“You saw me? When?”
“We were sophomores. This is the embarrassing part.” He took a deep breath. “You were still my angel—a fantasy to me. I kinda started stalking you.”
“You what?”
The red glow started at his ears and spread quickly to his cheeks as he blushed.
“No one on campus ever really paid much attention to me. I called myself Mr. Invisible because I could blend in so well. I travel light with just my cell phone, a credit card, and my ID. I only carry one key for the apartment. Nothing jangles when I walk. And I don’t like shoes that make noise. I’m sort of sound sensitive, maybe because I’m a musician?” I remembered the guitar in his room and on the soundtrack of his tribute video. “So I test out my shoes before I buy them to make sure that they don’t squeak or tap or clomp. Add in my camera and my desire to get good candid shots, and I’m a regular ninja.”
“But you’re beautiful.”
He smiled a sad smile. “Not really. I’m not noticeable at all.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because while stalking you I got into your line of sight as often as I could, only you never noticed me.”
My mouth dropped open. How could I have missed him? Why wouldn’t I have noticed Marcello? It turned out I didn’t have to ask my questions out loud.
“You never had a girlfriend, so I figured you might be gay. You hung out with gay guys sometimes, but then you’d suddenly avoid each other. So, I figured that you might not be gay. After a while I noticed that you were purposely avoiding looking at any guys. It was like you were trying to become Mr. Invisible. Let me tell you, it’s no fun.”
He was right and I knew it.
“It sounds like you have a filmmaker’s eye with attention to detail,” I said.
“Not much gets past me. Except you did. That is until that night. I’d been planning my costume for months, and I started growing out my goatee and my hair so that I’d really look the part. I was done being angry at the world. I wanted to go out and conquer it.”
“Why were you—?” That’s right. His mom had died.
He took a deep breath. “In a couple of weeks, Mom will have been gone a full year.” He wiped his eye. “I can’t believe that it’s been that long. At the same time, it seems like it’s been forever. There was so much to do when she died, and I was lost. Dad came and helped me out. He really still loved her even though they couldn’t stay married. He offered again to let me come live with him. He promised no conditions. I could have boyfriends to the house if I wanted. But I’d never had one before, and at the time, I couldn’t imagine ever having one.”
“Wait a minute. You said it had been a long time since….” I looked around and didn’t see anyone, but I still dropped my voice to a whisper. “Since….” Now I didn’t know what word I wanted to fill in.
Marcello whispered, “Since I’d shoved a dildo up my ass?” Then he laughed. He went on in a conversational tone. He obviously didn’t care if anyone overheard. “You’re the only live man I’ve ever let fuck me, or do anything else for that matter. I’ve kissed a few guys at the bar, but I always chickened out before ever going home with them.”
“So how do you know so much?”
“Porn is movies too, you know? I have to keep up with the latest, um, film techniques.” He laughed.
I wanted to change the subject. “So, the night I finally met you?”
“I’d tell you it was a total accident, but I don’t believe in accidents anymore. I think everything happens for a reason. After my mom died, I went to Father Christopher to talk. I didn’t like any of the answers he gave me. They just didn’t ring true. So, I started reading. I found all kinds of New Age philosophy books. The best one was by some doctor who hypnotized people to take them back to past lives and figure out what they were doing wrong in this life. Only people started stopping in the middle—between lives. He ended up writing all about what happens on the other side. He’s the guy who said there is no hell—everyone goes to heaven. I found another book about angels. Okay, maybe I was thinking of you when I picked it up.”
I blushed.
“Anyway, that’s the book that said that Satan was one of God’s beloved angels and he was doing what he did because he loved God.”
“But if there is no hell—”
“Then the devil is with God. That’s when I realized that God gave us evil to encourage us to be good. When bad things happen, good people step up to become better people. It all made sense to me. It didn’t make sense to Father Christopher.”
“Maybe it did,” I told Marcello. “Father Christopher told me that you challenged his faith and made him think. He said I did too. He also said I needed to have faith in myself and trust what feels right to me.”
“I wished he would have told me that. He only told me to have faith in what the Church teaches. He tried to use that as a reason to believe that my mom went to heaven. But she was divorced, and she didn’t think it was a sin. Somebody had to be wrong. I decided it was the Church.”
“So you quit going back?”
“Until I met you. Gabriel, I’d follow you to hell and back, if I believed in such a place. In fact, these past few days have been nothing but hell for me. I’ve spent all of my time working on the same twelve seconds of film that you saw today, and it hasn’t changed one bit.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I told you, there are no accidents. Everything happens for a reason. The night I met you, I nearly pulled the door closed before I remembered I needed my ID. I ran back up and got it, and just as I came out onto the street, I saw you not three feet in front of me. Like I said, I’ve been stalking you. I could easily spot you from the back in the dark. For half a second I thought about just hiding in the shadow until you were gone, but my stupid joke came out of my mouth without going through my brain first.” He laughed.
