by Clare Lydon
Greg and Rufus walked past and gave her a wave. It took everything Kirsty had to wave back and not take it out on them. To everyone else, she probably looked like she had the world at her feet. To some extent, she did. She had her health, her family, her hut, a fresh mug of coffee. However, everything else she counted on—her business and her love life—had broken in two yesterday. Just like that: snap.
Her insides wobbled anew.
She sat up straighter and took a deep breath of the ocean. Not even that soothed her. She’d allow herself some time to wallow, but after that, she had to get a grip.
She was Kirsty McBride.
She’d dealt with worse.
A divorce.
Her business in peril.
She’d risen from the ashes before and she could do it again.
She dropped her head. Only, losing Saffron was going to take some getting used to. Even the thought left her winded.
Kirsty picked up her phone and clicked on Saffron’s Instagram account. It was full of images of her and Echo, and she’d been glued to it all night. Why had she never looked before? It told her everything she needed to know. She’d been blind, she saw that now. Blind and stupid. In both love and in friendship.
She took another deep breath, staring out to the flat sea beyond, the sun just starting to bathe its surface.
When it came to Helena, she was still in shock on a completely different level. Kirsty expected lovers to fuck her over, that wasn’t new. But friends? It was almost too much to bear.
Helena had sent her a barrage of texts last night. Kirsty hadn’t read them. What more was there to say? The damage was done, and Helena was the architect.
When Kirsty lifted her head and glanced down the coastal path, her stomach rolled. Anger uncoiled in her gut.
Talk of the devil. Helena was walking her way. She had some front, Kirsty would give her that.
Helena approached the beach hut slowly. She was carrying something in her hands. It was only when she got closer Kirsty saw what it was.
“What do you want?” She wasn’t going to be bought that easily. “You can’t just turn up here with an iced bun round and think that’ll make everything okay.”
Helena nodded. “I know. I owe you a huge apology. The biggest one in the whole wide world. I just thought if you were eating an iced bun, I’d have time to speak.” She walked slowly up the short grassy incline, then stepped onto the white wooden porch. Helena put the bun round on the table next to Kirsty’s coffee.
Kirsty’s stomach growled. Traitor. She wasn’t going to eat it. She was going to stay strong.
“I don’t see there’s anything you can say that’s going to change what’s happened.” Kirsty stiffened. She hated conflict, and the last 24 hours had been a clusterfuck of it. “I came here for some peace. I don’t appreciate you disturbing it.”
But when Helena’s face fell, Kirsty gave in a little. Perhaps Helena had an explanation? Kirsty sighed. “Just say what you’ve got to say, then go.”
Helena gave her a firm nod. “Okay.” She pulled back her shoulders. “I completely get I’m in the wrong and I fucked up here. So let me put that out there right now. What happened is not okay and it’s my fault.”
Kirsty nodded. “You got that right.”
Helena took a deep breath before she continued. “However, they’re not the promo pages I’ve had Anton working on for the past few weeks. Yes, I was going to do a page using some photos of Saffron that I’d snapped, saying she loves our wines, using her celebrity. I was hoping you’d say yes when you saw it was tastefully done, just to drum up a bit more business. I really couldn’t see why you didn’t want to. Saffron was a gift dropped in our lap.” She held up a hand to stop Kirsty from speaking.
“And yes, I know that was wrong. After a while, I got that. I mocked up the page after the Oyster Festival, but I told Anton to ditch it. I created the ones that are there now with quotes from people all around the town instead, just like we agreed. It was the right thing to do. Particularly after you got to know her, and you got to like her.” She put a hand to her chest. “I really liked her, too. Until she broke your heart.”
Helena shook her head. “Anyway, the new promo pages celebrate our wines and Sandy Cove wine lovers. But Anton put up the Saffron page by mistake, too. The photos were still in the promo pages folder, which is my fault. He’s corrected it now and it’s already live. When I got home last night, I made sure he worked on it until it was fixed.”
