“I just need to grab my bag, tablet, phone charger and I’ll be ready to go,” I said to Barb as there was a knock on the front door. “Can you grab that? It’ll be Brody. He was at the doctor’s appointment with me.”
“I got it.” Drew tossed aside the TV remote and walked to the door. “Hey B! Hear you might be a dad today.”
“Honestly Drew, I hope not. As eager as I am to meet her, I hope she stays in there a few more weeks.” He looked over to me.
“You and me both,” I said climbing the stairs. I grabbed the overnight bag Jax packed for me a few weeks ago and threw in my tablet, chargers and my toothbrush and toothpaste.
As I came down the stairs, I heard Barb and Brody squabbling over who got to drive me to the hospital. “Okay, you two stop bickering like an old married couple. Brody, I called Barb to come pick me up. I’m sorry I should have told you to save you the trip, but I wasn’t really thinking.”
“It’s not like it’s that far out of the way,” he grumbled. “I get it. Really. You don’t want to upset Jax. Even though he’s not here.”
“Listen, I don’t wanna sound like a bitch, but I’m probably gonna. If you feel the need to be continually passive aggressive about Jax, then maybe you should stay here with Drew.” He started to say something, but I threw up my hand and didn’t let him. “I’m quite capable of taking care of myself and our daughter. I’ve been doing so since September.” His lips became a thin line. “And don’t worry, I’ll be sure to call you before I actually deliver. I wouldn’t dream of depriving you of seeing the daughter you didn’t want.”
I swiveled my head over to Barb who was standing with Drew, both wide-eyed in disbelief. “You ready?”
“Uh, yeah?” Barb picked up her purse and keys, then gave Brody a compassionate smile. She whispered something to Drew that I couldn’t make out, then followed me to the front door. I didn’t look back to see what Brody was doing. Frankly, I don’t give two shits right now.
Once we were in Barb’s Jeep she turned to me. “I don’t know about Brody, but you scared the shit out of me back there. What was that about?”
“I’ve warned him for weeks to lay off Jaxon. And I’m stressed out of my mind right now. I need support, not him being an asshat.” I clicked my seat belt into place and adjusted it to fit under my belly with a loud huff.
She pulled onto East Bay Street and quietly asked, “Have you talked to Jax today?”
“I called, but no answer. I left a message, but I wasn’t specific. Not the kind of thing I would want hear on a voicemail.”
“I’ll try Cole once we get to the hospital and get you settled in, okay?” she offered.
“Thanks Barb.” I looked over at her. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Back at ya beotch. Now, let’s get you to the hospital.”
A few minutes later we walked in the front doors of the hospital and checked in. After completing registration, we were sent upstairs to the fifth floor. It took about thirty minutes to get a room assigned and another fifteen before the nurse came in to get the monitors hooked up. Barb being Barb, beat her to it and had everything set up and already recording.
“Hi, Ms. Matthews, my name is Lucinda. Uh, did another nurse come in and admit you?” the nurse asked, visibly baffled.
Barb laughed quietly and raised her hand. “Me, it was me. I hooked up the TOCO, but that’s all.”
“We are both RNs over at Shock Trauma, not just two crazy chicks that stayed at a Holiday Inn,” I joked.
“Oh.” She laughed. “That’s cool. I bet that’s a stressful place to work.”
Great, she’s probably thinking the same thing I think when we have nurses or doctors as patients. Pain in the ass.
“Don’t worry, I’ll try my best to be a good patient, but I make no promises,” I warned as I shook my head.
“You’ll be fine.” She looked over at the computer screen and went through my medical history, allergies and birth plan.
Twenty minutes later, I was in an ugly blue gown, channel surfing while Barb was on the phone with Viper trying to relay information to give to Jaxon.
“According to Cole, he should be home later today. He had some meetings for that charity he’s a part of, after they finished the run in Tennessee.” Barb lay down next to me in the bed. “Anything good on TV?”
“Nah, just a bunch of daytime crap.”
“Have you decided on a name yet for my goddaughter?”
“Not really. Jax and I had it narrowed down, but nothing set in stone.” I yawned.
