by Alexa Riley
“No, wait, I can explain.” I hold my hands up and take a step to the bathroom door. I want to put myself between Paul and that door, but the guards are closing in. “Please, Paul, let’s just go downstairs and talk.”
“I’ve been waiting to do this for years, Isaac. You’re finished.”
When he says those last two words, the guards descend on me, and I’m taken to the ground. I try to pull air into my lungs, but they’ve knocked it out of me, and just as I begin to fight, black spots appear in the corner of my vision.
The last thing I see before I lose all consciousness is the bathroom door opening. She’s standing there in a white robe like she truly is an angel, but her eyes are full of fear. I want to go and hold her and kiss her and tell her I love her, but the blackness swallows me, and she’s gone.
Prison was the only thing that could keep me from her, and that’s exactly where my brother hid me away.
Chapter 1
Jillian
Present Day…
I watch the snowflakes drift to the ground. Rae is going to be so excited. She was starting to get worried we wouldn't get any snow before Christmas, and it’s her favorite time of year.
“Are you even listening to me?” my sister-in-law Eve asks as she sets down a glass of hot chocolate in front of me. Her hot chocolate is addictive and also terrible for your hips. Not that that’s going to stop me. She’s got all her papers and notes spread out on the table, and she’s in full-on party planning mode.
“I’m sorry.” I nod toward the snow that’s falling, and Eve’s face lights up with a smile.
“Rae is going to be excited.” She echoes my thoughts as she takes a sip of her own drink. I always wondered what kind of woman my brother would fall for. If someone had told me it would be a bubbly party planner who is often a bit clumsy, I’m not sure I would have believed it.
He almost scared her off when she first arrived here, but she didn't back down and knocked him right on his ass. Not that it would have mattered. If she had run, my brother would have chased. He was in love with her the moment they met, and they’ve managed to make me believe in soul mates again. Their love feels a little bit magical.
“So as I was saying,” Eve keeps going, “I was going over the Christmas party list, and there are a few men I want to introduce you to.” She taps the paper in front of her, and it’s filled with names, many that I’d given her, but none of whom I would ever date. She wiggles her eyebrows.
“You’re relentless.” She’s been trying to set me up for the past few months, but I don't date. All my attention is on my daughter, and she’s the center of my world. Though lately she’s been asking why Mommy doesn't try to find her own prince.
I’m lucky that I have a trust that allows me to stay home with her so we get to spend so much time together. But it doesn’t allow for meeting new people, even if I wanted to date.
“In the year I’ve known you, I’ve never once heard you talk about going on a date.” She runs her finger along the top of her cup, and the light hits the diamond of her wedding ring. Eve and my brother's love story is a little bit of a fairy tale. With them around it feels like love is in the air, and now she wants me to breathe it in. But I’ve learned that not everyone gets a fairy tale, even though I did get Rae, and that little girl means everything to me. “Are you still in love with him?”
Her question has me choking on my hot chocolate. It isn't often someone brings up my ex-husband Paul, and it’s a quick way to send my brother into a pissy mood. Even Rae doesn't ask about him. I’m not sure she remembers much. She was young, and I tried to shield her from him as much as possible. I’m not sure what I’ll do if she asks about him. When we were married, he was never around, only wanting the money and power that came with my family.
To this day, everyone still thinks Paul is her father.
What do I tell Rae when she asks about her “father”? Is it better to think her father was a one-night stand that up and disappeared, or the man I was married to once upon a time that never showed her any attention? Paul dropped off the earth after the divorce, and I’m sure my brother has something to do with that. Dasher pulled me from that hell I’d been stuck in and saved both Rae and me.
“No.” I pick up the napkin and wipe my mouth. “I was never in love with Paul,” I admit to Eve. I’ve never even told my brother that. I called him one night and said I wanted out and I couldn't do it anymore.
I had Rae, but I’d felt so alone. After we lost our father, Mom soon followed. It was the darkest time in my life, and Rae was the only thing that got me through. Dasher let himself fall into work, which was his own kind of darkness. Without hesitation, he was there cleaning up the mess I’d made.
“Oh.” She bites her lip, and I know she wants to ask something else. “Did you go through with it because you were knocked up?” she asks, trying to figure out why I married a man I didn't love. A few people thought that, and it made sense with how soon after the wedding I had Rae.
“I got pregnant on my wedding night,” I say, and it’s the truth. She only looks more confused, and I don’t blame her. Why else would I have married Paul? “It was a mistake. One I won’t make again, so you can put your list away.”
Her face falls. “Don’t let one asshole sour love for you.”
It wasn't only one. It was two, although I’m not sure I can call him an asshole because he might not know about Rae. Paul told me Isaac knew and wanted nothing to do with a whore that would fuck her husband’s brother on her wedding day. As much as I hated to admit it, it was kind of understandable. That said, Paul could have made that all up.
I hadn't felt like a whore that night. For a brief moment I thought fate had brought him to me. When his mouth came down on mine, I felt complete. I let go of everything and let myself get lost. I just had no idea how lost I’d gotten. I’d never seen Paul in such a rage, and everything came crashing down. As fast as I’d thought I found what I’d always been looking for, it was gone.