Helena stared at her anxiously.
Kirsty held her gaze. Her anger was still red hot in her throat. “I specifically asked you not to do this. I trusted you. Mistake or not, that still stands.”
Helena dropped her head. “I know. I’ve learned a lesson, believe me. Especially if it costs me my business.” She raised her head. “You can still trust me, even though it might take a while to rebuild. I get it.” She stabbed her chest with her finger. “But I’m begging you, Kirsty. Please don’t go to the bank. Don’t break up the business. I love working with you, and yes, this was a massive misstep. Anton is so sorry, too. He’s said he’ll work at the shop for free for as long as it takes to make up for it. But just to make it clear, this is my fault, not his. I’m not shifting the blame.”
She cleared her throat. “What’s more, I hate the thought I’ve contributed in some way to you and Saffron breaking up. Especially after it had only just begun.” Helena got down on one knee and clutched Kirsty’s balled fist. “I really hate it. With every atom of my being. You of all people deserve happiness.”
Kirsty’s stomach rolled again. But this time, the anger was flushed away. They’d known each other since school. There was no malice behind Helena’s actions. Could she forgive her for a simple but costly mistake? She still wasn’t sure.
“I love you, Kirsty. I wouldn’t do anything intentionally to hurt you.” Helena’s eyes were watery. “Anton and I have just come from Saffron’s place. We went round and explained, so she knows you had nothing to do with it.”
Now Kirsty welled up. “Did she believe you? Or did she think I was responsible?”
Helena shook her head. “She believed us. And by the way, she looked just as much a wreck as you do. Red eyes. She’d been crying. She was unpacking boxes, too. Looked like she’d brought stuff back from London. If she needs to be reassured it really was me, I can go round again every day till she believes me.”
Kirsty shook her head, unfurling her fists. “What’s the point? She didn’t trust me, and I didn’t trust her. If that’s the case so early in our yet-to-get-off-the-ground relationship, I’d say it’s doomed.” She pulled her hands from Helena. “Plus, as soon as she got the chance, she ran back to her superstar.”
“You might think that today, but maybe tomorrow may be different. She didn’t look like she was heading back to Echo Black any time soon.” Helena stood up with a groan, then eyed the other chair. “Can I sit down? Am I at least semi-forgiven?”
Kirsty leaned back in her chair, before letting out a frustrated breath. “You might want to make yourself a coffee if we’re going to have an iced bun together.”
A half-smile split Helena’s face. She stepped towards Kirsty.
Kirsty held up a hand.
Helena stopped in her tracks.
“I’m still mad at you. You still have a lot of making up to do. But one break-up is as much as I can take in 24 hours.” Kirsty pointed at Helena. “You’re on probation, okay?”
“Probation is as good as I can hope for.” She stepped inside the beach hut, before coming straight back. “Shall I make a fresh pot?”
Kirsty gave her a nod. More coffee was definitely needed.
Chapter 29
Ginger swung the door open, took one look at her baby sister, and then opened her arms wide. “Come here.”
Saffron unable to lift her own arms to return the hug, fell stiffly into Ginger’s embrace.
“I’m guessing this is girl trouble. Nothing in the world wrecks a person
more than a broken heart.” Ginger held on tight.
“I should have known better than to get involved with anyone,” Saffron mumbled into Ginger’s shoulder.
Ginger wrapped an arm around Saffron’s shoulder, guiding them to the back door. “Let’s chat in the garden. Go on. I’ll get the wine.”
Saffron sat in the chair closest to the door, not caring the view of the sea was blocked by the dark green clematis climbing a trellis, the white flowers long gone for the season. The sound of people merrily chatting as they strolled on the promenade and the whiff of grilled fish irritated Saffron. How dare people go about their happy lives while hers had been smashed to pieces by Echo Black, Pearl, and Helena. Not to mention, Saffron had started to believe she found her forever home, along with her forever person.
