by K. C. Lynn
The thought has me close to tears again. “I need some air.” Standing, I head out onto the front porch, pulling the blanket tighter around me and resting my head on the large white column, staring out at the dark night.
It’s not long before the door opens behind me. I don’t have to look to know it’s Thatcher; his strong presence is unmistakable. He comes to stand next to me, placing a worn hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, child. I shouldn’t have let you leave.”
My heart pinches in my chest, hating the regret in his voice. “It’s not your fault either, Thatcher. It’s no one’s fault but theirs.”
“I know, but it could have been avoided if I hadn’t let you go. Or we could have had Gwen come here. Then I could have protected you both.”
At the mention of Gwen, I turn toward him, the dim light of the porch offering a small glow. “She told me everything,” I whisper, unable to hold back.
Sadness grips his face, transforming his expression to one of shame, and it shatters my broken heart even more.
“Why didn’t you tell us what they did to you?”
“What good would have come of it? What’s done is done. None of us can go back and change it. It’d only hurt y’all, especially my boys, and they’ve had enough pain to last them a lifetime.” His tone is so strong and protective; the love he has for his sons radiating through every word.
“Why didn’t you ever retaliate?” My curiosity gets the better of me and I have to ask. Have to know why he would let them get away with hurting him so badly. “You’re stronger than them, you could have taken them on if you really wanted to.”
“If I had killed Forrest then where would that have left Gwen? She made her decision, despite my objections.”
“She didn’t love him. She did it to protect you.”
“And I didn’t do it to protect her,” he says, an almost sad smile spreading across his lips. “Our relationship wouldn’t have been approved by anyone and we would have just faced more obstacles. I was more than willing to fight for that, but she was too afraid. I didn’t like it but I understood it.”
“She still loves you so deeply,” I tell him, hating the way things ended so tragically for them.
He doesn’t seem all that surprised by my admission. “Some love never dies, no matter how much time has passed. I’m sure you understand that better than anyone.”
I nod, thinking about how six years between Justice and I never changed my feelings for him.
“As hard as it was all these years, I wouldn’t trade them for anything, otherwise I may never have gotten my boys and they are everything to me. My whole life. So are you and Hannah.”
His sweet words have me blubbering all over again. I step into him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I’m sorry, Thatcher. So sorry for what they did to you. You’re the father I never had, and I wish you could have been mine from the beginning.”
“Oh, child,” he says, his voice gruff as he hugs me tight. “You and Hannah will always be my family, just like my boys. We’re going to get justice for that mama of yours too, all right?”
I nod, my beaten heart a mangled mess thinking about the woman I will never get to meet due to the evil of my father and Vivian. I refuse to call her my mother anymore because she’s not. She never has been and she never will be.
The sound of Justice’s truck driving up the gravel road has us breaking apart and relief swamping me. He parks halfway between the guesthouse and the main one before climbing out.
“Thank God!” Dropping the blanket from around my shoulders, I flee down the porch stairs and run toward him, but my quick steps falter when I see the amount of blood covering him. “Oh my god.” Fear takes me forward, my hands frantically searching him. “Where are you hurt?”
“It’s not my blood.” His voice is rough, weighted with burden.
My eyes snap up to his, an icy chill slithering over every inch of my skin. “Oh no,” I whisper, choking back my despair. “What did you do?”
He peers back at me, eyes haunted. Without a word, he drops to his knees before me, his arms wrapping around my waist as he buries his face in my stomach.
I hold him close, sobbing out my fear and worry.
Knox takes Thatcher into the house, leaving the two of us alone.
“I failed you,” he mutters, defeat heavy in his voice. “I’m so sorry I failed you.”
Seeing this powerful man on his knees before me, blaming himself for whatever thoughts he’s letting run through his head, absolutely guts me.
“You didn’t,” I tell him, forcing his tortured eyes up to mine. My hand touches the side of his face, fingers grazing his strong, stubbled jaw. “I never should have left. I should have waited for you.”
He shakes his head, insistent on shouldering the blame, but I refuse to let him.
“Come on, let’s get you inside for a shower.” Taking his hand, I lead him into the guesthouse where we have to step over the destruction of furniture that he left in the wake of his fury.
Once in the bathroom, I start the shower then begin peeling off his clothes before removing mine, needing to wash off the filth that Derek left on my body.
We step under the hot spray together, our arms instinctively wrapping around one another—skin to skin—heart to heart. Heat and steam envelop us, the dirty water swirling down the drain.
I breathe him in, soaking in his arms that I have desperately needed.
“He’s dead,” he reveals quietly. “He’ll never hurt you again, Ryanne.”
I should be horrified but I’m not. Deep down I knew. I’ve always known exactly what Justice would do when he found out. They’ve hurt so many, ruined so many lives that I can’t find an ounce of remorse.
“I’m going to get you out of here, too,” he continues, his deep voice rumbling from his chest and vibrating against my cheek.
I look up at him, drops of water slipping onto my face from his.
