But it’s true. That kiss with Eden was everything.
She chews on her pinkie nail. “You really think so?”
“Oh hell yeah, did you see that knowing look on your brother’s face?” I kick the recliner into place and rise from the chair, then stretch my arms above my head, my spine giving a satisfying crack. “I’m sure he suspects something’s going on between us.”
“Oh my God.” She sounds panicked. “What should we do?”
“We don’t have to do anything.” Because nothing’s really happened yet, I want to say, but don’t. That one kiss rocked my world, but we don’t need to tell anyone our private business.
I’d rather keep this between us. At least for a little while.
“Yeah, okay. You’re right.” She exhales slowly, staring down at the floor. “It’s no big deal.”
But it was a big deal to me. I can’t deny that. So she can go ahead and say what she needs to convince herself that everything’s going to be all right. That our friendship won’t become royally screwed if we end up getting together only for everything to fall apart.
Without another word, I go stand in front of the couch and hold out my hand to Eden. She takes it and I pull her to her feet, then pull her into my arms. She leans into me, her face pressed against my chest, her soft hair brushing my jaw. I close my eyes and just hold her, savoring the feeling of her in my arms, taking advantage of the moment. I don’t think I’ve ever held her this close for this long before. Her arms sneak around my waist, and she runs her hands up and down my back while I lean my head on top of hers. She’s short. I’m a full head taller than she is, yet somehow we fit together like two pieces in a puzzle.
“I should probably go home,” I whisper against her hair.
“Yeah?” Her voice is muffled against my chest.
“It’s late.”
“Not too late.”
I’m quiet for a moment, thinking. “What time is it?”
“Around eleven.”
Mom doesn’t even have a curfew on me anymore. Most of the time, she’s not home, especially on a Saturday night. She’s always over at her boyfriend’s house, leaving me on my own.
“I can stay for a while if you want me to.”
Eden lifts her head away from my chest, our gazes meeting. “You should stay for a little bit longer.”
“Okay.” I just agreed way too quick, probably sound too eager, but Eden doesn’t even notice. I think she’s glad I want to stay.
“Maybe we can watch TV in…” Her voice drifts and her gaze drops from mine. “In my room.”
My entire body tightens. Is she suggesting what I think she is? “You sure?”
She nods and lifts her head, a little smile curving her lips. “Yeah.”
“Then let’s do it,” I murmur just before I kiss her.
I’m guessing those words have more than one meaning tonight.
Chapter Fourteen
Josh
“What’s going on? Why do you look so spooked?”
These are the first words Abraham says to me when I arrive on campus the Monday after Thanksgiving break. And yeah, I’m feeling pretty spooked, but I don’t need to get called out on it, you know? That makes me feel even sketchier.
“Rough weekend,” I tell him as I head straight for my locker.
Abraham follows me. “Are you serious? You hooked up with Whitney Gregory, and you call that a rough weekend? What the hell is wrong with you?”
That’s right. I didn’t talk to Abraham so he doesn’t know what happened. And that’s because I didn’t talk to anyone about what happened this past weekend. It’s no one’s business but ours.
“I didn’t hook up with Whit,” I tell him just before I swing my locker door open. I exchange a few books and shut the door to find Abraham standing there, his mouth hanging open.
“Are you serious?” he asks, shaking his head slowly, like he’s in a daze. “Why not?”
I take a step closer to him, not wanting anyone else to hear. “I wasn’t feeling it. Not with Whit.”
Abraham stares at me, his head still shaking from side to side. “You are a crazy asshole,” he finally says. “I don’t understand you.”
“Trust me, I don’t understand me, either.” I start walking, and again, Abraham falls into step beside me. Usually, I’m glad to have him around. For once, I want to be alone and wallow in my own thoughts.
And every one of my thoughts right now is zeroed in on Eden.
As we walk down the hall toward our first period class, Abraham is talking to me, but I don’t hear a word he says. I’m too busy searching the faces passing us by, desperate to catch a glimpse of Eden.
