by Tilly Hart
In the quiet moments of the night, alone and with nothing but my thoughts for company, the tears came thick and fast, wetting the pillow beneath me as I willed sleep to steal me away. As much of a distraction as Jed’s kiss had been, it didn’t ward off the flashbacks of the dead man that swamped me.
I killed him.
Six
JED
Pres ripped me a new one in his office.
‘What were you doing there in the first place?’ He glowered at me across the desk. His daughter, Emmeline, grinned at my discomfort as I shifted in my chair. Being part demon on top of her vampirism, she very much enjoyed others discomfort.
‘I was having a drink.’
‘With the girl? Where does she fit into this?’
‘She doesn’t. Or didn’t. Not until she threw one of them under the wheel of a bus. Head burst like a ripe grape.’
Emmeline clapped her hands in glee. ‘Oh, I’d have given anything to see.’
She may be older than I, but she had the annoying habits of an eighteen-year-old. With her never ending enthusiasm for the macabre, she was exhausting to be around.
Pres held up a hand to silence her. He may be her father, but after six hundred years of fatherhood, he was more exhausted than any of us.
‘So why is she here?’
‘He was about to stab me in the heart with a mother fucking stake and she pushed him under a bus for me. That’s why.’
Pres groaned and rubbed at his greying beard. Not that it had greyed any more in centuries, of course.
‘They had stakes? What are they playing at? Are they trying to start a war?’
‘They knew I’d met Calvin and they aren’t happy about it.’ I shrugged, the wolves’ response was way overboard, even for them.
‘Do they know about the coup?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t think so.’
‘Calvin better get his ass in gear. We can’t afford to drag this out any longer.’
‘He just needs a few more days,’ I said with a lot more confidence than I felt. ‘You know it will be war if we go in there, it will be better if they can take care of it internally.’
‘I know if I go in now, Greyson doesn’t stand a chance. In a few more days he’ll be harder to kill.’
‘Please, Abe, just a bit longer. There is a rift in the gang, and even if we go in, we need them on our side. You know they outnumber us six to one. Not only that, you know we can’t go in unless we have an invitation, and Calvin’s the only one who will give it to us.’ I only used the president’s actual name when I needed him to listen.
‘Ooh, maybe we could make a few new prospects.’ Emmeline grinned and ran her tongue over her exposed fangs.
‘No.’ Pres and I spoke at the same time.
Emmeline pouted and rested her chin on her hand. ‘No fun. You get a pretty girl to keep and I can’t even turn one guy into a vampire to bolster our forces.’
She knew it wasn’t that simple. Turning someone was a head fuck that none of us needed. Not only for the turning, but for raising the vampire equivalent of a man-sized, blood crazed toddler. It was different for her, shed been born into it, Pres and I remembered what it was like in those first few months. Mourning the loss of humanity while coming to terms with supernatural abilities and a penchant to snack on those you used to see as peers.
‘I’m not keeping her.’
‘So what, she’s a little blood snack? A fuck buddy? Didn’t think you were the dunk, drink and ditch kind, Jed.’ Such a smart-mouthed bitch, I looked over at Pres, exasperated.
‘She has a point,’ he said, shrugging. ‘What’s the plan.’
‘There isn’t a plan. You know as well as I do that if I put her out, she’s as good as dead. She doesn’t seem to have a home to go to, she just split up with her boyfriend.’
Emmeline snorted at that and banged the table with an open hand. ‘Holy shit, you’re the rebound guy?’
I bristled as she broke out in a fit of giggles. ‘I’m not. It’s not like that. She saved my life, I owe her.’
‘Does she know what you are? What we are?’ Pres slumped back in his chair, the initial anger he had dissipating into annoyance.
‘No.’
‘Then whatever delusions you’re having, get them out of your head. The minute she finds out, she’ll run. And when she does, she better keep her mouth shut, or the wolves won’t be the only ones after her.’
