by Molly McLain
She abandoned the work on the top of her dress in favor of fisting his hair, but that only lasted a few seconds before he looked up at her with smoky eyes and pulled his mouth away, his lips damp.
“Tits out, babe. I wanna see you touch yourself.”
Jesus. “I hate you.”
“You fucking love me, and you’re gonna love me even more when I’m through with you.” With that, he lifted her up and slid her ass closer to the edge of the counter. She yelped and yanked down the cups of her bra, desperate for more of whatever he had in mind. “Ah, now you’re catching on.”
How could she not? He was planted between her legs, his tongue just millimeters away from giving her an incredible orgasm. All other thoughts...all other worries...melted away to nothing but the two of them in that moment.
She’d do anything for him and if distracting himself with sex was what he needed, so be it. She leaned back on one hand and used the other to cup one breast and stroke her soft nipple into a hard peak. It felt good. Better because, as he watched her fingers play, he’d begun to play himself. He slipped a finger inside and spread her moisture over her clit, only to lean in and suck it off, over and over again, like he couldn’t get enough.
When he growled his approval, her clit between his lips, she saw stars. Fucking stars. How did she deserve this man who got off on making her happy just as much as he got off on coming himself?
Realization blindsided her like headlights coming out of nowhere in the middle of the night.
This was the real deal, wasn’t it? Her and Brody.
Neither of them were perfect. Neither of them had a clue what the right move was, but just the same, neither was willing to give up trying. Together, they shared a single-minded determination to make the other happy, no matter the cost. Two imperfect people who saw through each other’s scratchy surfaces to the real gems inside.
She flew with that newfound knowledge lighting her up from the inside out. Brody wasn’t just her person...
He was her forever.
And she’d fight to the death for him.
Chapter Nineteen
She was too damn good for him. He’d known it from the beginning, but she sealed the deal tonight when she set aside all the worry in her pretty head and let him have his way with her.
She was giving him exactly what she’d sworn she’d never given another man, but yet she’d handed it to him on silver fucking platter, right alongside her heart. He should’ve given it back. Told her to save that part of herself for someone who wouldn’t use her, because that’s exactly what he was doing right now. Using her to pretend he wasn’t as messed up as they both knew he was.
But he didn’t tell her that. Nor did he pretend he didn’t see the truth in her eyes as he carried her to the bedroom, tumbled them onto the bed, and stripped that pretty dress from her body.
She felt for him what he felt for her and when all hell broke loose—because it would...he could already see it on the horizon—that affection would destroy her. Just like it would destroy him.
“Take me like you want me tonight,” she whispered, her fingers soft against his lips as he shed his clothes and levered down above her. “I can handle it.”
Probably. But if he let loose entirely, it wouldn’t be pretty. He wouldn’t taint her with that side of himself. Not now, maybe not ever.
“Brody, look at me...” She shifted his chin so she could look in his eyes and what he saw in hers nearly broke him. “I’m yours. Every bit of me. Always.”
She said that now, but she had no idea the shit he was capable of.
“I’m not some fragile flower. You’ve got something to work out, work it out on me. Please.”
Fucking hell. “Jenn...” He glanced away, but she jerked his face back around, her fingers digging into his jaw. That’s when he saw the tears in her eyes. Saw the full magnitude of what she was offering and how desperate she was to give it.
“Fuck me,” she begged. “Own me.”
His cock throbbed against his stomach, craving exactly that. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“The hell I don’t.” She reached down and wrapped her hand around his dick, tugging hard. He growled and ground his hips into hers.
“Keep jerking me like that, babe, and you’ll bring out the monster.”
A wicked grin slashed across her face and she squeezed him until it fucking hurt. Of course, that just made him harder and, in a second, he had her knees at her ears, his cock poised at her pussy.
“You like fucking with me, sugar?” He slid the tip of his dick inside, just to taunt her.
