The Substitute

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by W. W. Jacobs

make up for losttime.

  "She sat there as quiet as a cat watching a mouse'ole, and I was going onwith my work, stopping every now and then to look and see whether theMonarch was in sight, when I 'appened to turn round and see the office-boy standing on the edge of the wharf with his back to the empties,looking down at the water. I nearly dropped my broom.

  "''Ullo!' I ses, going up to 'im. 'I thought you 'ad gorn 'ome.'

  "'I was going,' he ses, with a nasty oily little smile, 'and then itstruck me all of a sudden 'ow lonely it was for you all alone 'ere, and Icome back to keep you company.'

  "He winked at something acrost the river as 'e spoke, and I stood therethinking my 'ardest wot was the best thing to be done. I couldn't getMrs. Pratt away while 'e was there; besides which I felt quite sartainshe wouldn't go. The only 'ope I 'ad was that he'd get tired of spyingon me and go away before he found out she was 'iding on the wharf.

  "I walked off in a unconcerned way--not too far--and, with one eye on 'imand the other on where Mrs. Pratt was 'iding, went on with my work.There's nothing like 'ard work when a man is worried, and I was a'mostforgetting my troubles, when I looked up and saw the Monarch coming upthe river.

  "She turned to come into 'er berth, with the skipper shouting away on thebridge and making as much fuss as if 'e was berthing a liner. I helpedto make 'er fast, and the skipper, arter 'e had 'ad a good look round tosee wot 'e could find fault with, went below to clean 'imself.

  "He was up agin in about ten minutes, with a clean collar and a cleanface, and a blue neck-tie that looked as though it 'ad got yellermeasles. Good temper 'e was in, too, and arter pulling the office-boy'sear, gentle, as 'e was passing, he stopped for a moment to 'ave a wordwith 'im.

  "'Bit late, ain't you?' he ses.

  "'I've been keeping a eye on the watchman,' ses the boy. 'He worksbetter when 'e knows there's somebody watching 'im.'

  "'Look 'ere!' I ses. 'You take yourself off; I've had about enough ofyou. You take your little face 'ome and ask your mother to wipe itsnose. Strickly speaking, you've no right to be on the wharf at all atthis time.'

  "'I've as much right as other people,' he ses, giving me a wicked look.'I've got more right than some people, p'r'aps.'

  "He stooped down deliberate and, picking up a bit o' coke from the 'eapby the crane, pitched it over at the empties.

  "'Stop that!' I ses, shouting at 'im.

  "'What for?' 'e ses, shying another piece. 'Why shouldn't I?'

  "'Cos I won't 'ave it,' I ses. 'D'ye hear? Stop it!'

  "I rushed at 'im as he sent another piece over, and for the next two orthree minutes 'e was dodging me and chucking coke at the empties, withthe fool of a skipper standing by laughing, and two or three of the crewleaning over the side and cheering 'im on.

  "'All right,' he ses, at last, dusting 'is hands together. 'I'vefinished. There's no need to make such a fuss over a bit of coke.'

  "'You've wasted pretty near arf a 'undered-weight,' I ses. 'I've a goodmind to report you.'

  "'Don't do that, watchman!' he ses, in a pitiful voice. 'Don't do that!'Ere, I tell you wot I'll do. I'll pick it all up agin.'

  "Afore I could move 'and or foot he 'ad shifted a couple o' cases out of'is way and was in among the empties. I stood there dazed-like while twobits o' coke came flying back past my 'ed; then I 'eard a loud whistle,and 'e came out agin with 'is eyes rolling and 'is mouth wide open.

  "'Wot's the matter?' ses the skipper, staring at 'im.

  "'I--I--I'm sorry, watchman,' ses that beast of a boy, purtending 'e was'ardly able to speak. 'I'd no idea----'

  "'All right,' I ses, very quick.

  "'Wot's the matter?' ses the skipper agin; and as 'e spoke it came overme like a flash wot a false persition I was in, and wot a nasty-temperedman 'e could be when 'e liked.