I was thankful for the club’s lack of windows as I moved through the quiet halls. Usually I slept by day, but when needs must, we could be awake and still avoid the searing daylight. Contrary to popular belief, vampires don’t explode the minute sunlight touches us, rather it brings a slow, agonising burning. Death only happens after around ten minutes outdoors, but the excruciating pain of even the slightest exposure makes us avoid it like the plague.
Angus sat on one of the now empty sofas in the club room watching a quiz show and eating a giant bowl of fruit loops.
I tossed a surgical pack at him and took off my shirt. 'Can you stitch me up? '
‘After I finish my cereal. Sit.’
There was no arguing with the human, so I did as I was told and sat next to him, watching as people on the TV turned a giant colourful wheel. When the TV had been invented, I lost many, many hours watching it, but after a few decades it had long lost its appeal. Angus, however, adored it.
Eventually, the crunching of the cereal stopped and Angus plucked out the needle and surgical thread and stitched the flap of skin back to my stomach.
‘Nasty one, this.’
‘It doesn’t hurt.’
‘Mmm.’ Angus focused on the stitches as he pulled the bloodless flesh back together, securing it with neat lines of thread as he went. He wasn’t medically trained, but as one of our two resident humans, we relied heavily on him. He could go out in the daytime for supplies, or to spy on our enemies. He could meet with the governors as a human ally. He was a friend.
‘So,’ he said as he continued to work on me. ‘The girl. She a blood junkie?’
The blood junkies got off on the high that runs through them when a vampire feeds. It was the closest most of us got to human victims since we’d made the vow to stop feasting on them. They gave the blood willingly to get off on the euphoria the fangs produced. But like any drug, it’s addictive. Most of them push themselves until they gave too much and inevitably perish from exsanguination. They made my stomach roil, and I’d never use one, far less create one.
‘No. She’s just a regular woman.’
‘No regular woman would be in this place. Guardians of the Underworld is hardly the place for anyone normal to hang out.’
‘She pushed one of the wolves under a bus for me.’ I winced as the needle passed through a tender spot of skin. The wound would heal naturally in a matter of hours, but if the flap wasn’t secure, it would heal hanging permanently.
Angus looked up at me and smiled. ‘You like her, don’t you?’
He’d been with us for over forty years, we’d all seen him grow from the young prospect into an ageing man over the years, yet somehow he’d overtaken us in his wisdom along the way.
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘I like her. And I think she could like me. But Pres is right, as soon as she finds out the truth, she’ll be running for the hills.’
‘She might surprise you. I stuck around.’
‘Ah, but you’re one in a million Angus, I don’t know what we’d do without you.’
Angus chuckled as he tossed the used needle in the trash and poured himself another bowl of cereal. ‘I’m sure you’d find another lackey to do your bidding.’
‘Hopefully one with better taste in TV,’ I joked as I stood up and inspected his handiwork. The scar would be barely noticeable. He always did such neat work. ‘Thanks for fixing me up, again.’
‘Aye, well just remember I can’t stitch broken hearts. Guard yours.’
I wasn’t intending on falling for Rebecca, I just wanted a few days to make
sure she was safe. And maybe to indulge in her body a little before she had to go back to face her actual life.
The thought of her being back with her ungrateful ex had me clenching my ripped tee-shirt in my fists as I bid goodnight (or good day, if I got technical) to Angus.
I stole into my room, to find Rebecca curled up in my bed, her cheeks dusted with dried salt tracks where her tears had fallen before she had given in to sleep. A gentleman would have taken the couch, but I was no gentleman. I kicked my boots off and ditched my jeans, crawling in beside her in nothing but my underwear. Her back was warm as I pressed myself against her, my body curling around her own as I gathered her against me.
I ignored the throbbing in my pants as I traced my fingers lightly up her exposed stomach beneath the covers. The ever vital pulsating of blood beneath the skin of her neck was a devilish temptation as I snuggled into her shoulder. It would be so easy to slip and sink my fangs into her neck, to feel her blood darting through my veins. Animal blood and donated blood were like the boiled potatoes of our world. They gave me energy, but lacked any of the pleasure of fine dining. But as I watched her sleep, I pushed the cravings deep down inside. Underneath, I knew it wasn’t about her blood; it was about her.
