by Jan Graham
“Look at me.” he commanded. She didn’t raise her head completely but instead lifted it slightly and looked at him though upturned eyes. “I’ll ask the question again, and this time I expect an answer. Do you understand me, Rhia?”
“I don’t understand anything.” She spoke quietly, finally raising her head and staring directly at him once more. “I know things, I feel things, but I don’t understand them.”
Not the answer he expected, definitely not the one he wanted. A simple yes would have been more to his liking. Yes would have allowed him to respond by saying something benign like good and enabled him to walk away with the satisfaction he had made himself clear and she had agreed. Instead he was locked less than an inch from her body, staring at confused and desperate eyes.
“What do you know, Rhia?” He didn’t need to add and feel because the evidence spoke for itself, he sensed it through the proximity of their bodies.
“I know I like you. I know my body wants to be close to you. I know that I want to touch you.” Rhia closed the minute distance between them and placed her hands on his chest.
He stare at the fingers splayed across his pectorals and hissed in a silent breath. “Is there anything else?” He maintained the firmness in his voice but couldn’t conceal the husky note of desire it now contained.
“I know that you are the only man to make me feel this way. I want to have sex with you.” Her hands moved tentatively across the expanse of his chest. “I need to have sex with you.”
Steve took hold of her hands as they began to move toward his shoulders. His resistance was about to shatter. He had to remove himself from the heat of her body, her touch. He stepped back, gripping both hands at the wrist and holding them together. With her hands, now bound by his, held in midair between them, she stared at them but didn’t try to move.
“I said that wasn’t possible, and I mean it.”
Her gaze snapped up toward his face, the flash of irritation filling her eyes once more. “Then perhaps you might like to let go of my wrists. I have things I need to do, and I’ll obviously be doing them myself.”
He released his hold on her hands and smiled as he glanced toward the dining table. “I did like the little seduction routine by the way. Did Rose do that with Harley?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Rose didn’t need to seduce Harley. He was quite capable of realizing his own desires and taking what he knew was his.” She moved toward the dining room table. “Harley didn’t care that Rose was a virgin. He loved the thought that he was the only man she had ever been with and would ever be with. He didn’t care that Rose didn’t know anything about sex. He was happy to teach her. But then, as you told me yesterday, Harley and Rose aren’t real, and we are.”
She stared down at the menagerie of sex toys on the table. Rhia hadn’t given him a simple answer to his question, and he suddenly understood why. She didn’t understand. She thought this was about her virginity, about her innocence. She didn’t comprehend this was about him. That if he let himself become involved, she would be taken to a place that might not be right for her. His desires and needs could damage her. She hadn’t experienced sex. How could she willingly consent to being dominated, punished, and trained in submission if she had no idea what her own sexual needs were?
He was holding himself back to protect her, to allow her to go on her own journey of self-discovery, not because she was a virgin, but because she needed someone other than him to teach her. He walked over to join her at the table.
“Not a bad collection you have here. Did Angel and Meg help you pick them?”
“Yes.”
“And they helped pick the corset you’re wearing?”
“Yes.”
Great, now she starts with the yes answers.
She picked up a Slimline vibrator, turned the control at the base and watched the phallic plastic tube vibrate against her hand. Steve wondered why she had chosen that particular item to look at and test. It was basically just a slightly pointed tube with a vibrate function. She had far more impressive toys before her, items designed to stimulate multiple erogenous zones at once, toys that didn’t require manual assistance to work.
“This should do just nicely. In fact, I think it’s perfect.” She turned to look at Steve and smiled. “I’m going to be busy for a while. You can either go home or stay and wait if you like. I’m not bothered either way, but remember to lock the door behind you if you go.”
Steve grabbed hold of her upper arm just as she turned to walk away. “Tell me what you think that is perfect for. What are you planning to do?”
He didn’t know why he was even asking. Whatever she did with the toys on the table was none of his business, and he knew it. He had made it perfectly clear to her that he wasn’t going to fuck her. She had made it clear she didn’t care what he did.
Now Steve didn’t understand. He must be a glutton for punishment where Rhia was concerned, because he didn’t want to go, but he knew he shouldn’t stay.
“I’m going to take off my annoying G-string, sit in the bath, and get rid of the bothersome little veil of skin inside me. You know the one that only characters in romance novels like, the thing that modern man seems so repulsed by.”
“Why the hell would you want to take your virginity with that thing? I won’t allow it.” Steve reached for the vibrating stick, but Rhia wiggled out of his grip and dashed away from him.
“You had your say a little while ago. You don’t have a say now.”
“If this is an attempt to get me to fuck you, then it won’t work. I don’t appreciate people playing games with me, Rhia, so you can stop right now.” He raised his voice, not even trying to hide his anger.
The thought of anyone losing something so special at the end of a sex aid horrified him. The loss of virginity should be special, a positive experience between two people who had feelings for each other.
“I’m not playing a game with you. You made your choice, and I respect that. I would appreciate if you would respect my choice in return. I admit, it isn’t the ideal way to do it, but nevertheless it has to be done.”