Barb climbed out of the bed. “You get some sleep and I’m gonna run to the cafeteria and get a quick bite to eat. You want anything?”
“Hmm.” I knitted my brow. “Actually, yeah. I’m starving and I’m sure I missed lunch here since it’s almost one thirty. Can you get me a cheeseburger and fries?”
“Of course my love.” She looked over at the electronic fetal monitor and picked up the trace print out. “Hey, uh, you feelin’ anything Lei?”
“Yeah, just a little cramping in my back. Why?” I tried looking over her shoulder.
“Huh?” She hesitated. “Oh, uh, just a few small contractions.” She said it like it was insignificant.
“How many is a few Barb? Let me see.” I pulled on her shoulder.
She turned and held the strip of paper out for me to see. “Only four over the last hour or so. No biggie.” She dropped the paper and headed for the door. “I’ll be back shortly. Try to get some rest.”
“’Kay.” I reclined the head of the bed, raised the foot and before too long, I dozed off.
When I woke I was lying on my side surrounded by fluffy pillows. Lifting my head, I looked around the dimly lit room to see Brody sitting in the oversized recliner with his tablet in his lap. Figures, he’s working.
“Where’s Barb?”
He bolted up. “Shit Lei, you startled me.”
“Sorry. Barb?”
“She’ll be back in a little while. She was gonna run and make some calls.” He walked over to the side of my bed. “She left you a burger and fries, but I’m sure it’s cold by now. You want me to have the nurse heat it up?”
“Yeah, would you?” I looked back to the pillows. “You do this?”
“What? The pillows?” I nodded. “Yeah. Well, I called Jane and she brought them over. I remember how much you loved the pillow on our, uh, my bed. Thought you’d like to be comfortable, seeing as you have to stay here.”
“That was sweet Brody, thanks.” I sat up and adjusted the bed. “Did Jane leave?” I wondered if she was still in the building. I wanted to see her.
“Yeah, she dropped them off about three o’clock.” He picked up the wrapped plate. “I’ll be right back.”
“All right.” I swung my feet around, slid them into my fuzzy pink slippers, disconnected the TOCO cords. Thankfully, Barb already put my stuff in here, so I didn’t have to deal with that.
“Leila?” Brody called from outside of the bathroom door. “You okay?”
I pulled the door open with my toothbrush hanging out my mouth. “Fine.”
“I set your food down on the tray. I have to run out and make a couple of phone calls. You need anything before I go?” he asked, swiping his finger up and down the screen of his phone.
“Nope.” I spit the mouthful of toothpaste suds into the sink and wiped my mouth off with the fluffy gray towel. What the…“Hey, uh, Brody, did Jane bring towels too?”
“Oh, yeah. Those other things were scratchy and stiff. I’ve seen sandpaper less abrasive. I didn’t think you’d mind.” He looked up from his phone momentarily.
“No, I don’t, but you don’t need to do all of this. I’m not staying. They’re only monitoring me,” I informed him as I swayed back over to the bed.
“Right, we’ll see what they say. I happened to see Dr. Rogers in the hallway. She said she’d be in to see you in a few minutes.” He went back to his phone with a wicked scowl crossing his face. “Damn i
t. Listen babe, I gotta call Sara, but I’m gonna be in the hall. I’ll come back once I see the doctor coming in.”
“Take your time. I’ll fill you in when ya get back.” I didn’t need him sitting here with me holding my hand. I did, however, want Jaxon there. I couldn’t believe he hadn’t called me back or shown up.
“Okay, thanks. Be right back.” Brody crossed the room in four long strides and left the door open on his way out.
I took a few bites of food and picked the tablet up off the bedside table and began reading. I needed to lose touch with reality for a little while.
Well, with my reality.
Chapter Twenty
~Leila~
Thirty minutes later there was a quiet knock followed by Dr. Rogers breezing into the room. “Hey Leila. How are things goin’ in here?”
“Good, just catching up on some reading.”
“I’m glad you’re relaxing. Let me just check the print out and”—she lifted the monitor trace from the EFM—“then we can talk.” She looked from the beginning of the recording to now. Concern swept across her face, but it was gone as fast as it appeared. “So have you been feeling anything?”
