by Julia Crane
One of her eyes opened slightly and all she could see was a white coat. Yep. She was in heaven.
“My name is Dr. Olivia Chambers, and you are under my care.”
What did she say? Her head was so fuzzy. She tried to grasp the woman’s words.
She sat down. The chair scraped on the floor as she pulled it closer to the bed. “You’re safe here. I know this is all confusing to you, but you are in a secure facility. The men that hurt you can no longer get to you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Aaliyah flopped her head to the side and tried to get a better look at the woman. The pillow was soft against her head. Aaliyah didn’t realize how much she’d missed pillows.
The woman was pretty and had a nice voice. Her mind scrambled to think of something to say. It was as if she couldn’t focus enough to get her thoughts together. In the back of her mind, she knew there was something she needed to ask, but she had no idea what it was.
“Am I dead?”
“No, you are very much alive.”
So she wasn’t in heaven. Her heart thudded against her chest. If she wasn’t dead, that meant she needed to please her owner.
Pulse racing, she asked for him. “Dasvoik?”
“He’s not here. You’ve been crying out for him in your sleep.”
“I-I need him. Happy. Need to make him happy.”
The woman set her clipboard down on the table beside the bed. “We’ll work through this together. Dasvoik has played a vital role in your life. I understand you feel a bond with him. But you need to learn to let go and be on your own. He is not coming back.”
“No, I can’t. I can’t.” Her voice rose to a shrill.
“You can and you will. I will help you. But now your body needs to heal. Once the body is healed, we will work on the mind.”
The woman stood up and injected something into the IV lines.
“What is your name?” Dr. Chambers asked gently. “We need your name to help us find Dasvoik.”
She nodded vigorously. Anything to bring him back to her. “Aaliyah. Aaliyah Le Roux.”
“Aaliyah, that is a beautiful name. Do you have any family?”
Family? Did she have family? The room faded, and Aaliyah floated off to sleep.
In her sleep, she dreamed. She dreamed of Dasvoik, touching her softly. Smiling at her. Calling her petal and his beautiful flower. He loved her. She ran after him and they danced under the stars. Dasvoik’s face changed and now he was a boy with dark hair and freckles.
He looked familiar, but he was not Dasvoik. Where was Dasvoik? She pulled away from the boy and ran away as fast as she could. Dasvoik would not like her dancing with someone else. Was he mad at her? Oh, no. She didn’t mean to. The boy had tricked her! She ran faster, screaming for Dasvoik over and over again. But, he did not reply. She was alone. Scared and so very alone. She dropped to the ground, curled into a ball and cried.
When she awoke again, her eyes opened a little wider. Where was she? She tilted her head and took in the white walls and machines attached to her. A hospital?
Her heart rate increased rapidly, causing the machine to go crazy. The door was flung open and the pretty doctor from earlier rushed into the room.
“Aaliyah. It’s good to see you awake.” Her voice was soothing.
“Where am I?”
“A secure medical facility. You were rescued from the ship.”
The ship? It all came rushing back to her. The abuse. Dasvoik. Henry.
Oh, dear God, Darrius!
“My brother! Is he here? Was he rescued?”
The lady reached into her coat and pulled out a syringe. “Aaliyah, you need to calm down or I’m going to have to put you under again.”
Again? Why was everything in her head so fuzzy?
“I need to know if my brother is here!” she wailed.
“Aaliyah, I really want to wean you off the drugs, but if you keep having outbursts, I’m going to have to put you under.”
“No, no more drugs. How long have I been here?”
“Two weeks.”
“Two weeks? Why can I only remember seeing you one time?”
“You’ve seen me every day, Aaliyah.”
That didn’t make sense. How could she not remember seeing this woman daily?
“My brother?”
“Your brother has not been found, but people are looking for him and the others that were on the ship. Do you want to talk about your time on the ship?”
“I want my brother.”
“Tell me about him.”
