Walking in the Dark

by Donna Augustine

  I leaned back when he didn’t.

  “I asked my guys to go back over the footage. Do you know how many times you got ‘lost’?”

  I knew exactly how many times. I’d driven this way about twice a week since I’d left. I’d leave my building to go buy paint and find myself driving here. I’d pick up takeout only to drive here. I’d force myself to stop a block shy, even though all I really wanted to do was keep driving, walk into the Underground, and speak to him. Just see him for a minute. I wanted to sit right here, in front of him like I was now, and be close.

  I’d told myself it was only because I felt over my head with Asher, and Kane had always known exactly what to do. Except even on the good days, when everything was perfect, I’d wanted to come here. I’d always wanted to come here, and it had always been about him.

  Only now, as he faced me down, forcing my truth out, it felt like harsh sunlight when I wanted to retreat into the dark. And he was right. I wanted to run, fast and hard. I didn’t want to think at all.

  “What are you so afraid of?”

  I turned, looking anywhere but him, which was hard when he was right in front of me, his legs brushing mine.

  He lifted his hands and cupped my head, bringing my gaze back to his. “I’ve seen you walk into the Shadowlands as if you were going for a walk in the park. You stare down creatures a hundred times stronger than you. You ran in front of me to save me from a burning blast of fire, but now you’re afraid?”

  I dropped my eyes, avoiding his stare. “Saving you doesn’t mean I want to be with you.”

  “No, but the way your breath hitches every time I touch you does. The way you lean into me without even thinking about it.”

  His hand moved to my hip and then my lower back, making it clear I’d done it. And he’d noticed.

  His fingers splayed on my back, as if trying to touch as much as possible. “What you did today, it changes things.”

  I shook my head as my lips parted. His mouth moved past mine, and I felt an ache until it settled further down to whisper along my neck.

  One hand stayed on my back as the other grabbed my ass and shifted me forward until I was perched on the edge of the desk and he stepped in between my legs.

  His hands held me there as his hard cock pressed into me, and a deep moan escaped me. The roughness of his jaw grazed my cheek as his lips came to my ear.

  “I can wait until you’re ready, but I won’t pretend anymore.” His voice was gravelly with the same need that I felt building within me.

  He stepped back, putting air between us when I wanted none. He walked out of his office, and I knew he was giving me a choice.

  Accept what we were honestly or live in a delusion and lose him.

  Chapter 31

  I stepped out of the elevator on the sixth floor an hour later, still off kilter from the conversation with Kane. It was hard to be honest about your feelings for someone when you had buried all those feelings in a twenty-foot hole. The last thing I was prepared for was the howling noise coming from my old apartment.

  It was Asher, repeatedly shrieking “Ollie” and sounding like a wounded animal. Badger was the guard on duty, and he was standing stone still, as if he didn’t hear the noise filling the hall—or really didn’t want to.

  I got as close to the door as I could. “Asher? Are you okay?”

  “Ollie, I need you.” It was a wailing noise, but softer now.

  I tried to get closer to the door, but Badger wasn’t budging. “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t say it like this.”

  Shit. I pulled my phone out. I’d wanted a little space before I spoke to Kane again today, but there wasn’t much choice. His phone went right to voicemail, and I didn’t bother with a message.

  Straightening my shoulders, I put on my firmest expression and faced Badger. “You need to move.”

  “I can’t—”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know. I need you to move anyway, because I don’t want to do this the bad way.”

  Badger tilted his fluffy head as he squinted. “What’s the bad way?” The slight tremble in his voice said he knew exactly what the bad way was. Through him.

  Why did he have to look like a big puppy? Of all the people to have to threaten. “Please, just move out of the way?”

  He grinned in a sad sort of way. “I really want to, but I can’t. What are you going to do to me?” He grimaced, turning his head to the side and closing his eyes.

  “Hopefully only put you to sleep for a little bit?”

  He nodded and then sat down against the wall.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I don’t want to hit my head when I pass out,” he said, eyes still firmly shut.

