by Grey, R. S.
This time apart shouldn’t have changed him all that much, but it’s like I forgot the effect he has on me. His tall, lean body sheathed in jeans and a blue sweater. His easygoing, smooth confidence. His sculpted cheekbones and matching pair of dimples.
He could break my heart with a single word.
WRONG.
He used to be capable of that, but not anymore.
I’ve changed too. A lot.
I just have to keep telling myself that until it rings true.
As a group, we stroll down the heated sidewalks on our way to the gondola. James and Jolie are telling us about Vail and all the different walking trails and shops we should visit while we’re in town. I’m actually happy for the distraction. I can halfway convince myself I’m focused on what they’re talking about instead of giving in to the urge to glance in front of me.
Aiden is walking up ahead, carrying Ford on his shoulders. He stops and dips down quickly, eliciting a slew of giggles from my nephew. I scowl and focus extra hard on the explanation of the restaurant James loves.
“Is everything okay?” Brent leans in to ask me.
I give him a hearty nod. “Peachy.”
Brent.
I cannot focus on Brent at a time like this. I have enough on my plate as is, and if I start to unravel that spool of thread, I’m worried I won’t be able to stop.
Aiden turns around to face the group, his cheeks and nose adorably red from the chill.
My heart sputters and then I clamp down on it with an iron fist.
Any love I might have had for him has to go away—for good.
I want it to sour and spoil, so I tell myself I despise him. The dimples, the hair, the personality…all of it.
I want to reach down to form a snowball in my hand, compact it really tight, and chuck it right at his face. Oh that would feel good.
“There’s the gondola,” James says, pointing ahead. “You guys can go ahead and get in line. I’ll go into the store there and buy our tickets.”
It’s the holiday season, only a few days shy of Christmas, so Vail is full of families trying to take advantage of the ski town. The slopes are packed, and the wait for the gondola will be a while.
“Don’t worry, there’s a great restaurant up top where we can get a drink and something small to eat, just to make the trip up worth it,” Jolie says, taking a fussy Ford back from Aiden.
“I’ve heard the views are amazing,” I say.
“I’m surprised you’re willing to go up and see them. I thought you were afraid of heights,” Aiden says.
“Really? You are?” Brent asks.
I jut out my chin and shake my head. “No.”
I am. Deathly.
But I’ve been too preoccupied with Aiden to let my fear fester. Unfortunately, now that we’re in line and I can see the enclosed lifts up ahead, filling with people and then whisking them high up the mountain, I feel a little woozy. There will only be a tiny guide wire between me and my imminent demise. What’s not to love?!
“Line’s moving,” someone says.
I can’t take my eyes off the gondola.
“Move it, lady!” says some snot-nosed kid with a snowboard.
Oh, right. I’m holding everyone up.
I move forward—one step closer to death—and catch Aiden asking Brent a question about whether he enjoys skiing.
“No, growing up in Texas, I never really had the chance.” Brent laughs. “Doesn’t snow much in Austin.”
I can’t even concentrate on the fact that they shouldn’t be talking. I do not need them becoming chummy-chummy with each other.
My hands get clammy in my gloves. The line is moving much faster than I thought it would. James joins us with the tickets and hands me one. I take it and step forward.
Some teenagers are in front of me, laughing.
I lean toward them. “Hey, have y’all done this before?”
They frown, confused about what I’m referring to.
“Snowboarding? Yeah.”
“No. The gondola,” I say, pointing to it.
“Uh, hundreds of times,” one of the guys says with a laugh.
“So it’s not as high as it looks?” I venture, praying they’ll be able to talk me out of my fear.
“No, it’s really high. And it sways on windy days like this—feels like you’re going to fall at any minute.”
I gulp down some vomit trying to rise up my throat.
“Okay, cool,” I say, nodding as the line moves forward again.
The cabins are pretty huge, so we’ll all be able to sit together. Thank god.