“I don’t think all of us are meant for love. At least not the soul mate kind. I’ve got Rae.” Eve’s face softens. She had her first baby only a couple of months ago. I won’t be surprised when she announces they’re expecting their second.
“I know you do. I just know what it’s like to feel alone.”
Eve lost her parents too. The only difference is she didn't have anyone else like I had Rae and Dasher. When I’d come to stay with Dasher, I didn't feel guilty about no longer having a father figure for Rae. He slipped right into the role for her, and I wonder if things will start to change now that he has his own family.
“Who’s on the list?” I ask, making Eve smile.
“Have you met Chris Kabler?” The name sounds familiar. “He’s an attorney.” My face must give away what I’m thinking. “He works for the state, not a slimy one.”
“Are you sure about that? I think he’s got his eye on politics,” my brother says, strolling into the kitchen. He’s got their son tucked in his arm with Rae following close behind. She’s taking being a new cousin very seriously. More than once since the baby got here she’s asked me to give her a brother or sister. “Why did you pick Kabler?” Dasher doesn't try to hide his jealousy, and Eve rolls her eyes.
I feel my own jealousy at the two of them. My brother needs Eve because she’s so good for him. I’ve never seen him this happy before. Sometimes it makes the longing for that kind of love almost impossible.
“Who?” Rae asks, coming over to me. I give her a kiss on top of the head as she steals my hot chocolate.
“No one,” I tell her. She looks up at me with those big blue eyes that are every inch her father’s. I can never look at her and not see him, but who am I kidding? I can’t close my eyes at night and not see him then either.
Eve moves the conversation back to the Christmas party. I'm sure she already has an invitation in the mail to this Kabler guy, and I should move on. I haven't even tried dating because there’s always something holding me back.
Something? I inwardly roll my eyes at myself. I know what that something is, and it’s Rae’s father. It feels so unfinished.
I worry my bottom lip between my teeth and think maybe it’s time I finish it for good. I’m just not sure how to do that without having to reach out to Paul. The last thing I need is to pull that man back into myself. He’s good about getting his hooks into people, then destroying them.
Chapter 2
Isaac
My driver pulls up to the estate, and I see the house is crowded. I tell him to wait for me as the valet opens my door and I step out. I wonder why the hell there are so many people here on Christmas Day, but the numbers will help me blend in.
I button my tuxedo jacket and take in the lights and decorations. The entire place is decked out for Christmas, and the snow we got earlier makes it look like something out of a magazine.
People are walking past me as they file into the house, and everyone is dressed in black tie. Not only is there a huge party here on Christmas Day, but it looks like a movie premier complete with red carpet.
When I get to the entrance, I see there’s someone at the door asking for names, and I move along the edge of the line. As I approach, I move to the right and into the shadows as a delivery from the catering crew is being taken in. I bypass the guys working and grab a crate of champagne glasses, using that to slip in the back. Once in the busy belly of the kitchen, it’s easy to sneak past the chaos and into the crowd at the back of the house. On the veranda they have heaters going and fire pits throughout to keep even the cold chill of the night from interrupting the party.
I grab a glass of wine from a nearby waiter and casually make my way around the party. There are dozens of Christmas trees, and every inch of the estate is decorated, making it more difficult to navigate than last time.
No, I can’t think about what happened the last time I was here. I can only think about what turns I made and which hall I wandered down. As I see the grand staircase, I remember that I didn’t go up this way but on the other side of the house. People smile at me as I pass them, and I nod politely, working my way through.
People are laughing, and there’s piano music somewhere in the distance, accompanied by a group singing Christmas carols. It’s hard to not wonder if I’ve somehow stepped into Santa’s workshop with how Christmas has exploded in here.
I’ve never liked this holiday, even as a child. I lost my mom when I was six, and Christmas was the last happy memory I had of the day. After that my dad married my step-monster, and they had my half-brother Paul, who was my living nightmare. My father died when I was in college, and I severed as many ties as I could with my father’s wife and Paul. But for whatever reason, my father put her in charge of my trust, and she loved to pull on the strings. Over the years I had to go out and make my own way in life because I refused to ask her for a dime, even though it was my money.
It took a long time, but we came to what I considered a quiet agreement. I would stay out of her life, and she would leave me alone. But I think over time she realized how much joy she took in tormenting me and liked to throw things my way. Like the invitation to Paul’s wedding. I wasn't planning on going, and I don’t think she expected me to show, but the thought of seeing the look on their faces when I strolled in late was almost too much to pass up.
That night didn’t go how I planned it. I wanted to piss my stepmother off and irritate my brother just with my presence, but then I saw…her. After Paul hauled me out of the room, he’d somehow gotten charges of international fraud brought up on me and my business. I was tossed in a cell without access to anything in the outside world, and it almost drove me mad.