  Smart move. I dug around in my head, keeping two ideas prominent: no harm, just sleep. At least this wasn’t a rush job, so as the words formed, I felt out their potency before I completed the whole spell.

  The guard slumped.

  “Badger?” I whispered. He didn’t budge. I reached down and felt a strong pulse. Satisfied, I stepped over his legs and walked into the apartment.

  I shut the door quickly so Asher couldn’t see the condition of the guard outside, if he hadn’t already felt the spell I cast. I wasn’t convinced Asher was guilty, but that didn’t mean I was confident enough to let him go waltzing out of here.

  He was standing a few feet from the door. I felt like I’d gotten punched in the gut when I saw the sickly grey tone to his skin, almost as if he were still in the Shadowlands.

  “I’ve been waiting for you. Where’ve you been?” His voice was soft, and he looked absolutely dismal.

  “Are you okay?” I reached out toward his face but halted, afraid it might cause him pain.

  He took my outstretched hand, pulling me deeper into the apartment. “No. I can feel myself getting weaker here. You need to help me get out of here. We need to go back to the Shadowlands.”

  This world was killing him, and I’d been a part of leaving him locked in this apartment. I hadn’t known he wasn’t feeling well. I hadn’t wanted to know. “I’ll get you back.”

  Badger was knocked out cold. Did I take Asher out of here now? Find a crawler and see if I could walk him back in? It might be my only chance. Kane would be furious, but he’d get over it. I hoped. He’d have to. I couldn’t let Asher die. We didn’t know if he’d done anything wrong.

  “No, us.” He gripped both my arms and was pulling me farther into the apartment. Determination mixed with desperation coated his words. “You need to come with me.”

  I froze, or tried. He kept pulling me with him. Bad. This was bad. Trying to calm him, I softened my voice and tried to remain calm myself. “Asher, I don’t belong in that place.”

  “Is it him?”

  Him being Kane. Asher still didn’t want to say his name. I must not have answered fast enough, because he gave me a shake that rattled my teeth.

  “No. It’s not about Kane. This world is my home. I can visit the Shadowlands, but this is where I belong.” I could already see where this was going, and dropped the softness in favor of a firmer voice. Asher’s stubborn face was coming out. Hopefully he wouldn’t take so long to see the point that we’d miss our opportunity to get him out of here.

  “It’ll be better. I’ll take care of you there, like I couldn’t here.” His grip tightened on my arms. “I know what you need now.”

  “Asher, you’re hurting me.” I refused to let the fear I was feeling show in my voice.

  I’d spent months alone with Asher and I’d never been frightened until now. He’d always been like a harmless little brother I had to take care of. Maybe he hadn’t been altogether there, but not once had he felt like a threat.

  He didn’t loosen his grip as he steered me toward the couch. “You don’t believe me, but I’m going to show you. I can be everything for you.”

  He shoved me down on the seat cushion so quickly I was disoriented from suddenly shifting from standing to lying on my back. That momen
t of hesitation was all he needed to climb on top and begin tearing at the waist of my yoga pants with his hands while I tried to push him off.

  “Get off me!” I kept telling myself that this was Asher as I screamed at him. He wouldn’t do this to me. But it was as if he didn’t even hear me speaking. He planted one hand on my chest and started to undo his pants with the other, and no amount of tossing and turning dislodged him. He was freakishly strong, and I wondered if he’d hid this from me on purpose.

  “Asher, you need to get off me or I’m going to have to do something really bad to you.” I had this crazy idea that if I could just get him to listen to me he would return to the slightly childish man he’d always been.

  He didn’t even look at me as I spoke, so intent on his purpose. Nothing was getting through to him.

  I started chanting the sleep spell I’d just given to Badger, but I felt it fall flat immediately. Shock that the magic didn’t work added an extra edge of panic as I flailed underneath him.

  He managed to shove his pants down while I struggled, to reveal a flaccid penis. Not knowing how long it would stay that way, I searched for another spell. This one had some serious teeth behind it, but it fell flat again.

