by Grey, R. S.
A waiter passes near us, and Nate asks him if he can borrow a pen really quick. With it in hand, he turns the card over and jots another phone number onto the back.
“This is my personal line. I don’t give it out all that often.”
“Gotcha. I’ll make sure to pass it on to my sister and her husband.” His brown gaze locks with mine like he’s panicked by the thought, and I laugh. “I’m kidding. I promise to guard it with my life, how about that?”
He grins and gives the waiter his pen back before holding out the card for me to take.
“I don’t usually…”
I know what he’s about to say.
“Neither do I, honestly.”
He looks relieved.
“It’s the dress, I think,” he says, glancing down at my outfit.
“It’s pretty distracting,” I assure him, throwing his word back at him.
He laughs and steps back, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “You’ll call?”
“Yes.”
He nods, and then he turns to head to his family.
I stand there in the alcove, watching him walk away, wondering why I feel sick to my stomach.
I have his card in my hand, and I glance down to flip it over and look at the front.
Nathaniel Giddings
CEO Giddings Biosciences
An eligible bachelor if there ever was one.
Chapter Eighteen
Maddie
“Well, what did he say?” Jolie asks as soon as I sit back down.
I have Nate’s card tucked into my hand, invisible. I don’t want to make a show of putting it into my purse, and I don’t want to lay it on the table either. Instead, it sits in my hand like a ticking time bomb.
I peer up at Aiden to see him watching me. He knows. His mouth is tugged into a thin line. His cheekbones look severe. His eyes cast disappointment across the table.
“Maddie—don’t leave us in suspense here,” Jolie says with a laugh. “Did he give you his number or anything?”
“Yes.” I reach down for my purse and slide the business card in as quickly as possible. My cheeks are aflame.
Jolie squeals with delight. “I knew it. I just knew there was a good guy for you waiting right around the corner. You’ve had such terrible luck in the dating department the last few years, and then with Brent leaving like that—”
“Are you going to call him?” Aiden asks, rudely cutting her off.
I flick my gaze to him quickly to find his expression hasn’t softened.
I tilt my chin up and shrug. “Yeah, maybe.”
“And say what exactly?”
My jaw locks in anger. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll ask him out for a drink.”
“Why? Doesn’t he live here? In Colorado?”
“So?”
Aiden laughs and leans back in his chair, tossing his napkin onto the table. “All right. I’ll just say it. It’s bullshit.”
Jolie and James flinch at the sound of his harsh words.
“Aiden,” James chides quietly. “What’s gotten into you?”
He ignores his brother in favor of continuing our very public, very inappropriate argument. “You’re the same person you were when I left Texas.”
“Oh please, enlighten me,” I respond with a taunting tone. “I’d love to hear your interpretation of who you think I am. You, the person I haven’t even spoken to in over a year. You think you know me?”
He laughs, and it comes out sounding downright evil.
“Of course I know you. You’re Maddie, the girl who will run from her feelings every chance she gets. Oh, a new guy at the bar? Someone else to distract you from the truth? Great. You’ll date him for a few months, string him along, and then break it off before things get too serious.”
I’m seeing red. My fingers bite into the edge of the table, a poor attempt to keep my hands occupied. Otherwise, I’d reach for my butter knife so I could fling it at him.
“You use men to mask the real truth,” he continues.
“Fuck you, Aiden Smith.”
The words come out nice and slow, and oh, do they feel good to say aloud.
My sister gasps in horror, reaching over to pick up Ford, who’s now crying thanks to our immature outburst.
Aiden stands and drops his hands to the table so he can lean toward me. “I see through you, Maddie.”
I laugh caustically. “Yeah? Where was all this knowledge last year? Suddenly you have everything figured out, but you didn’t back then. No. In fact, I think that’s what this is really about. You’re taking your anger out on the wrong person, Aiden. It’s you who messed up. It’s you who moved away when you should have stayed. You think I’m going to welcome you back with open arms? You think you can spout out some bullshit about wanting me and suddenly everything will fall right back into place for you?”
Our waiter is at our table now, trying to get our attention. “Uh, excuse me. I’m sorry. Could I…just…the other guests have noticed a disturbance.”
My sister is crying now. She and Ford compete for the loudest sobs.
We’ve completely ruined the evening for not only our own table, but the tables near ours too.
Just great.
I stand and grab my purse, but before I walk away, I can’t help but throw one more taunt his way. “Wonderful job.”
I’m barely halfway to the door when I feel him in my wake.
He’s not going to leave well enough alone, and that’s fine. I have a lot of anger built up inside of me. I could continue this all evening.
We both storm through the main dining room, back toward the host stand, neck and neck as we reach the front entrance.
I get to the door first, and there’s no waiting for the attendant to rush forward and hold it open for me. I slam my hand against it and fling it open as cold air blasts me in the face. I grimace in anger.
Over loudspeakers, Christmas music plays a jarringly merry backdrop to our current standoff.