Aaliyah pushed herself up a little on the bed and was relieved to see she was not strapped down. “My brain is foggy.”
“It’s the medication. We’ve had to keep you sedated because of your outburst.”
What outbursts? She wondered. She couldn’t even recall being in the hospital before this moment.
“I felt it was the better route instead of confining you to the bed. I didn’t want to have to strap you down. From the looks of your wrist and ankles, you’ve had more than enough of that.”
Aaliyah lifted her arm and wiggled her fingers as she stared at the cuts on her wrist that were scabbed over. Lightly, she ran her fingers over the marks—it hadn’t quite sunk in that she was actually free.
“If you are willing to talk to me, we can ease you off the drugs. Would you like that?” the doctor asked. “There will be no pressure from me. I want you to tell me your story on your own.”
She wasn’t sure. Would she like that? It was nice not to feel pain. Wasn’t it? Mostly she felt numb. “Yes, I need to find my brother.”
“I understand. Would you like to see your parents?”
Her parents? How had she forgotten about them? It felt strange, like her old life belonged to someone else. “No.”
“Why not?” The doctor slid the needle back into her pocket and sat down next to her.
“I don’t know. I don’t want them to see me like this. My fault. It’s my fault my brother is gone.”
“It’s not your fault. No one would ask for what you have gone through. The people at fault are the ones that took you and your brother. Not you.”
Tears streamed down her face. The woman was wrong. Aaliyah knew she was the reason they had been abducted. Suddenly, she felt very tired. The conversation had completely drained her.
“Dasvoik loved me. I just couldn’t make him happy.”
“Oh, sweetie, that is not love. We have our work cut out for us, but I think for now you need more sleep. I am going to start weaning you off the drugs and when you wake up, we’ll take out the feeding tube so you can start eating on your own again. Ok?”
Aaliyah heard the words, but her mind was elsewhere. Maybe it was the drugs. If she wasn’t drugged up she could think clearly. Her eyes drifted and she heard the door click softly closed. She found herself waiting for the sound of the door being locked. She’d drifted to sleep before realizing that there was no lock. She really was free.
When she woke again her mother was at the edge of her bed. Her head felt a little clearer. “Aaliyah, I’ve been so worried, my dear child,” she spoke rapidly in Afrikaans.
“Mamma.” Aaliyah reached over and grasped her mom’s arm. “I lost Darrius. You must hate me. I’m so sorry.”
Her mother stifled back a sob.
The doctor came from the corner of the room and placed her arm around the mother. “We’re doing everything we can to bring back your son. Right now, your daughter needs you.”
Her mother wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve and spoke in broken English. “This be the truth. I do not hate you, child. I could never hate you.”
Aaliyah pushed herself up and the doctor came around and pulled the pillow up. Suddenly she wanted to bolt from the bed. She needed to get out of this place. But the idea of facing the world outside nearly caused her heart to jump out of her chest.
“How are you feeling?” the doctor asked.
“Better. I think. But I don’t wan
t to be here. My mind’s no longer fuzzy, and I’m hungry.”
“That’s a great sign. Once you are fully recovered, it’s up to you if you want to stay or go home. What would you like to eat? We can have anything you want made.”
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.”
“Don’t speak like that,” her mother chided. “Life matters.”
Her mom turned towards the doctor and in broken English asked the doctor to bring soup, bread and a large slice of apple pie.
The doctor nodded and left the room. Aaliyah’s heart hurt; it was full of sorrow and remorse.
“Mamma, I need to get out of here. I need to find Darrius.”
In Afrikaans, she replied, “And how do you think you can do that? Stop talking nonsense. You will stay here until you recover. You have to heal yourself before you can heal others. We have to leave Darrius’s life at the hands of the lord and the police. You must pray for your brother’s soul.”
