“You looked pretty deep in thought. Be honest – you were thinking about me, right?”
I laughed. “You got me.” This is what I needed; mindless distraction.
Taylor laughed and leaned into me rubbing her hand on my chest. She did this frequently – casual, intimate touching. She was a piece of work.
“Are you going to Mark’s party?” she asked.
“Yeah, I think so. You?”
“I can’t. My family is going to Lake Geneva for the weekend.”
Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Hannah approaching. It was like I had developed this hyperawareness of her, so whenever she was in a particular radius I could practically feel the air vibrating with her presence. I noted that she was wearing another outfit that, while not particularly fashionable, better suited her figure, particularly her chest. Fuck, she was stacked. It pulled me right out of the meaninglessness of my interaction with Taylor, which, in turn, pushed my anger and resentment to the surface.
Knowing that Hannah would be unable to avoid seeing it, I grabbed Taylor and pulled her to me. I twisted my hands in her hair, barely registering her look of shock as I slammed my mouth down on hers. The kiss probably looked more passionate than it actually was, but I was eager to create space between me and the idiotic thoughts Hannah was provoking in me.
I had my eyes open slightly and noted that Hannah had come to stand still in the hallway Her look of wounded shock caused an irritating twinge under my breastbone. I switched my focus back to Taylor, who was starting rub against me. My body had no actual interest in her, so while her movements were pointless and easily to ignore, I realized we were creating a scene. I pulled back and stared at Taylor’s dreamy, dumbfounded expression and realized I was going to have to explain this incredibly uncharacteristic behavior in way that made sure she didn’t get the wrong idea.
I saw Hannah barrel past us, her cheeks red and her face expressionless. Her pony tail swung furiously as she walked away, her back stiff. I was half tempted to follow her, but Taylor tugged on my arm, pulling my attention back to her.
“Nikolai, where did that come from?” she asked, hazel eyes wide with expectation.
Goddamn it. I didn’t have the capacity to deal with this shit right now. “Nowhere – it was just an urge. I was just fucking around. You know, like we do.”
Taylor’s face crumbled in disappointment. “Oh, yes, right.” She swallowed and smiled half-heartedly. “Well, I better get to class.”
“Yeah, me too.” Eager to get the fuck out of this hallway, maybe out of the school, I moved quickly and mindlessly away from Taylor. I was so focused on escape, I didn’t notice Jack until he was standing right in front of me. He was wearing a comically confused look.
“What the fuck was that?”
“What?”
“What the fuck do you think? Making out with Taylor in the hallway. What are you trying to do, steal my moves?” Jack was joking, but still appeared to be genuinely surprised by my out of character behavior.
I drove my fingers through my hair in frustration. “I don’t know, I just fucking felt like it, okay?”
Jack jerked his head back at my atypically sharp tone. “Whoa, settle down. I don’t give a fuck who you make out with. It just wasn’t like you, is all.”
I responded in low voice. “I know, this stupid deal with Hannah is fucking with my head. I needed her to understand that there is no actual relationship between us, so I kissed Taylor to make sure she was clear.”
Jack’s eyes widened with comprehension. “Now, that makes sense. Is Hannah trying to act like your real girlfriend?” He responded in an equally low tone. The bell had just rung, so the hallway seemed mostly empty. Although I was starting to seriously regret helping Hannah, I had agreed and didn’t want other people to overhear us. Fortunately, there were mostly lockers and vocational classes in this hallway, so not too many students were here between classes.
I shook my head. “No, not really, but I feel like it could head in that direction. I don’t need some fucking attention-starved nerd getting the wrong idea and creating all kinds of fucking drama.”
“Nik–”
“I know, I know, I shouldn’t have fucked with Taylor like that,” I continued.
“Nikolai, you–”
“I’m a dick? Yes, I know, but Hannah needs to fucking get it. I do not want a girlfriend under any circumstance, least of all her.”
I heard a locker slam loudly behind me. “Message received.”
Hannah.
Jack was grimacing and shaking his head. He slapped me on the arm, turned and walked away. He was the lucky one.
