“I know, but you need to. We need to talk before Zeke wakes up.”
Like a shock from an electric fence, everything came into focus immediately. The nagging aches and pains trying to break through her sleep sprung on her nervous system and Amie groaned. “Fuck I hurt.”
“I know. And I wouldn’t wake you if it wasn’t important.”
Peeling one eye open, grimacing at the sticky muck keeping her lashes together, she found Margie’s face way too close to hers. The knee jerk reaction to move back caused a spasm of pain and tensions to shoot down her spine. Gasping quietly made her ribs burn.
“Thanks. Now everything hurts again. You’re a great friend. Good enough in fact to get a batch, no, two or three batches of my favorite brownies.”
Margie stood up a little bit to add a bit of space between them, but grinned. Amie’s brownies were famous, for giving any recipient a giant case of diarrhea or gas. “Naw, I’m good. I don’t need any presents.” The smile slid into a grimace. “Honey, Skip will be here soon to tell you the verdict from the pack. I wanted you to have a little forewarning in case your kitty gets a little pissy over it. I’d rather tranq you now instead of you taking a chunk out of the Alpha.”
Verdict.
The word reverberated in her skull. She’d completely forgotten about the cabin and the pack punishment. Realization started to set in before her brain understood. Her breathing kicked up, pushing her heart to beat faster. They never signed an agreement. She’d left the cabin and now was going to be run out of town. She’d be driven from her mate by her own family.
Flashbacks tried to take hold but she gritted her teeth until they ached. This was far worse than what her father had done, and it was her fault. She’d left that building of her own free will.
“When?” Her voice barely registered to her own ears but Margie hiccupped and swiped at the tears coursing down her cheek.
“They are giving you forty-eight hours. Likely Zeke will be healed enough by then that he won’t need you at his side. I’m so…” Margie looked away for a moment. The scent of pain flooded Amie’s senses as she waited for her friend to get her emotions together. When Margie turned back the lines around her mouth were pinched. “I’m so sorry that this entire thing has fallen apart. The pack never meant for you to be driven off if you didn’t want to go. We all knew you needed a kick in the emotional ass. But once the sentence was decided on we have to go through with it. They even tried to find a way around it that wouldn’t make Skip look weak by backing out of the decision.”
Amie was numb. She just kept nodding, fully understanding the process and accepting it. Skip needed to remain strong and go through with the sentence. If he didn’t, he and Amie would be disgraced. Someone in the pack would think him weak and challenge him for Alpha. None of that could be allowed happen. Knowing that Fate had once again fucked her with a cactus wasn’t helping.
“Thanks for coming and telling me. I know Skip would try to think of a way around it, and I brought it on myself. He told me on the phone not to leave but I did anyway. I will take the punishment without a fight.”
“You… you what? You aren’t going to fight it? Why in God’s name would you just walk away from Zeke?”
“I’m saving him from challenging Skip for Alpha, saving Skip from being challenged. I’ve been on my own before so it won’t be too hard. I’m going to miss everyone of course, but—”
“But what? But you’re going to be the martyr and go quietly for everyone else? You know what this will do to your animal and Zeke. God, don’t you want to fight for Zeke’s sake? He will go insane and will likely try to chase you down once he comes to.”
“I know.” Amie finally glanced at Zeke’s face, so close to hers, and felt the first fissures of despair. She was being forced to leave again, and this time not just her family. “Why didn’t I die in the woods?”
The question hadn’t been meant for anyone, really, but the gasp from the doorway let her know that more people had arrived to their room. Skip was framed by bright white light from the hallway as he stood awkwardly staring at her.
“Um, well, I’m going to go back to what I was doing a little while ago and let Skip talk to you about that thing I wasn’t supposed to tell you about.” Margie leaned forward and gave Amie a quick kiss on the cheek, then whispered, “I love you.”
Before Amie could respond with anything more than an open-mouthed gape, the other woman was gone, bumping Skip on the way out the door and giving the man the stare that most people feared.