She nodded in agreement, but deep down she thought, praying doesn’t work, Mamma. But she had been rescued. Why wasn’t she grateful? Why did she feel so numb? And why was every ounce of her body aching to see Dasvoik? The man was a monster. She knew that, and yet a part of her still longed for his acceptance. What the hell was the matter with her?
The door opened again and the doctor came back carrying a tray of steaming hot soup and crusty bread. Her stomach rumbled at the site. When she placed the tray in front of her, Aaliyah greedily took a sip of the soup and burned her tongue. She was so hungry she didn’t care. She picked up the bread tore it apart and dunked it in the soup. Before she could even swallow it, she spit out the bread. Memories of the cage and struggling for a chunk of bread accosted her mind.
“What’s wrong?” Dr. Chambers asked.
Aaliyah pushed the bread aside. “I’m not hungry.”
“Does it taste bad? I can get you something else.”
“I hate bread. I never want to see it again.”
Her mother looked confused. She used to love bread.
“I see.” Dr. Chambers removed the tray from in front of the girl.
“Let me get rid of this.” The doctor left the room and returned with a slice of pie and a tall glass of milk.
Aaliyah looked at the pie, and her mouth watered.
“Maybe this will be better,” the doctor said, as she set the apple pie down in front of her.
Aaliyah eyed the dessert for a moment, before picking up the fork and taking a bite. It was amazing. It had been so long since she’d tasted anything so sweet and rich. She devoured the pie and then gulped down the glass of milk.
“Did you eat bread while you were gone?” Dr. Chambers asked her voice was soft and soothing.
Aaliyah turned her head, refusing to answer.
“We’ll worry about that later. I’m glad you liked the pie. Would you like to be left alone to visit with your mother or do you want me to stay?”
“Alone.”
The doctor picked up the plate and glass before leaving the room.
Her mother reached for her hand. Aaliyah wanted to pull it away, but she knew it would upset her mother.
“Noah has been calling and coming by every day.”
Noah. How had she forgotten about him? Once he found out what happened to her he wouldn’t want anything to do with her and she didn’t blame him.
“What did you tell him?”
Her mom eyed her before speaking, “I told him the truth. That you were abducted and badly injured. That you needed time to heal. He insisted on coming to see you, but I told him I had to ask you first.”
“No, I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t ever want to see him again.”
“He’s very worried about you.”
“I don’t want to see him, Mamma.”
“Then you won’t see him,” she said firmly. “It’s your choice.”
Her choice? The words sounded foreign to her.
CHAPTER 21
Kaitlyn had to see the girl. Dr. Chambers said she should not get involved—that it wasn’t part of her job. Which made no sense. They wanted her to be more human, but they didn’t want her to feel or be involved? Part of her saw the logic of not getting emotionally involved in the missions, but she just couldn’t seem to forget about the captive.
Maybe if she talked to her she could put it behind her and move forward. It was not good for her attention to be unfocused. Dasvoik had managed to evade them for weeks, and they were no closer to catching him than they were on the day they boarded the ship. Kaitlyn was beyond frustrated.
She paused in front of the door before entering. Kaitlyn wasn’t sure what she was going to say to the girl. She wasn’t very good at things like this. Maybe just seeing her would help and they wouldn’t need to talk.
When she crossed through the door, Kaitlyn was surprised by what greeted her. The young girl sat in a chair, watching television. She clicked the TV off when she noticed Kaitlyn.
Teal eyes and a mocha face stared back at her. Without all the bruising, the girl was truly striking.
“You look well,” Kaitlyn said, crossing the room.
“Do I know you?” The girl pushed herself back into the chair, wrapping her arms around her knees. Suddenly she looked like a fragile child.
“We met on the boat.”
Aaliyah flinched. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember.”
“That’s okay. I was once in an accident and I couldn’t recall anything for a very long time.”
A long lapse of silence filled the room. Kaitlyn didn’t know what to say.
Dr. Chambers warned her not to bring up Dasvoik, stating the situation was too delicate. It’s not like she had anything positive to tell her anyway.