Soon enough, it’s our turn to go. Not wanting to alert the others to my panic, I step up confidently and take a seat in the waiting gondola before realizing the row of seats across from me is blocked off with yellow tape.
“This one can only fit three,” a crew member says.
There’s no time to reconfigure the groups because the gondola technically never stops moving. It’s like an escalator, constantly in motion, so Aiden and Brent hop on with me, and James, Jolie, and Ford wait for the next one.
Aiden takes the seat beside me and Brent sits beside him.
I can’t even worry about the seating arrangement because already the ground is disappearing from underneath my feet.
OH MY GOD.
Everything is glass. This thing is held together by steel toothpicks, and now I realize what Ron Burgundy meant in Anchorman when he shouted, I’m in a glass case of emotion!
I look down, and the earth slips away little by little. We sweep over white snow and the tops of trees. Ten feet. Twenty. More. I squeeze my eyes shut—but that makes it worse, because without that sense, I’m too aware of the subtle rocking effect. Back and forth we glide, and suddenly I’m demanding that I get out.
“Maddie, look at me,” Aiden insists.
“I can’t.”
“Hey, yes you can. We’re already halfway done. Look at me.”
I peel my eyes open to see Aiden crouched in front of me, his eyes level with mine. His hands are on my legs, squeezing my thighs through my jeans.
His green eyes are all I see.
“You’re okay,” he assures me.
“I want to get out,” I plead again, darting a quick glance to my left. My stomach drops when I see how high up we are now. “I can’t believe I thought I could do this. I can’t. It was a horrible idea and I’d like this torture ride to end now.”
“It’s just a gondola,” Brent says, and I pierce him with my gaze.
OH THANK YOU, BRENT, I DID NOT REALIZE IT WAS JUST A GONDOLA. ALL OF MY FEARS ARE ASSUAGED.
“Hey,” Aiden says, bringing my attention back to him. “Remember that time we went to Serranos in Austin and I dared you to eat the serrano pepper they bring out with the fajitas?”
The memory instantly makes me smile.
“I did it.”
“Yeah, you did it—and it was super hot. You kept saying your mouth was on fire, so they had to bring you a glass of milk. When I made you laugh, the milk came out of your nose.”
I’m laughing now, remembering it. I was so embarrassed I wouldn’t let our waiter clean up the mess; I did it myself.
There’s a heavy clink of metal from above us and then we’re swept into the unloading zone. Aiden takes my mittened hand firmly in his and tugs me out of the cabin after him.
The moment I’m back on solid ground, I breathe a sigh of relief and extricate my hand from his. He stands near me, trying to catch my gaze, but I turn back in time to watch my sister step out of the next cabin with Ford and James.
“Oh my gosh!” Jolie says. “Weren’t the views amazing?!”
Aiden doesn’t say a word about my freak-out as I head over to grab Ford. It’s nice having him here both because he’s a cute baby and because he’s a good distraction from the others.
We turn to head toward the top of the mountain. It’s more developed than I was expecting considering how high up we are. There’re a few overlooks where you ca
n pose for photos. Skiers and snowboarders head off in one direction, toward the start of the slopes, and everyone else heads toward the main complex that houses a cluster of restaurants and shops.
Before we go inside, Jolie insists we all walk over to one of the lookouts so we can pose for a photo.
“Everyone smile!” she prompts, after handing her phone off to a kind tourist who volunteered to take the picture of us.
I stand beside Brent, holding Ford, and I smile as big as I can, wondering how long it will take Aiden to realize I’m a total fraud and a liar, liar, pants on fire.
Chapter Thirteen
Aiden
Maddie needed me on the gondola, and I was there for her. Now that we’re on the top of the mountain and she’s no longer so scared she can’t see straight, I’ve gone back to being invisible. I could whip off my jacket and pants and run around butt naked in the snow and I doubt she’d bat an eyelash.
I find it interesting that we’re playing this game. I figured she’d bring me back into the fold as soon as we were reunited and Brent would get kicked to the curb.
I was wrong.