I slowly turned and saw Hannah standing there, her expression indecipherable. Her dark blue eyes were glassy, but I couldn’t tell if they were filled with tears of sadness and embarrassment or glistening with rage. I was going to go with anger. Her flushed cheeks and she her chest was heaving in a way that made me aware of her wrath and her full breasts. Fuck, I didn’t need that kind of distraction, so I quickly jerked my gaze back to face.
Hannah took a quick look around the hallway, then stepped closer to me. “You have a lot of nerve, Nikolai. You think you are so fucking irresistible?” She has lifted her finger to point at me and ended up poking her finger into my chest with each of her words. “Do you?”
“Look, Hannah, I–”
“No, you listen to me. I never said I wanted to date you in real life, you got it?”
I moved my back against the wall of lockers, so I could see if anyone wandered into the hallway, and also to escape her jabbing finger.
My move seemed to infuriate her because she then started to pace in front of me, ranting and raving in a low voice about narcissistic personality disorder and jumping to conclusions. Although I was adamant about her not having any expectations for a real relationship, I had to admit there was something sort of adorable about her as she stalked back and forth, waving her hands in gestures of frustration and outrage. I wasn’t really even listening to her anymore, just watching.
She suddenly turned to me, her hands on her hips. “Okay?”
“Okay, what?” I goaded her. While I really hadn’t been listening, I could have played it off.
“Weren’t you listening to me?” Hannah squawked with outrage. “You can kiss every girl in this school for all I care. I just need your help, that’s all, so take you can take your oversized ego and…and….”
I popped off the lockers. “And what?” This was where I fuck myself. I want her to not want to date me, yet when she is telling me directly that she doesn’t care about me making out with some other girl, I don’t like it. I can tell when a woman is interested in me, and I know she’s probably only saying this stuff to salvage her pride, but it rubs me the wrong way that she’s so emphatic about her disinterest. It’s one thing for me to set her straight, it’s another for her to set me straight.
“And shove it…” Hannah’s face turned bright red, probably from the combination of my intense stare and whatever she was trying to say.
I walked toward her, so now her back was against the lockers. I put a hand on either side of her head and leaned my face close enough that I felt her panting breath on my mouth. I reached up and pulled her glasses off her face. I had no idea why I did it, but I needed to see her features unobstructed. She blinked in surprise at the sudden and unexpected move.
“And shove it where, Hannah?”
Hannah just stared at me, at a loss for words.
“Are you sure you were just the tiniest bit jealous? Jealous that it wasn’t you I was touching, you I was kissing?” I stared at her pink lips as I questioned her. Lips that were unremarkable moments ago, but now looked ripe and soft. Her tongue reached out to swipe at them, make them shine in a way that was suddenly captivating.
“No.” Hannah croaked softly.
I leaned in a little closer, my mouth moving slowly towards her ear, my breath caressing her cheek. “Are you sure?” I whispered in her right ear.
Her e
yelids slid down, and she nodded her head.
What the fuck was I doing? This was the opposite of the original plan. I pulled back, and remembered I had her glasses in my hand. I quickly slid them back onto her face, and her eyes popped open.
“Good, keep it that way.” I turned and left her gaping at me in confusion.
I knew how she felt.
Chapter 11
Hannah
Nikolai: Connors will be back tomorrow. I will keep him away from you.
Hannah: How will you keep him away from me?
Nikolai: Don’t worry about it. I have it handled. Katya is picking you up tomorrow after school to take you shopping. I will meet you guys later.
Hannah: Okay. Thanks!
I looked over the texts Nikolai and I had exchanged last night as I sat on the bus on my way to school. I’d forgotten that Katya, his whatever, was taking me shopping, but I’d agreed, so I needed to just shut up and deal with it. I was starting to get used to his late-night texts and found myself waiting anxiously to hear his ring tone. It wasn’t like I’d been sleeping. How could I when every time I thought about our peculiar, intense exchange in the hallway, I was overcome with excitement and confusion?
