With a shake of my head, I refocus on my mission. What is my unseelie form? I think to myself. How do I shift into it?
Words float upon my awareness, chilling and ethereal. “You showed us your heart once before. It was a true heart.”
I shudder. “I remember,” I say, my voice harsh on my ears after the melody spoken by the All of All.
“You will find your unseelie form there.”
I stare deeper into the black void that is my silhouette. “What does my heart look like?” I whisper.
The darkness swirls with the shimmering violet. I feel lost in the movement of the particles as they shift and swirl. I see what looks like a blustering wind move in the mirror. Its every move is sharp and quick and effective. A word forms in my mind. Intellect. The images in the mirror shift again, showing deep black water, so vast it should be terrifying. Instead, it feels comforting, warm. Like Mother’s arms. Again, a word comes to me. Love. The water turns to waves, then form the peaks of trees. At the base of the trees is solid earth, rock, stone. It’s strong and steady and calm. Logic. The leaves of the trees begin to fall, floating to the ground like heart-shaped jewels. The Autumn Court comes to mind, and thoughts of Aspen follow, making my chest feel light and open. A burning heats my core. Passion. As the leaves fall, they grow into beautiful flames. The fire rises higher and higher, and as it grows, I become breathless, enamored with its dangerous beauty. Rage. Anger.
The mirror goes still, returning to my silhouette against humming violet particles. I think that might be all it will show me, until the silhouette begins to dissipate and is replaced with golden pinpricks of light piercing through the purple. It reminds me of the sky as seen from Lunar, filling me with that same sense of wonder. Words come to me again. Mystery. Darkness. Magic. Discovery.
“You are all of this,” the ethereal voice of the All of All says. The mirror returns to stillness. This time, my reflection isn’t a black void. It’s...something, although I can’t see it clearly, like there’s a film over my eyes. I blink and stand closer. Colors emerge, and I’m surprised to see something other than violet or indigo. Still, it’s difficult for me to understand what I’m looking at. Then finally, I realize it’s flames. Beautiful dancing flames. But not like a normal hearth fire. This fire shifts and sways in the most stunning pinks, purples, and aquas. It’s like the Aurora Borealis, something I’ve only read about and seen in paintings.
My heart races as I watch it—watch me. I stare deeper into the flames, seeking shape. Two blue eyes look back at me, keen and clever and curious with a hint of darkness in them. A flash of teeth warns me of a quick temper and a fierce determination to protect the ones she loves. Her posture shows me there is logic behind her motivations and that she doesn’t react in violence without just cause.
I take a hesitant step back and she does the same. Because she is me. With a small, elongated muzzle, two pointed ears, she—I—stand on four tiny paws beneath slender legs.
There’s only one word I can think to explain what I’ve become.
I’m a firefox.
Unlike the lithe kitsune with their slim bodies and their balls of flame hovering near their mouths or tails, my tricolor flames lap over every inch of my fluffy, white fur, rippling around me like waves.
And upon my fox head rests a golden crown of fire.
37
I shudder, torn between terror and awe. I’ve done it. I’ve truly shifted forms. And I wear the blessing of the All of All. My crown. The one I left behind at Bircharbor.
A roaring hiss comes from behind me, and the mirror disappears like a violet puff of smoke. I’m back in the cave, although the purple haze remains. Time, however, has unfrozen, revealing King Ustrin towering before me as an enormous orange fire lizard. His beady black eyes are narrowed, nostrils flaring with rage as his tongue lashes out of his mouth.
Gasps and grunts and growls come from the fire fae. I hear whispers uttered, first too quiet to hear. Soon I realize it’s one thing repeated. Unseelie Queen of Fire.
I meet Aspen’s eyes. For a moment I’m scared of what I’ll find in them. I’ve seen him as a stag, but...can he accept me like this? His voice comes through the Bond. You’re beautiful, Evie.
My heart swells, burning away the remainder of my doubts. I turn my attention to Ustrin.
With slow, slithering steps, he moves toward me until he’s positioned between me and the cave’s exit. “Fight me,” he taunts. “Prove your worth, fool girl.”