That’d gone up in smoke almost as swiftly as the flame had sparked between them.
Movement outside of the garden caught her eye, and she lowered the brim of the baseball hat where she could hardly see. The paparazzi had been relentless since the Echo stunt.
“Kirsty gave me this bottle of white and I think it’s the perfect chilled wine for whatever this is.” Ginger circled a finger in the air.
“You don’t drink white,” Saffron snapped, regretting immediately biting Ginger’s head off simply because she’d dare mention Kirsty’s name.
“This is part of my rebirth. Kirsty’s been showing me how a lot of what I believed about myself was based on Dave’s likes and dislikes. And, as it turns out, I dig white wine.”
Saffron refused to accept the glass, still unable to set aside her bitterness.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.” Ginger forced it into the clenched hand.
Saffron took a deep breath.
Ginger grabbed a chair, placing it in front of her sister. “Start at the beginning.”
“Why? The only part that matters is the end.”
“Not true, because what led to this moment is the part that can be fixed.” Ginger sipped the wine, crossing her legs.
“Not every problem has a solution. It’s not like I inserted the wrong number into a Sudoku puzzle.”
“You’re terrible at maths, so I can’t picture you trying one.” Ginger’s face crumpled with disbelief.
“I find them oddly calming when flying.” Saffron picked at a thread on her shirt cuff.
“Stop stalling. What happened between you and Kirsty?”
“I never said anything about Kirsty.” Saffron’s nostrils flared.
“Not with words, but your puffy eyes, pouty expression, stuffy nose, and refusing a glass of Kirsty’s wine are screaming heartbreak.” Ginger slanted her head. “If you don’t stop stalling, I’ll ring Kirsty and have her explain.”
“Go ahead and please enquire why she’s convinced I’m shagging Echo Black. The one person on this planet I wouldn’t be caught dead with, let alone fuck.” Saffron dug her fingernails into her own palm.
“The video wasn’t great.” Ginger pinched the bridge of her nose.
Saffron’s eyes narrowed. “You watched it?”
“It’s safe to assume everyone in your life saw it. I have to hand it to Echo, she knows how to go viral. Too bad she hasn’t caught the clap or syphilis. I think the latter could kill her.”
“It wouldn’t kill her. She would have just given it to me. The woman is great at walking away after blowing everything to smithereens.” Saffron made a kaboom sound.
“Let’s circle back to Kirsty.”
Saffron ground her teeth.
“Okay, since you refuse to speak, which I’m willing to bet is one of the sources of trouble with Kirsty, I’m going to take a stab at it. Kirsty won’t listen to you about Echo and how much you despise her. I can see her point—”
“How?” Saffron roared.
“Because there are countless photos of you two together looking beautiful and happy together. Even before the other night. How many red carpets have you graced together? Award shows? Nights out?”
Saffron rested her head on the back of the chair, gazing into the violet sky as night slowly descended. “That’s all for show. Everything about that part of my life is for others, not me.”
Ginger squeezed Saffron’s arm. “I know that, but not everyone understands that. You’re so secretive, which keeps everyone away from you, and I understand that’s your goal. However, if you want a chance to let Kirsty in, you can’t bury the parts of your life you don’t want on display for the public.”
“I don’t know how to do that.” Saffron wiped away a tear.
“I’ve found talking helps when communicating.”
Saffron levelled her gaze on her sister, the wetness making it difficult to see clearly. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Explain it to me, please.”
“How can I trust her? Or anyone? Helena explained about the website, but still, it happened. What’s to stop something like that occurring in the future? It’ll always be in the back of my mind.” Saffron flicked a hand in the air, before letting it fall into her lap.
Ginger perked up in her seat. “What happened with what website? Remember, you have to fill in the gaps and not assume everyone knows all the important details.”
“The website isn’t the actual issue. It all comes back to the same thing. Someone sharing photos that weren’t meant to be shared. Echo is the master, but Helena comes in second.”