“Why? What’s so urgent that you can’t wait until you meet the right man?” Steve tried not to think about the fact that her eyes glistened. If he made her cry again he’d never forgive himself.
“I’m doing it for selfish reasons. I’m doing it so that I’ll never be in the position again, where I receive a bunch of flowers that says, I’m sorry I made you cry, but I can’t be with you, because you’re too innocent and pure.”
Steve tried not to flinch at the verbal blow she’d delivered. He needed to make her understand innocence wasn’t his reason for not fucking her. He stared at the toy in her hand and his stomach lurched. She was right. He had no say in anything she did. Not if he meant the words he’d just said, and he did. A plethora of emotions suddenly ramped through his body. They engulfed him, the violent rush threatening to topple the walls he’d erected around himself after Kathy’s death.
What the fuck was he going to do now? The sudden realization was both frightening and confusing. Why did he care how Rhia lost her virginity? Apart from being an impersonal act, the use of a toy shouldn’t bother him. It obviously didn’t bother her.
“Give me the vibrator, Rhia.” The words contained more fury than he intended as he stalked toward her.
He took the offending item from her trembling outstretched hand and glared at it. Hatred for the toy welled in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to smash it into a million pieces as the thought of it being inside her hot, tight hole, instead of him, filled his head
Jesus Christ, he’d finally lost his mind. He was jealous of a vibrator.
Chapter Nine
Rhia tried to work out what was going on. The way Steve looked at her vibrator, she got the distinct impression he wanted to kill it. She tried to hide the fact she was trembling. She’d never experienced the feelings coursing through her. All she knew for certain was…it wasn’t fe
ar. As Steve’s voice became, deeper, firmer, and more commanding, it elicited an unexpected reaction as her arousal flared to new heights. The powerful stance of his body as he addressed her and the imposing way he strode toward her caused an eruption in her body she hadn’t experienced before. She had been attracted to Steve from the moment she’d first seen him, but this was different, it was more…primal.
“God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Steve stuck the vibrator in his back pocket and reached for her.
“I’m not scared.”
Steve’s eyes narrowed as he looked at her, and he once again folded his arms across his chest and stared down at her. The look was intense, as if he was trying to see inside her. “Then why are you trembling? Why did you step away from me as I went to touch you?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t know what it is, but for some reason I’m nearly as aroused as I get when you kiss me.” Rhia backed up another step until she was resting against the living room wall. “You’ve probably been too close to me, for too long. So it might be time for you to leave.”
With the corset restricting Rhia’s chest and her breasts already tender and swollen, her nipples raked the leather at each attempted intake of breath. Rhia was sure, if she looked, her inner thighs would be wet from the moisture flowing out of her vagina, the thin G-string probably already soaked. As she watched Steve, his gaze roving up and down her body, smoldering with lust, Rhia recognized something other than her arousal. As the new feeling rose, she wondered which of them would kill her first, arousal or anger.
She was a powder keg ready to explode. How dare he be so stubborn? He hadn’t once tried to hide the erection underneath those jeans, and he didn’t look the slightest bit uncomfortable that his body reacted in a similar way to hers. Rhia’s fist clenched tightly and her vagina throbbed. If she knew what swear word to use right now, she’d give Steve a mouthful. How could he be so arrogant and rude and uncaring of the fact that he sent her body into this kind of turmoil?
“What do you intend to do when I leave, Rhia?” He hadn’t moved, hadn’t changed his deep, husky, too-sexy tone of voice. He just stood there, arms folded, looking arrogantly in control of himself, while she melted against the wall.
“None of your business.” She tried to look nonchalant, but instead she sounded like a child about to throw a tantrum.
“I’m making it my business.”
“Okay then, I intend to figure out how to use those toys, and hopefully feel a little saner when I’m done. Then I’m never going to see you or speak to you again.” She resisted the urge to stamp her foot. “I don’t like you anymore. I don’t like what you do to me, and I especially don’t like that superior look on your smug face.”
The tenuous emotional and physical balance suddenly shifted, and Rhia found herself swept away by a sudden rage. She pressed up to a standing position from the wall and met Steve’s amused stare. She planned to tell him off, and if by chance a swear word came into her head she intended to use it. “So now you think this is funny?” she snapped.
“I haven’t said a word. I just asked a simple question.”
“You arrogant, obnoxious, self-absorbed pig. How dare you find this amusing? The only thing you’ve accomplished since I met you is making me horny and then leaving me hanging. You’re just a tease. I don’t know why I ever thought I was attracted to you. And I don’t know why you keep denying that you’re attracted to me. I can see that big thingy under your jeans. I know you like me. Most men would love to have sex with me, but not you. No, you’re so holier than thou and in control that you simply refuse to even consider it.”
Rhia took a deep breath. Steve hadn’t moved, hadn’t even looked like he was being affected by what she was saying, he just maintained the bemused expression on his face. An expression she now hated. “Don’t you have anything to say about what I just said?”
“You called my cock a thingy, albeit a big one. So that means you’ve noticed me.” Now he had a wry smile accompanied his amused look.
“That’s it? At least I’ve noticed you have a big…” Rhia waved her hand toward Steve’s groin. She tried to say the word penis, but it just didn’t feel right.