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer…
Aiden hisses as the cold air hits him next. I don’t wait around for him to regain his senses. I start to head for home.
This was a mistake.
Coming here. Seeing Aiden again.
I should have stayed in Texas.
I should have spent the holidays by myself. I should have heated up a pot pie in the microwave, turned on the Hallmark Channel, and called it a day.
Aiden and I stomp down the street, close enough that we’re feeding off of each other’s negative energy but far enough away that I couldn’t reach out and push him into a snowbank if I wanted to. Ah, wouldn’t that be nice.
In fact…
I stop dead in my tracks, bend down, and start forming snow into a compact ball.
My hands are freezing. My legs are freezing. My freaking face is freezing, but what do I care? I have a war to win.
I finish making the snowball as Aiden stops near me.
“What are you doing?” he asks, just before I turn and launch it right at him.
My aim is off.
I miss him by a good two feet, but what do I care? It’s Colorado—snow abounds. I have so much ammunition at my fingertips.
“You’re insane,” Aiden says, sounding almost amused as I bend down to form a second snowball.
“Yes, and you’re insufferable!”
I don’t take my time with the second projectile. I fling it at him as soon as I have a solid handful of snow. This time, it slams into his chest. A mess of white flurries covers his shirt and jacket.
He looks down slowly, comically. Like he’s in utter disbelief that I actually hit him.
“What the—”
He doesn’t get the rest of the sentence out because I’m throwing more snow at him. He really needs to catch up. I’m winning this snowball fight handily.
“Maddie! Can I just—”
“What? What could you possibly have to say that you haven’t already?!”
I’m so close to hi
m now, and it’s out of necessity. I want to ensure every last throw hits its mark.
He reaches out and tries to grab hold of me, but I evade him like some kind of super assassin.
More snow rains down on him and, with a growl, he finally bends down to form his own snowball.
He glances up at me with a wild glint in his eye, and panic spikes my blood.
Aiden is officially entering the fight.
Oh shit.
I turn and run like my life depends on it, which isn’t all that easy because I’m wearing heels and a short dress. My entire body has gone numb from the cold.
I’m expecting a snowball to collide into my back at any moment. With Aiden’s strength, it’ll take me down and I’ll perish on the sidewalk in the middle of Vail Village. I zigzag back and forth, trying to make it harder for him to take aim, but I was mistaken. Aiden was never going to throw that snowball at me. No.
He catches me and wraps his arm around my middle, bringing me clear off the ground as he holds me against him.
He waves the snowball in front of me like he’s wielding a dagger. It’s a warning: Be good, or else.
“This whole fight is ridiculous,” he says.
His warm breath sends a cascade of goose bumps down my back.
I try to wriggle free of his grip. “You’re the one who started it. Couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut at dinner?”
“And let you talk about Nate as if there’s any possibility that you actually have feelings for him?”
“I might!” I insist defiantly.
“Maddie.”
It sounds like it pains him to speak my name.
He drops the snowball on the ground and it crumbles at my feet.
I think he’ll let me go too, but he doesn’t.
He tightens both arms around my waist, hugging me from behind.
“Please.”
The word squeezes my heart, and I pinch my eyes closed.
“Let me try to fix this.”
Chapter Nineteen
Aiden
I hold Maddie tight against me, perfectly still as it starts to snow.
I can’t even feel the cold, not with my heart beating a mile a minute, but Maddie is far less clothed than I am and I worry she’ll start to feel the effects of being out here too long if I don’t get us home quickly.
I need to get her out of the elements. She doesn’t even have a jacket on; I slip mine off and wrap it around her shoulders. For an instant, I worry she’ll refuse it, but instead, she tightens it around herself as I start to lead her back to the house.
“This isn’t surrender,” she says, maintaining her hard facade as she lets me take her hand and cross the street.
It’s a short trek home, only a few more yards and we’re at the door of the house. A quick look at the driveway confirms James and Jolie aren’t home yet. No doubt they’re picking up the pieces at the restaurant. I don’t even want to think about what I’ll say to them when they get home.
With my spare key, I unlock the door and let us into the house. I don’t drop hold of Maddie’s hand even when we’re in the foyer.
“My shoes,” she says, tugging me back.
I glance down to see her feet are covered in wet soggy snow.
I bend down to help her slip off her heels before kicking my boots off as well. Her skin is frozen over. She’s more icicle than person at this point, so without a word, I stand and push her in the direction of our shared bathroom.
She lets me lead her, but I get the impression that at any moment, she’ll gather her strength again. I’m sitting in the eye of the storm, and I’d be wise to remember that.
The shower isn’t nearly big enough for the both of us. She needs the hot water more than I do, so I turn the faucet on then turn back to see her looking at me with guarded eyes.
The fight hasn’t completely burned off yet.
She’s gripping those last vestiges of anger with both hands.
“Turn around and I’ll unzip you,” I say, twisting my finger in a circle so she gets the idea.
“I can do it myself. I zipped myself into this dress—I can get myself out of it.”