“How does Helena factor in?” Ginger squinted one eye, as if trying to slot everything into place, but failing.
“She’s been taking photos of me, and building a promo page on the shop’s website, because why not.” Saffron flicked a helpless hand in the air. “I don’t deserve privacy or respect from anyone. Maybe I should become a hermit.”
“No hermitting,” Ginger scolded.
“That’s not a word.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Ginger reached for her phone and spoke in an exasperated voice, “Just tell me what website you’re talking about.”
“Wine Time, but that particular page is down.”
Ginger acted out throttling Saffron. “Words. I need them to know what the bloody hell is going on.”
“Helena had Anton, her son, created a promo page for the shop that exploited my name saying Saffron Oliver gets all her wine from it. An endorsement I never gave permission for, not to mention the photos Helena had furtively snapped. The night I went to London, Anton accidentally made it live.” Saffron made quote marks.
“Do you think Anton and Helena are lying?”
“No.” Saffron tugged her shirtsleeves past her wrists, the night air growing chilly.
“Do you believe Kirsty had a role in it?”
“No.”
“Then what’s really bugging you?”
“Both things happened on the exact same night. Echo and the website. And both Kirsty and I believed the absolute worst about the other. Doesn’t that say something?”
“Two things: bad luck and lack of communication.” Ginger displayed two fingers in the air.
Saffron shook her head. “No. It’s not that simple. Every time I trust someone, I get burned.”
“If I’m following the story, Kirsty didn’t betray you.”
“She didn’t believe me, either. I told her that lunch with Echo was a setup, but…” Saffron hitched a shoulder.
“Can you try seeing it from her side?”
“Are you implying I’m not trustworthy?” Saffron’s blood turned to molten lava and she forced her sleeves up her forearms.
“Not at all. I think a lot of women would be jealous of Echo Black. Not only is she insanely beautiful, successful, and rich, she’s confident as hell. That combination would be difficult for many to banish from their thoughts.”
“She’s not that confident. She constantly needs praise and to be admired.”
“You know that, but the rest of the world doesn’t.” Ginger sighed. “Just because you understand what’s in your heart, doesn’t mean anyone else does, no mat
ter how close they are to you.”
“Do you think I’m shagging Echo?”
“Not a fair premise. You’ve opened up to me about her. And, I’ve known you since the day you took your first breath.” Ginger leaned forward in her chair. “If you want Kirsty to believe you and Echo are over, have a heart to heart with her. Let her in completely.”
“It’s not just Echo. I don’t want to go back to London. I don’t want to act anymore. I need a fresh start. On every front. I’m exhausted and if I don’t make changes now, I don’t know how I’ll survive.”
“Are you serious? About giving it all up?” For the first time during the conversation, there was hopefulness in Ginger’s expression.
Saffron nodded.
“You have no idea how happy that makes me. You’ve been miserable for so long.”
“I really have.” Saffron sniffed. “Why did it take me so long to see what was right in front of me?”
“It’s hard to pinpoint the source of misery when you don’t allow yourself time to stop and think. You’ve been going full speed for half of your life. Running further and further away from the shadow of Mum and Dad. Maybe it’s time to stop running. Start confronting your demons. I’ve been so worried I’d lose you forever and only be left with the shell of my beautiful baby sister.”
Saffron wiped her eyes with a sleeve. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Sometimes you have to come to these realisations on your own and besides, would you have listened?” Ginger’s slanted head said no.
“I guess we’ll never know.”
“Nice try, Saff. You’re the most stubborn person I know and you have to figure out things on your own. I’m just glad you no longer take appliances apart to see how they work. I can’t start my day without a coffee and toasted tea cake.”
“Where’s your tool kit?” Saffron started to rise from her chair.
“You’re such a pain in the arse. Sit down. Tell me what your plan is.” Ginger eagerly tapped her fingers together.
