“Don’t feel like celebrating. Would you?” he asked, his voice more sharply than he intended.
“I thought I would,” she said, obviously hurt and concerned for him. “But if I should be mad, then let’s go back to my place and have angry sex.”
He let go of her hand. “Damn woman, does everything have to go back to sex for you?”
She eyed him for a moment. “Look. I get that your pride’s been damaged by this, and you’re completely justified in being hurt and angry. But I was only trying to make you feel better.”
“Maybe I don’t want to feel better. Maybe I never wanted this to happen in the first place.” He sliced his hands through the air. “Did you ever think of that, Bailey?”
“No,” she snapped. “I was too busy trying to think like a normal person. You know, if I feel bad, then I want to feel better. How can I do that? Things of that nature.”
God, he loved her like this. He loved her in every way she was. Sassy, shy, sexy, fierce. Loyal. Loving. Encouraging. He could go on and on, but all of those things that made him love her were the reasons why he couldn’t keep her.
He didn’t deserve her.
Framing her face in his hands, he gently pressed his lips to her forehead. “I need some alone time. Need to make some calls and figure things out.”
“What things out, Lucas?”
“Things that would be better for you and Leo, baby. Things that would be better for everyone.”
“Don’t, Lucas,” she said, tears slipping from the corners of her eyes. “Whatever you are planning, don’t. Or at least call me first, okay?”
“Can’t promise that, Bailey. Sometimes, it’s best to make a clean break and start over. You of all people should be able to understand that.” Kissing her one last time, he let go of her and walked away.
*
Bailey paced in her living room, hands behind her back while she kept one eye on the clock. It had been two hours since Lucas had given her the crappiest break-up line in the history of break-up lines.
“You of all people should understand.” She blew a raspberry. “When he calls, I’m going to demand he come over here and apologize. Then I’ll lock him up in my bedroom and only let him out when he comes to his senses. That totally worked in the last romance novel I read.
“Although, that was completely creepy. But, historical romance,” she added. But would she be guaranteed a happily ever after like the heroine of that book?
Bailey froze. The only way she would have a happily ever after with Lucas was if she made her own.
Because it was clear that he wasn’t calling.
*
She stood there in shock, unable to believe what was happening right in front of her eyes as she tried to catch her breath. Lucas stormed through his apartment, grabbing his things and shoving them in a large duffel bag as he went.
“What are you doing?” she finally managed to say.
He didn’t bother to look at her when he replied. “What does it look like?”
Heart leaping into her throat, she said, “It looks like you’re leaving for a trip, but I can’t figure out why you didn’t tell me in enough time so Leo and I can go, too.”
This time, he didn’t look at her, his face dark. “I’m not going on a trip. We both know it.”
Yes, she did know it and she hated it. It hurt that he would allow everyone else’s opinion of him to matter so much that he’d leave Jessamine. But it broke her heart that he believed he had no other choice.
She moved to the bed and started unpacking his clothes, then folding them into small piles. “You really should fold these before you pack them. They’ll wrinkle if you don’t.”
“You’re helping me pack?” His large hand fell on her shoulder and spun her around. “Don’t you want me to stay?”
Putting on a calm front, she forced her anger and sadness down. “I don’t want you to do anything that makes you unhappy.”
His grip tightened on her shoulder. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“I know I didn’t,” she said softly. “But why would what I want matter when you’ve already made up your mind?”
“Damn it, Bailey.” His eyes closed briefly, but not before she glimpsed the raw anguish residing in them. He was not a man bent on leaving. “I’m not staying because I can’t handle it. I’m not staying because you and Leo deserve better than my reputation. Better than what I can offer. How is Leo supposed to know how a man is supposed to act when I’m constantly shadowed by my past?”
“A man is not defined by his past, it’s what he does with today that makes a difference,” she said.
“Who fed you that line?” He let go of her shoulder and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Me.” A tear slid down her cheek, then another and another, but she refused to wipe them away. He needed to see that she was crying over him. That he was responsible for making her cry. “Don’t let your past define you, Lucas. At least stay here with your family. They would miss you.”
He zipped up the duffel bag, avoiding her face and her tears as he stared at everything but her. “They’d be happy to be rid of my ass.”
He zipped up the duffel bag, avoiding her face and her tears as he stared at everything but her. “They’d be happy to be rid of my ass.”
Bailey grabbed Lucas’ arm. “You asked me if I wanted you to stay. The answer is yes. Yes, Lucas. I want you to stay. Please stay.”
She could see the inner battle being waged on his face. His cheeks flushed and his jaw worked. “You think I want to leave you? Hurt you? You don’t think I don’t know that I’m the reason you’re crying?” He shook his head. “You’re the last person I want to leave. The last damn person in this world I want to hurt, and those tears—” He threw the duffel bag across the room with a muffled curse.
“Please stay. I love you. Leo loves you,” she said, desperate to get through to him. Desperate to make more inroads and change his mind.
Lucas rubbed the bridge of his nose and tipped his head back. “I’m trying to do the honorable thing.”
She shook her head sadly. “How can a man with such a disreputable past consider doing the honorable anything?”