She lets go of my jacket and folds it before setting it on the bathroom counter.
I wasn’t sure of my plan when I led her in here, but suddenly, I don’t so much care how small the shower is. I reach for the hem of my shirt and yank it off in one smooth motion.
Maddie’s mouth hangs open.
“I thought you could undress by yourself,” I taunt.
Her eyes narrow.
“I can…when you leave.”
I shrug nonchalantly. “I need a warm shower. So do you. Two birds, one stone.”
She huffs. “If you think I’m going to get in that shower with you, you’ve completely lost your mind. What part of tonight is lost on you? How many times do I have to throw a snowball at your face before—”
Her words are cut off as I haul her up off the ground and carry her into the shower, clothes and all.
She sputters as water pours over her. I put her down right under the stream and yank the glass door closed behind us. If I had a lock, I’d use it.
As it is, I position myself so she’ll have to go through me if she wants to flee.
“My dress!” she groans, looking down at the red silky fabric now pasted to her skin.
“Should have taken it off,” I reply without an ounce of remorse.
Her eyes flare up to meet mine. They’re narrowed into little slits as she steps toward me. She holds up her hands, fisting them into tight balls. I think if I had my shirt on, she’d grab me by the collar and twist.
“Let me out,” she demands.
“No.”
Her fists pound against my chest. “Let me out!”
“No.”
Her anger morphs as I watch, breaking down, dissolving, splintering into parts visible in her anguished expression: sadness, annoyance, fear.
When she speaks again, it’s with a half-concealed sob. “Let me out, Aiden.”
I grab her around the waist and bring her flush against me. We’re sopping wet and warm now that we’re in the shower together. Still, her touch is ice cold as she wraps her arms around my middle and digs her fingers into my back.
Her head falls against my chest and she rocks her forehead back and forth, like she’s shaking her head no.
I let my head fall into the crook of her neck as I wrap my arms tighter around her.
It feels like I can’t get her close enough. I want her inside me, part of me.
She’s crying now, but I can barely hear her. Her quiet tears are worse than outright sobs, and my heart fucking breaks. I flatten my hand against her back and drag it up to cup the back of her neck. I want her to look at me, want her to say something.
When she finally does, it hurts.
“I want to hate you so badly.”
Her words are a bullet to the heart.
It feels too late, like nothing I say now will have any effect on her.
“No,” I whisper.
“I want to,” she says again, her voice faltering.
“Please don’t.”
She lifts her head to look at me, her sad eyes brimming over with tears.
“You left me and went to New York City.”
“You didn’t ask me to stay.”
“You didn’t want to stay.”
“I did, but I knew I had to get away. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought…” I shake my head. “I tried to tell you how I felt, over and over again. I thought I was showing you my feelings, but you didn’t want to hear them. You never wanted to talk about us being together.”
“Because I was in love with you!” she shouts. “Desperately! Horribly! I loved you in the worst way.”
Her words reverberate in the glass-walled shower, shocking me into action.
I bend down and capture her lips quickly, before thought or reason or motives or consequences can weasel their way into a perfect moment
.
It’s the kiss of a lifetime. The kiss I’ve wanted for years. A kiss that comes right after the truth.
I love you too, Maddie.
I loved you then and I love you now.
I tilt my head and kiss her harder, grasping her with everything I have.
How is it possible for two people to be in love, circling around and around one another, neither one of them clued in to the fact that the other person feels the exact same way? The more I loved her, the lonelier I felt. The harder I fell, the scarier it was to admit my feelings. I tried to make subtle hints, to flirt in an overt way that she couldn’t misconstrue, but what she said at dinner was true. I am angry at myself.
All this time…lost.
Look at us.
We’ve killed ourselves over a misunderstanding.
We’ve loved in isolation.
We’re starved, and this kiss is so overdue it hurts.
Maddie’s nails scrape my back as she arches up onto her toes and presses herself against me. I take one of her legs and wrap it around my hip, using it to hoist her up off the ground. Backing her up against the wall makes it easier for me to leverage myself against her, to seal our lips together as my hands explore her body. I yank on the straps of her dress. They’re wet and stuck to her skin, obstinate. I tug harder, and one tears free.
Maddie doesn’t notice. Her hands skate around my waist, coming around to the front to work on the button of my jeans. It’s not easy. She’s in her own way, but I’m not dropping her. We’re fumbling and impatient. Her hands are clumsy and soft and exactly what I’ve wanted on my body for the last few years.
Years.
God. I’ve wanted her for years and I still don’t have her.
I have her in this shower and that’s it.
I feel crazed as I whisper her name and tug her dress down her chest. I unhook her bra, and she helps me take it off. It falls to the tile at our feet. My hands cup each breast, covering them until a heavy moan escapes her. I kiss her again, wanting more. I could tease and lick and kiss her all day, but I’m burning up inside and so is she.
She tightens her legs around my hips, rolling them against my hard length still encased in wet denim. A curse escapes me as she glides her hand underneath my waistline, cupping me.