Margie loved her. She was going to have to leave. Her mate might not want to keep her. They hadn’t sealed the bond completely. She was going to leave and probably lose her cat to mourning. Bleeding out in the woods would have been more humane than the long terrible starvation death she was going to suffer. But then Amie wouldn’t have seen Zeke alive, wouldn’t have been given a few more hours to breath in his scent and help him heal. She wouldn’t have had the chance to say goodbye to the people she cared for.
“Amie?” She looked up to find Skip’s eyes boring into her soul. He frowned and she had the silly urge to smooth out his brow. The man was an amazing leader, but he worried too much some times for his charges.
“Skip, you need a vacation.”
“I what?”
“You need a vacation. This pack is dragging you down and you aren’t as happy as you used to be. You need a vacation.” Amie knew she was babbling, that her voice was flat and emotionless, but she couldn’t deal. Not yet. Might as well use the time to reflect on things before the pain tore her heart from her body.
“Um. Yeah, I probably do. Margie told you? About leaving?”
“Mmmhmmm.”
“And that you have forty-eight hours before you have to be out of our territory?”
“Yep.”
The silence should have bothered her but, instead, she looked at Zeke and resumed studying his face. She wanted to memorize every single inch of him. Those memories would be the only thing she’d have to hold on to.
“Zeke will come after you, you know, so don’t make your trail too hard to follow. I hate to see him leave Coyote Bluff, but I’m sure you two will—”
“Not be together.”Amie finished pointedly. “His life is here. We aren’t officially tied together and I’m sure he will be heartbroken for a while, but he will still be here. I want you to make sure he gets anything left in my home. And please donate my savings to the pack. I feel horrible for the tensions I’ve caused while here. Please let them all know that I understand the decisions made and am honored to have lived among them for so long. And, Skip, you’ve been such an amazing Alpha. Thank you for taking me in and…” Watching his eyes mist over with tears had her own following. “Please don’t cry. I was given more time, more life, more love in this town than I’ve ever experienced.”
“This isn’t what was supposed to happen. You have to believe me. I knew you two would figure things out and would mate. He’d put you over his knee or something for the pranks and we could all get back to normal.” Skip shoved a work-roughened hand through his hair. “But this all went to shit. If we weren’t dealing with Jason’s old pack I could have taken the brunt of the issues by backing out of the agreement, but I can’t. I’m stuck, Ames.”
Amie reached out and patted Skip’s arm. “I know, and you guys aren’t to blame. I was a mess, hell still am. Can you get someone to bring me clothes? I’d like to get a few things from my house before my time is up.”
Sympathy and abject guilt clouded his face but he nodded. “There is a bag in the closet already. Margie grabbed your clothes yesterday.” He turned and slammed his fist into the wall, leaving a pile of broken drywall in his wake. “Fuck! I hate this. Screw it. You don’t have to leave. I’ll let the betas all take a shot at me for punishment or something.”
Skip strode fast circuits around the room as he mused. Amie watched him and only half listened to his ranting about how to break the verdict and take the punishment for it.
She knew deep down that he’d die for her and Zeke and that couldn’t be allowed to happen. Knowing she had clothes across the room soothed the gnawing concern she had chewing at her gut. As soon as he left she’d dress and leave. Quietly. Serenely. She’d take the decision out of his hands, save the pack from having to punish the Alpha for being a compassionate leader, and allow her some dignity.
Pain shot through her palm and up her arm. Looking down she was surprised to find her claws had sprouted without her feeling it and were deeply imbedded in her hand. Amie hadn’t even felt her cat at all and definitely hadn’t noticed the push for control. The blood slowly found its way along the lines in the skin, making a small river meandering through the valleys until gravity required it drop onto the bed and soak into the sheet. The sound of the drips was wet and way too loud in her sensitive ears.
Intellectually she knew she was in some form of shock, the lack of emotions, the disconnect with her cat, the humming vibrations along her limbs, but the ability to care enough to worry slipped through her fingers at the same time as the pain from the punctures slid from her consciousness.