They pose together for a picture in front of the snowy mountain backdrop, and Jolie insists they scoot in closer together. Brent wraps his arm around Maddie’s waist and tugs her toward him. She laughs, and I roll my eyes.
This is getting out of hand. I need information. They can’t be serious or I would have heard about them through the grapevine. My brother would have let something slip about Maddie being in a relationship, so that means this is new. New is good. New is easily destructible. One flick of the finger and they’ll topple over like a house of cards.
Huh. I had no clue I was such a diabolical villain.
After they’re done posing, I scoot in next to Brent as we head inside, toward the restaurant.
“Where did you say you and Maddie met?”
His eyes shift over to her as if looking for backup, but she’s busy with Ford. He’s on his own with me.
“Oh, through friends.”
“Romantic.”
He laughs awkwardly.
“And you two hit it off pretty quick?”
He starts to fiddle with his gloves, tugging them up higher. They’re just fine where they are. He’s nervous. He doesn’t like me examining their relationship too closely.
Why?
“Yeah, I mean it was pretty quick. She’s exactly my type.”
“How so?”
He frowns, obviously taken aback by my hard line of questioning.
I laugh and clap him on the back, hard. “I’ve known Maddie a while—you’ll forgive me for wanting to cover all the bases. She doesn’t have a big brother, so I doubt anyone’s really looked you over with a fine-tooth comb.”
He noticeably gulps.
“You and Maddie are close?” he asks, his voice a little wobblier now.
“Very. Now tell me, what is it about her that you find attractive?”
“Well…her. I mean, she’s gorgeous.”
“Beauty’s only skin deep, Brent. Are you only with Maddie because of her looks?” I sound deeply disappointed in him.
His eyes widen in fear. “No. That’s not what I was saying. I just—”
“Just what?”
“I also think she’s really funny.”
“And?”
“Kind.”
“Funny and kind.” I nod. “Tell me about your first date.”
“First date?” He laughs. “God…that was…”
“Was?” I prod him.
“A good time,” he says with a tight smile.
He hates me and is trying to make that clear, but I couldn’t care less.
Up ahead is the entrance to the restaurant. Soon we’ll be at a table with everyone and I’ll have to mind my manners. Unfortunately.
“Where’d you take her?”
“To the, umm…”
He has to think about it for a while.
Does this guy have a shit memory, or does he just go on so many dates he can’t keep them straight?
“Bowling,” he says, sounding as if he’s settling on the idea.
“Bowling. Really? Who won?”
His cheeks are bright red now, and it’s not just from the chill. “Maddie.”
I think he’s lying. One, because he keeps fidgeting with those damn gloves, and two, because Maddie is absolutely shit at bowling. She once let a ball fly off her hand too early and it landed back in our plate of nachos.
“Remember the scores?”
“No.” He chuckles. “Why would I remember—”
“What are you two talking about?” Maddie asks, finally rushing to catch up to us. She shoots me an accusing glare as if I’m doing something wrong by talking to Brent.
I respond with an easygoing smile. “Brent was telling me about bowling.”
Her face contorts into a mask of confusion.
“You know…your first date,” I remind her.
Her confusion disappears at the snap of a finger and she quickly nods. “Yeah, that was so fun! Brent kicked my butt though.”
Brent’s eyes widen, trying to alert her to something.
I know we’re up on a snowy mountain, but I smell something fishy.
“No, baby. Remember, you won,” Brent says teasingly.
Maddie thunks her forehead with her hand as if to say, Duh. “That’s right. Now I remember. I was on fire that night.”
“How long ago was this?”
Neither of them answers. Instead, Maddie grabs Brent’s arm and squeezes. “I’m starving. Aren’t you? Let’s hurry inside so we can order some appetizers.”
Then she starts tugging him away from me at top speed as if we’re not all going to the same place. I see them whispering to one another, complicit in a plan I’m not a part of.