“Winter formal’s coming up.” Those particular words Abraham just said caught my attention.
“Still going to ask Eden to the dance?” I ask, my entire body stiff as I wait for his answer.
“Hell no, I told you I was trying to make you jealous and push you to go after her.” Abraham shakes his head. “Too bad that didn’t work.”
He has no idea, and I’m not telling him, either.
Or should I?
I finally spot Eden. She’s walking down the hall from the opposite direction, chatting and laughing with Molly as they head right for us. Every once in a while Eden looks around, like she’s searching for someone, and I’d bet everything I’ve got she’s looking for me.
“Yo, Molly. Eden,” Abraham calls out in greeting as they draw closer.
Molly smiles, her cheeks pink. “Abraham.”
“Hi, Abraham,” Eden says. Her gaze lands directly on mine. “Joshua.”
I tip my head toward her, barely able to contain the smile that wants to break free. “Eden.”
They walk past us, and I turn my head as they go, watching Eden from behind. She’s got on an oversize sweater and black leggings, black Converse on her feet. Bummed out over the sweater since it’s covering her ass, and she’s got a great one.
I should know. I had my hands all over it Saturday night.
“Did you just check out Molly?” Abraham asks.
I start to laugh. “No, asswipe.”
Realization dawns, and Abraham’s expression is downright hilarious. “You were checking out Eden?”
“Yeah, and keep it down.” I’m smirking. I can feel it. “We sort of—hooked up over the weekend.” Guess I’m not keeping us a secret after all.
“What the hell?” Abraham is practically shouting. “Seriously?”
I nod, trying to keep my cool.
“So you two are a thing now?”
“Sort of,” I hedge. We never talked after Saturday night. I left in the middle of the night, sneaking out of her house like a criminal. We exchanged a few casual Snapchats to keep up our streak like normal, and that was it. But I have a perfectly good excuse. I slept most of Sunday since I was exhausted, and the next thing I knew it was Sunday night and I was working on my homework that was due, Mom giving me a lecture about procrastination and how I’ll never make it in college if I keep that crap up. I ignored her and finished my government assignment, took a shower, and then collapsed into bed.
Abraham is frowning at me. “What do you mean, you’re sort of a thing? What does that even mean? Either you are or you aren’t.”
“Are you and Nicole a thing?” I throw back at him.
“Uh, I don’t know.” The frown is gone, replaced by an expression filled with confusion. “We hook up and that’s about it.”
“Right, so don’t give me any shit since you’re in the same situation as me,” I tell him as we keep walking. I feel sort of like a jerk, how I just said that. But whatever just happened between Eden and me is…fragile. Plus, it’s awesome and amazing and mind blowing and scary.
Yeah, it’s definitely scary.
“Nah, man, you two are different. You’re like best friends, and now that you two have done—whatever, it changes everything, right? Like now you should act like a couple of disgusting lovebirds who make kissy faces at each othe
r and drive us all totally insane with your over the top love for each other.”
I send him a sideways glance. “Are you a closet romantic, Abraham?”
“What? Me? No freaking way.” Abraham makes a dismissive noise. “I’m just stating the truth, bro. You know it’s gonna happen.”
I have no idea what’s going to happen with Eden and me, and that’s the scary part.
We’re walking and talking—make that Abraham’s talking—and I’m not paying attention to where I’m going. My thoughts are Eden-filled and I’m wondering if we’ll sit together at lunch. Or better yet, maybe we’ll go off campus somewhere for lunch and make out instead. Which makes me think of Eden’s lips. And her hands. And the way she kissed my neck and bit my ear and—
I run into someone. Hard. Reaching out, I grab slender shoulders to keep her—because she’s definitely a her—from falling. I hold her away from me and realize it’s Kaylie. I ran into Kaylie. My ex-girlfriend.
And she’s smiling at me like I’m her absolute favorite person.
Uh-oh.
“Josh,” she breathes, her smile growing. “How are you?”