  Desperate enough to try anything, I whispered, “Zee.” When she didn’t appear, it became clear Kane must’ve done something to ward this room from the rest of the building.

  My call for help and spells weren’t the only things not working. Asher was staring at his limp dick as if he knew something wasn’t right but not sure what he was supposed to do about it. While he was puzzling out his next move, I looked over my head and realized the lamp was within grasping distance.

  I might not have been able to do a spell on him, but I might be able to do one on myself. I uttered the same words I’d used the other day when rushing to Kane’s aid. The magic surging through my body made me want to sob in relief.

  Using the burst of accelerated speed, I grabbed the lamp and hammered him over the head before he realized what the waves of magic rolling off me meant.

  Asher’s eyes rolled back in his head and his body toppled over to land in a loose sprawl on the floor.

  I slammed my way out of the apartment, afraid to look back. Once outside, I grabbed Badger by the shoulders and shook him hard enough to bang his head against the hall wall. I didn’t get so much as a groan out of him. Great, that spell had worked too well.

  “Zee?” I hoped whatever ward had prevented her from hearing me in the apartment didn’t spill out into the hall. She popped out of the air in a second.

  She moved her head sideways, taking in my torn clothes and the panic in my eyes. “What the hell happened to you?”

  “Can you secure that door somehow?”

  The light bulb went off for her. “Ahhhh, gotcha.” She hooked a thumb toward Kane’s door. “Go get together a bit.”

  I nodded, more than willing to leave her to secure the door on her own.

  A shower was the first order of business. A shower that entailed a lot of scrubbing and a wish for something stronger than coconut-aloe body wash.

  Out of the shower, I made sure to put on a long-sleeve shirt so the bruises wouldn’t be visible. Kane could get rid of them, but he was the one I was hiding them from. Pair of jeans and a light sweatshirt, and voila, I was as good as new. On the outside. No one would be the wiser to how bad it had gotten in there, except maybe Zee.

  I left the bathroom and headed next door, prepared to face the wrath of Kane. There was no way Zee hadn’t called him in by now.

  I walked into the hall and saw Badger still slumped against the wall, the door to Asher’s apartment wide open. I realized the cavalry had already arrived when I heard Kane’s voice. “I want every camera in the area checked, screen by screen.”

  Butch, Leon, and Kane were all standing in the living room as I entered. But where was Asher?

  I thought Kane would rough him up, but did he kill him while I was trying to scrub the top layer of my skin off?

  “Did you…”

  “He disappeared.”

  “What?” Gone. Asher had just performed his second escape act since I’d known him.

  The rage that was flowing off Kane filled the room.

  No one said anything else, but the place emptied, except for Kane and me. He walked over to me, looking me over.

  “You came in here alone, after you knocked out the only available help?” His jaw shifted.

  What did I say? Yes, I heard Asher in distress and I went running to his aid? Oh yeah, then he tried to rape me. I didn’t want to believe it, let alone talk about it yet.

  “Perhaps you were right about him being a little bit dangerous. But no real harm was done.” Mostly. Kane didn’t need to know what it had taken for me to make it out of the room.

  “Are you okay?” The question was considerate, but the voice was still furious.

  Big-mouth Zee. She couldn’t have played it down? My arms were sore and I wanted to scrape all the skin from my body, but I was in one piece. “I’m fine.” I looked at the floor where I’d left Asher, still stunned by everything that had gone down. How could he be gone? Had everything been an act? The helplessness, the friendship… “Do you think he could have left at any point?”

  “Probably. Stay in the building. He might be able to get out, but he won’t be able to get back in. I don’t want you alone until we find him.” He was walking toward the door before I agreed, not that I had any desire to argue.

  “You’re leaving?”

  “Yes.”

  “Hang on, I’m coming with you.”

  He stopped by the door. “You can’t. It’s a long shot, but there are people I know who might be able to give us answers. They won’t talk in front of strangers.”

  I nodded. We needed any kind of shot we could get right now.