“I love fucking with you,” she said, enunciating every syllable, using her muscles to try and urge him in further. He resisted. Barely. Instead, he pulled out and slapped his piercing against her clit. She gasped, her eyes never leaving his. “Do it again.”
“No. This is my show, remember?” To prove his point, he shifted back and flipped her onto her stomach, the delicate nodules of her spine leading him like a trail of bread crumbs to her perfect, heart-shaped ass. Kneeing his way between her legs, he spread her open before him. The light from the hall hit her sex just right, the evidence of how wet she was for him glistening in the darkness. Fucking beautiful. Every last bit of her.
“Is that what you want?” She lifted slightly, wiggling those glorious cheeks back at him and rubbing against his cock as she did.
Yeah, he’d have her ass someday. But not tonight. Not entirely anyhow.
Still, he reached back and grabbed the lube from the nightstand, drizzling it between her cheeks and then using his fingers to make sure she was really ready for him. He was inside a second later, buried to hilt in the hottest pussy he’d ever had. But with Jenny, he’d never be deep enough.
Maybe she thought the same, because she pushed up on her hands and began to rear back with every punishing thrust. She was still too far away for his liking, so he fisted her hair, pulled her all the way up, and kissed her, swallowing the sexy little sounds she made when he slammed in hard.
“More,” she panted against his lips. “Harder.”
Christ, she was unreal, and exactly what he needed right now. Winding her hair tighter around his fist, he jerked back and her cry became a long, low moan as he bit at her pretty neck and then licked the pain away.
With his free hand, he guided her fingers to her clit and showed her how he wanted her to touch herself—hard and direct—because it wasn’t going to take him long at all. At least not once he took what he really wanted.
“More, babe? You sure?” he rasped in her ear as he withdrew and then slid in so fast, she came off the bed with a gasp and a plea.
“Dammit, Brody, please!”
He grinned into the curve of her shoulder and covered the small of her back with his hand, thumb down. With every slow, drawn out millimeter he shifted the digit downward, she melted a little more in his arms.
“Yes, baby,” she whimpered, her entire body trembling with need. “Do it.”
So he did. With every slap of his damp skin against hers, he thumbed her puckered hole, until her pussy clenched around him tight. Then he slipped inside just enough to make her launch. She pushed back all on her own, taking more of him than he’d intended to give and it was too fucking much, seeing his thumb disappear inside of her while she milked his cock like the greedy little vixen she was.
His eyes rolled back in his head and he gripped her hip tight, pounding into her as he came...and came...and came, filling her up with all he had.
The next few moments were a complete blur as they collapsed onto the bed, sweaty limbs tangled together as they fought for breath. And, in his case, sanity. How in the fuck had he gotten so lucky with her?
He brushed the hair off her forehead and pressed his lips to her heated skin. “You’re incredible.”
Her fingers floated over his stomach, dancing along his twitching abs. “Pretty incredible yourself. That was...intense.”
Sure was. “Didn’t hurt
you, did I?”
She shook her head. “Told you I could take it. And, for the record, you still held back.”
Yep. “I don’t want to taint you with my kind of debauchery. Pun intended.”
She snorted. “You know I’m not a virgin, right?”
Um... “Are we talking about the same thing?” Because he really didn’t want to think about some other dude taking her in the ass.
Pushing up, she rested her chin on his chest and looked him in the eye. “I’ve never gone all the way, but not for lack of wanting.”
Well, shit. “Really?”
Quirking an eyebrow, she shoved at his side with a playful glint in her eyes. “What kind of girl do you think I am?”
He caught her hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing her palm. “I mean, I’m surprised you’d want to. And, if that’s the case, why haven’t you?”
Her eyes went soft and curled into him again. “Same reason I never let a guy go bare before—trust.”
Goddamn. He stared up at the ceiling, a confusing mix of selfish-asshole and the luckiest-son-of-a-bitch-on-the-planet humming through his conscience. She trusted him. She’d said as much and she’d proven it over and over again. Her faith in him was a gift he wasn’t worthy of to begin with and now she wanted to give him something more? He couldn’t wrap his head around it.