“Good, good.” I remember how she ignored me in the parking lot when we walked by each other Friday afternoon before break, but I decide not to bring it up. “How was your break?”
“Oh, you know. I did the usual stuff, going to my uncle’s for Thanksgiving, having to babysit all the time for my parents. It sucked.” Kaylie is the oldest of six, and she’s always watching her younger siblings. She hates it.
“Sounds fun.” I glance over at Abraham, and he’s got this bemused expression on his face. Like he’s loving watching me squirm while talking to Kaylie. “Gotta go to class. See you around, Kaylie,” I say, trying to get away from her.
We start walking again, but she follows after us, calling my name. I pause and Abraham keeps on walking, like he knows some bullshit is about to go down and he doesn’t want to be around for it.
Some friend he is.
“What else is going on?” I ask, just to make conversation, because I’m not a rude bastard. I’ll talk to her if I have to, but I’m done seeking her out or wanting to try things again with Kaylie. Especially after what happened with Eden Saturday night.
Kaylie and I move out of the way of oncoming hallway traffic, and we both stop. “Nothing much. But I, uh, wanted to ask you a question.” She bites her lower lip, a thing I used to love when she did that, but now when I see her do it, I feel nothing, like absolute zero interest. My mind is 100 percent Eden filled. “Um, do you have a date to the winter formal yet?”
She can’t seriously be asking me this right now.
“Because if you don’t, I was hoping maybe we could go together.” The nervous yet hopeful look on her face makes me feel bad. Like really bad.
I part my lips, ready to offer up a firm hell no as my answer when the bell rings.
“Don’t say no yet,” Kaylie says. She lets go of my arm and starts walking away. “Tell me your answer later,” she calls over her shoulder.
I watch her go, stress turning my stomach into a jumble of nerves.
Great. Now Kaylie thinks I’m considering going with her to winter formal when there’s no chance in hell that’s gonna happen.
…
Eden
“You’ve been acting weird all morning,” Molly observes. We’re sitting in our student council class, everyone working on stuff for the upcoming holiday festival the school holds every year. Molly and I are designing a flyer, but I can’t concentrate for crap and she knows it.
All I can think about is Josh.
“I’m fine,” I tell her, my voice robotic as I stare at the laptop screen.
“You don’t sound fine. You sound like a weirdo.” Molly punches me in the shoulder. So hard I yelp and turn to glare at her. “I mean, I get that you’re not into my stories about Kirk. And that’s fine if my best friend isn’t enthusiastic about my dating choices, but at the very least, you could at least pretend that you care? Just a little? Maybe?”
My shoulders sag, and I grab hold of her, giving her a big hug. “I’m a shitty friend,” I murmur against her hair.
Molly slowly pulls away. “You forgot, huh.”
I nod, hanging my head. “I did.” And I feel like crap for it, too. But I had a lot of drama happen on Saturday, and I was a little distracted.
“Well, it wasn’t that great of a date, but I’m going to give him another try.” She leans in close and whispers near my ear. “He’s sort of boring.”
“Why?” I rear back so our gazes meet.
“He always talks about himself.” Molly wrinkles her nose, making me laugh.
“I hate it when people do that.”
“Me too.” Molly’s eyes narrow, and she does that I’m staring into your soul thing she usually does. “So. What’s going on with you?”
“What do you mean?” I turn away from her so she can’t peer into the depths of my brain or whatever magic voodoo she works to get me to confess my sins.
“Like I said, you’ve been acting weird all morning. Does this have to do with Cole? You never did tell me what happened on your dinner date,” Molly says. “I’m still sort of mad at you that you went on an actual date with him. What he did to you before was so awful, I don’t know why you’d want to put yourself through that again.”
Oh my God, that’s right. I can’t believe I didn’t tell her. So I launch into the entire story, starting from the very beginning of the date at the Italian restaurant, to when Cole confessed he cheated on me with Whitney, to the moment when I texted Abraham and he asked Josh to pick me up from the bowling alley instead.
“You texted Abraham first?” Molly sounds shocked. “What happened to Josh?”