Lucas shot her a baleful glare, but she could tell his heart wasn’t in it.
Bailey hiccupped.
Gently taking her in his arms, Lucas gazed into her eyes. She could see the battle he was fighting.
"Please stay for me," she said. "I don't know what else to say or do to get you to change your mind...Except that I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." “Look, you and I need to have a talk,” he said.
She tipped up her nose. “Only if it involves the words ‘I’m staying’.”
“Bossy little thing,” he said with so much affection in his voice that she wanted to kiss him. “I have a few conditions if I stay here.”
“If you stay here, I’ll let you have whatever you want.” She winked. But inside, she was still praying for his sudden change of heart to be permanent.
“It’s a damn good thing you feel that way because I want you, Bailey. I want you and Leo to be in my life. Permanently.” He bent his knees a little. “The three of us are going to be a family. No more of this playing family. You, me, and Leo all need consistency. Sunday dinners and soccer games. Movie nights.”
“But we already have those things,” she said, unwilling to let his apparent change of mind give her too much hope.
“Okay, so I need all those things,” he admitted. “I need you, Bailey. I love you. I love everything about you. You make my life a life worth living. You make me feel like I’m worth something. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Even talked to my mom about you and Leo.”
He pressed a kiss to her trembling lips. “I know you might find what I’m about to say too good to be true, but I swear Bailey—it was killing me to leave. Killing me.”
More tears fell down her cheeks. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Believe it. Here I am.
All of me—the good, the bad…you know, everything. I’m yours. Truly yours,” he said, taking her breath away.
But she found it just in time to say, “I’m yours too.”
Chapter Sixteen
‡
Two months later
Bailey stood in her parents’ living room as music played outside, peering through the curtains into the backyard.
Lucas’ brothers and cousins escorted guests to their seats. She was thrilled to see his side just as full as hers.
Suddenly, Lucas appeared, Leo by his side, dressed like a mini-me in his little black tux. Today was the day. A day she’d never thought would come, not given her past or track record with men.
“The past no longer defines me,” she whispered as butterflies took flight in her stomach. She shouldn’t be nervous, but a woman didn’t get married every day.
But Lord, what a crazy couple of months they had had leading up to it. It had taken her parents that long to get Lucas to agree to let them pay for the wedding. Although things weren’t perfect between them, they at least were on speaking terms. More than that if she counted the times her dad had taken Lucas and Leo golfing at the country club.
His parents had been much, much easier to break their wedding news too. Especially Lucas’ mother. Mrs. Lawson had thrown her arms around her and then launched herself at Leo, saying she had two grandchildren now.
Bailey never thought her heart could ache in joy, but that day it had. And now, Leo had started calling Lucas Dad on occasion. All it had taken was a fishing trip with Lucas and Mr. Lawson, who insisted on being called Poppa.
All in all, the past few months had been everything she’d ever hoped for. More, really.
In the distance, she heard a door open and close. The sound of heels echoing in the foyer.
“I brought you something blue.”
Jolted out of her thoughts, she turned to the woman behind her.
Apple smiled at her, looking more beautiful than any one woman had a right to on another’s wedding day. She wore a lime-green sheath dress, four strands of pearls, and nude, kitten heels. Her pale hair was caught up on one side, leaving the rest down and curling over her shoulders.
“Who let the press in?” Bailey teased.
Apple stepped closer. “I let myself in, of course. But I did have an invitation. So I’m not crashing.”
“Will you be writing about this in your paper?”
The blonde shook her head, not a strand of hair falling out of place. “Not me personally, but I have the most darling bridal section now. My star reporter is covering. I predict weddings are going to be huge in Jessamine—what with all these Lawson brothers getting married. Maybe even a McCoy sister will tie the knot.”
“With a Lawson brother?” Bailey couldn’t help but ask.
Apple sniffed. “Lemon wouldn’t do something so stupid, and Cherry’s still involved with that man.”
That man was a twenty-something firefighter who worshipped the ground Cherry walked on.
“Maybe you’ll find a man of your own. Lemon, too.”
Apple smiled. “You’re sweet, but I’m fine. Lemon will be too as soon as she accepts that,” She took a breath. “Never mind about my little sister. I have a gift for you.”
Leaning forward, Apple clipped earrings on Bailey’s lobes. “Is this my something blue?”
“Sapphire blue. They belonged to Great-Grandmother McCoy.”
“I can’t wear your grandmother’s jewelry,” Bailey all but shouted as she reached for the earrings.
Grabbing Bailey’s wrists, Apple shook her head. “It’s great-grandmother and I can’t believe you’re being so high in the instep. It’s rude. Those are real, so are the diamonds. Either you wear them or I’ll print in the paper that your wedding was gorgeous, not beautiful.”
“Fine! I’ll wear them.” She gave Apple a curious look. “I’m still not sure why you bothered to try to help me date.”
“I told you, McCoy women are superior matchmakers.”
“But you didn’t make a match with Lucas and me.”