“I won’t make you stay here anymore. We’ll go back to Gold Creek or wherever you want.” His hand cups my cheek. “I love you, Ryanne,” he says, making my heart stall. “I promise to take care of you forever and never let anyone hurt you again.”
A sob rattles my body as he finally says the words I’ve longed to hear, words I feel all the way to my soul. “I love you too, so much,” I cry, hugging him close. “I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t.”
“But when the police find out…”
“Craig is handling it.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to question him further about that but when his arms pull me in close again, I decide none of it matters. Not in this moment. The only thing that matters is us, loving each other with this embrace until the water runs cold, each drop washing away the pain of our past and leaving a promise for our future.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Justice
“I sure am gonna miss ya, Papa,” Hannah says, her face pinched with sadness as she sits on my father’s lap in the living room.
“Awe, Hannah J., I’ll miss you too but we’ll still see each other. I’ll come visit real soon, I promise.”
Despite his assurance, you can tell this is killing him. I know the feeling. It’s killing me too but I also know it’s for the best. The last five days have been hard on everyone, especially Ryanne. I want to get her out of here and away from it all. She’s been hurt enough and I refuse to add to it by making her stay in a town where there is nothing but bad memories for her.
As least I will be able to leave with the peace of mind that justice has been served. Thanks to Gwen, the evidence Agent Jameson was able to collect has exposed the founding families for the ruthless bastards they are, not that it came as a surprise to the citizens of Winchester. There was even enough circumstantial evidence for the arrest of August and Vivian Lockwood for the death of Ryanne’s real mother, Abigail.
We have every intention of giving her the proper burial she deserves. Hopefully that will also give Ryanne some closure and she can put the bad
memories of her upbringing behind her so she can start focusing on the much happier future I intend to give her.
The town blew up over the news of Toder’s and Derek’s deaths. In the end, Craig came through for us and chalked it up to one of Derek’s shady dealings gone bad with Toder showing up at the wrong time. I assume most know it’s bullshit and probably even know who did it. A good reminder why to never fuck with our family.
Jameson was among the skeptics but never pressed the matter. By the time he saw the amount of shit those corrupt assholes had done he knew the world was better off without them. He ended up being a good guy and someone we can trust if we ever need the help again.
Craig has been appointed sheriff temporarily until the next election. I have no doubt he will come out on top and remain where he is now. He deserves it and Winchester will be a hell of a lot better off with him in charge.
Leaving the kitchen, I give my father and Hannah some time alone and head out onto the front porch where Knox sits alone, smoking a cigarette, looking like he’s about to come out of his skin. Guilt slams into me knowing I’m the cause of it.
I light up a cigarette of my own and take the spot next to him, close enough that our shoulders touch, a small sense of comfort washing over me. Brax and I always try to make it a point since we know it’s the only form of contact he gets.
“All packed up?” he asks, his gaze remaining on the flat land before us.
“Yeah.” The one word is all I can manage at the moment, the tightness in my chest restricting my throat.
“I get it, you know.” He takes a long drag of his cigarette, his eyes continuing to avoid mine. “I didn’t before but I do now. I saw it in the way you were with her that night. Ryanne is good for you and your family has to come first.”
“You’re my family, too,” I tell him. “Nothing will ever change that.”
He finally looks at me, revealing just how hard this is for him, the demons he fights daily exposed and punching me in the gut.
I hook a hand behind his neck, reeling him in close. “I’m here for you, man. You hear me? We might not be fighting those demons the same way anymore but it doesn’t change the fact that I love you and I’m here for you. Always, Knox. Brothers forever. Got it?”
He nods, expression solemn. “Yeah, I got it.”
Braxten steps out the front door just then, wearing nothing but his boxers, stretching and yawning. “What are you pansies up to out here?”
“Where the fuck are your clothes?” I ask. “My kid is inside.”
He smirks, lifting a brow. “Scared she’s gonna find out I have more muscles than you?”
I grunt, unamused by his smart ass, but have to admit I’ll miss him, the both of them, a lot.
He takes the spot beside me. “So you’re really leaving us, huh?”
“I’m not leaving you. I’ll be back to visit and you guys can come see us. I think you’ll like it there,” I say, though I’m not sure whom I’m trying to convince more, them or myself.
“Maybe but it’s not home.”
The word hangs between us, a reminder of just how much everything has changed. My brothers will always be my family and this my first home, but I have another family now and my home is wherever they are. I’ve never been more certain about that but it doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye.
“I wanted it to work here,” I tell them, “I really did, but I can’t put Ryanne through any more. Everything changed after that fucker…” My words trail off as I find myself unable to say it, unable to think about it. If I could kill the bastard all over again I would.
“Hey, man, we understand,” Brax says. “It sucks but we get it and we want her to be happy, too. I’m just glad that fucker is burning in hell somewhere.”
“Along with Toder,” Knox grits. “I wish I could have made him suffer before driving that bullet into his skull.”