“Skip.” Amie needed him to leave. When he didn’t respond she tried again, trying to add a little weight to her voice. The first time it’d come out thin and wispy, like her thoughts. “Skip. Hey.”
The man stopped mid-rant and turned, giving her a weird look but that washed away with a kind smile. “Sorry. I was lost in my own thoughts. What can I get you? Water? Need something to eat?”
A dull ache took up residence in her chest, as she fought the realization that she’d once again be without caring people around her. His offer to help her was almost enough to break through the gauze of shock, but not quite. She prayed nothing would until she was someplace safe and away from Coyote Bluff. The fallout was going to be horrible and she had things to accomplish before that.
“I’m getting really tired. Could we finish our conversation a little later? Let me take a nap?” She added a bit of whine at the end of her question and a yawn to crack the hinges of her jaw.
“Oh. Oh, geez, yeah. I’ll come back in a couple hours. Rest. I’ll think of something so you can stay.” The big burly Alpha leaned down and kissed her gently on the forehead. “We all love you Amie, don’t think we don’t. You need to heal up quick and take care of your mate.”
She swallowed, barely, and croaked out an answer. “Yeah I know. I love you all too. It’ll all work out, I’m sure.”
Skip nodded and headed to the door, turning one last time and gave Amie one of his famous raised-brow looks. “And don’t you dare think you are at fault for all of this mess. We are all crazy and cause issues, but that is what makes life fun and interesting. You made a mistake and took your punishment for it. We don’t hold you to blame any longer for anything in the past.”
She took a deep breath and held it until the sob threatening to burst from her chest dulled. She nodded back, the only way she could respond. It must have been enough for the man, because he walked out with nothing else being said. She wouldn’t give in and cry, not yet. She promised herself that it would be soon, soon she could unload all the pain into cries and screams, but for the moment she needed to focus on getting dressed and somehow making herself walk out the door.
Climbing slowly off the bed was tough. She didn’t want to bump Zeke as he slept, but the aches and twinges from her own injuries made her clumsy. The fact that her cat had abandoned her to sulk didn’t help matters either. Gasping quietly, Amie finally rolled off the side of the bed. She stayed hunched over until the lightheadedness calmed and the pain in her ribs and head dimmed some.
Once on her feet, Amie felt better. More in control and driven to get moving. She needed to get out of there before another of her friends showed up. Anyone seeing her out of bed would know what she was planning and would attempt to stop her.
Inside the closet were her favorite jeans and a T-shirt proclaiming her the queen of the universe. Slipping into clothes had never taken so long nor caused so much pain but she pushed through it. After slipping her feet into sneakers she had to sit on the hard, orange chair hanging out in the corner of the room to breathe for a minute. Being so winded after doing nothing scared her. Could she make it out of town without collapsing? Amie had to. There wasn’t a question as to if she could.
Taking one final glance around, she heaved her aching body from the chair and let her eyes stray to the bed. Bracing herself for the influx of emotions had her holding her breath. She’d kept from looking at Zeke, knowing full well that once she gazed at him she’d never want to leave. The rush of love broke through the walls of indifference she’d been trying to keep up. A sob filled with anger and heartache tore from her throat as her soul bled pain and anguish.
His face had taken on more color since she’d fallen asleep but his eyes and mouth were still pinched with pain. A couple of days of beard shadowed his cheeks and chin, making him look gaunt. Blood stained his face and had dried to a muddy brown in the creases of his neck. Hands, relaxed in sleep, still showed scabs from where he’d defended himself. Long gashes covered the parts of his chest not covered with a perfectly white blanket. Bruises ranging from deep purple to green covered nearly every inch of exposed skin.
Why would Fate allow them both to live if they weren’t going to be together? Why torture the two of them? Had she really been such a bad person? Was she still reaping the punishments for the death of her brother? Would Fate find Zeke another mate because she wasn’t worthy of him?
The instant the thought entered her mind she was sure that was the answer. It didn’t matter if she’d been a kid. Obviously Fate felt differently about that fact than Zeke. Amie had thought he’d had it right, that she couldn’t be responsible for Kenny’s death because she’d been a kid. But why else would she be chased from one family to the next, torn from connections and love? And to lose a mate?
