“You want me to invest it for you?”
“Something short-term and highly profitable,” he said bluntly. “You’re the one with all the education. Do something useful with it and with my stake. Take good care of it, Cidra. Lose my capital for me and I’ll—”
“I know,” she said. “You’ll take it out of my hide.” She was gazing up at him with a palpable glow as she clutched the credit slip tightly in her palm. “I’ll take care of your stake for you, Severance. I swear it.”
He smiled crookedly. “I know you will. I trust you.”
Not with his heart and not yet with his future, but he trusted her with his credit. It was a hopeful sign, and Cidra clung to it. She dropped the credit slip carefully into the concealed pocket of her robe. It was a bond between herself and Severance, one that would surely draw him back for no other reason than to find out what she had done with his capital. Any kind of trust at all from a Wolf like Severance was a small miracle.
“You will be very careful, Severance?”
“I’ll be careful.” He touched the tip of her ear. “You’ll go straight home to Clementia and stay out of second-class taverns and dives?”
“I promise.”
“Cidra—” He broke off as if uncertain about what to say next.
Cidra touched his hand. “It’s all right, Severance. I understand. It has to be this way. This is the only way you can be sure of yourself and of me.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed him lightly. Then she stepped back. “I’ll be waiting for you.” She turned and was gone.
Severance felt his gut twist as she walked into the crowd of departing passengers. Her slender, green-robed figure was lost amid the hulking uniforms and standard-issue Renaissance jungle garb. For an instant he almost gave into the sense of panic that was clawing at his insides. She was out of reach already. The panel doors of the boarding gate were sealing shut, cutting her off from him, perhaps forever.
He had been a fool. He should have taken his chances, should have risked the odds and kept her with him. He’d taken so many risks in his life; why hadn’t he been able to take this one?
But he had no right to try to make up her mind for her. She needed time and the peace of Clementia. Only then could she be sure of what she was doing.
Severance reached into a small pouch on his utility belt and let his fingers close around the fireberyl comb. The feel of it seemed to soothe the gnawing uncertainty that he knew was going to be a close companion during the long weeks ahead.
TWENTY
QED looked different on this trip, Severance realized as he oversaw the unloading of the mail. The endless vistas of orange and red dust were as barren and forbidding as ever, but the sight of them no longer made his stomach tighten or caused his mind to beat at him in angry frustration.
Revenge was exactly what he had always suspected it would be: calming and satisfying. It hadn’t taken away the old pain or allowed him to forget his own sense of responsibility for what had happened to Jeude, but it had quieted him inside. The pain and the feeling of being partially responsible were things he had already learned to live with during the past two years. Time diluted the self-recriminations and would continue to do so. But exacting a measure of justice had eased him inside in a way that time would never have succeeded in doing. Racer’s death had paid not only for the threats to Cidra but also for Jeude’s death, and it had balanced some internal scale.
QED was never going to be his idea of the ideal vacation spot of the Stanza Nine system. The planet would always hold memories of the death of his parents and his brother. But Severance could view the raw, boomtown of Proof and the outlying orange hills with a sense of perspective now. It occurred to him that it wasn’t simply revenge that had enabled him to gain perspective. He had learned something from Cidra too. Her gentleness had also eased something inside him.
This was an ore- and mineral-rich land. Companies and individuals were wresting fortunes out of the ground with the assistance of the ubiquitous spidersleds. Severance was obliged to step out of the way of one of the mobile metal monsters as he crossed the landing field to the port office. Its long, insectlike legs, so useful for covering rough terrain, narrowly missed his boot.
“Hey, up there,” he yelled to the man in the driver’s seat, “if you can’t operate that thing properly, someone’s going to show you how it’s done the hard way.”
“Don’t need any advice on how to do it the hard way,” the middle-aged ex-miner rasped. “I do it that way all the time. Back again, huh, Severance? Miss the local fun spots?”
“The only thing I’ve missed is taking your loose credit in a game of Free Market, Tanner.” Severance stopped beside the spidersled as the man halted it. “You interested in trying to take back some of what you lost last time I was in Port?”
“Sure, if we can use my cubes.” Tanner grinned hugely, his weathered face crinkling into a hundred creases.
“The day I let you use your cubes is the day I’ll be too spaced to play.”
“Don’t trust anyone, do you, Severance?” Tanner observed with mock admiration.
Severance thought about it. At one time his answer would have been a ready no. “Maybe one woman I know.”
“Severance, you’re a damn fool if the one person you decide to trust is female. I do believe you’ve got a problem.”
“I’m coping. See you this evening. And I’ll bring the cubes.” He moved away from the spidersled as it lurched into motion.
One night was all he would be spending on QED this trip. Severance no longer cared if he missed a few mail contracts by rushing back off-planet. He didn’t care that he would be turning around to face another six weeks of empty space without more than a one night’s break. All he cared about was starting the journey back to Lovelady.
The six weeks from Renaissance had been the longest and loneliest of his life, even worse than the dark season after Jeude’s death. At least during that period he’d had his own bitterness and self-reproach to keep him company. But for the past six weeks the only company he’d had aside from Fred had been memories of Cidra.
