by Clare Lydon
Kirsty understood about having work meetings you’d rather not have. She’d fired suppliers who messed her around. Held serious talks with Helena when she’d tried to steer the wine side of their business. Since then, their business relationship had been far better. In fact, since the Oliver sisters arrived in town, Helena had been a total rock.
Saffron was a big deal. She had to go to meetings. It was just her meetings were with Pearl, who certainly didn’t have her best interests at heart. Also with her ex, Echo Black.
How could Kirsty compete with Echo-Sodding-Black? No matter what she’d done, she and Saffron were unfinished business.
She made herself a tea, then grabbed two crumpets. She peered closely. There was a bit of green mould on one. She cut it off. Enough butter and jam, and you’d never know. She put them in the toaster and pressed down. She bet Echo never ate crumpets. Too many carbs. Although Saffron did.
Saffron wasn’t at all who Kirsty had imagined she’d be. She was a lost soul, just coming to terms with her life. Kirsty had wandered into it, and they had a connection. Saffron felt it, too. She’d told her, and she’d showed her. All night long.
A wave of lust rolled through Kirsty.
She grabbed the toasted crumpets and put far too much butter on them, watching it seep through the holes and onto the plate. So what if she put on a few pounds? She might need it to wallow if Saffron went to London and stayed there.
All it was going to take was one word from her agent, one veiled threat, and the promise of their new relationship could fly out the window.
Kirsty walked through to the lounge and took a bite of her crumpet.
She was right.
They tasted delicious.
Two hours later, Kirsty stared up at their shop sign. They still needed to get that repainted. She added it to her mental to-do list and pushed open the shop door. Helena was already there, dealing with a delivery. She waved to get her partner’s attention.
“You okay here if I go for a walk?”
Helena nodded. “So long as you bring me back a treat.”
Kirsty strode out wondering how she coped before Helena. Anna had never been fully invested in the business, so it was good to have someone who was.
She needed air this morning to clear her head. Within ten minutes, she was on the start of Fisherman’s Way, a disused railway line that was now a trail all the way to Winterbury, their nearest big city. At eight miles, she wasn’t planning to walk it all. But walking the local coastline, she ran the risk of bumping into someone she knew. When she walked this trail, she was pretty much guaranteed solitude.
The fields around her were straw-coloured from so much sunshine, the mud underfoot dry and cracked. Kirsty put on one of her favourite podcasts and fixed her headphones.
“Welcome to this week’s Lesbian Life podcast with Jade & Candy! This week, we’ve got all the latest happenings in the sapphic world, including an interview with Saffron Oliver and her co-star, Echo Black! Who doesn’t love those two?”
Kirsty picked up her pace, a frown settling on her face.
Candy made a noise in her ear like she’d just eaten something delicious. “Oh yeah, I can’t wait! Having listened already, it’s a fabulous interview. The two of them just look so fantastic together both on-screen and off.”
“They sure do, Candy,” Jade agreed. “The latest Girl Racer has got all our pulses racing. They were both very coy about whether or not they were together in real life. What did you glean from the interview?”
“I think there’s still something going on. There was just something in their voices, you know?”
Kirsty’s stomach gurgled. Her blood twisted. Acid rose up her windpipe. She rolled her shoulders and took in the countryside view.
“Or perhaps that’s just wishful thinking on my part and the whole of the lesbian world,” Jade added. “Let’s face it, the pair of them have got incredible chemistry on-screen. If it’s the same off it, it would make my lesbian heart skip a beat.”
Kirsty pulled her phone out of her back pocket and snapped off the podcast.
She wasn’t going to listen to the interview.
If she did that, Echo Black would start to walk around her head, and that was the last thing she needed. She was already a striking movie star, just like Saffron. Perfect for her, just like Jade and Candy had said. Kirsty’s mind didn’t need any coaxing.
She stared hard at her phone, then clicked off the podcast app altogether.
She was not going to listen.
Even though she really wanted to.