“He was busy.”
“Too busy for you?”
“Well no, considering he did come and rescue me.”
“Right, because he always rescues you.”
I contemplate telling her about what happened with Josh. I can still barely believe it myself. It’s not like we went all the way or anything, but we messed around. In my bed. Lots of sloppy kisses and sexy murmurs and hands everywhere, buttons unbuttoned with fumbling hands and a bra unsnapped with too assured fingers and…
Yeah. It feels like a dream. Like it really didn’t happen. Seeing him in the hall before school started was kind of weird. He just looked like—Josh. Normal-every-day-Josh. But now he’s also the Josh who kissed me for hours. The Josh whose hands were all over my body. The Josh who touched me in a particular way and literally made me see stars.
My entire body goes hot just remembering.
“Wait a minute.” Molly’s words knock me from my thoughts. “You actually like Abraham now, huh. And he likes you! I should’ve seen this coming.” She buries her face in her hands.
I pull her hands away from her face and stare into her eyes. Maybe if I look hard enough, I can see into the depths of her soul, too. “Listen to me. I don’t like Abraham. He’s not my type. Besides, I would never do that to you.”
“Right. I know that.” She’s nodding, but I don’t know if I have her convinced. Molly’s not the most confident girl in the world when it comes to boys. Everything else in her life, she’s fine. More than capable. Beyond capable. Boys? They freak her out.
I’m quiet for a moment, contemplating what I should say next, and then I just blurt it out. “Josh and I hooked up.”
Molly’s eyes go so wide it’s almost comical. “What did you just say?”
I lean in closer, glancing around to make sure no one is listening to us. “Saturday night, Josh and I were together. And we sort of—messed around.”
“Ohmygod. Did you have sex with Josh?” she breathes, her eyes ready to bug out of her head.
“No.” Not yet. “He was over at Whitney Gregory’s house before he came and picked me up from the bowling alley.”
“Ew. She sucks. So bad.” Spoken like a true loyal best friend.
“Right. Wel
l, Josh went to her house fully planning on hooking up with her, but then he ended up picking me up from my disastrous date with Cole instead.”
“And so Josh ended up at your house and you two hooked up?” Molly shakes her head. “Are you sure you’re not just his…sloppy seconds?”
“Ouch, Molly.” Her words hurt. I know she’s watching out for me, but I never once viewed myself as his second choice of the night.
Or was I? Maybe he lied about not feeling right with Whitney to save face? Maybe Whitney wasn’t in to him after all and so he ended up with me?
Ugh. I hate that Molly just put major doubt into my head.
“I’m sorry, I hated saying that, but I’m just trying to be real. I don’t want to find out that he’s settling for you or whatever and then he ends up hurting you,” Molly explains.
“Settling for me?” Ouch again. She’s slinging the insults today, isn’t she? “I don’t think that was the case. He said he couldn’t stop thinking about me.”
“Of course, he would say that. He’s trying to get in your pants.”
Okay, before I was hurt. Now I’m just…mad. And I never get mad at Molly.
“You’re being really mean right now.”
“I’m trying to be really real right now. I don’t want you to get your hopes up only for them to come crashing down when you find out that Josh didn’t mean it.”
“Mean what?”
“Whatever it is he’s telling you!” Molly is full on yelling now. A few people are looking over at us and I know they’re trying to overhear what we’re saying.
“Lower your voice,” I tell her, keeping mine low too. “Seriously, people are totally eavesdropping.”
Molly sighs and looks away, staring out the window that faces the campus quad. “I don’t want you to get hurt, Eden,” she says, her voice so low I have to lean in closer. “I know you claim you’ve never felt that way about Josh until now, but I don’t know if I believe you. I think you’ve been in love with him forever.”
“So not true,” I immediately retort, grabbing my backpack off the ground and slinging it over my shoulder as I rise to my feet. “He was my best friend and now things have totally shifted. I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t think even he knows what’s happening. But I do know this.”
Saving It Page 16