I know what needs to be done, but I can’t do it here. Not where the fire fae—my fae, my people—could get caught in the crossfire. I feel a calm warmth in the back of my mind. Something tells me to turn myself over to it. As I do, my vision becomes clearer, my sense of awareness sharper. Information streams through me at once—every angle of the cave walls, my own weight, size, and shape. But I don’t have to think about it or even process it. I just know it in an instant.
I lower into a crouch, springing off all four paws. I soar over Ustrin’s scaly shoulder and land on an outcropping of the cave wall next to him. Scrambling to maintain purchase, I feel a weight sliding from my head. The crown. I try to right myself, but the crown clatters to the floor. I look from it to the fire lizard. Before I can make a move, hot orange flame shoots from his mouth, incinerating the crown.
I can do nothing but stare in horror as the gift from the All of All glows red, melting and shifting until what remains is a pile of shapeless molten metal. “No,” I gasp.
“There goes your gift from the All of All,” Ustrin says. “It was never a sign of their favor. You were never worth their blessing. Now submit to me!”
My heart sinks, eyes still locked on the melted crown. Is this my answer? Am I truly not the alpha blessed by the All of All? How did I ever think I could be?
You are more than that crown. The words shatter my stupor and I meet Aspen’s eyes from over Ustrin’s shoulder. Do not accept defeat, Evie. The crown was gifted to you from an intangible realm. It exists outside physical form.
I don’t think I can beat him, I reply. He’s too strong.
He isn’t stronger than you are. You’re the Unseelie Queen of Fire.
His words strengthen me, and I stand firmer on the stone.
“Submit to me,” Ustrin says, oblivious to my silent exchange with Aspen.
Wear the crown, Aspen says.
Returning my attention to the cave walls, I launch over the fire lizard to another outcropping that places me behind him. He hisses, whirling around as I launch again, landing on the floor of the tunnel. I take off, my flames lighting my way. Even if they weren’t, I have a feeling I’d be able to see in the dark regardless. Ustrin’s claws scrape the stone as he tears out of the chamber, hard on my heels.
I know he can’t attack me until I attack him first, but I’m not willing to risk him getting too close. As I clear the mouth of the cave, I keep running, my mind processing risk and reward as I seek favorable ground. A clearing ringed by enormous trees comes into view, and I spring toward it, my four paws pounding the earth with ease as if I never had only two legs before. As I reach the other side of the clearing, I skid to a halt and whirl to face the fire lizard.
Grass and earth turn beneath Ustrin’s claws as he enters the clearing, flames dancing over every scale. His movements aren’t as graceful as mine, his thick limbs slow and lumbering. “Tired of running? Ready to face me?”
I assess the clearing, calculating the arrangement of trees, the grass, the glowing mushrooms. I note every rock and branch, pinpoint which smells belong to which animals lurking nearby. I’m still without much of a plan, but something inside me knows all of this is important. I take in Ustrin’s size compared to mine. Even though he’s slower than I am, his size makes up for my upper hand in agility. There’s no way I can win by dominance of strength. And he’ll never concede to me the way Nyxia’s mother conceded to her. What other ways can I prove myself the alpha?
Ustrin’s voice bellows through the night. �
��Fight me!”
I shudder at the rage fueling his tone. It’s now or never. I may not be able to win by physical attack, but it’s the only thing that can start this. Lowering into a crouch, I let my fire curl around me. Then I dart forth, paws pounding the earth as I charge the fire lizard. As I approach, he doesn’t so much as flinch. Before I collide with him, I turn to the side and swipe out with my back legs. My claws make contact with his scales, but all they meet is firm resistance. I tear back toward the opposite end of the clearing, spinning to face him in a defensive posture.
Ustrin remains where he is. His tongue flicks in and out of his mouth, then hissing laughter fills the air. “That’s all you have? A swipe of your dainty little paws?”
“We’re just getting started,” I say. It’s the first time I’ve attempted to speak out loud in this form. I’m startled to realize I didn’t form the words with my mouth. I’ve witnessed many unseelie who communicate without the need to move their lips, but it’s still jarring to do it myself, no matter how natural it comes. However, the surprise only lasts a moment before my instincts prevail over all else.
