by Riley, Alexa
He throws the remote onto the coffee table, finally looking at me.
“You’re not the only one who lost something that day. Did you lose more? Fuck yeah, you did, but this person sitting on the couch next to me, I do not fucking know. It blows my mind you’d do this to that girl. You’re going to kick yourself in the ass for this one day. And have you forgotten your brothers need you? I need you. There’s so much shit going on around here with my father’s club, and I need you at my back. But you're just going to abandon us like this after everything? Are you still lying out there in that desert? I’m pretty sure I remember dragging your ass out of there, but from the looks of it, I’m not sure who the hell came back from that place.”
“I’m no good for her.” It’s all I can bring myself to say because I know he’s right.
“At this moment in time I’m inclined to agree with you, but you could be good enough for her if you tried. You haven't fought even a little for her, so you’re right; you’re no good for her.”
His words burn and drive me to pick up the pill bottle next to me. They’re for the pain, but I don't think the doc realizes I’m not using them for the external pain anymore. They numb me and help me forget all I’ve lost.
“I love her so goddamn much, Lucias, I just want what’s best for her.”
“Then be what’s best for her.”
Popping the top of the bottle, I look down at the pills. I stare at them for a second and put the lid back on. I throw the bottle over to Lucias, and he snatches it with one hand.
“Get me the cards the doctor gave me, I’ll make some calls.”
I have to at least try. For her.
Chapter Twelve
SAVAGE
May 2012
“Push, push, push, push!” the trainer screams at me, making my head pound. Dropping the weighted bar, I let out a string of curses. I’ve been at this for fucking months, and I don’t even feel close to having my strength back.
“You’re doing it all wrong,” Lucias says, strolling into the gym. “Watch and learn, I’ll teach you how you control a savage.” He smirks, thinking he’s being clever. The name has really started to stick, it seems.
“Get back under there; I’ll get you to lift it.” He nods for me to lie back on the bench.
Lying down, I grip the bar, trying to push it up. It comes off an inch, but I can’t seem to get it to move any more.
“I saw your shortcake today. I think she was on a date with some preppy-looking guy. What’s with all these stupid fucks popping their collars? Don’t they know they look like dipshits?”
Anger rushes through my body at Lucias’s words.
“See? Told you.”
It’s then I realize I have the bar fully extended out.
“Do I get a cut of your pay or something? Or does the insurance company just pay me direct for doing your job?” Lucias asks the trainer with a smirk on his face, one I’m about to remove with my foot.
I drop the bar back down and go to make a grab for him, but he sidesteps me.
“I was just fucking around, Savage. I didn’t see your girl.”
I give him a hard look, but I feel a smile hit the side of my mouth.
“One step closer,” he says, and I nod at him in agreement.
Chapter Thirteen
SAVAGE
June 2012
“The nightmares are easing off, but I’m still having about one a week,” I tell the doc, trying to get her to understand. I don’t care that I’m having less, I need to be having none.
“Abraham,” she says, putting her pad down on her desk. “We have come so far, you’ve gone from having them every night to having them once a week. That’s a huge improvement in such a short period, but you’ve got to give it more time.”
She’s been saying this for weeks, but it feels like it’s been months. Each day I’m away from Julie feels like an eternity. I have to get this a hundred percent under control before I go for her. When I have the nightmares, I lose control.
“You need to give yourself more credit. You’ve made significant progress, and with your positive attitude and hard work, I have no doubt you’ll make a full recovery. Just don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes you’ll have setbacks, but that doesn’t mean you’ll go back to square one. We’ll keep working at this until you’re healthy.”
“How much longer, doc?”
“Only time will tell, Abraham.”
Chapter Fourteen
SAVAGE
August 2012
“You’ve really made a miracle recovery. All your burns have healed nicely, with no infections, and your strength has come back a lot quicker than we thought it would,” Dr. Fields says as he flips through my file. Easy for him to say, the scars don’t look like they’ve healed so nicely to me, but that’s really neither here nor there right now.
“No, I’m not. I still can't fucking get it up.”
The doctor's eyebrows rise as he looks over the top of his glasses at me. “That’s not uncommon considering all the medication you’ve been on and the trauma your body has gone through. I could give you something for now, if you like, but you're young, I’m sure it will come back to you,” he offers, but I don’t want any more meds.
I just shake my head. I’m not ready to see her yet so it doesn't matter that my cock can’t get hard right now anyway.
“Give it a little more time,” he says, closing the file. “Keep working with the physical therapist and using the lotions I prescribed you. Other than that, you’re as healthy as can be. All you’re hard work has paid off.”
Not yet, I think to myself. Almost there.
Chapter Fifteen
SAVAGE
September 2012
Today marks three months exactly since my last nightmare. I told myself if I could go that long without one, then I could have her. I know it was shitty the way I left things, but I knew I needed to get my head straight before I tried to make things right. I owe her everything, and she deserves someone who’s able to give her that. I didn’t want to half-ass it with all we’ve been through already.