And for the first time in centuries, I fell asleep with my arms around a beautiful woman.
I sank into a deep slumber with a smile on my face and the sweet smell of Rebecca enveloping me.
Seven
Rebecca
I had no recollection of Jed joining me in the bed, but when I stirred from a heavy sleep, it was to the realisation that it was his thick, tattooed arm which draped across the small of my waist. My breath grew shallow as I wracked my brain, trying to decide if I was okay with him being pressed up against me uninvited. All of my muscles stiffened as he shifted behind me, his hand splaying against my stomach as he pulled me closer to him. With bated breath, I waited until his breathing settled back into the cyclic rhythm of sleep. Even as I flinched beside him, I couldn’t argue that he felt good there, holding me close. It had been years since I’d slept in someone’s arms. Despite our kiss the previous night - which brought butterflies racing around my insides at the merest thought - he hadn’t presumed to come on to me.
With careful manoeuvring, I slipped out from beneath his arm, mourning its loss as his warmth left me. He slept soundly, his hair mussed up around his face. The lips that had driven me wild were full and inviting, while a weft of dark lashes framed his closed eyes.
He was beautiful really, under the leather and tattoos - of which he sported many - with his fine cheekbones and defined jaw, and his tautly muscled physique. Over his stomach there was a lengthy line of neat stitches where his injury had been, but there appeared to be none of the redness or inflammation I’d have expected from a fresh injury. It looked like the flesh had knitted together already. It made no sense, but so little from the past twenty-four hours had.
My phone lit up as a green message box appeared, throwing a beam of light upwards and illuminating the darkened room. I grabbed it and slid out of the bed, locking myself in the bathroom.
Ben.
My phone held a string of messages from throughout the day. We had slept all day, shit. It was eight at night, and Ben was furious with my silence. Furious and annoyed. The messages varied from appeals to return home and stop acting like a spoilt brat, to cursing at me and telling me never to come back. None asked if I was okay. None held an apology.
I sent back one line and turned my phone off.
‘I’m fine. I’ll be back for my things when I’m ready.’
Short and to the point. It was all he deserved, and even then only so he wouldn’t call the police to come find me.
I stripped off my underwear and stepped into the shower, cursing as the icy water hit me while it took a minute to heat. The hot water lashed at my back, turning the skin a bright pink as I let it wash away the stains of the previous day. The dirt, the whisky, the blood. But no matter how hot the water, it didn’t cleanse any of the guilt within me. I was living, but the man was still dead.
The tears returned, lost in the rivers of scorching water, and I left them to come unchecked, flowing freely until there were none left to fall. Only then did I wash my hair with the men’s shampoo placed on the shelf and allowed myself to return to the real world. It wasn’t my reality, but reality none-the-less.
The towels were large and soft, and I wrapped myself up in one before unlatching the door and sneaking back into the dark room.
‘Evening.’ My head snapped round as the voice drifted groggily through the air.
‘Um, hi.’ I rooted through my bag and dragged out a clean set of clothes as Jed sat up in bed, rubbing at his face. My cheeks blazed as he watched me struggling with holding up the towel and looking through the bag at the same time. ‘I can’t believe I slept all day, I’m sorry, I’ll get dressed and get out of your hair.’
‘Maybe I’m enjoying you being in my hair. I enjoyed you being in my bed.’ His face broke into a cocky smirk as he leaned back against the headboard, flexing his arms and placing them behind his back.
‘I wasn’t in your bed like that.’
‘Do you want to be?’ If my face hadn’t been red enough already, it rocketed to a fresh shade of scarlet.
‘Look, I appreciate what you did for me, I think we can call it even. Your club members didn’t look happy for me to be here and I don’t want to cause you any more grief.’
