His arm was asleep under her head, but he didn’t care. In the depths of her eyes, he saw a glimpse of the woman he’d fallen in love with and would convince to take him into her life again.
“I’m so sorry,” she murmured.
“I know, baby. Me too. But it’s over now. And we’re going to learn to move forward. Together this time.” He clasped her head. “You’ll never go through anything like that alone again.”
“You can’t stay with me, Noah. I’m broken.”
He chuckled. “You’re just a little chipped. We’ll smooth the edges and heal the hurt.”
She shook her head, worrying him now. “No. You don’t understand. I’m…” She took a breath. “I can’t sleep with you. I mean, I can’t have sex with you.”
“Why not?” Had she suffered some kind of damage? That didn’t seem likely. He’d fingered her twice. He would have noticed if she’d had scarring or something. People had sex after miscarriages. Besides, if she’d had something to hide, she wouldn’t have let him near her tight warmth.
“Because it scares the hell out of me, Noah. I never want to experience something like that again.”
“Baby, people have miscarriages. Lots of women have at least one. It’s part of life.”
She shook her head. “Not like that. Not so violently.”
“Then we won’t have kids. If that’s what you want.” The idea made his chest tighten, but he’d do it for her if she was really that scared.
Her eyes widened. “We weren’t having kids that time either, Noah. We used protection. It went wrong. It can always go wrong.” Her words trailed off, and she tipped her head down so he couldn’t see her expression.
“So let me get this straight. You haven’t had sex with anyone for fourteen years because you were afraid you might get pregnant?” He tried to get her to look at him, but she didn’t budge.
“Basically. That and…”
“And what?” His confusion mounted.
“And they weren’t you.”
A smile spread across his face, and he blew out the longest, most relieved breath of his life. He was a pig for finding that endearing, but he couldn’t help it. “Well, I’m here now. And I’m definitely me. So, I think it’s time you consider how irrational that fear is and toss it overboard. Now’s a good time since we’re on a ship.”
She lay quiet for a long time, and he prayed to God he’d gotten through to her. It made his chest swell that she’d saved herself for him, but then again, that wasn’t what happened at all. She’d closed herself off from all men, including him.
Nevertheless, no matter how he sliced it, this precious woman he loved more than anything in the world had only had sex with him. And he was about to convince her she could do so again. And then he was going to convince her to marry him first chance they got. And then they were going to move in together and build a life. He figured he could surely talk her into a few kids if he nurtured her and got her some help and remained patient.
First, he needed to point out that she was a sexual being with a warped fear that she could overcome. He’d never seen anyone so vulnerable and expressive when they orgasmed. Maybe she would only respond that forcefully with him because she felt so deeply for him. They would never know because there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell she was ever going to find herself in another man’s arms, let alone his bed.
His chest swelled again. He needed to rein it in before he got a complex. Suddenly, he had an idea. He jumped to his knees, straddled her body, and pinned her to the bed on her back.
Her eyes were wide with the shock. The sheet fell away from her breasts, and she was in a tangle of towel and blankets, but he didn’t care. The knotted mess might work out in his favor if she tried to escape after he said what he was going to say next.
“What are you doing?” she asked, eyes wild.
“Marry me.”
She flinched. Her hands went to the sheets at her waist and tugged.
He grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. “Marry me.”
She shook her head. “That’s crazy. I just told you I wouldn’t even sleep with you, and now you want to marry me?”
“Yep. Now. Today. Before we get off this ship.”
“You’ve lost your mind. Is that even a thing?”
He shrugged. “I have no idea. We’ll find out. Say yes.”
She drew her eyes together. “That’s absurd.”
He shook his head. “Nope. It’s the most rational thought I’ve had all week. Marry me.”
“Did you miss the part about me not having sex with you?”
He rolled his eyes. “You are so totally having sex with me today. If it bothers you, we can do it now and get it over with. Or we can wait until after you’ve said I do, and I’ve stuck a ring on your finger.”
Laughter bubbled out of her throat. Not what he’d had in mind.
“Ellie, I’m totally serious.”
“You’re totally out of your head. We don’t even know each other that well.”
“That’s bullshit. Try again.”
“We don’t live in the same state.”
“Also a piss-poor argument since technically I don’t live in any state and can go wherever I want. And you just quit your job, so you too are free to make changes. If you want to live in New York, we’ll live in New York. If you want to move somewhere else, we’ll make that happen.”
She rolled her eyes. “You have such a tidy answer for everything.”
“Yes. You have more concerns? Throw them at me.”
“Noah, you can’t marry a woman you haven’t had sex with.”
“I’ve had sex with you lots of times, so nice try.”
She groaned.
He grinned, knowing he was wearing her down. If he wasn’t so totally confident she was head over heels in love with him and always had been, he wouldn’t pressure her.