  He walked out of the apartment.

  Chapter 32

  I was sitting in Kane’s office, in his chair, for no real reason other than he was gone, when I didn’t want him to be. Asher was still missing, and that didn’t help matters.

  Plus, I was drop-dead tired. Although I never saw him in bed next to me, I somehow slept better when he was there.

  Butch barged in the door and looked at me, and his face changed. “Saw the light. Thought you were Kane.”

  “Nope. He’s not back yet.”

  Butch nodded and walked over to the couch. I didn’t need him to say he hated that Kane was still gone. It was right there in the way the corners of his mouth were down and in the weight of his fall as he dropped onto the couch.

  I rocked back on the chair, having a hard time keeping still. “Does he do this a lot?”

  “Every now and then.”

  What was every now and then? Once a month, couple times a year? Once every ten years?

  “Do you know where he went?” Kane had been gone for three days, and this was the third time I’d asked.

  “I told you I don’t know.” Butch had his head relaxed back as he stared at the ceiling.

  Leon barged through the door, looked around the office, and immediately seemed to lose his burst of energy. “Just came to see if—”

  “We know,” Butch said.

  Leon’s head dropped as he walked over to the Keurig, not bothering to complain when there was only hazelnut left.

  When Jerry walked in the door, all three of us said, “He’s not here.”

  “Yeah, doorman here? I know.” He pointed at his chest. “Alexandria wants a meeting.”

  “With who?” Butch asked.

  Jerry pointed at me.

  I shrugged. “Send her up.”

  Leon spun so quickly he spilled his coffee. “Don’t send her up.”

  “We have instructions to keep everything under control,” Butch said, standing.

  I kicked my feet up on the desk. “Send her up. I want to see what she wants.”

  For some crazy reason, they listened to me.

  Alexandria strolled in, looking splendid
in a slinky pastel-blue dress with a slit nearly up to her hip. Why did I think it was a good idea to alternate yoga pants with jeans? And a brush, that might’ve been a good move. I’d been operating on a messy bun since Kane left.

  She folded her body into the chair in front of the desk with the grace of a cat. I’d seen plenty of vampires at this point, but she was so graceful that she must’ve been a dancer in her human life.

  She crossed her legs in a way that had Butch doing a double take. Until I kicked him, anyway.

  Why didn’t people ever look at me that way? Oh yeah, that’s right: yoga pants, sweatshirt, and lack of a brush. Actually, Kane looked at me that way—even better than that, to be honest.

  She flipped her hair in a come-hither way that made me worry she was going to take out Leon next.

  It didn’t work.

  She gave up and finally got to the point. “I’ve heard no one has seen Kane. That he’s missing?”

  Deny or ask why it was any of her business? Defensive probably wasn’t a good move. “He’s allowed to leave the Underground.” Had that been defensive? It had only been three days. He wasn’t gone. He had told us he was leaving.

  “He hasn’t been gone this long in twenty years.”

  How did she know that and I didn’t? When Kane did get back, we were going to have a little heart-to-heart over what his relationship with this vamp was. As soon as she left, I was talking to Butch and Leon.

  “Who’s in charge?” She looked at Butch, then Leon, before her gaze rested on me. “Surely it’s not you?”

  I sat up a little straighter and then forced myself to slouch back into the chair because I didn’t care what she thought. “Really? You think I’m not up to it, do you?”

  She looked me over slowly until her gaze stopped at my face. “No, I’m certain you aren’t.”

  “You think I’m weak?”

  “I’d like to see what happens when you lose your babysitters.”

  She was baiting me. It was so glaringly obvious that it was laughable. She was also doing it at the worst time possible, as my nerves were on edge. Everything about me was on edge, and the last thing I had tolerance for was this jerk sitting here and calling me weak. Yeah, it could possibly have a little to do with how helpless I was feeling at the moment, not knowing where Kane was, if he was even alive. Didn’t matter. She was pressing my buttons, and I was fine letting off a little steam in her direction.