“No rush,” she whispered before she pressed a soft kiss to his chest. “I just wanted you to know.”
He nodded and disentangled from her carefully...humbly. He needed a second to breathe. To gather his thoughts and figure out what the hell he was doing.
Jenny’s fingers trailed along his back as he got up. “Where you going, handsome?”
“Washcloth.”
“Hurry back. I miss you already.”
He closed his eyes and the haunting darkness clouded in like poison. Could he really be this guy for her? Could he really love her like she deserved?
Or had he been kidding himself all along?
Chapter Twenty
Their hummer bumped along toward a village in the Kandahar Province with Carson behind the wheel. Troy sat shotgun and Sam and Ernie planted ass on either side of Brody in the back, their M4s at the ready. Behind them, the truck was loaded with building supplies. Not a lot this trip because they needed to show the Afghani villagers their intent first. They weren’t here to blow shit up.
“You know what I can’t wait for?” Troy said from up front. “A piece of tail that doesn’t feel like a sandpaper glove.”
Sam snorted. “Dude, I told you doing Nelson was gonna leave you with a rash.”
Thud! Brody’s fist connected with the center of his buddy’s chest. “Says the guy who’s been eyeballing the goat.”
Troy’s eyes went wide and he pointed a warning finger at Sam. “Better watch your back, bro. That shit’ll get you lynched around here.”
Ernie snorted. “Y’all are fucked up. I don’t even care if she’s a little rough around the edges. As long as she’s soft, ya know? Real.”
Carson, the only married dude in the bunch, sighed. “Don’t I know it.”
“You getting kitty crazy on us, man?” Brody elbowed his buddy and Ernie pushed back.
“Hell yeah, I am. You can’t tell me this shit ain’t getting old for you too. You’ve done this three times now.”
“Yep. It’s what I signed up for.”
Ernie made a wry sound. “Not me, man. I’m over it. I want kids and shit. An old lady. This life ain’t gonna get me that.”
Brody grinned. “Well, I’ll be damned, Martin. There is a heart in that scrawny chest of yours.”
Ernie rolled his eyes and Troy pointed to a woman on the side of the road ahead. She carried what looked like a bucket of water and the hair at the back of Brody’s neck stood on end.
She wasn’t supposed to be there.
His heart began to pound like a jackhammer in his chest because he’d been down this road before. Too many damn times. Just a few feet ahead on the right...
“Stop the truck!” he shouted at Carson and this time, the sergeant actually followed command. Brody climbed over Ernie and hopped out. “Hey!” he called to the woman, but she kept walking. Faster even, which wouldn’t do because the IED was right goddamn there. Waiting. “Stop!” he called again and she came to a stumbling halt, thank Christ.
He rushed forward, gun in hand, surveying his surroundings as he went. Maybe this once he could actually change things. Save Ernie and Troy and now this woman, whoever she was.
“Hey,” he said again, putting his hand on her shoulder. She went stock still, her back straightening like an arrow. “I don’t know if you can understand me, but I want to help you.”
She nodded slowly and the heavy fabric of her chador lifted a bit from her face and, one glimpse at her profile, sucked the air from his lungs. That hair. Those eyes. That pale, pink skin...
“Jenny? What the hell are you doing here?” He grabbed her by the shoulders and jerked her around to face him. Tears shined in her dark brown eyes.
“You brought me here, Brody. You told me I’d be safe. That you wouldn’t hurt me.”
“I won’t.” He lifted a hand to smooth her hair from her cheek, but she stepped away.
“You will,” she whispered, then she pressed her fingers to her mouth and blew him a kiss.
“Jenny!” he called after her, but she kept walking backwards, inching closer and closer to that rundown shack. “Baby!” he screamed, still she kept going. Didn’t stop until—
“Brody!”