The ship had seemed deserted without her. It had amazed Severance at first. He was accustomed to being alone on board with only Fred as a companion. He shouldn’t have been so shocked to find himself alone again, but he was. He would wake up in the morning longing for the smell of hot coffade and someone to share it with. He would stand under the spray in the lav, and his mind would be filled with images of Cidra’s charming tendency to waste water. She was so scrupulously clean and sweet-smelling.
He missed other things too. She’d had the ability to share time with him without demanding that he entertain her. Cidra was a woman with whom he could be quiet. For hours at a time she had retreated to her bunk to read or become absorbed in her programming while he worked out on the exercise machine or fiddled with a gadget. But he had always been pleasantly conscious of her presence, a satisfying sensation. She had become a companion, not just a passenger.
She had withstood his temper too. Severance knew he had been abrupt with her on more than one occasion. But she’d handled it without sulking or crying.
Most of all he missed having her in his arms. The memories of her sweet, hot warmth had plagued him every league of the way from Renaissance, and Severance knew he would be goaded by them every league of the trip back. There had been other thoughts that had eaten at him too. He’d found himself picturing her at home in Clementia, surrounded by the serenity and ritual in which she had been raised.
But a part of him had begun to insist that his Cidra could never be truly happy in Clementia. When all was said and done, she was no Harmonic. Her passion, her spirit, and her strength would forever bar her from her world just as surely as her lack of telepathy.
If Cidra wasn’t fated to be happy in Clementia, then he had a right to take her with him. That knowledge had been growing steadily since he had put her on the freighter back to Lovelady. He had a right to take her, Severance decided, be
cause she belonged to him now. She would always belong to him. If she didn’t yet realize that, then he would have to make her understand.
The restless desire to be on his way back to claim his woman made Severance lengthen his stride toward the port offices. The sooner he completed his business on QED, the better. The most important thing in his life was waiting.
“You’ll go with him when he comes for you, won’t you, Cidra?” Talina Peacetree smiled gently at her daughter, who sat across from her on a white stone bench. The bench had been handcarved by an expert craftsman who had worked the hard substance into a light and balanced piece of sculpture. It had cost a great deal of credit, but Talina and her husband, Garn, could afford it. The garden in which the stone bench resided was even more expensive. It was shaded with a unique variety of graceful pala trees that had been cultivated to order. Formal swirls of flowering plants added color and scent to the perfectly designed scene. All was serene.
“If he comes for me, I’ll go with him.” Cidra finished the last step of the highly ritualized ceremony that proceeded the serving of ether wine and handed her mother a crystal goblet full of the golden liquid. Her green eyes met those of her mother. “I will be going away even if he doesn’t come for me.”
Talina nodded with an air of quiet acceptance. “I know. I have always known that one day you would leave. But remember that Clementia will always be here for you when you wish to return for a while.”
“I would never cut myself off from my home. Even though I am not a true Harmonic, the Way is a part of me.”
“It is a part of all humans,” Talina said.
Cidra’s mouth curved in amusement. “That’s what Severance once said.”
“Your Severance sounds perceptive.”
“He’s also occasionally rude, arrogant, and obnoxious.”
“He’s a Wolf.” Talina’s hand moved gracefully in her lap. She was wearing one of her exquisite early-afternoon gowns, a cream-colored robe embroidered with silver floss. Her silvered hair was bound in the same regal coronet that Cidra wore. She had bequeathed many of her features to her daughter, but in Talina those features were overlaid with an internal serenity that Cidra could only approximate.
“I am also a Wolf.”
Talina watched her daughter as she made the quiet declaration. “It is not difficult for you to accept that now?”
“No.”
“Then your adventures on Renaissance have indeed been worthwhile. You have learned much.”
“I have learned to accept myself for what I am. But the most interesting part is that even if I were offered a clear choice now, I would not choose to become a Harmonic. I don’t think I could bear to give up what I have found waiting inside myself.”
“Then you will be content with your future. I am glad for you, my daughter. Most glad.” She sipped the wine and then turned her elegant head as her husband stepped into the garden from his study. “Ah, Garn. Will you join us for a glass of wine?”
“With pleasure.” Garn came forward to sit beside his wife. His clear blue eyes were full of intelligence as he regarded Cidra. Garn Oquist wore the shorter, masculine version of the early-afternoon surplice, a deep brown robe belted with a knotted thong of multicolored braided floss. His handsome face with its strong nose and high forehead held the same air of inner serenity that his wife’s wore.
When Garn took his seat beside his wife, Cidra sensed the brief, silent mental communion that took place between her parents. It was a quiet touching of minds that Cidra had once envied with all her heart. Once that subtle communication had made her feel left out and deprived. But today she found she was accepting it for what it was: a Harmonic way that she could not follow. She had other methods of communication open to her. They might be less certain, more vulnerable to risk, but when they worked, they worked well. She was satisfied with them now. They held their own rewards.
“What are the two of you discussing?” her father asked.