“And you appeared out of nowhere.”
“And I decided to play a part—I have to know a little something about acting to be a filmmaker. Pretending to be the devil made it easier for me to flirt with you. The real Marcello hasn’t said one word to you in nearly two years. But trust me, I didn’t expect you to believe that I was anything but a guy dressed up for Halloween.”
“I didn’t at first, but on Halloween night when you took me to the apartment and showed me the picture of the woman who had died…. Well, it all sounded too true.”
Marcello was somber. “That’s because it was. I tried to tell you the truth right after, but the words wouldn’t come out. I thought I was ready to talk about what had happened, but I’d only finished the tribute film a week before. It was easier to pretend that these people were random strangers. It was easier to talk about them in the third person. Still, I was sure you’d recognize me in some of the pictures.”
“Not without the goatee.” For fun I added, “Or the horns.”
He laughed. “I watch too many movies. The devil costume was the best that I could do to match some Las Vegas dancers from the Elvira: Mistress of the Dark movie. That was my Saturday costume. I’d planned on shaving my goatee and cutting my hair to be an angel from the movie The Big Gay Musical for Halloween, but I knew that you’d make a much better angel, Angel.”
We’d been scooting closer together ever since we sat down. It was like we were magnetically drawn to each other. Marcello took my hand in both of his.
“I know I was playing the part of the devil asking you for your eternal soul, but the truth is that I gave you mine. You’re not the angel altar boy I fell in love with so many years ago, and I’m not some devil here to trick you in any way. I like the real you much better than my fantasy. In fact, I’m still getting to know the real you, and I want to keep doing that for the rest of my life. I love you, Gabriel.”
I wrapped my other hand around our joined hands.
“I’ve only started to get to know the real Marcello. But something tells me he can be devilish and loving all at the same time.
I fell in love with Marcello, the devil, and freely gave him my eternal soul. I’ve only just started to get to know Marcello, the filmmaker, and I love him even more. I’d like to spend the rest of my life getting to know the real you—part devil, part filmmaker, and the best part is lover. I love you, Marcello.”
Before I’d finished talking, Marcello was wrapping his arms around me. By the time I’d finished, my lips were on his. We were getting a bit carried away making out on the quad, before some guy finally shouted, “Get a room!”
We stood up and Marcello took me by the hand.
“How about my room?” he asked.
Epilogue
“FORGIVE ME Father for I have sinned—”
Father Christopher started laughing on the other side of the screen.
“No you haven’t, Gabriel. You couldn’t sin if you tried.”
“Yes, I have. Sex outside of marriage is a mortal sin, and it’s even worse when it’s with a man.”
“Are you and Marcello planning on getting married?”
Father had gotten me off track.
“We haven’t talked about it yet, but I hope so.”
Father laughed again. “Well, I hope so too. When you do, come and see me and I’ll bless your marriage for you.”
“Are you allowed to do that?”
“I’ve blessed turkeys just before they get slaughtered for a feast. I don’t see any reason why I can’t bless the union of two loving souls.”
“But the Church says—”
“The Church says a lot of things. I say that God gave you a brain to think for yourself, and he gave you a heart to tell you what feels right and what feels wrong. Does loving Marcello feel wrong to you?”
My mind flashed to his devilish grin, but I had to admit, “It doesn’t feel wrong to me.”
“Then enough about you sinning. This church seats five hundred souls and nearly fills up for two of the four masses on Sunday. Now, how many souls did you see waiting out there for confession?”
“I don’t know, maybe fifteen?”
“The rules haven’t changed, Gabriel. Confession is a requirement for taking communion. Yet, almost everyone takes communion no matter how long it’s been since their last confession. They seem to think that they’re covered under the Penitential Rite.”
Just before communion the priest always gives the Penitential Rite, absolving the congregation of their venial sins.
“But my sins aren’t some venial sins. These are serious mortal sins.”
“So what’s your plan, Gabriel? Are you going to keep on committing mortal sins while loving your future husband and just keep coming to see me every Saturday to confess and seek absolution?”
“That seemed like the right thing to do.”
“Gabriel, I can’t forgive your sins until you forgive yourself. Are you ready to forgive yourself for falling in love? Are you ready to commit your soul to Marcello?”
“I’ve already committed my eternal soul to Marcello.” I may have thought he was the devil at the time, but nothing has changed my feelings.
“So do you think you deserve forgiveness for that, or do you think you deserve blessings?”
“Having Marcello in my life is a blessing.”