“Not really. A few Braxton-Hicks, but nothing painful. Why? What’s it show?” I was starting to worry. Barb only said she saw a few minor contractions.
“Well, you have been having contractions. Nothing too many like you said, but contractions none the less.” She dropped the unraveled scroll of paper. I watched as it fell weightlessly to the hardwood floor, kind of like my hope of getting out of here. “The good news is they are about twenty to twenty-five minutes apart and haven’t changed all day.” She swiped the screen of her tablet, tapped a few times, then began to type. “We can do one of two things. First option, get you up and have you start walking and see if your body wants to deliver. The second option is giving you magnesium sulfate and trying to stop the contractions. We can also give you dexamethasone to speed up lung development.”
“Uh, okay. Can I have a little while to think about this and talk it over?” I didn’t want to make this decision right this second and I needed to talk to Jax. But, I couldn’t talk it over with Jax because he wasn’t returning my calls or text.
“Of course. I’m going to finish my rounds and then I’ll stop back in about an hour or so.” She locked the tablet, cradled it under her arm and patted my leg on her way out the door.
I picked my phone up from the bed and called Jaxon. Again. And got voicemail. Again. I really didn’t want to leave this in a message, but I was out of options.
“Jax, it’s me. Listen, I didn’t want to do this over voicemail, but I don’t have a whole lot of choices right now. I’m in the hospital and I guess you could say I’m sort of in labor, well preterm labor. The doctor just left and I have to decide in the next hour if I want to get up and walk the halls to see if my body wants to have the baby now or if I want to lie in bed, get medicine to stop the contractions and get medicine to help speed up her lung development. I really need you here. I wouldn’t admit this to anyone else but…” I fought back tears to whisper, “I’m scared. I don’t…just…call me. Please.”
I hung up the phone and swore to myself that was the last message I would leave. Maybe he really was done. The thought of it really being over was unbearable. The physical pain in my chest was a sick reminder of his absence. I didn’t want to do this without him. He had become my rock and my soft place to land. We made all of these plans for our daughter. I didn’t want to believe that he was choosing to walk away from us, especially after everything I told him about my dad.
My pity party was interrupted when I heard Brody outside the door.
“So what’s the verdict?” He looked up from his phone. “Aw babe, you’re crying. What’s wrong? Is something wrong with the baby?” He was at my side in a flash, apprehension darkening his beautiful blue eyes.
“The baby is fine, I’m fine. I just”—I wiped my face with my index fingers and took a deep breath—“left a message for Jax.”
Grimacing, he asked, “What did the doctor say?” He sat down on the foot of the bed.
“She’s giving me two choices.” I told him what she said.
“So that’s why you called him.” I nodded. He quieted and I waited for the spiteful comments about Jaxon to start, but they didn’t. “I’d hope you were gonna include me in this decision, seeing as she’s my daughter too.” Surprisingly, he sounded nervous.
“Of course I am Brody. I didn’t have any intention of excluding you in any way. I hope you know that.” His shoulders relaxed. “It’s just…I mean Jax…ugh. I don’t know. I’m scared Brody and he always”—I shrugged—“knows exactly what to say to me.”
“What would he say?” he asked quietly.
“He would say, ‘Babe, it’s gonna be fine. I gotcha. I won’t let anything happen to either of my girls.’”
“God, I hope you don’t ever impersonate me,” he mocked.
I smiled. “It’s not that bad.” He cocked his head and winked. “Oh come on. It’s what he’d say. Don’t look at me like that.”
Brody sat on the end of the bed shaking his head. “Okay. Let’s talk about what you want to do. What are you thinking?”
“She’s not ready yet Brody. I need her to stay here.” I wrapped my arms around my belly. “I’m not ready to share her with the rest of the world yet.”
“Babe, I get that. I want her to wait another month or so too,” he agreed. “So, we tell the doctor to give you the medicine to stop the contractions and the other to speed up her development,” he said as he held my hand.
“Did Barb say when she’d be back?” I picked my phone up. “I really thought she’d be back by now.”
