel like I’ve been there, and I know that I never, ever want to go!
Hunter (Dancy Pants) Conley and Holly Horton, thanks for being my models for the book cover. You gave up most of your Saturday, and all you got out of it was a meal to Arbys. You guys were great to work with!
Kristin Jordan, you are a talented, fantastic photographer! Thank you for an incredible photo shoot.
Sarah Mandell (onceagainsam.com), you kept me on-track. Thanks for helping me write the blurb.
Teresa Roche, thank you for hosting my book signing events!
Victoria and Ashleigh Simmerson, my cousins, thank you for all your support and for making The Summer I Learned to Dive a part of your book club’s reading choice.
Annie Koelle, once again, your art inspired me while I wrote this book.
To the all of the members of the BA: you are such a supportive, awesome group of people. I’m thrilled to be a part of this group!
Authors J. Sterling and Michelle Warren, thank you for being so giving and for offering me advice.
To my friends and family: thank you so much for your support.
To the readers: thank you for encouraging me to write a sequel to The Summer I Learned to Dive
About The Author
Shannon McCrimmon was born and raised in Central Florida. She earned a Master’s Degree in Counseling from Rollins College. In 2008, she moved to the upstate of South Carolina. It was the move to the upstate that inspired her to write The Summer I Learned to Dive. Shannon lives in Greenville, South Carolina with her husband and toy poodle.
The Year I Almost Drowned Page 26