I had been swooped up in a cyclone of emotions yesterday with barely a breath to register each one. When I closed my eyes last night, the image of him kissing Taylor Ferguson seemed tattooed to the back of my eyelids. Seeing them had been like taking a sledgehammer to the stomach. It made me feel so foolish for harboring this pointless crush on him, when it was obvious he was a player who wanted nothing to do with someone like me. He had made that painfully obvious when I overheard him talking to Jack.
If I hadn’t already been reeling from seeing him with Taylor, his cruel words would have sent me to my knees. Instead, they pushed my angry pride to the surface, and against my better judgement I found myself insisting I didn’t have any feelings for him and that it was only his bloated ego that made him think I was interested.
I hope he bought it.
Then the strangest event in a series of strange events. Backing me into the lockers, whispering in my ear? What had that been about? I had felt paralyzed by his closeness, the feel of his breath on my lips, his low voice in my ear. Had he been flirting with me? Trying to intimidate me? My experience with this sort of thing was zero, and he had just gotten done telling Jack how unappealing I was, so I wasn’t sure what to think. All I knew is when he pulled away, my legs were shaking, and my heart had been pounding in anticipation of what he might do next. I barely slept last night due to the torrent of conflicting emotions Nikolai had stirred up.
The bus hit a pothole, jarring me out of my confusing thoughts. I looked down at my old uniform of baggy pants and an oversized sweatshirt, and for the first time felt miserable that I had to wear them. In the past, I had simply accepted the dowdy clothing as a way to manage this situation with Jeff, but now, with Nikolai helping me and having had the chance to dress a bit more normally, these clothes felt like a prison.
My bus pulled up to school, and I felt the dread I was used to feeling knowing that Jeff was back at school today. Rising up to move with the crowd of kids departing the bus, I felt a vibration in my hand and looked down to see Nikolai’s name staring back at me. Even though I knew he probably wasn’t texting me anything remotely romantic, I still felt a jolt course through my body and a small smile turn up the corners of my mouth.
Nikolai: Don’t worry – I’ve got a plan to deal with Connors.
My hand tightened on the phone as I struggled to control the upwelling of emotions rolling through me. I quickly blinked away the tears of relief that rushed to my eyes. It was worth dealing with all of Nikolai’s confusing behaviors, when he did so much to make sure I was safe.
Me: Thank you.
No two words had ever been more heartfelt.
*********
In spite of Nikolai’s text, knowing that Jeff was wandering the school somewhere triggered my fight or flight response. I ran to my locker, grabbed the books I needed, and hustled to first period.
As I exited first period, I saw Jeff making his way towards me, a scowl of irritation on his face. I felt sweat slide down my spine and my feet felt like blocks of cement. He was about twenty feet away when Nikolai’s friend, Jack walked up to him and grabbed him by the shoulder.
Jack said something that had Jeff jerking back in what looked like shock.
“What the FUCK?” Jeff yelled loud enough for me to hear, even at my distance.
Jack shrugged and folded his arms on his chest. Jeff pushed past him and ran down the hallway in the opposite direction, towards the main office.
I stood in astonishment as Jack walked in my direction and winked at me. I couldn’t resist asking, “What did you say to him?”
Jack shrugged again. “I was just the messenger. Apparently, his car is on fire. Must have been some kind of faulty wiring. Bad luck, there.” Jack shot me another smirk and walked down the hall.
I couldn’t help the burst of laughter that escaped my mouth. Jeff worshipped his stupid car, a BMW convertible I’m certain he did absolutely nothing to deserve. Nikolai targeted the one thing that would consume Jeff’s attention for the rest of day. I guess it was possible that Jeff could return to school, but it was highly unlikely. I felt the ball of anxiety that has been sitting in my gut since this morning start to dissipate and walked to my next class.
Around eleven, I got a text from Nikolai telling me that Katya would be picking me up in the parking lot after school in a red Mercedes convertible. Katya....ugh. I was not looking forward to having one of Nikolai's lady friends dressing me. However, it was a small price to pay for the peace I had felt all day today.