He looked down at his watch. “Huh, she said she’d be back around six and it’s almost quarter of seven. Why don’t you call her and see where she’s at?”
“Maybe after Dr. Rogers comes back in.” I wondered what was keeping Barb. It wasn’t like her to be late. Then again, I was asleep when she left; she might’ve thought I needed to sleep, but still she would’ve called. I took a few more bites of the burger and looked around for a drink. “Hey, did she bring me a drink?”
“I don’t think so, just the food. You thirsty? There is wat—”
“I’d rather grab a soda from the nurse at the station.” I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Before I could disconnect the monitors, Brody was at my side taking the wires out of my hand.
“Sit down.” He swung his head toward the bed. “Why must you be so damn stubborn? I’m right here,” he huffed. “I can go ask for a soda. Lei. You need to start letting me help you. You don’t have to do everything alone.” He helped me back into bed and disappeared out the door.
I am doing everything alone. Jax isn’t here, so I am alone.
Sure, Brody was here now, but it was only a matter of time before work called or he got freaked out again and ran for the hills.
“Here, I got you a ginger ale.” He carried in the can of soda and a white Styrofoam cup.
“Thank you. Did you see Dr. Rogers out there?”
“Nah, it’s pretty quiet right now. Have any more contractions?”
“Well, according to the monitor, yes, but I don’t really feel them. I mean, I’ve got some cramps in my back, but nothing I can’t handle.” Just as I bragged I was hit with a pretty decent contraction.
“Ahhhh,” I groaned and pushed my palm into my side. I turned away from Brody and took a few slow deep breaths.
“Uh, what can I do Lei?” he asked. “I don’t know what to do.”
It lasted about fifty seconds and wasn’t too bad. It definitely caught me off guard, but I’d be prepared for the next one.
“You okay now?” I rolled back to see him looking at the monitor. “So that spike on the line was the contraction?” He pointed to the EFM screen.
“Yep. Sorry, that one surprised me. None of the others hurt.” I rolled onto my back and sat up a little. �
��Just some back cramps.”
Brody dropped the handrail at the head of the bed. “Scoot up.”
“Huh?”
“Slide your ass to the middle of the bed.” He pointed to where he wanted me to move. Begrudgingly, I obeyed and sat cross-legged on the bed. He slid in behind me and started kneading and rubbing my lower back and hips.
“Ooh, oh God that feels good,” I moaned in relief. “Damn, that’s it. Little higher…ahh, right there. I swear she has her foot between my ribs.”
I grabbed a couple of the fluffy down pillows Jane had dropped off and hugged them, rolling forward to give Brody better access to my lower back.
While he was massaging the tension away, Dr. Rogers strolled in. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, she just had a bit of a contraction,” Brody explained as he stood up from the bed.
“Hey.” I whipped my head around. “Why’d you stop? That felt good.”
“Leila, have you had a chance to talk everything over and make a decision?” She laid the tablet down on the counter and pulled up the stool.
“Yeah. I want to try the medicines. We want to give her as much time in there as possible.” I looked over to Brody who gave me a supportive nod.
“Sounds good. You do understand this is not a guarantee? You could continue to progress in your labor.” She pulled the tablet into her lap and started typing.
“Yeah, I understand.” I nodded slowly.
“So, we will do the initial dose of magnesium sulfate, then set up the maintenance dose to be given once an hour. The nurse will come in and give the IM injection of the dexamethasone and then again in twelve hours. I’ll check back on you in the morning.” She continued typing, then looked up at Brody and me. “Any questions?”
“How long will she need to stay here?” Brody asked as if he was reading my mind.
“At least until tomorrow afternoon. That’s if the medicine works. Best case scenario, it stops them completely by tomorrow morning. Then we’ll monitor you for a few more hours. If you have no more contractions, then you go home.” She set the tablet down and continued explaining. “Worst case, the medicine only slows down labor, allowing the dex time to work on the baby’s lungs. Some cases, this just prolongs the inevitable. If that is the case, then I would like to keep you on the magnesium sulfate until Wednesday or Thursday and give the dex at least forty-eight hours to be as effective as possible.”
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