Kirsty carried on walking, the path ahead clear. She could work out her excess energy here and nobody would know.
Saffron had made sure she had energy to burn. Heat and anger slammed through Kirsty’s system at the thought of Saffron. Damn her.
Kirsty saw a nearby tree stump and kicked it.
The pain whizzed from her toe right up through her body and to her brain.
Fuck. That really hurt. Saffron was already causing her pain. The last thing she needed was to add a dollop of her own on top.
Kirsty liked to think she knew Saffron. Saffron had told her she and Echo were over. She’d also told her not to believe whatever she read in the press. Kirsty guessed podcasts went under that umbrella, too.
But it was hard. So very hard.
The path took a steep incline. To her right, large cows lazed on the earth. To her left, hay bales were rolled up in neat rows.
Kirsty climbed the dry path, enjoying the effort. Doing something this physical took her away from where her mind wanted to go. She breathed in the fresh air. Stopped, closed her eyes and bathed in the silence. For a few brief moments, Saffron was put on mute. Now, all Kirsty could see was sunshine, daisies and blue sky. She remembered why she loved it here. The ability to be in the middle of nowhere in no time at all. Away from people.
It was what Saffron had told her she wanted, too.
But did she really? Her flat was in London. Half her life was in LA.
Kirsty shook her head, filled her lungs again and let out a piercing scream. The blood that had previously been tangled in her veins began to pump.
She screamed again.
A grin split her face.
This was what she needed. To shout and scream. It was a cheap therapy, but it worked wonders.
“Kirsty?”
Kirsty turned, then did a double take. Walking towards her was her dad. Dressed in hiking gear with those Nordic poles that were proving so popular with pensioners. However, this was the first Kirsty knew of her dad using them.
“What are you doing here?”
“Same as you, getting some air on this gorgeous day. If I want to eat cakes and pastries, your mother insists on it.” He patted his belly, then gave her a hug. “Did you hear that screaming? I was looking around, but I couldn’t see where it was coming from.” He regarded his daughter. “It wasn’t you, was it?”
Kirsty shook her head. “I didn’t hear anything.”
Her dad frowned. “Whatever it was, it sounded wounded.”
Kirsty was not going to fess up. Even though Dad was spot-on.
“You walking back?”
Kirsty checked her watch. She’d already been gone nearly half an hour.
“I’ll buy you a coffee and a cake, my treat,” he added.
That sealed the deal. Kirsty fell into step beside him as they clumped down the hill.
“Everything okay? You seem preoccupied.” Dad glanced her way. “Nothing to do with a certain movie star, is it?”
He always had been able to read her like a book. “Might be. Could be.” Kirsty shook her head. “Is.” A sigh. “It’s just, she’s gone back to London to talk to her agent about her next film. She doesn’t want to do it, but she doesn’t know if she might have to.”
“Doesn’t she have a say? It’s her life, after all.”
“Apparently, it’s not that easy. Plus, she’s going to be in the same room as her co-star. Who she had a
thing with.” Kirsty’s chest tightened again.
“Everyone’s got a past.” Dad gave her a look. “You’ve seen Anna since you split up.”
“But I haven’t been contemplating working with her again. That would be a nightmare.”
“She might have gone to London to get out of it. I imagine that might take a few meetings.”
Kirsty kicked a stone with her foot. “I know.”
He put a hand on her arm and they stopped walking. “You know what they say. If you love someone, set them free. If it’s meant to be, she’ll come back.”
Kirsty bit her lip, then nodded.
“You’re just going to have to trust her on this. And if it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be.” He took her hand and squeezed. “Come on. I’ll get you two cakes with your coffee. You look like you need it.”
Chapter 24
Saffron dashed from her flat after a rushed shower; her run to clear her mind had taken longer than she intended. Her London lunchtime attire, which would be absolutely out of place at the Poseidon Inn, but was necessary for the poshest restaurant in Soho, felt like a betrayal to who Saffron wanted to be.