I hop on my motorcycle and head to Julie’s parents’ house. I heard from Mac that Julie’s been staying with them this semester to save money at school, and it breaks my heart. We should have been married by now, but my fucked-up head kept that from happening. I feel the wind blow on my face as I near the house, and I make a silent vow to her and to us that I’ll make it right.
I won her over once, and I can do it again. I have to. I’ve been to every shrink I could get my hands on, and talked until my lips went numb. I’ve been through so many doctors and physical therapists I could probably get a medical degree by now. I’ve done all I can do to myself to become the healthiest man I can be for her, and I’m ready to pick up where we left off. I just pray she’ll forgive me.
My dick still doesn’t work, but most of my doctors reassure me that one day it might. I hate that I can’t give that to Julie, but I’ll give her everything I can to make sure she’s satisfied. I don’t care if I have to eat her pussy thirty-two times a day, she’ll never want for anything sexually. My love for her goes beyond the physical, and I need her. I don’t care how it has to be. I have to have her.
I drive around the bend, and see her parents in the front yard doing some gardening. I pull up in the driveway and get off my chopper to go see if she’s home. I’m nervous about what her parents are going to say to me, but whatever it is, I’ll take it. She’s worth it all and then some. I’ll take any licking I have coming my way.
Her mom approaches me, with her dad close on her heels. She’s a tiny little thing just like Julie, and her white blonde hair hangs in ringlets too. They’re nearly identical in looks. And attitude. Julie’s dad is tall and well-built for an older guy. What I find most intimidating about him are his eyes. Julie’s eyes are the same, and I know they have the ability to see right through me.
I stand there and watch them walk towards me, bracing for the anger and the hat
red. When her mom’s within arm’s reach, I tense, but then suddenly I’m engulfed in a hug. It’s warm and wonderful, and I can’t help but hug her back, reveling in the comfort and affection.
“She’s in the kitchen,” she whispers into my ear, and she turns to go back to her flowers without another word.
Julie’s dad gives me a firm handshake and solid eye contact, telling me without words not to fuck this up. I nod back at him, and that’s all the confirmation he needs. In a matter of seconds they’ve gone back to their work, and given me their blessing to make things right with my girl.
I feel a bounce in my step as I go through the front door and make my way to the kitchen. It’s one more obstacle down to getting Julie back in my life.
I was here quite a few times before I shipped out, her parents always welcoming me to their home. Despite our age difference, and how fast we moved, they seemed to see something in us that reminded them of their relationship.
I round the corner and see her sitting at the table, books and papers spread out all around her. At the first sight of her beauty, my knees go weak, and I fall on them in the middle of the kitchen. It’s where I need to be anyway, groveling on them for her.
“Abe!”
Julie says my name as an expletive and an accusation. She jumps up from her seat and glares at me. It’s safe to say she isn’t happy to see me.
“What the fuck are you doing here? Get out.” She spits the words at me, but I can see her eyes. They can’t lie to me. I see the sadness and the need there, because they match my own.
I’m on my knees, and I spread my arms wide, baring my soul to her. Showing her physically how exposed I am, and that I’m willing to sacrifice everything for her.
“Julie.”
She starts to speak but I don’t let her.
“I never meant to hurt you, and I’m sorry I pushed you away. You were, and you are, the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I was so afraid. I was scared that you wouldn’t love me if I wasn’t whole, so I pushed first. I was having such a hard time figuring out what happened, and trying to keep you safe, that I lost my mind a little. I know I’m all scarred-up now, and I’m not the same on the inside either, but one thing has never changed. My love for you hasn’t gone away, and I know now that I’m okay. I got help and I got better, and I’m here, begging you to take me back.”
“No.”
She says the word, but I can see the way she’s moving from foot to foot. She’s fighting the pull between us. I can see the way she bites her bottom lip as she fights the urge to say what she really wants. I can see how her eyes beg me to hold her.
“Please,” I whisper, letting all the love I have flow through that one word.
“You broke my heart, Abe. I can’t just forgive that. You pushed me away. You wouldn’t let me see you when you needed me the most. What the fuck? You were the love of my life. How was I supposed to just forget that.”
“Did you forget it?”
“No.”
The tears run down her cheeks at the admission, and I can’t stand not going to her and holding her, but this has to be her decision. If she makes the choice to be mine, I’m not letting her get away.
“Julie, my love, please. I fought to get back to this place, and I’ll keep fighting until I have you. Take me back. Marry me. Be mine again and I’ll give you everything. We can do it all, baby. Have a house, babies, grow old together. Please, shortcake. Choose us,” I beg, knowing that I’ll sleep in her front yard every night until she finally gives in.
She laughs a little through tears when I say her nickname. “You show up after all this time and expect me to just fall into your arms after you call me ‘shortcake’?”
“Yes,” I say, giving her a half-smile.
