“Favorite color still yellow?” he asked, voice hopeful.
She didn’t look up. Half her face still submerged in the stuffed animal’s plushness but gave a soft nod.
His heart lurched because he was a father who had to ask his own daughter what her favorite color was. At that moment, he made a vow to always know everything about that little girl again. To know her better than he knew himself. Better that she knew herself, even.
He vowed to be the best father anyone could possibly be.
The father she deserved.
——
“Son of a bitch.” Jason O’Malley’s bald head gleamed under the porch light of his multi-million dollar flat in one of London’s most exclusive areas, cradling both hands on the doorway and giving it all of his weight as his knees went weak, glowering across the threshold.
Linc raised his eyebrows from the welcome mat, the yellow porch light casting a deep shadow against the hood of the black sweatshirt he’d pulled low on his head. He squeezed Emma’s shoulder from where she stood next to him, cuddled into his leg, which was nearly twice as big as her tiny body. She wore one of Linc’s gray sweatshirts as well, the hoodie falling so low on her face that it covered her eyes completely. Still hugging the yellow bear to her chest, she tried to look up at Jason, but the hood blocked her view.
“Can you keep the profanity down around my kid, please?” Linc reached down to adjust Emma’s hoodie so she could see, leaving it hanging sideways on her face, giving at least one of her eyes a clear view of Jason as she peeked up at him. Linc looked both ways down the quiet street in the borough of Kensington and Chelsea, where some of London’s most expensive townhouses lined the street with soaring white beams at every door and fresh potted plants dancing with the wind on every balcony. “You gonna let us in or what?”
“Son of a bitch did it.” Jason seemed to be seriously entertaining the idea of telling Linc, no. That, no, he wasn’t going to let them in. He appeared on the verge of refreshing Linc’s memory about the promise he’d made him weeks earlier when he’d still been staking out the mayor's home. The promise that, if Linc followed through on his plan to snatch Mia, Jason couldn’t help him anymore. The reminder appeared to be on the tip of Jason’s tongue—along with a few more expletives that would surely corrupt his newly acquired child. But something else won out. Something that drove Jason to step away from the door with a huff, giving Linc and Emma room to step inside even as he rolled his eyes and ground his teeth.
“We weren’t seen, a’ight?” Linc spoke to the irritation tightening Jason’s jaw as he stepped into the opulent foyer with a crystal chandelier hanging overhead, glowing off the dark cherry wood floors. Linc closed the door behind him, his hand remaining on Emma’s shoulder.
Jason didn’t even acknowledge Linc as he bent down. The tie of his designer suit swinging forward as he came eye-to-eye with Emma.
The moment their gazes met, Emma’s shoulders rose high, her nose sinking deeper into the bear as her green orbs searched his.
“You like cartoons, Emma?” Jason asked, giving her the first genuine smile he’d managed since the moment they’d shown up unannounced at his door.
“She doesn’t watch TV,” Linc answered, giving Jason one of the few morsels of information he’d learned about Emma during the drive back up to London, when he’d asked her what her favorite cartoon was.
Jason looked up at Linc, the small smile he’d managed for Emma vanishing in an instant, replaced with a scowl as the two men stared each other down.
Jason looked back down at Emma, and his face transformed again, eyes alight. “Books.” He laughed softly when that word alone caused Emma’s face to fly up from her bear, eyes wide. “Ah, you like books?”
She nodded rapidly, a gleaming smile crossing her lips.
Linc chuckled down at her, pulling the hoodie off her head to reveal her curls, which had gone frizzy after being confined for so long.
The sight of her wild mane only made Jason’s face go softer, and he nodded his bald head down a long hallway that was lined with the expensive paintings and sculptures he’d purchased over the years.
“Third door on the left is my study. Enough books to last even the most brilliant young girl a lifetime. What do you think?”
Emma looked up at Linc with a gasp, priming her feet as she smiled up at him, waiting for his okay.
“Go ‘head.” Linc nodded down the hall.
And Emma was off, like an Olympic sprinter who’d just heard the gunshot.