“My future,” Cidra said with a smile. “But the truth is that I’ve got something far more immediate and important to discuss with you, Father. I need advice in one of your areas of expertise.”
“Which one?” Garn sampled his wine with judicious care. He had many areas of expertise, some of which had made him rich.
“The theoretical aspects of the credit system.”
“I never realized you had an interest in the financial system.” “I never had enough credit to make it worth worrying about.” Cidra’s smile broadened into a small grin.
“But now you do.”
“Yes,” she said. “Now I do. I want to invest, Father—the full five hundred thousand.”
Her father had been considering his daughter’s fortune ever since he learned of it. Now he spoke his mind. “Whoever negotiated the sale of your discoveries did an excellent job.”
“I know. But now it’s my turn. I’m in charge of investing the credit. Something high-yield and relatively short-term.”
Garn reflected seriously for a long moment and then nodded. “There are some young and aggressive exploration firms that offer excellent prospects. According to my information they are presently seeking capital investment. One in particular, a firm called ExcellEx, has intrigued me lately. We can query your computer about it this afternoon if you would care to do so.”
“That sounds perfect.” Of course, it would be perfect, thought Cidra. Most things were perfect in Clementia. For the first time she understood one of the reasons why she had never really felt at home here. Great quantities of perfection and serenity could be a little boring.
Severance paused inside the gates of Clementia and gazed at the vista of gardens and beautifully proportioned architecture. Here there were no ugly or jarring structures that had been hastily erected or incompletely thought out prior to construction. Around him people garbed in simple, elegant robes nodded politely as they passed him on the wide stone paths that wound through the gardens. There was no shushing sound of a passing runner or sled. As far as Severance could see, there were no vehicles at all.
Behind the small, walled city rose the majestic coastal mountains. In front of the gates stretched a quiet, sheltered bay that rarely knew the turbulence of sea storms. Jeude would have been at peace here.
Severance took a deep, steadying breath and reminded himself that while this would have been the ideal environment for his brother, it was not for Cidra. He made his way toward the Archives, a structure that had been pointed out for him by the Wolf who guarded the gate.
“You can’t miss it. Big domed building in the center of the campus.” The Wolf had regarded Severance quizzically. “You here to attend classes?”
“No,” Severance had answered. “I’m here to find someone.”
“Who?”
“Cidra Rainforest. She works in the Archives.” He had waited impatiently while the Wolf had contacted Cidra’s home.
“I talked to her mother. Seems Otanna Rainforest is expecting you.” The guard had waved him through the gates.
There were other non-Harmonics in the vicinity, probably students who attended the university, but the majority of the people wore the formal gowns and serene expressions of true Harmonics. Among them Severance felt large, awkward, and out of place. Rather like a torla in a garden. Not for the first time that day doubts rose to undermine his determination. Cidra wasn’t a torla in this garden. With her grace and poise she could blend in beautifully.
But the weeks of gathering uncertainty had done their work well. He had to find her and take her with him. She might be able to mingle with Harmonics, but under the surface she was his passionate, loving woman, and if she had forgotten that in the time she had been back in Clementia, he would remind her. He needed her with him.
Severance found the Archives without further instructions. The curved structure seemed to rest almost unsupported on the ground, its diazite walls protecting the array of computers, study areas, and treasured bound volumes within. The bits and pieces of know
ledge that had survived the crash of the colony ship had formed the heart of Clementia’s Archives. In the intervening years a great deal of new information had been added. It was the center of learning for the Stanza Nine system.
Only when he was inside the building did Severance realize just how large it was. He would need help in locating Cidra.
“Try History. She works with First Family files a lot,” an attendant at the front desk told him. “Straight ahead and to your left.”
Severance followed the directions to a room that had been designated as the repository of First Family diaries and written records. He saw Cidra almost at once. She was wearing a morning robe, her neat head bent attentively toward a computer screen. She didn’t notice him. For a long moment Severance simply stood staring at her, waiting for the sudden, aching surge of hunger to fade back to more manageable proportions. Sweet Harmony, but he had missed her! What in a renegade’s hell was he going to do if she hadn’t missed him?
She looked up at that moment and saw him.
“Severance!” Then she was on her feet, flying toward him with a lover’s welcome in her eyes.
He caught her up fiercely and swung her around as she threw herself into his arms. The exhilaration washing over him was almost shattering in its intensity. He realized he was shaking. “I’ve come to steal you out of Paradise.”
“It’s about time you got here.”
“I know” He captured her face between his hands and kissed her. “I know”
It was a long time later before Severance had Cidra to himself. Her parents had been gracious and hospitable, accepting him immediately. He had been grateful for that. One niggling concern he’d had to face on the long trip back to Lovelady was the issue of how he would deal with a set of Harmonic in-laws. But with Harmonic civility Talina and Garn had taken all obstacles out of his path. They were content with their daughter’s decision. And with Garn, at least, Severance had found some common ground. He had spent two hours going over the investment program Cidra’s father had mapped out.
LC01 Sweet Starfire Page 34