“You’re a cocky bastard, I’ll give you that,” she says, reminding me of the first day we met, how she called me that then too, right before—
Suddenly, she runs to me, knocking me down on the floor as I engulf her in my big arms. She wraps her arms and legs around me, and I grab her face, pressing my lips to hers. Our lips and tongues connect, and it’s as if it’s our first kiss all over again. It’s all-consuming and like nothing I’ve ever felt. She’s my other half, and as our lips touch, my world clicks back into place.
“Thank God!” I shout, pulling back from her lips.
“What? Did you expect me to put up more of a fight?”
“Well, actually, yes. But also, my dick is hard as a rock right now, so today is officially the greatest day of my life. Let’s get married right now so I can go ahead and make it even better.”
“You’re crazy, you know that?”
“Crazy about you, shortcake. Now tell me you love me.”
“I love you more than bacon.”
* * *
Later that night
“I can’t believe we did it,” she says, playing with my dog tags that she’s wearing around her neck. They mean more than she knows, but I’ll tell her more about the club later.
“You better believe it, Mrs. Tanner. I do love a good Vegas wedding.”
“I thought for sure my parents would make us wait, but I guess they know what true love is like.”
“It’s pretty damn great, isn’t it, Mrs. Tanner?”
“You’re going to keep calling me that, aren’t you?” she asks, a giant smile lighting up her face. She likes it when I call her that.
“Fuck yeah. You’re mine now, shortcake. This is for life, and it’s about damn time too.”
She giggles, and I lean down to kiss her lips. As soon as she gave me the green light, I scooped her up and we hopped on the first plane out of Kansas City to Vegas. We got a quickie wedding—performed by Elvis—and now we’re in a suite at the Bellagio.
Julie pulls away, and I try to hold her tighter to me, not wanting to let her go.
“Easy, Abe. I just want to go change. I didn’t stop to get something to wear for the wedding night for nothing. I want this night to be perfect.”
“It already is. But if you want to have whatever you bought ripped to shreds, then by all means go change. But I’m giving you exactly seven seconds before I’m taking that door down and coming in after you.”
“Yes, sir,” she says with a mock salute. I don’t have the heart to tell her how awful that salute was, or that I like her calling me ‘sir’. I’ll save that one for another night.
As I watch her walk away, I take off all my clothes, wondering what she’ll think about the scars, how different I look now, but I push that thought aside. We’re past that. Julie doesn't care what I look like. I get into bed. I’m trying to be patient and give her the time she needs, even though I’m dying to feel her against me.
After what feels like an eternity, the bathroom door opens a crack, and she peeks out, hiding behind the door.
“I’m nervous. I don’t know why because you’ve seen me already, but this feels different.”
“It’s our wedding night, baby. It’s a big fucking deal.”
She laughs, and I hear her take a deep breath as if to steady her nerves. Finally, the door opens and she steps out. Suddenly, all the blood in my body goes to my dick, and I forget how to speak. It’s strange, finally being able to get hard after so long, but it seems all my body needed was her. It’s all it seemed to crave.
She walks slowly over to the bed, and I haven’t so much as breathed since she emerged from the bathroom. She stands at the end of the bed, looking like a pure angel, and I can’t find my tongue. She’s dressed simply in white lace, but seeing her like this, a virgin on our wedding night, it does something to the beast inside me.
A dark blush blossoms on her cheeks and chest, and I can tell she’s really shy right now. It shouldn’t make me harder but, fuck, it does.
“Abe?”
She whispers my name so quietly I almost don’t hear it.
“Perfect.” It’s all I can get out as I sit up and grab her, pulling her onto the bed. I roll us so she’s under me, my big bod
y blanketing hers. She’s so tiny, but we’ll fit together. We have to. The white lace rubs between us, so I pull the cups down to expose her nipples, rubbing them on my chest. “So fucking perfect.”
“I’ve waited so long for you, Abe. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Julie. With all my heart.”
I lean down, kissing her, her body wrapping around mine. My hard cock presses against her opening, and I can feel how hot and wet she is. We’ve been on edge all day to seal the deal, so I’m skipping the foreplay for now. I need to get inside her and have our bodies connected like they’re meant to be. I need to have her in every way possible to know that she’s truly mine.
I move my hips so the tip of my cock pushes against her entrance. I look into her eyes, and she gives me a small nod, letting me know that she’s ready. When I push in and break her hymen, she lets out a little grunt. My girl is tough and fighting through the pain, not letting me know how much it hurts.
She’s so incredibly tight I have to focus on my breathing as well. She squeezes me so hard, and feeling her, skin on skin, is heaven. I’ve never ridden bareback, but with her, it’s the only way we’ll ever be. I don’t care how many times I get her pregnant, I want nothing between us.
I lean down and kiss her neck, letting her relax a little, waiting for the pain to subside some. “I’m almost all the way in, baby. Just breathe, and I’ll push in the rest of the way.”
“Jesus Christ, are you shitting me, Abe? There’s more of you?”
I smile against her neck and keep kissing her, waiting on her to relax. “I guess you never got a good look at it before, but I’m big everywhere, Mrs. Tanner.”
“That monster is never going in my ass. Do you hear me? That’s a deal breaker.”