Stepping out of the black cab, she checked her reflection in the glass, adjusting a wisp of hair before entering.
Pearl, with phone in hand, stalked the inside like a shark trying to pick up the scent of blood. “Don’t you look good enough to eat.”
Saffron offered her a tight-lipped smile, not trusting herself to speak.
“Echo’s running late, so let’s start in the bar.” Pearl gave a shrug that she probably hoped implied rolling with the punches, when Saffron suspected Echo was the one person who intimidated the agent.
Saffron wasn’t surprised at all Echo was running late. The woman was entirely convinced the sun revolved around her and no one could survive without her commanding presence.
The hostess led them to a quiet table in the bar, the place buzzing, but the scene reeked of overly made up people, all of their movements seeming to be directed by an invisible hand. A deadening sensation congealed inside Saffron.
After ordering a bottle of chilled white wine, Pearl, her eyes widening with anticipation, turned to Saffron. “So, how’s Sandy Cove? Going mad from boredom?”
“Not yet, no.”
“Well, that’s a blessing, I suppose.” Her face didn’t register a flicker of happiness, but calculation to twist things in her Pearl way. “We don’t have time to put you into some type of treatment to fix your mental state from taking months off.”
Saffron couldn’t comprehend how any of that made sense to anyone. More proof agents weren’t human.
“At least tell me you’ve had your fun and are ready to come back to work.” Pearl tapped her fingertips together.
Saffron ducked answering by nodding thank you to the woman who poured her drink.
Pearl’s bob of the head was much more dismissive, instead of grateful. “Here’s to your next great venture with Echo.”
Saffron sipped the wine, the trail of ice-cold liquid going down her throat leaving her numb.
Pearl’s gaze dug into Saffron. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Are you ready to get back to work?”
“Not really. I’m thinking I need another month—”
Pearl stuck a hand in the air, gold bangles clinking on her wrist. “Not possible. Do you think everyone involved in the project can wait for you to work out whatever angst you’re having? Millennials have no idea how the real world works. I’ve got news for you, dear. This sabbatical, or whatever you want to call it, is over. I’ll send someone to your Sandy Cove place and pack up your belongings. I’ve let you have your fun. It’s over. Got me?”
“I wasn’t aware you controlled all the aspects of my life, not just my career.”
“It’s all rolled into one. It’s best for you to accept that to avoid whatever this summer has been.” Her look of exaggerated disgust nearly caused Saffron to burst into laughter.
Once, the two of them had been to a curry place in Brick Lane, and a man sitting near them started to have a seizure. Everyone in the restaurant leapt into action, including Saffron who pulled the table and chairs away from the poor man. Pearl, though, grunted in disgust and continued eating naan.
Why did that memory flood Saffron at that moment?
Because Kirsty was right. Saffron needed to call time on her movie career.
“I’m starting to understand how all of this works with you in the picture.” How had it taken Saffron this long to see Pearl for who she really was? A greedy, vindictive, controlling arsehole.
Pearl softened her facial features, a heroic feat given the recent Botox injections Saffron knew the woman was addicted to. “I know you’re struggling with motivation right now. I’ll hire you the best people. The perkiest and liveliest to get you up in the morning and ready for this new and exciting adventure. This will be the best instalment of the Girl Racer franchise and I’m willing to bet, there’ll be five more after this.”
Saffron gulped her wine, needing the numbing sensation to return before she exploded and tossed the liquid in Pearl’s face.
Pearl reached for her hand, and gave it a pat. “We’ve been through worse together. Like when your parents died. I was there for you every day. I’m still here for you every day. We’ll navigate these troubled waters. Tell me what you need and—” she blew on her fingers, “And poof. I’ll make everything better.”
It was lines like the navigate one that had made Saffron feel better after her parents’ deaths. Making her feel like she wasn’t all alone and maybe Pearl actually did care. But the passing years proved beyond a doubt, Pearl only cared about what made her richer and more powerful.