Every now and then, Paul would visit just so I could see the look on his face. He was so fucking smug as he would come in and talk about his wife, and the whole time I remained silent. My stomach churned, and I’d want to throw up, but I refused to give him what he wanted. He wanted me to lash out and react to his taunts, but I gave him nothing. I would sit in my cell like the stone it was made out of and stare blankly at nothing.
I didn’t keep up with the days, because sometimes it would be too long between seeing light. I couldn’t even figure out what time of year it was for a long time until I’d catch a guard taking off a jacket like it was cold outside. There was a part of me that wanted to die in that cell, but then I’d think of her, of my Jillian, and my heart would somehow beat again.
Years passed, and I never thought that my time would end until two weeks ago. A guard came to my cell and swung the door open wide, telling me my time had been served. I didn’t understand any of it, but I wasn’t about to question it. The second I walked outside there was a car waiting with a note inside from my attorney. It said my stepmother was dead and my trust was broken, leaving me as sole owner of it. Whoever was paying to keep me here had run out of money, and the agreement to lock me behind bars was null.
I wanted to sit in the back of that car and weep, but I’d held on for so long that I wasn’t about to break now. Not when I was finally free.
After that it took me two weeks to get back home and figure out my next steps. I essentially had to bring myself back from the dead and then make some calls. If Paul thought he could get away with tossing me in a cell, then he had another think coming. I plan on tracking him to the end of the earth and making him pay for what he’s done. Once I find Jillian.
The set of stairs I remember are at the end of the hall, and I take them two at a time to reach the top. My heart pounds in my chest as the familiar hallway leads to the golden door at the end. I’ll never forget walking into that room, or being dragged away from it.
As if time is running out, I move quickly to it and grab the cool handle. I close my eyes and say a silent prayer as I swing it open with bated breath.
Every muscle in my body releases like it’s been held tense since the last time I laid eyes on her. Standing before me is my dark-haired beauty, my soul mate, exactly as I remember her. She turns around at the sound of my entrance, and her dark eyes widen as she takes me in.
My own eyes sweep down her tight black dress, and I feast on every inch of her. She’s as perfect as I remember, and I take a step toward her before the dream can fade away. I have to touch her, make sure she’s real before this all goes up in smoke.
“I-Isaac,” she whispers, and the sound of my name on her lips is like a healing balm on my damaged body.
A door opening to the right has me turning my head when I see a man come out of the bathroom.
“We better get back before people start to talk,” he says to Jillian before seeing me standing there. “Oh hey, I’m Chris Kabler.” He smiles brightly at me as he introduces himself then walks over to stand next to Jillian. My Jillian.
I watch in horror as he begins to put his arm around her. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I’m about to rip this castle apart, stone by stone.
Chapter 3
Jillian
I lean into Chris because otherwise I might fall over. He holds his hand out, but Isaac doesn't take it. “Okay.” He lets out a small laugh. In the short time I’ve gotten to know Chris, I’ve seen he’s good with people. Even with me, it felt easy to talk to him.
The conversation flowed easily, but there was no spark between us, and I’m pretty sure he felt the same way. I think we’ve been using each other tonight so we didn't have to fend off anyone else hitting on us because there was no way to miss how women were looking at him.
Isaac has come in and made it awkward, but Chris doesn't falter as he keeps smiling. He really is going to make a good politician one day. “I take it you two know each other?” he tries again, glancing between Isaac and me, trying to read the situation.
“He’s my ex-husband's brother,” I manage to say when the silence starts to grow again. Isaac’s nostrils flare at the mention of his brother. I take it they still aren't on good terms.
What the hell is he doing here after all this time? I reach up and touch my neck as my heart r
aces. A million possibilities bloom in my mind, the main one being Rae.
“Paul?” Chris doesn't hide his distaste for my ex. “Do you need a minute or…” He trails off, asking if he should stay, letting me know he’ll follow my lead. To be honest I’m not sure what to say. I’m still leaning into Chris, afraid my knees might give out. How many times have I dreamed of Isaac showing up again?
“We need a minute,” Isaac gets out through clenched teeth. Whatever reason he’s here tonight, it’s clear it’s over something he’s angry about. It only makes my heart pound harder.
Isaac looks edgier than I remember, and there’s no softness to his eyes. In fact, they don’t look as bright as they once did. I know because I’m reminded of it every day when I look into Rae’s eyes. Chris doesn't move as he waits for me to say something.
“I really think we should all get back to the party,” I say, trying to buy time. Time for what, I have no idea. This isn't something I can really run from. He’s Rae’s father, and I wouldn’t keep him from her if he wants to be involved in her life. Maybe that’s why he’s here, and why he’s angry.
“All right,” Chris agrees.
We’d only stepped into my wing to get away from the crowd of people for a moment. He needed to use the bathroom, and I wanted to change out of my heels because they’d been killing my feet.
Chris tries to move us past him, but Isaac’s hand flies out to grab Chris by the upper arm. We stop dead, and Chris looks into Isaac’s eyes. “Don’t.” His tone is low and filled with warning.
Eve was right when she said she thought Chris was a good one. At least from what I’ve seen. That said, I did marry Paul and sleep with Isaac within moments of meeting him. Maybe I’m not the best judge of character.