I know Maddie is worried I’m going to scare Brent away—and she’s right to worry. That’s exactly my plan. But c’mon, I can sit at a table with the group and participate in civil conversation. I can drink spiked hot chocolate and scoop up my portion of the appetizers without contemplating whether or not I’d like to cause Brent some kind of bodily harm. Don’t worry, it wouldn’t be anything long-lasting, just something that would force him to be carried down the mountain in a stretcher.
“How’s New York treating you, Aiden?”
This question comes from Jolie. She’s trying to draw me into the conversation because I’ve been sitting in silence like a miserable asshole for the last half hour.
“It’s good.”
“And work?”
“Busy as ever,” I say with a tight smile.
“Where do you work?” Brent asks, trying to get to know me.
“The New York Times,” Maddie supplies.
Brent’s eyes widen with appreciation. “Wow, that’s really cool.”
“It’s taken him all over the world,” my brother adds proudly. “Where were you last month, Aiden?”
“Dubai.”
“What were you doing there?” Brent asks.
“Writing up a story about the Burj Jumeira.”
“Is that the one that’ll be the new tallest skyscraper in the world?” James asks.
“Exactly.”
“What an awesome job,” Brent notes enthusiastically.
“Yup. Awesome indeed,” Maddie adds, sounding slightly bitter.
I frown, trying to catch her eye, but she won’t look my way.
“Can you pass me the salt?” she asks, pointing to where it sits in front of Jolie.
“How’s your work, Maddie?” I ask.
Her eyes flit up to me and it’s like ZAP, a bolt of lightning strikes me when our gazes meet. Then, just as quickly, she looks down at her drink. “It’s fine.”
“Don’t be shy,” her sister teases. “Have you told Aiden about your new position with Elise?”
“What position?”
“It’s nothing,” Maddie says, rushing to put an end to the subject.
Jolie huffs out a
breath of air and turns her attention on me. “Maddie is Elise’s right-hand woman. She assists with campaigns and is working more in the creative department now. No more admin stuff. Just a few weeks ago she was up in New York with Elise helping shoot an advertising campaign for an Austin brand that’s expanding north.”
“You were in New York?” I ask, dumbfounded.
What the fuck?
Why wouldn’t she have told me?
Her brows pinch together and she glances up, looking at a spot just over my shoulder as if that’s as close as she wants to get to meeting my gaze. “It was only for a few days. I worked the whole time.”
Silence blankets the table. I catch my brother and Jolie exchanging a quick glance. Brent busies himself by grabbing another piece of bread, and Ford sucks on a teething toy.
We’re saved by the waiter coming over to give us the check.
I’m in a foul mood as we leave the restaurant.
Jolie and James insist we take in more of the scenery before we head back down, but I can’t get into the winter spirit.
Eventually the group has had their fill of the top of the mountain and we head toward the gondola. I’m at the end of the line. Maddie is up ahead smiling at Brent. My heart is a raging angry thing. I can’t believe she came to New York and didn’t let me know. We could have seen each other. We could have talked.
The line moves and Maddie’s gaze darts to the enclosed cabins like she’s making sure they’re still there, ready to eat her alive.
The group is about to step onto one all together, and before I fully comprehend what I’m doing, I charge forward and grab her arm, keeping her from getting on.
“You guys go ahead,” I tell the others.
No one can argue because the gondola is already sweeping them away.
Maddie whips around with a fierce scowl in place. “What’d you do that for?”
“Are you guys getting on?” the attendant asks us.
We’re holding up the line.
“Sure,” I say, keeping hold of her arm and leading her into the next cabin.
Either they don’t group strangers together or they can sense that we’re about to get into it, because the attendant doesn’t usher anyone on after us.
We’re on our own with nowhere to go.
Maddie looks panicked, and I don’t think it’s because of her fear of heights. In fact, I know it’s not, because instead of meekly taking a seat, she rips her arm out of my grasp and walks as far away from me as possible. She hits a dead end at the other side. A glass wall separates her from the mountainside. She shivers and turns around, arms crossed.