He and I both. If we had any idea those bastards were the ones responsible for the scars my father bears, bullets would have flown long ago, which is probably why he never told us. Over the years we asked, especially the first time we saw him without his shirt on and realized just how deep those scars ran. He was always tight-lipped about it. In the end we figured they came from the short time he was in the military, something he rarely spoke about.
Now that we know the truth, we’re left wondering why he never killed them from the start. It’s a conversation we will eventually broach with him, but for now, the last week has been enough on us all, including my father.
The front door swings open and out runs Hannah. Both Knox and I hurry to put out our cigarettes as she jumps on Braxten’s back, arms wrapping around his neck. “Uncle Brax, why are you naked?”
He flips her over his shoulder, making her cry out in laughter as he lays her across his lap. “Why are you so pretty?”
“It’s just the way I was born,” she says, making us all chuckle before turning her face my way. “Daddy, can I go with Papa to say goodbye to all the animals before we leave?”
“Yeah, baby. Go ahead.”
“Thanks.” She sits up and lays a loud smacking kiss on my cheek then kisses her hand and places it on the side of Knox’s face before climbing off Braxten. “See ya later, alligators.” The words float behind her as she runs over to my dad, taking his hand and heading for the cows.
“Man, I’m really going to miss her,” Braxten says, his mouth set in a grim line.
I look over at Knox to see him touching the spot where Hannah’s hand just was, the emotions on his face as powerful as if she wrapped her arms around him, something she hasn’t done since that first night. It’s as if she senses his boundaries on her own, ones she’s been testing daily. It’s been good for him, but then again, she’s good for everyone.
Unable to sit here and wallow any longer, I clap Brax on the shoulder and stand. “I’ll be back, I’m going to check on Ryanne.” I leave them in silence, my feet taking me across the yard. As much as I would love to prolong the inevitable it will only make it harder.
Entering the house, I call out for her.
“I’m in the bathroom,” she answers, her voice muffled beyond the door. When she opens it, revealing herself, the heaviness that’s been weighing on me vanishes, everything righting in my world.
She’s all I need. Her and Hannah, and everything else will fall into place.
“You ready?” I ask.
She shakes her head, and it’s then I notice her troubled expression.
Concern has me pushing forward. “What is it? What’s wrong?” I cup the side of her face, careful of the bruise that mars her cheek. Her split lip is almost healed but the fading wound still has rage coursing through me every time I see it. We haven’t spoken a lot about what that bastard did to her. She hasn’t wanted to talk about it and I’ve respected that. Instead, we’ve been focusing on ourselves and getting things back to the way they were.
“I don’t want to leave,” she reveals, gazing up at me softly. “I want to stay and make this work, and I know you do, too.”
If I knew her quietly spoken words weren’t for my sake, I’d be happy right now but I know better. I know exactly why she’s doing this. “We talked about this and the decision has been made. I’m not going to force you to stay here any longer.”
“You’re not. I mean it, Justice, I really want to stay. I’ve been thinking a lot about it the last few days,” she says. “Hannah is happy here. She’s already made a friend in Amelia and I have one in Jessica. Something I haven’t had in years. And your family—our family,” she corrects herself, “I don’t want to leave them behind.”
I search her face, her honesty staring back at me. “Where’s this coming from? What changed your mind?”
Biting her lip nervously, she grabs something off the counter and hands it to me. A white stick with two pink lines appearing in a small window.
“What’s this?” I ask, staring down at it in confusion.
“A pregnancy test.”
A small smile claims her lips, the most genuine one I’ve seen on her in days. “I’m pregnant.”
It takes a moment for what she says to register, but once it does I sink to my knees before her, my hand slipping under her tank top and smoothing over her flat stomach. “My baby is in here?” The question barely makes it past my throat.
She nods, tears forming in her eyes.
I lean in, pressing my lips to her soft skin. I’ve never wanted to worship and cherish a part of her body more than I do in this moment.
“This is why I want to stay,” she says, fingers sifting through my hair. “I want to raise our family here. I want our children growing up with their uncles and grandfather close by. I want to erase the bad memories of this town and create beautiful ones…with you.”
Every word conveys exactly what I want too, it’s all I’ve ever wanted. For my family to be in one place. There is only one more thing that would make this perfect…
“Marry me,” I say without hesitation, quickly pushing on before she can deny me again. “Marry me because I love you and I want to spend my life with you. I want you to walk around this town with my last name, wearing my ring, and carrying my babies. I want every person to look at you and know you’re mine.”
Tears fall down her cheeks as she rests her hand on the side of my face. “I’ve always been yours,” she whispers, eyes sincere.
“Then say it.” My fingers grip her hips. “Tell me you’ll marry me.”
I wait with an imprisoned breath, praying she finally says what I’ve been wanting to hear—what I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for her to say.
“Yes,” she rushes out quietly, another smile spreading across her lips. “Yes, I will marry you.”
The air releases from my chest in one swift motion, relief flooding me. “It’s about fucking time.”
Her laughter drifts through the air but is effectively cut off when I climb to my feet and claim her mouth, the taste of her seeping into my heated blood and rushing through my system like the sweetest drug.