However, I was terribly curious about her relationship with Nikolai. That curiosity got the best of me and I found myself texting Nikolai back.
Me: How do you know her? What should I talk to her about?
I sent the message and re-read it, feeling like a dope. I was basically asking him to tell me how to have a conversation with someone. God, I was going to get dumped by my fake boyfriend right before we started fake dating.
I kept my phone on my desk, which again, was pretty much prohibited in school, but teachers were typically lenient about it if it wasn’t a distraction. I hated how often my eyes would drift to the phone sitting silently on the corner of the desk. A part of me was nervous that he would text me back and tell me to stop asking stupid fucking questions, another part of me was nervous he’d never text me back again for the same reason.
I had gotten so caught up in a word problem about derivatives, that I almost didn’t register that my phone was making short, jerky vibrations on my desk. I grabbed it and swiped it open.
Nikolai: Are you serious?
I felt myself flushing in embarrassment, but honestly, his response was a best-case scenario. I wisely put the phone away and didn’t respond.
After school, I leisurely walked to the parking lot, as Jeff never returned to school. I overheard many other students talking about what had happened to Jeff’s car and how inconsolable he was about it. Nobody appeared to consider it an act of vandalism, so hopefully Nikolai’s method of distraction would not be discovered.
When I got to the lot, I saw who I could only assume was Katya sitting in her car, top down, waiting. One of the popular guys, Mark Cassidy, leaned on the side of the red Mercedes convertible, and was apparently trying to flirt with her, but she kept pointedly looking at her fingernails and messing around with the radio. I didn’t blame him for hitting on her, though. Her face, currently the picture of boredom, was very attractive. She had long, red-gold hair, porcelain skin and lush, full lips that gave her face an exotic look. Scanning her black, off the shoulder top with a black camisole underneath and a long silver, chunky necklace, I could see why Nikolai asked her to help us out. Katya looked effortlessly stylish.
I trudged up to the car, dreading being within the orbit of this very attractive female while feelin
g like some hobo asking for spare change at a busy intersection. I was almost to the car when she popped up and sat on the top of the driver’s seat.
"Hannah?" she asked, her red-gold eyebrows rising above her sunglasses. Nikolai must have described me. There was no way she simply assumed I was his new girlfriend.
I gulped. "Yes, hello." Her bored expression morphed into a pleased smile, exposing perfect, white teeth. She waved me over. "Come on, let's get out of here."
I opened the door and slid into the passenger seat, taking note of the softness of the leather and a dashboard filled with more lights, buttons and screens than a Best Buy. I think this was the nicest car I'd ever been in. Katya slid down her seat and turned to me, smile still firmly intact, and held out her right hand to me. I took it, and as we shook she said, "I'm so happy to meet you, Hannah. Nikolai is one of my best friends, so when he told me he wanted to take his girlfriend shopping, I obviously jumped at the chance."
I couldn’t tell whether she stressed girlfriend because she knew this whole thing was fake, or if she was simply shocked that Nikolai would help me and assumed I was his girlfriend. Either way, she seemed friendly, and that was a huge relief. I briefly looked at Mark's face as she put the car in gear and noted his frown of puzzlement. I'm not sure if it was because we were together, or that she had blown him off. Probably both.
"So, Hannah, Nikolai hasn't really given me any details about what we're doing, but I know we're going to bring some style to your life," she said as she pulled out of the parking lot onto the street. At the next light, she slid her glasses on top of her head and glanced over at my clothes, hair, and makeup free face. “I'm very pleased he has given me so much to work with." She winked after she said this, her newly revealed hazel green eyes twinkling. I still wasn’t sure what Katya knew, but I liked her—her lightness and energy. I needed some of that in my life. I felt myself relax and return her smile with one of my own.
"Yes, Nikolai seems to believe that I am fashion backward,” I deadpanned. Katya laughed and patted me on the knee, as if to soften the sting of Nikolai’s opinions. “I have to admit, most of my fashion choices are mostly based on the twin desires of comfort and invisibility."
Nikolai (Dangerous Love Series Book 1) Page 5