His entire body shook as the IED exploded. He didn’t see it go...didn’t see it take Jenny with it because he’d closed his eyes the second he realized he couldn’t save her. That he’d brought her demise on himself and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop it.
A strangled sob broke free in his chest and then gentle hands curled around his cheeks. Soft lips brushed against his and warm thumbs wiped the tears from his face.
“Shh, baby. I’m right here. I’m fine.” She kissed him again and he felt her heat like a comfortable blanket. Not at all like the searing fire that had clamped onto his leg in reality, just over a year ago.
He jolted awake and her face above him was as clear as it had been in his dream. The tears were there too. The fear.
And, just like that, he knew what he needed to do.
“See.” She tried for a reassuring smile, but her lips trembled too much to pull it off. “You were dreaming. I’m fine.”
He nodded and brushed her hand away to take care of his own fucking tears. Goddamn, had he really cried in front of her? Fucking unreal.
His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest and he levered up and swung his legs over the side of her bed. The clock beside the bed read five a.m.
“You okay?” Her hands and mouth were soft on his back, caressing and kissing him with more tenderness than he was equipped to deal with.
“Fine,” he said, clearing his throat and rubbing a hand back over his hair.
The truth was, he fucking needed her. She gave him something to look forward to when everything seemed like complete and utter shit. But she was the light to his darkness, and if he didn’t let her go, he’d suck every bit of life from her too generous soul. He’d destroy her.
He didn’t want to go at this without her, but he couldn’t do it with her either and, if he knew her at all, she’d go down swinging.
Not at him, but for him.
***
“Look, I know we talked about me staying until dinner, but I think I’m gonna head home instead. I’ve gotta be in Oklahoma again next week and I’ve got a lot of shit to take care of before I go.”
“Oh, okay.” Not okay at all. He was freaking out. Running. Not to mention, he’d tossed and turned all night. He’d be a walking zombie. “Is there something I can do? I mean, maybe I can come do laundry or—”
“No.” Short. Blunt. Cut-off. “I just...I need some space and I don’t wanna be a dick about it,
okay?”
She flinched, those words all too familiar. “Sure. It’s been a rough week.”
“It’s not...” He broke off with a grunt, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Look, I need some time, okay? I know I said I wouldn’t be that guy, but...”
That guy? No, she laughed to herself, he doesn’t mean it like that.
“Please don’t look at me like that.” He gave her a sidelong glance, unable to meet her eye and dread fell like a lead weight in her stomach.
Well, hell. He wasn’t that different, after all, was he?
“I told you from the get-go that I wasn’t the guy you thought I was and no matter how hard I try, I can’t be what I want to be for you.”
Her cheeks burned like he'd flicked acid at her, because there was humiliation and there was fucking humiliation. The one man she thought would never...
“Come on, Jenn, this shouldn’t come as a surprise.”
“You’re kidding, right?” She crawled off the bed and skirted around to stand before him, grasping onto whatever composure she could find. She had to be hearing him wrong. “I know this is hard, Brody. I get that losing your grandfather has set you back...maybe even to square one...but I’m not afraid of that. I—”
“I can’t be with you right now. It’s best for both of us if we just—”
“Ahhhhh!” she screamed, slamming her fist into her thigh as hot tears flooded down her face. This wasn’t Brody talking—this was fear and shame and guilt, and he was making rash decisions because he’d gotten so lost in his own head, he couldn’t think straight.
Didn’t matter that she knew exactly what he was doing—it still hurt. God, did it hurt for him to push her away instead of holding on even tighter.
“You weren’t supposed to do this,” she whispered.
“Babe...” He reached for her, the regret so clear on his face that she almost fell for him again.
“Don’t touch me. Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Me.” She rummaged around in her dresser for something to wear, but all she succeeded in doing was tossing everything out. She couldn’t see. Couldn’t think.
If he left, he might never come back.