They weren’t teenagers anymore. They were grown adults, committing to a life together here and now. They weren’t planning a distant future laid out irresponsibly in some randomly selected order through eighteen-year-old eyes. He wanted to marry her now. Today. There would be no tidy future plan. The pieces would fall into place. They would roll with whatever the universe handed them and be content that they had each other.
He knew her well. She wanted this as badly as he did. She just needed convincing. “What’s the matter? You run out of excuses.”
“I need food.”
He chuckled, reached across her body, grabbed the phone, and held it to his ear.
“What are you doing?” She looked worried.
A man answered. “Room service. Can I help you?”
He glanced at the clock, saw that it was just after noon, and spoke, “I’d like to order two cheeseburgers with fries.”
“Certainly, sir. We’ll bring that to your room right away.”
“Thank you.” He hung up the phone, returned his gaze to a stunned Ellie with huge eyes and an open mouth. “What else you got? Bring it on.”
Her face slowly softened until a small smile spread, and then she started giggling. Her giggles changed to full-on laughter that couldn’t be contained. She squirmed beneath him to free herself, which he permitted under the circumstances.
Her sexy naked body slid from the bed, and she reached into a drawer to pull out a pair of panties.
He watched her step into them and put them up, and then he wrapped an arm around her middle, leaned over, and snagged a thin white tank top. He handed it to her.
She glared at him.
He stepped between her and the drawers and gave her a gentle shove so she fell back to sitting on the bed. After taking the tank top out of her hand, he pulled it over her head. She at least lifted her arms to let him get it on straight.
“What are you doing, Noah?”
“That’s it. That’s all you get. You’re covered.”
She rolled her eyes.
He grinned and leaned down to kiss her. She looked fuckin
g hot in the white lacey bikini panties and the tight tank that hugged her tits perfectly. When he released her lips, he grabbed her waist and hauled her backward until she rested against the headboard.
She was fighting a smile.
There was a God.
He tossed the sheet over her legs so she would be halfway decent when he opened the door, and then he straddled her thighs and rested his butt on her knees, capturing her attention. “Do you want to wear one of the dresses you brought, or do you trust me to shop at the boutiques on the main level and buy you something?”
“For what?” She groaned as she caught his meaning. “Noah…”
“The word I’m looking for is yes.”
“The word you’re looking for is looney.”
He shrugged. “I’m okay with being a little looney. But you’re still going to marry me today.”
She chewed on her bottom lip, but she was fighting hard not to giggle. A smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “Karla and Layton would have a field day with this.”
He smiled. “They will. Yes. Knowing Karla, she’ll be pissed that she didn’t get to attend the wedding. But it’s all her fault, so she can be disappointed.”
“We can’t get married today, Noah. You’ve lost your mind,” she repeated.
“My mind is fine. Say yes.”
She shook her head. “Not a chance.”
He slid his hands up to her waist and tickled her.
She buckled forward, batting at his hands, laughing so hard it was refreshing after the rough, emotional morning they’d had. “Stop it,” she gasped, squirming under him even though he outweighed her by so much she would never succeed in escaping.
“Marry me. Say yes.” He stopped tickling her, held her waist, and stared into her eyes.
She wiggled beneath him, her sweet thighs making his cock jump to attention. She glanced down at his predicament and then slid her small hands to cup him. “We haven’t had sex, Noah.”
“We can fix that.” His voice was deeper, husky, hopeful.
She met his gaze. “I’m scared.”
“I know. But I’ll be with you.”
She smiled. “I should hope so.”
“You’re mine, baby. All I care about is ensuring you understand that we’re never separating from each other again. When we get off this ship tomorrow, we aren’t going our separate ways. Not even for a moment. We can go visit your parents for a few days and then mine and stop somewhere in that path to kill our friends or thank them…”
“You’re rambling.” Her smile was growing.
He leaned closer. “Say yes.”
“We don’t have to get married just to stay together.”
“Oh, that’s not why we’re getting married. We’re getting married because we should have done so fourteen years ago. We’re getting married because we love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together.”
She nodded slightly, though he wasn’t sure which part she was agreeing with. The fact that they should have done so already or the fact that they loved each other. He’d take either.
“I love you,” he whispered.
Smile.
“I love you,” he repeated.
“I love you too. You know I do.” Her voice was soft.
“Then marry me.”
She giggled.
A knock sounded at the door, and Noah jumped off her to retrieve their burgers. He took the tray, thanked the guy, and turned back around to find Ellie with the sheet pulled up her body. Good.
“I’m starving,” she admitted, dropping the sheet and curling her legs up under her. “Set that right here.” She pointed at the bed in front of her. “What are you going to eat?” she joked as she picked up one of the two burgers.
He snagged the other and settled on the edge of the bed. “This is just an appetizer. I didn’t think either of us would have the energy to get dressed to go in search of food. After we’re rejuvenated from this snack, we can go eat one of everything on the ship.”
She moaned around her bite and grabbed a fry. “How did I get this hungry?”
“Stress.”
“Yeah.” She stuffed more fries in her mouth.
He loved that she didn’t care about eating savagely in front of him.