The yowl was so loud in her head she instinctively clapped her hands over her ears. There was an intense pain in her skull, followed by silence. Her cat was gone; either in hiding or it’d finally cut itself from her, but at the moment Amie was nothing but thankful for it.
Taking one final look at Zeke had tears filling her eyes, but she knew what she needed to do. To save him, the group and herself. Turning to the door hurt, but placing one foot in front of the other found her silently treading down the hallway of the clinic and heading toward the side door.
Chapter Fifteen
Handing over fifty dollars to the motel clerk was the last step in many Amie had to finish before she could finally collapse and let the pain flow. She’d been shoving it down into her gut for hours. Running into the back of her home, seeing her favorite furniture and knowing she’d never see the dwelling again had started a long line of emotionally devastating events. The few items she had time to throw into an old duffel bag weren’t enough, but she had given herself only five minutes in her house.
Glad that the money she’d stashed away, for bail if needed, or a rainy day project, was still safely rolled in a shoebox in her closet, Amie grabbed a couple of pairs of jeans, her wallet and the cash. Skip was too good at getting others to help him, and he would try to track her based on credit card usage. She’d have to get prepaid cards until she could come up with a new identity.
Leaving her house had been difficult, but getting on the highway headed north had been so much harder than it should have been. Every cell of her body had tried to turn her around. Her heart ached, her brain pounded and the muscles of her legs and arms tried to refuse to work. Amie pushed through the pain, funneled the issues into a tight box inside her chest and looked at the next hurdle. Getting rid of her car, purchasing another and heading in a new direction.
At least evading her father and her old pack had taught her the art of deception. Fifty miles from Coyote Bluff she found a used car lot that would trade cars with her. They’d given her half of what the little Nissan was worth, but it didn’t matter. Conner would have an APB or something out
on her and she didn’t want to be found. An extra hundred dollar bill made sure that her paperwork wouldn’t be processed for a few days and she was back on the highway with no place to go but with all the haste of someone being chased. By the time the new car was in the Virginia system with her name on it she would be in another state, probably in another car, and definitely with a new set of plates.
Because she’d gone north to sell the car, Amie had decided to go west toward Kentucky or Tennessee and then she would head north toward the Dakotas. Or perhaps just drive and not put down roots again. Settling down and making friends wasn’t a good idea for someone like her. Distance was the only way she could think of to help ease the pain of separation. Within an hour of leaving Coyote Bluff she’d nearly turned back. The pull to be with her mate and her family was horribly tough to fight but, for everyone’s sake, she needed to.
Every time she contemplated her decision the guilt ate at her. She’d caused Zeke’s attack, had caused him so much pain and heartache over the last few weeks. To try and tear her heart from those thoughts she remembered the families and teens she’d put in danger. They could have easily be held accountable and be on death’s door because of her. The amount of damage she’d done to her family was so great that this simple act of running away wasn’t enough to fix it, but maybe Fate would see to it that Coyote Bluff and Zeke could have some peace now.
Amie had driven until she couldn’t continue. She’d made it to Lexington, Kentucky before exhaustion caught up with her. Finding an out-of-the-way motel that took cash and didn’t ask questions wasn’t as hard as she’d thought it would be. Once she’d paid the bored-looking human man, she was free to drive her new car around to the back of the two story building.
Old stucco crumbled from cement blocks, piling along the edge of the building and sprinkling the weeds like confetti. The smell of old carpet and not-well-tended laundry flooded her nose as she stumbled under the weight of her bag up the stairs to the second floor. She’d requested a room away from others staying in the motel. The clerk hadn’t even blinked at the request and had placed her on the far side of the building at the end of the second floor. From the crude check in map on the desk it looked as if she was the only one within a five room radius. At least if she cried too loudly no one would call the police, and maybe, just maybe, she’d cry herself out so she could sleep.
Switching Gears: Coyote Bluff Series Book 3 Page 13