Apple winked and bussed her cheek. “That’s what you think.” Giving her a little wave, she started for the backyard. “Your bridal party is on its way. I do hope you’ve disabused them of the notion that those dresses can be worn anywhere, not just at the wedding.”
Bailey rolled her eyes. “Go be seated.”
“Front row, right?” With a serene smile, Apple went outside. Bailey peeked through the curtains again, and damn if Preston didn’t seat Apple right up front beside her parents.
“How does she do that?” Bailey mused. “Magic powers?”
“Bailey,” the wedding planner called out. “It’s time.”
Lucas watched his bride float down the aisle. She was beautiful, glowing even. He looked down at Leo, and the kid looked up at him. He gave him a thumbs-up and the crowd chuckled.
Lucas wasn’t exactly sure what his and Leo’s relationship would turn into, but lately, he noticed the little boy had been calling him Daddy. It was often, like Leo was testing him out just to see what he said.
But now that they were all moving in together into Bailey’s dream house…Leo could call him whatever he wanted. He would be exactly what he needed.
Brody leaned over. "Tell me again why I'm the ring bearer and Leo gets the be the best man?"
"Because I like him better," Lucas whispered back. Slowly but surely, his and Brody's relationship was getting better, especially after the talk they'd had a few weeks ago. Brody actually texted him now, and sometimes he'd even ask him to get a beer after work. While it wasn't perfect, it was good. It was true. No more lies and hurt feelings stood between them.
"And you wanted to watch me walk down the aisle holding a lacy pillow," Brody grumbled.
"That, too," Lucas admitted with a hushed laugh, then his attention focused completely on the woman walking down a rose-covered path.
Bailey joined them at the front.
He would be what she needed, too.
“I love you,” she whispered as her dad placed her hand in Lucas’.
Just as he was about to say the same thing to her, she leaned into him and added, “Like I really love you in that tux. Can we not return it so soon? The tie is giving me ideas.”
He felt his face heat and he had to clear his throat a couple of times, but he managed a nod.
God, life with her was going to be full of surprises. And he was going to enjoy every last minute.
Adam, the oldest of the Lawson brothers, opened his Bible and smiled. “Dearly Beloved.”
Epilogue
‡
Mason Lawson hated being home again. He hated the parties, the parades, his brother and Bailey’s idiotic wedding, and having to smile at people who wouldn’t leave him the hell alone.
That was all he wanted.
Isolation.
Peace.
Quiet.
Death.
Music blared from next door, from a house that should be empty, but wasn’t because the lady who had lived there for the past century had the nerve to meet her heavenly reward and leave the damn thing to her children.
Those rat bastards had the nerve to sell it to a music teacher of all people, and not the kind who taught at school, either. Oh no, her instruments were at her house because school was out for the summer. Worse, they were being played by kids with skills that rivaled Bomber’s.
That’s it. He was calling. Mason dialed her number and waited impatiently for her to pick up the phone.
Surprisingly, she picked up on the first ring. “Hello.”
“Turn down your damn music, or I’ll call the sheriff and have him do it for you.”
“Who is this?”
“Your neighbor. The one you should be considerate of,” he bit out, uncaring of how sexy of a phone voice she had. He wouldn’t pay attention to her sexy phone voice.
“Oh. Mason Lawson. How nice to finally talk to you. Last weekend, I saw you strolling ar
ound in your yard and said ‘hello’, but you didn’t hear me.”
He didn’t stroll. He limped. And he sure as hell didn’t hear her say anything to him. “I heard you,” he lied. “I didn’t want to answer in case you took it as an invitation to tea.”
There was a pause. “I see.”
“Good. Now I want you to hear. Stop encouraging those tone-deaf brats. Some of us need some peace around here.” He would have slammed down his phone if he could, but the damn thing was a cell, so he had to settle for mashing the crap out of the end button instead.
Violins started up again, and he cursed up a blue streak. Bomber, his four-year-old golden retriever, blew out a breath through his nose and rested his head on Mason’s thigh, as if to say, “Women. What do you expect?”
A trombone joined in.
He winced and covered his ears like a two-year-old who didn’t want to hear what anyone had to say.
Which lately, wasn’t too far from the truth.
But everyone had something to say—from his doctors, to his psychologist, to his parents. Sometimes his brothers—especially Tristan, but who could blame his twin for being concerned? Then again, Tristan believed they were connected by some force, like in Star Wars. Only, Mason was pretty sure he was Darth Vader.
He glanced down at his Vader is my Homeboy t-shirt.
Another reason why people wanted to talk to him. His sense of irony wasn’t having the effect he wanted.
Like, keeping them away.
Sure, the majority of them meant well, while the minority wanted to get paid, but he was over it.
He was over it all.
A bottle of whiskey sat half empty on the table beside him. He hated the taste, but it made putting up with all her racket much, much easier.
Besides, he couldn’t get addicted to it like he could the drugs his docs had prescribed. Well, he could get addicted, but that wasn’t his point. He didn’t want to get addicted. He didn’t want to depend on drugs to get him through his day.
His bleary gaze caught a flash of light from the whiskey bottle. Yeah, yeah, he got his hypocrisy.
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