He leaned over and wiped catsup from the corner of her mouth with a napkin.
She came back to life with each bite. She’d needed fuel more than anything after the morning they’d had.
They scarfed everything down in relative silence, and then he cleared the bed, set the tray on the desk, and climbed back over her. “Yes?”
“You’re relentless.”
“Not going to stop until you say yes.”
“What if I agree to marry you, but it’s not today?”
He shook his head. “It has to be today.”
“Why?” She furrowed her brow.
“Because I don’t want to wait another day or week or month. I want you to be mine now. You can’t escape me as easily if I slap a ring on you and you’ve signed the papers.
“I know you. You’ll come up with ten excuses tomorrow and put it off. Your mom will decide we need a big wedding and convince us to wait a year. Karla will pitch a fit and want to get involved. You’ll worry about your job and your hair and your dress and your apartment.”
She lifted a hand, palm out. “Okay. I get it. You’re right. Especially the part about my mom. The thought of planning a big wedding makes my stomach churn.”
He grinned. “See? It would be so much easier to show up and announce it’s a done deal. Flash the ring. Show everyone the license. Accept their hugs and congratulations. Done.”
“What ring? We don’t have a ring?”
“Ellie, there are ten jewelry stores on this ship that would love to sell me a ring today. Do you know how many people get engaged on cruise ships?”
“Ha.” She pointed at him. “Engaged. Not married.”
He reached down, gave her waist a jerk so she fell onto her back, and smoothed his hand up her body until he was cupping her breast.
She sucked in a sharp breath. “Noah…”
He flicked his thumb over her nipple, hoping to get her pliant enough to stop coming up with excuses. It might have been a cheating move, but the way her face softened told him he was winning.
“You can’t ply me with sex, Noah,” she said as she reached up to cup his face, her eyes glassy with lust, her lips parted.
He lifted a brow. “No?” He pinched her nipple lightly through the thin white tank. He could see the darkened tip through the material.
She moaned and rolled her head back.
“You’re so responsive to me, baby. Your body lights up when I touch you. You’re wet, aren’t you?”
She squeezed her thighs together under his gaze and bit into her bottom lip.
“Do you love me?” he asked.
“You know I do.”
“Say it.”
“I have.”
“Say it again.” He gently twisted that nipple back and forth.
She met his gaze again. “I love you so much it hurts.”
“Then marry me.”
“Okay, but on one condition.”
“Anything.” His heart pounded.
“Have sex with me first. I need to know.”
Breath whooshed from his lungs, and he dipped his face to capture her lips. He’d never been happier.
Chapter 15
Ellie thought she was losing her mind as she pulled him closer, easing her hands around to his back. She wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life. Now.
Noah lifted one knee and planted it between her legs. When his hand slid down to cup her pussy, she parted her legs even farther for him.
She could feel the heat and wetness against his palm. She shuddered, lifting her hips off the bed. A sudden urgency took over. After six days of fighting him off, she wanted him inside her immediately.
She was on fire. Burning from the inside
out. Her hands trembled as she reached for the button on his shorts.
He jumped off the bed and shrugged out of them so fast her head was spinning. As soon as he was naked, he bent over, rustled through a bag near the bed, and returned holding a foil packet between two fingers. And then he was there, over her again, jerking her shirt off and then dragging her panties down.
She reached for his hand. “Give me the condom. I want to put it on you.”
He handed it to her.
She tore it open and pulled it out. She’d done this before. Not as many times as him, but enough to know how it worked. She also knew there were no guarantees. She rolled it down his length, loving the power and thickness. The heat.
He cupped her face, forcing her to lift her gaze from his erection to his eyes. “It breaks, we deal with it.”
She nodded. He was right.
“Together.”
She nodded again. She shouldn’t be concerned. He loved her. If she got pregnant, he’d be right by her side. If she miscarried, he would hold her hand. If they had a baby, he would squeeze her hand. Her fear for the last fourteen years had been irrational.
On the flip side, she might have also leaned on that fear as an excuse, when really she simply didn’t want to sleep with anyone else. Anyone who was not Noah.
“How many of those do you have?” she asked.
A slow grin spread. “If we run out, they sell them on the ship, probably in the same store as the diamonds.”
“Ha ha.”
He sat upright and stared down at her, dancing the tips of his fingers across her breasts, her nipples, her abs, and then lower to tease the sensitive skin of her inner thighs.
“Noah…”
He parted her lower lips, dragged a finger through her folds. Wetness coated his finger, and he lifted it to his mouth to suck it clean. It was the most erotic thing she’d ever seen.
When he set that finger on her clit next and circled it, she grabbed his biceps and lifted her hips. “Okay. Enough foreplay.”
“You can never have too much foreplay,” he teased.
“’Kay. Save it for later.”
He laughed, his finger still working her clit.
“What’s so funny?” she whispered, her attention on that finger and its contact point.
Hot SEAL, Red Wine (SEALs in Paradise) Page 13