The two men watched her go, both smiling after her. Jason’s grin was the first to fall, however, once Emma made it to the study and disappeared inside.
Linc kept his eyes on the study door, long after Emma had vanished beyond it, licking his lips when a smirk tried to lift the corners, feeling Jason’s eyes burning into the side of his face.
Jason’s voice came, low and hard, echoing off the high ceilings of the exorbitant but lonely house. “Have you lost your goddamn mind bringing her here?”
Linc finally looked at him.
Jason raised his eyebrows, lips sealed into a tight line, hazel eyes aflame.
Linc looked him up and down. “Only man I know who wears a suit in his own house.”
“For your information, I was on my way out.”
Linc searched his eyes, his smirk dissipating, voice sobering. “I’d never have come here if I had any other choice, a’ight? You know that. The cars… the safe houses… Paris… Venice. I can’t ever repay you. But I need—”
“No.”
“I need you to watch Emma—”
“What did I just say—”
“While I go and take care of something.”
“Take care of what? What on Earth could be more important than your own daughter right now?”
Linc’s jaw rolled. “Nothing is more important.”
“Actions speak louder than words my friend. If nothing is more important, take her, leave, and never come back. You understand?”
Linc took a moment. “If anything happens to me, I want you to take Emma to my mother in California—”
“Christ, am I speaking English? The answer is no—”
“I can’t leave. Not yet.”
“Tell me why or the answer is no.”
Linc took a deep breath, running a hand down his face. He looked away, down the hall Emma had just blazed through, and then his eyes flew back to him. “Mia.”
Jason turned away with a gleaming smile that was quickly followed up with a hearty, amused laugh.
Linc nibbled his bottom lip. “I gotta go back for her—”
“No! You don’t gotta do anything but be a father to that little girl.” Jason pointed down the hallway. “And you need to do it anywhere but here.”
“I gotta go get her, man.”
Jason searched his face for a long moment, and then he tilted his head. A knowing look heated his skin, and his arms collapsed to his sides. “You slept with her.”
Linc looked away.
Jason took hold of the flaps of Linc’s sweatshirt and yanked him forward. “You unimaginable, unfathomable, unbelievable goddamn fool. You slept with the mayor’s wife?”
Linc looked down at Jason’s clenched fists with an amazed expression. As if he couldn’t believe this man had the gall to put his hands on him. In one swift move, cringing, he swiped Jason’s hands away. Both men took a healthy step back before things got more heated, shifting their shoulders once they were separated.
“He’s gonna kill her, Jason,” Linc said, adjusting his hoodie. “One of his goons bust in on us in Venice. Saw us in bed and gave his partners the word. Malik will use her to cinch the election and then it’s lights out. I can’t…” He swallowed heavily. “I can’t open the paper weeks, months, years from now, and read that she’s missing… or hurt…or dead because of me. I can’t live with that, man. I dragged her into this fucking mess, so it’s on me to get her out.”
“I told you that if you went through
with this—”
“I know what you told me!” Linc took a moment when his voice rose, covering his mouth with his hand and dropping his head. Only when the heartbeat that had picked up to a mile a minute slowed did he sink his hand into his pocket, take out his cellphone, and pull up a map, looking back up at Jason. “I know what you told me, but…” Linc showed him the map on the screen, where a gleaming red circle pulsed in the center. “Right now, I know exactly where she is. I know I can get to her in less than half an hour. And, I know, if Malik finds the chip I planted on her, that’s her life. If she moves out of range, that’s her life. If the signal goes out, that’s her life. Do you wanna be the reason Mia breathes her last when it could’ve been prevented?”
A long silence fell between the two friends as they watched each other in silence, faces equally heated as they searched each other’s eyes. Neither moved to break the burning stare or even speak, knowing that the first one to look away—the first one to speak—was the loser.
34
“How do you feel about staying with Jason for a couple of hours?” Linc’s voice echoed off the tight walls of the small guest bathroom, minutes later, from where he leaned forward on his knees on the edge of the toilet.
Emma stood before him clutching his knees in her tiny hands. “It’s okay.”