“You’re right about that.” Ustrin opens his maw, and an orange glow surges forth. The ball of flame barrels toward me, almost faster than I can react. I roll to the ground, but the fire skims my side, extinguishing my flames where it touches and replacing them with scorched fur and blackened flesh. The pain feels the same as the burns I caused myself after Mother’s trial. At least these wounds seem to quickly subside, as my own flames return, pink, purple, and aqua lapping over my ribs, repairing the flesh and restoring my strength.
I right myself but scramble along the ground to avoid his next blast. This time, the fire skims my fluffy white tail, most of the blast hitting the tree behind me. I speed across the clearing, blasts of heat soaring close enough to feel, one right after the next. I pause behind the wide trunk of a tree. My eyes flash to the clearing, finding patches of burning grass, charred trunks of trees, scorched stone.
Again, that calm warmth pulls me in, and my attention sharpens. I hear several mice burrowing beneath the earth, desperate to flee from what’s happening above ground. I hear the fluttering wings of a moth in the tree overhead as it draws near a patch of flame. I hear Ustrin’s claws tearing the dirt as he plods toward the tree I’m hiding behind. Even before he opens his mouth, I know what’s about to happen, the sound of the fire stirring in his throat now familiar to me.
I try not to flinch as flames lap toward me, burning the trunk of the tree I’m hiding behind and searing the tips of my ears, my tail, the edges of my fur. With a breath, my fire repairs the damage to my body, and I dart out of my hiding place to another tree. Again, I focus on the sounds, the sights, the smells. A patch of earthy mushrooms glow nearby, but there’s a stronger aroma to my left. It’s pungent like the mushrooms, but mingling with it is the scent of decay. I look toward the source, finding an enormous tree nearby. From sight alone, it looks just like any other tree. But as my eyes seek the boughs overhead, I see it bears no leaves, no fruit. I hear termites scurrying inside the bark, sense the hollowed patches within the trunk.
Another ball of flame soars my way, but this time I sprint out from behind the tree before it strikes it. I seek the dying tree, circling around it a few times to snag Ustrin’s attention. He tears across the clearing, mouth opening wide as he prepares to launch another ball of flame. I skirt around the tree just as the flame hits it. However, he doesn’t stop there. Ball after ball strikes the tree, the heat searing me. One misses the tree and sets the grass aflame near my feet. I dance away, then peek around the trunk. Ustrin is now only several feet from the tree, tongue lashing in and out of his mouth.
“Stop hiding,” he hisses. “Give me a real challenge, fool girl. Let me show you what a true alpha looks like.” Another blast of flame surges forth. When it strikes the trunk, I hear the melody I’ve been waiting for. A hollow creaking.
I launch onto a large rock and from there leap onto the nearest tree, my paws springing off its trunk as they make contact. The momentum sends me higher, and I soar to an enormous boulder. Once again, I launch away as soon as I touch the surface and find myself even higher now as I leap toward the burning tree. Heat sears my paws as I touch the bark, but I press off with all my strength. As I do, I leave behind a burst of my own fire.
I tumble to the ground, my muscles screaming at the impact as I roll across the dirt. Ustrin tosses his head left and right, seeking where I’ve gone. Finally, he spots me.
The burning tree creaks louder, then a sound like lightning ripping overhead tears through the night.
Ustrin rushes toward me. But he isn’t fast enough.
The rotted tree comes tumbling down, pinning Ustrin beneath its flaming trunk in a tangle of rotting branches. His orange flames burn its base, but where I made contact, my tricolor fire glows and expands, creeping to where Ustrin is trapped.
I stand frozen as I watch, certain I’ll see Ustrin rise at any moment.
When I see no movement, I creep forward on silent paws. I find Ustrin in his seelie form, writhing beneath my flames as he tries to combat them with his own. The enormous trunk of the tree crosses his midsection, while his shoulder is speared into the earth below by a thick, sharp branch.