Aaliyah looked up, her arms were now wrapped around her chest and she rocked slightly back and forth. “Were you a prisoner on the boat? I think I would have remembered you.”
“No, I was not. I helped rescue you.”
The girl looked down at the ground and shifted in her seat. Her eyes lifted and met Kaitlyn's. “You were too late.”
The words stung. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be trying to find my brother? And all the others?”
“That’s not my job.”
“Not your job?” The girl’s voice shook. Kaitlyn registered her rise in pulse rate and blood pressure. Physical and emotional signs of distress.
“Federal agencies are searching for the prisoners.” Kaitlyn was searching for Dasvoik, but she wasn’t allowed to talk about that.
“It’s been weeks. Wherever they were headed, they have reached by now. My brother could be dead for all I know.”
“That’s a possibility,” Kaitlyn agreed. “But, chances are, he is alive.”
“If he’s alive, he probably wishes he were dead,” the girl said looking off in the distance, her eyes glazed over.
“Can I sit down?”
The girl didn’t respond, so Kaitlyn sat in a chair next to her.
“I can’t claim to know what you are going through.” Kaitlyn said looking at the girl. “I do know you must miss your brother.”
Aaliyah turned in her direction, but did not speak.
“You want him returned.”
“Yes.”
“You might be able to help us.”
Aaliyah sat up straighter and for the first time, Kaitlyn saw a hint of interest in her clear blue-green eyes. “How?”
“You spent more time than anyone with Dasvoik. You might know something about his whereabouts.”
She shook her head. “He never talked to me like that. I don’t know anything.”
“You might have heard or seen something and not realized it was important at the time. The mind captures things we are not aware of.”
“I’m sorry. I cannot help you. Most of my time was spent tied up.” The girl recoiled at a memory.
Kaitlyn was not a psychologist, but she deduced it was a good sign that the girl was remembering
the horrors she went through. To get over this odd obsession she had with Dasvoik.
“Dasvoik is the one that hurt your brother.”
“No!”
“If it were not for him, your brother would be home with his family.”
The girl glared at Kaitlyn. Her chest heaved up and down, and like a crumbling pile of cards, she collapsed. Sobs racked her body.
The door flung open and Dr. Chambers looked at Kaitlyn in disbelief. “I told you not to talk about him.”
“She needs to talk about him.”
“On her own time.”
“She might be able to help us.”
“I can’t,” the girl wailed.
Kaitlyn tapped the side of her own head. “It’s in there I know it is. She knows something she is not aware of. A conversation heard when she was unconscious, a map, a childhood memory from Dasvoik, something. I’m telling you, it’s in there.”
Dr. Chambers got on her knees in front of the girl and took her hands in hers. “She might be right, Aaliyah.”
“She’s not,” the girl spit out. “Don’t you think if I knew where my brother was I would tell you?”
“You might unconsciously be protecting Dasvoik. We need to find him to find your brother. Without him, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack.”
“I don’t know anything!”
“Would you be willing to let me put you under and see if I can pull the information from your mind with hypnosis?”
The girl’s breathing became shallow and her head lifted. “Could you do that?”
“I can try. If you are open to the idea.”
Kaitlyn interjected. “Dasvoik needs to be stopped. More than likely he has a new girl tied to his bed as we speak.”
“Kaitlyn!” Dr. Chamber’s eyes were wide.
Aaliyah pulled her hands away and rocked back and forth in the chair.
“He hurt you, Aaliyah. He took something from you that cannot be returned. But you can come out of this stronger.”
“I’m too weak.” The girl sobbed. “I’m afraid. I’m disgusting. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. No one but Dasvoik is ever going to want me again.”
Kaitlyn leaned forward in her chair. “Not long ago I was attacked. And I woke up afraid. Changed forever, just like you. I thought I was a freak. That no one could ever love me again, but I was wrong. I’m stronger than ever and have people in my life that believe in me. Love me even.”