Saffron slanted her head and crossed her arms. “Funny, because from my viewpoint, I have been telling you what I need—time away, and yet you’re insisting I stay your hostage.”
“Hostage!” Pearl scoffed. “I’ve done more for you than any of my other clients.”
“I make way more than all of your other clients combined.”
“Exactly! Which is why we have to nip this in the bud. Get you back in the saddle.” Pearl, much to Saffron’s horror, pretended to ride a horse, hollering, “Yee-haw!”
How had Saffron ever accepted the gauche woman? Had Pearl always been this Pearl-y or had Saffron’s success gone to the agent’s head? Either way, Saffron was horrified she’d kept Pearl in her life this long.
“Good afternoon, so sorry I’m late, babe.”
Saffron braced at hearing Echo’s voice, momentarily pressing her eyes shut, not wanting to have to confront Pearl and Echo in one go. Saffron wished Kirsty was there, giving a you can do it smile.
Before Saffron reopened her eyes, she prayed that the present circumstances were a bad dream and she’d wake in her bedroom in Sandy Cove. The sound of waves rolling in. Seagulls cawing. Children squealing in delight. And, she was tucked safely in her bed in Kirsty’s warm embrace.
Instead, the sound of glasses clinking and obnoxiously fake laughter invaded her ears and the sight of raven hair falling in waves around Echo’s shoulders, a faint constellation of freckles dusting her cheeks, and penetrating black eyes brought Saffron back to reality and she wanted to kick, punch, and scream.
Instead she said, “Glad you could make it on time, babe.”
Echo kissed Saffron’s cheek, ignoring the comment. “I swear you get lovelier every time I see you. But—” she glanced to Pearl and back to Saffron—“Why are you hiding at this table in the corner? This won’t do. Not at all.” She whirled about and an employee practically materialised from thin air. “We’re ready for our table.”
Pearl made a gasping sound, her hand clutching her throat.
Echo spun in her heels. “Are you dying?”
While Echo had a hand on Pearl’s shoulder, there was no hiding what her tone implied: You’d better be dying because you’re annoying the fuck out of me and sucking all the attention from m
e.
Oh Christ. Both of these women were embarrassingly terrible. Saffron’s insides went cold with the knowledge she’d let them into her life.
Pearl sputtered, letting lose a string of sounds that bore no resemblance to the English language all the while pointing at whatever was on her phone.
Echo met Saffron’s eye, silently asking, Can you believe this act?
In the beginning, one of the things Echo and Saffron had bonded over was their annoyance with Pearl. How ridiculously pushy and over-the-top Saffron’s agent could be. But when Saffron started to dig beneath Echo’s surface only to discover what the woman was truly like, there wasn’t much to be desired on that front. Echo was a petty person in pretty packaging used to being fawned over and her star had risen so high, she no longer had to disguise her controlling, bitchy nature.
Like showing up to lunch late to make a stunning entrance. Everything about Echo was staged. She was exactly like Saffron’s parents.
Wait. Saffron shook her head. What just happened? When the thought Echo was like her parents slammed through the walls around Saffron’s heart, she let out a yelp.
Echo focused on Saffron, wrapping an arm about her. “Are you okay, babe?”
Saffron tried to free herself from Echo’s grasp, but ended up being pulled closer, Echo placing Saffron’s head to her breast, stroking her hair with a tenderness Saffron knew the woman didn’t possess.
“I’m sorry, but I have to go.” Pearl hopped off her seat. “One of my client’s wrapped his Porsche around a palm tree in Beverly Hills and the story is about to break on TMZ. I have no doubt you two can work out the particulars.”
With that, Pearl fled the restaurant, and Echo slid into the empty bar stool, dismissing the poor server with a flick of the wrist. Reaching over, she held Saffron’s hand. “Tell me what’s troubling you, doll.”
“Why does everyone keep asking me to open up my heart only to ignore the words that come out? It’s like I don’t exist.”