He catches my eye and lets out a laugh. “You think this means you’ve won? I can heal, remember? You can toss your pretty little flames at me all night, but you’ll run out of power long before I do. I’ll continue to heal and regenerate, and when I overcome your flames, I’ll kill you.”
“Submit to me as alpha,” I say, voice even.
He laughs again. “You’re out of your mind. I just explained I’m stronger than you. I can defeat you.”
“Submit to me as alpha,” I say again, louder now.
“You aren’t the alpha. That was nothing but a clever accident. I am far from defeated.”
“Submit.”
All amusement flees from his face, and he bares his teeth. “I will never submit to you. Even if you had the upper hand, I would rather die than submit.”
I study his face, contorted with effort as he continues to combat my fire lapping upon him from the tree. Just how his flames managed to damage me, my fire seems to do the same to him, blackening his bright scales.
My eyes then fall to his throat, the scales there still unmarred by my fire. In seelie form, I can only imagine his internal anatomy must be humanlike, the same way Aspen’s was when I performed his surgery. If that’s the case, I know exactly where to find his jugular vein.
I must admit Ustrin is right. He’s stronger than me. He’ll never submit to me and he will fight so long as he has breath and strength. The truth of what must be done is chilling, but the calm warmth in the back of my mind promises to carry the brunt of the burden. “That leaves me one choice,” I say.
With a lunge, I sink my sharp teeth into his scaly throat.
38
Sitting back on my haunches, I stare down into a moonlit stream, eyes locked on the white fox’s face staring back at me. Her flames have dissipated to a glow, leaving the blood coating the fur around her neck in clear view. Even her muzzle is smeared with it despite countless attempts to cleanse herself in the rushing waters. At least she managed to wash the taste of blood from inside her mouth.
My mouth, I correct myself. Me. That fox is me.
Something large appears on the other side of the stream. I heard it coming minutes ago, knew it was a stag before it appeared from behind the trees. My keen hearing is attuned to my surroundings, yet I can’t find it in me to care about a thing.
“Are you all right?” Aspen’s voice asks through the stag.
I keep my eyes trained on my reflection. “Did you find the body?”
Silence. Then, “Yes.”
Bile rises in my throat. If he found the body, then he saw a fae with its jugular torn out, left to bleed until his heart stopped beating. Bleed as my beautiful flames lapped over him.
“We must f
ind your refugees,” I say.
“I already found them.” His voice is quiet, careful. Like it’s walking on glass.
“You found them?” I allow my eyes to flash up to him, grateful he wears his stag face. I’m not ready to see how his seelie form looks at me.
“When Ustrin’s guards took off from the cave, I knew their master must have been defeated. I came to find you straight away. When I saw you here like this, I figured I’d give you some time.”
His words make sense. Now that I think about it, I remember a stag coming to this stream half a dozen times before now. A raven visited a time or two as well. I return my gaze to the flowing waters.
He continues. “That’s when I sought out the refugees. They weren’t far from here. The guards had fled the site there as well. Nyxia joined me after the threat to Selene Palace was extinguished. She brought my people back with her.”
“The guards fled? And the flame too? No one put up a fight?”
“The guards likely felt the dissolution of their vows to their king, and the flame he ordered to the palace no longer needed to obey orders either. There was no reason to fight us.”
With a single nod, I say, “No reason because Ustrin is dead.”
“Yes.”
“Because I killed him.”
“Yes.”
My muzzle twitches, and it reminds me of a human lower lip quivering. “Will he heal from his wounds?”
Aspen hesitates before answering, but I already know what he’s going to say. I remember what Gildmar had told me when we treated our patients after the explosion at Bircharbor. If a fae loses too much blood, their bodies can’t keep up with the healing. And I left him with more than an open throat. I buried him in my fire.
“He’s gone, Evie.”
A tremble goes through me. It had been so easy to snap my teeth over Ustrin’s throat. My human training told me where to bite. My fox instincts knew exactly how to angle my mouth, how to sink my canines beneath the shingle of scales where I could puncture his flesh. After the deed was done, all I could do was stare. When I could look no longer, I retched, then took off for the nearest source of water.
To Wear a Fae Crown (The Fair Isle Trilogy Book 2) Page 26