“Say thingy again and I’ll put you over my knee and spank you. It’s a cock and it gets hard every time I think about you or see you. So that then makes it a hard-on or an erection, whatever term you prefer.”
“I don’t prefer any of it. Now give me back my vibrator and go away. You’re annoying, and I don’t like how you make me feel.” She stamped her foot, folded her arms and tried to replicate his intimidating pose. Given the look on Steve’s face, she realized she wasn’t having the desired effect.
“You are too beautiful for your own good, especially with that pout on your lips.” Steve turned around and walked over to the table. “I’ll go, Rhia, if that’s what you want.”
The audacity of the man! If she wanted it? He knew she didn’t want that. She wanted them to have sex. She just didn’t know how to make that happen. It took a few seconds for what he was doing to register. He inspected each of her toys before putting them into one of the empty shopping bags. Why? By the time she walked over to the table and stood beside him everything except the finger tickler, toy cleaner and the vibrator he had in his back pocket had been bagged.
“I don’t want them in the bag.” Rhia attempted to take the bag from him, but he quickly held it out of her reach. “What are you doing? Give me those.”
“I’m taking these with me. You can have that one until I decide what to do with you.” He pulled the slim vibe from his back pocket and tossed it in with the other toys.
A new wave of anger rolled over her. “You’ve already decided what to do with me, nothing! So give me the damn bag, or I’ll call the police. You can’t take my toys. It’s stealing, and you know it.”
She realized calling the police was a redundant threat, but she couldn’t come up anything more effective. He wouldn’t want his work colleagues knowing he was a sex toy thief. The fact Steve was now laughing did two things. One, it told her he wasn’t taking her seriously, and two, it made her angrier. She stormed over to the coffee table and picked up the telephone handset. Darn it, she couldn’t call the emergency service, and she didn’t know the local station number. A flash of brilliance shot into her mind. She quickly hit auto dial. Steve cocked an eyebrow and looked at her suspiciously. Well, he wouldn’t have to wonder too much longer.
“Hello, Barry. No, I’m not fine. Steve is here, and he’s trying to steal my sex toys that Meg helped me buy today.” The expression on Steve’s face changed, but not to the expected panic she’d imagined it would. Barry could put fear into anyone, and no one argued with him. Obviously, Steve didn’t realize that. He stood shaking his head at her, and the wry smile was back. It wasn’t until Steve’s mobile rang, that she realized Barry wasn’t on the phone with her anymore. In fact, apart from the initial alarmed sounding “What!” Barry hadn’t spoken to her.
“Barry…Yeah, I’m stealing her sex toys…no, I’m not having sex with her…Yes, she knows I’m not impotent…Meg and Angel…today I think…she told me she was going to take her virginity with them…I know, she’s being particularly difficult…well, you take care of Meg’s involvement and leave the situation with Rhia to me…no problem, happy to help.”
Once the initial flush of embarrassment over the conversation Steve and Barry had engaged in subsided, Rhia silently admitted defeat. Walking over to the table, she picked up the finger tickler. It really was a strange looking thing, and the thought of trying to use it did nothing for her. She took hold of Steve’s hand and placed it in his palm, closing his fingers around it.
“You can have that one as well.”
Rhia returned to the sofa and flopped down on it, emitting a loud sigh as she did so. Rhia hadn’t really been going to use any of the toys. Not understanding how to use them wasn’t the point. She didn’t have any desire to use them. She wasn’t even sure why she’d purc
hased them.
Because you’re horny, because you need them, that’s why.
No, she didn’t need toys. What she needed was Steve, and clearly he decided not to let that happen. At this point, all she could do was learn how to cope with her body’s reaction to him and hope that, over time, it went away. Unless something changed dramatically, they’d hit in a stalemate, deadlocked and sitting on opposing sides of a sexually charged fence.
She sensed Steve moving and hoped he would leave quietly. She sat staring at her hands resting on her lap. Once he got out the door, she’d throw away the flowers, bundle up the romance novels to return to Angel, take a cold shower and maybe have a short little weep. Then she’d sulk with the tub of chocolate ice-cream stashed at the back of her freezer.
It’s not really a perfect plan but it’s better than nothing.
The sofa dipped next to her, and she allowed herself to fall against Steve’s body. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his side. What harm would it do? She lived in a perpetual state of arousal whether he touched her or not so it couldn’t get much worse. The fact that she wouldn’t explode in flames had become obvious while she yelled at him and the other certainty appeared to be that nothing would take away the ache between her legs, not even a bout of grumpiness.
Without looking at him, she curled into Steve’s side. Her hand rested against his chest, she listened to his heart beating, its rhythm steady and controlled, like him. She didn’t want Steve controlled and steady. She wanted the Steve from yesterday morning, devouring her mouth, feeling her body, his hands kneading into the flesh of her thighs and bottom, his erection pressed between them. She let out a long, slow breath, and moved her legs and bottom slightly. It didn’t relieve the pressure of the G-string sitting tightly over her labia. It only made the situation worse. The exhale turned into a small moan that escaped her lips as she rested against him once more. Maybe it was best if she just sat still.