Linc noted the slight English accent she had, finding it both horrifying and adorable. Horrifying because it further solidified the life that had been stolen from her in her real home in America, and adorable because… well, she was fuckin’ adorable.
“You sure?” he asked. “If you’re even a little uncomfortable… if you’re scared… I won’t go.”
She shook her head. “I’m not scared.”
He smiled, knowing it was the truth. Wondering if she was scared of anything. Not a single glimmer of tears in her eyes. Not a single flash of fear. Again, he found it both horrifying and adorable. Horrifying because most six years olds couldn’t handle being left all alone with a profane, scowling—not to mention balding—stranger like Jason O’Malley. And adorable because he could almost see the valiant little ankle-biter before him with a bow and arrow in her hand, charging out onto the battlefield without a second’s hesitation, her big blonde curls blowing in the wind behind her. He couldn’t decide whether he loved her courageousness, or hated it.
He landed on love. “You’re so brave, baby.” He pushed her hair away from her face, his heart churning at the softness of the shorter, wispier baby hairs at her temples as they trickled over his fingers. Even as he found himself in awe at her strength, the urge to comfort her was still alive in him as well. “Jason’s a director at NCA Intelligence. He’s looking for his little boy just like I’ve been looking for you. Played a pretty big role in helping me get to you. He’s been a good friend of mine for a long time. He was a good friend of your mother’s once too.”
“He didn’t find his little boy?”
“Not yet, but I have no doubt he will because he’ll do whatever it takes. Just like me and your mom did everything it took to find you.”
“Are you gonna go away like Mommy?”
His stomach caved in. When he tried to speak, nothing but a croak came, forcing him to take a moment before collecting himself. “I’m not going anywhere, Emma.”
She pressed her lips together. “You promise? You’ll never leave me?”
He assumed this was one of the many moments most parents struggled with. The moment when he knew the real truth—that he would eventually leave her—but didn’t want to hurt her by saying it out loud. On the other hand, he wondered if lying to her, deluding her about the realities of the world—about the fact that a parent was supposed to die before their children—would do her just as much a disservice. Was she still too young for that kind of truth? Should he hold her hand and humor her? Or trust in her innate strength and be honest?
Finally, “I promise,” spilled from his lips because he’d landed on humor. “I’ll never leave you, baby.”
It was a lie, but Emma had been through hell and back. She deserved to be humored for a little while. To believe there was still sunshine and rainbows in the world. He, at least, wanted her to have that.
She leaned in, tightening her hold on his knees with her bottom lip jutting out. “He took all my pictures of you and mommy.”
Assuming she was talking about Malik, Linc barely contained an infuriated scream. “It’s all good. I’ve got pictures. You can have them all if you want. I’ve got pictures of your mom for days.”
“And of you too,” she insisted.
“Me too, baby.” He drew in a deep breath, taking in her button nose. Her wiggly toes, the middle toe a little longer than the others, like her mother’s used to be. Her unkempt blonde eyebrows and her crooked teeth. The way his sweatshirt nearly swallowed her entire body whole. Everything about her was perfect to him. “Like I said, Jason won’t let anything happen to you. You can trust him. I’ll only be gone for a few hours, max.”
She nodded.
The more lion-hearted she was, it seemed, the less lion-hearted he was, forced to draw in a trembling breath to temper the tears that tried to burn his eyes. “You look just like your grandmother. You know that?”
She gave a small smile and shook her head softly.
He dropped his face into his hand, pinching the corners of his eyes when the tornado in his stomach nearly became too much to bear. “It’s crazy.”
“Is she nice?”
His gaze shot up, nostrils flaring as he managed to temper the redness in his eyes, cupping her cheek. “She’s an angel. Just like you.”
“Can I see her?”
“Yeah…” He nodded, laughing breathily. “Soon. Real soon.”
She searched his eyes, and Linc forced his own away when the feelings tearing him apart inside became too much, looking toward the bathtub next to them where Emma had sat her yellow stuffed bear on the edge.