In an instant he was by my side, all tight abs and fuck me hair as I stammered beside him. He turned me to face him and looked into my eyes, no hint of the cocky bastard remaining. ‘You haven’t caused me any grief. If you go, you will be in danger and I can’t protect you if you leave.’
‘Why do you care what happens to me? There are a thousand girls out on those streets who would warm your bed.’
‘I know. But I want you.’
My heart skipped a dozen beats as his words washed over me. He wanted me. How long had I waited for someone to say that? But he barely knew me, and wanting me in his bed was not the same as wanting me.
‘You want me for now, in there.’ I pointed to the bed behind us. ‘But I need to start a whole new life. My job, my partner, my home and even my friends have all just come crashing down around me. Even if I can get past what happened last night, I can’t stay here. It’s only delaying the inevitable. Not that I’m not tempted by the offer of no strings sex, it’s been a long time. And if you are as good at everything else as you are at kissing, it’d be a hell of a time.’
His lips pursed as I spoke, but I wasn’t sure which bit of what I said had offended him. Did he feel like I owed him?
‘I’m not telling you to stay to fuck you, as much as I’d love to throw you naked into my bed right now. I’m telling you to stay so you don’t get taken out by the Sons of Cerberus the moment you walk out of here alone. You want to take that chance? Be my guest.’
Jed distanced himself from me, pulling a tee-shirt over his head and dragging on a pair of jeans while I stood there clutching my towel. Would they really try to kill me? It had been an accident.
‘When will it be safe?’ I said.
‘After the full moon. If all goes well, they’ll have much bigger fish to fry.’
‘Why the full moon? I didn’t realise bikers abided by lunar calendars.’
Jed shrugged as he put on his jacket, stepping over the broken glass from the night before. I cringed as my moment of temper came back to me. ‘I’m going out for something to eat. You coming?’
‘I thought it wasn’t safe?’
‘I’ll be there, you’re safe with me.’
We came to an impasse in the parking lot. While we’d escaped on his bike the previous night, I’d been in a state of shock and barely registered what I was doing. I was wholly more sane when he threw his leg over the bike and waited for me to join him.
‘I don’t understand why we can’t just walk.’
The bike revved beneath
him and I launched myself in front of it, my legs either side of the wide front wheel, and my hands gripping the backs of his own on the handles as we stood face to face.
‘Either get on or go back inside. I’m a biker, we ride.’
‘Look, I get that you are dark and dangerous. I get it. And I’m not saying it’s not hot, but maybe you could just walk this once for me? Bikes are death traps!’ My heart hammered in my chest as the words ejected from my mouth like a vomit of desperation.
The wheel tilted between my legs as he got off, placing the kickstand back down and rounding to the front of the bike. With incredible ease, he grasped me by the waist and lifted me out of the way, depositing me to the left. His hands remained at my waist while his eyes burned with either fury or desire, or maybe a little of both. One hand reached up and tilted my chin until my lips were dangerously close to his own and I all but melted on the spot.
‘Get on the fucking bike.’ His demand sent a tingle to my core despite myself, and a thrum of electric shuddered between us. Even as he spoke, he got closer, his fingers trailing a path down the length of my exposed neck and resting at the point where my pulse thundered close to the skin. His lips grazed mine with the lightest of touches, not even a kiss, and it sent fire directly into my pants.
Within a breath, cool air touched every part of his absence and he was striding back to the motorcycle, leaving me with moist pants and annoyance pouring through my veins.
‘You’re an arrogant bastard,’ I said, narrowing my eyes at Jed.
His head tipped to the bleak night sky as his chest rose in one almighty breath. Before I could say another word, he had me pinned to the wall, his crotch pressed against me and his hand against the rough brick above my head. I’d barely blinked, and he’d crossed toward me, lifted me without a struggle and move us both to the wall. My mind reeled. What the fuck?
‘You’re testing my limits Rebecca.’ He asked, his voice dropping to a menacing growl. ‘Stop being mouthy and get on the bike. Now. Or so help me, I will take you back into the bedroom and put that mouth to better use.’