  "'Why didn't you tell me you'd got a lady-friend there?' ses the boy,shaking his 'ed at me. 'Why, I might 'ave hit 'er with a bit o' coke,and never forgiven myself!'

  "'Lady-friend!' ses the skipper, with a start. 'Oh, Bill, I amsurprised!'

  "My throat was so dry I couldn't 'ardly speak. 'It's my missis,' I ses,at last.

  "'Your missis?' ses the skipper. 'Woes she 'iding behind there for?'

  "'She--she's shy,' I ses. 'Always was, all 'er life. She can't bearother people. She likes to be alone with me.'

  "'Oh, watchman!' ses the boy. 'I wonder where you expect to go to?'

  "'Missis my grandmother!' ses the skipper, with a wink. 'I'm going to'ave a peep.'

  "'Stand back!' I ses, pushing 'im off. 'I don't spy on you, and I don'twant you to come spying on me. You get off! D'ye hear me? Get off!'

  "We had a bit of a struggle, till my foot slipped, and while I was wavingmy arms and trying to get my balance back 'e made a dash for the empties.Next moment he was roaring like a mad bull that 'ad sat down in asorsepan of boiling water, and rushing back agin to kill me.

  "I believe that if it 'adn't ha' been for a couple o' lightermen wot 'adjust come on to the jetty from their skiff, and two of his own 'ands,he'd ha' done it. Crazy with passion 'e was, and it was all the four of'em could do to hold 'im. Every now and then he'd get a yard nearer tome, and then they'd pull 'im back a couple o' yards and beg of 'im tolisten to reason and 'ear wot I 'ad to say. And as soon as I started andbegan to tell 'em about 'is lady-friend he broke out worse than ever.People acrost the river must ha' wondered wot was 'appening. There wastwo lightermen, two sailormen, me and the skipper, and Mrs. Pratt alltalking at once, and nobody listening but the office-boy. And in themiddle of it all the wicket was pushed open and the 'ed of the lady wotall the trouble was about peeped in, and drew back agin.

  "'There you are!' I ses, shouting my 'ardest. 'There she is. That's thelady I was telling you about. Now, then: put 'em face to face and clearmy character. Don't let 'er escape.'

  "One o' the lightermen let go o' the skipper and went arter 'er, and,just as I was giving the other three a helping 'and, 'e came back with'er. Mrs. Pratt caught 'er breath, and as for the skipper, 'e didn'tknow where to look, as the saying is. I just saw the lady give 'im onequick look, and then afore I could dream of wot was coming, she rushes upto me and flings 'er long, bony arms round my neck.

  "'Why, William!' she ses, 'wot's the matter? Why didn't you meet me?Didn't you get my letter? Or 'ave you ceased to care for me?"

  "'Let go!' I ses, struggling. 'Let go! D'ye 'ear? Wot d'ye mean by it?You've got 'old of the wrong one.'

  "'Oh, 'William!' she ses, arf strangling me. ''Ow can you talk to me likethat? Where's your 'art?'

  "I never knew a woman so strong. I don't suppose she'd ever 'ad thechance of getting 'er arms round a man's neck afore, and she hung on tome as if she'd never let go. And all the time I was trying to explainthings to them over 'er shoulder I could see they didn't believe a word Iwas saying. One o' the lightermen said I was a 'wonder,' and the othersaid I was a 'fair cough-drop.' Me!

  "She got tired of it at last, but by that time I was so done up Icouldn't say a word. I just dropped on to a box and sat there getting mybreath back while the skipper forgave 'is wife for 'er unjust suspicionsof 'im--but told 'er not to do it agin--and the office-boy was saying I'dsurprised even 'im. The last I saw of the lady-friend, the twolightermen was helping 'er to walk to the gate, and the two sailormen wasfollering 'er up behind, carrying 'er pocket-'ankercher and upberella."

 


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