“Do you need any help?” He frowned. Another question no father should ever have to ask his daughter during bath time. His guilt-laden gaze flew back to her just as she shrugged out of his big sweatshirt, letting it puddle to the floor at her feet. Then she got to work on her overalls.
“I need help with these,” she grumbled, tugging at the suspenders of her blue overalls, making the clips rattle. Her high-pitched voice filled the bathroom as Linc seized the clips and undid them for her, letting the straps collapse to her sides. “And I need help turning the knobs the right way to get the right temperature.”
“A’ight…” Linc shifted on the toilet seat once her overalls were undone, the rustle of her clothes filling the bathroom as she got undressed. The rustle was drowned out when he turned on the faucet, however, sending water gushing from the spout and into the white porcelain tub. Emma approached him once her overalls were off, leaving her in just a white t-shirt and underwear, placing her hand on his bicep, which looked the size of a tire by comparison. Linc tested the water with his fingertips and then turned to meet her eyes. “That good?”
Using his massive arm for leverage, she leaned in and tested the water too before giving a soft nod of approval.
After plugging the drain and squeezing some bubble bath inside the tub, Linc faced her once more. They shared a soft smile. Their cheeks went red. His eyes were the first to fall, and when he found the will to sneak a look up at her, her eyes had fallen as well. A silence took over that could only reign in a room where two people loved each other but didn’t really know each other.
“I wanna know everything about you,” he whispered.
She bopped on her toes. “Me too.”
“Let’s see… favorite color’s yellow. Don’t watch TV. What more is there to know?” He teased, the sound of her giggle lighting up his world. “What’s your favorite cereal?”
“Fruit Loops!”
He chuckled.
“What’s yours?” she gripped his knees once more.
“Captain Crunch.”
She cringed, pus
hing her pointer fingers into her mouth. “Ew, I don’t like those. They hurt my mouth.”
Linc assumed she was pointing to her palate, the delicate roof of the mouth that proved no match for the sharp ridges of Captain Crunch cereal. “Yeah, but it’s worth the pain.”
Her eyes widened. “No, it isn’t.”
He chortled, feeling his face light up as he nodded up at her. “Favorite subject in school.”
“I don’t know. I never went to school.”
His blood ran cold, hands tightening into fists that he’d love nothing more than to send into Malik Ali’s face. Fighting through the anger, he licked his lips and went on. “You like books, though. Favorite book.”
She leaped clear off the floor with a gasp. “Prisoner of Azkaban!”
“Prisoner?” His lip curled. “Is that a kid’s book?”
“Harry Potter.” She beamed as if that was the silliest question she’d ever heard. Apparently transported to another world just by saying the words Harry Potter, her eyes widened as she clenched both his immense biceps, which were flexed from where he leaned forward on his knees. “You remind me of Rubeus Hagrid.”
“Rubeus who?”
“He’s a giant too.” She stopped herself, squinting one eye while tilting her head back and forth, her voice full of light as she discussed a character she clearly held a deep fondness for. “Well, half-giant, half human.”
“Aren’t those books too old for you? Aren’t they scary or something?”
“No,” she breathed, voice wistful. “They’re wonderful! Mia and I read the whole series together. Well… almost. We still have one more book to go.”
“Did Mia teach you to read?”
She nodded.
Linc’s stomach fell to his feet, and he took Emma’s waist in his hand, squeezing tight. When his voice came again, it had fallen so low it was almost indiscernible. “You love Mia?”
Her eyes softened. “Yes.”
A lump rose in his throat. “Me too.”
She gasped. “We should go and get her.”
Linc could hardly believe his ears. By default, Emma was already perfect to him—because she was his—but with every word that spilled from her smiling lips, amazingly, she became even more flawless in his eyes. To the point that he wondered how she was even real. He almost told her that he intended to do just that—to go and get Mia—but something in him stopped the words from coming out of his mouth. Some part of him had already become more of a father than he ever thought he could be. The part that had risen the moment he’d held Emma in his arms for the first time, and he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk getting her hopes up about seeing Mia again until he was sure he could deliver. He couldn’t risk breaking her heart.
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