“Then, bless you, my child.”
“But—”
“Would you tell Marcello that I’ve read the book he gave me?” Marcello gave me the same book for Christmas—the one that believes in reincarnation and that there is no such thing as hell. I’d read it too.
“It’s a good book, isn’t it?” I asked Father.
“It’s more hopeful than what we preach. I’d like to believe it myself. I think that you need to keep following you heart; it’s led you to happiness. In fact, your penance is to keep on loving Marcello with all your heart. He’s a good man, and he deserves your love. Keep exploring your faith, whatever it turns out to be, and follow your heart. You have the heart of an angel. I know that your heart won’t let you go wrong. And come and see me whenever you like, but please make an appointment to meet me in my office. I like talking with you, Gabriel. I’ll be happy to absolve you of any sins that you think you might have committed.” Then he changed the subject. “Tomorrow night is New Year’s Eve. I hope you and Marcello have some fun plans to ring in the New Year.”
I couldn’t tell Father Christopher the truth. There goes another venial sin. We were planning on going to the Exit bar. Only it turns out that the Exit bar is really the Iron Spike. Marcello just snuck us in the exit door on Halloween so we wouldn’t have to wait in line and I wouldn’t figure out where he was taking me. That seemed like more venial sins that I forgot.
“Yes, Father. We have some fun plans for tomorrow night, but we’ll be in church tomorrow morning.”
“I’ll look forward to seeing you both. Bless you, my child.”
Afterword
CAL STATE Glendale is a fictitious college built in the early 1960s. It is located in the real city of Glendale, California. Other fictitious locations include the “Exit Bar,” a location that I owe to a friend who accidentally kept entering a bar from the back door and mistaking the name. In this fictitious world, the make-believe bar is actually called the Iron Spike, and every innuendo is intentional. While Glendale does have a Saint Francis Catholic School, it does not have an actual church by the same name.
Although purely a fictional character, Father Bramble is based upon more than a few prickly old priests from my childhood. I’m pleased to say that there are some modern-day priests who agree with the majority of American Catholics who are accepting of equal marriage. Perhaps someday my Father Christopher will not seem quite as fictitious as he might have in 2017, when the events of this story take place.
Be sure to check out the movies where Marcello got his costume inspirations. Good and evil work together in each film to prove that both are necessary to learning the lessons that life has to offer.
Marcello has good reason to question the teachings of the Church. The book that he refers to is a real book from my personal collection: Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Lives Between Lives, by Michael Newton, Ph.D. and it provides an excellent foundation for understanding Marcello and his desire to find a faith that can truly comfort him after his loss. I wish I could remember the title of the other book I read regarding angels. The book empowered God by pointing out that Satan works for God out of love. That concept, along with Newton’s lack of a hell, provides a much more loving and hopeful afterlife than any religious study that I have found before.
As for the concept of evil leading to good—well, I’ve never read anything that supports the theory, but it just felt like the logical extension for a loving God’s overarching plan. Adversity is a necessary ingredient for innovation. Islanders in Hawaii have no reason to invent air-conditioning or central heating systems. Food is bountiful from both the land and the sea. There is a reason why Hawaii is considered to be paradise. But Easterners needed heat to survive frigid winters and Southerners needed central air to cool and dry the oppressive heat and humidity. It stands to reason that God gave us adversity and evils of all sorts to challenge us to become better people and help others in need.
I hope that you’ve found not only a bit of naughty erotic entertainment in these pages, but that I’ve also helped to open your mind to new ideas in theology. Follow your heart and do what you know to be right. So long as no one else is harmed in the process you’re probably on the right path.
More from Robert P. Rowe
Sometimes love can come out of left field.
Tony was waiting until he went away to college to come out to his parents and start his new gay life. Unfortunately, at twenty-four, it doesn’t look like college is going to happen after all. Stuck in a dead-end job in a small town and still living at home, with all the arrested development that entails, he finds escape in playing for the company baseball team and lusting after his straight outfielder crush, Alex. But Tony’s best friend, Jennifer, thinks she’s found a plan in
the pages of gay romance novels. All Tony has to do is convince Alex he’s gay for you… or for Tony. It’s easy—just find some excuse to be alone in bed together and let nature take its course. What could possibly go wrong?
You can’t get to first base if you don’t take a chance and step up to the plate.
Offering a would-be thief a second chance is risky—especially when he could steal your heart.
Carlos had it all: a good-paying construction job, a truck, a rental house and his girl. Then he lost his job and everything else along with it. Desperate, he turns to crime—only to fail in his first attempt when he accidentally climbs into the wrong window. Carlos has to rethink his life when his victim becomes his only friend.
Michael has lost too many times in love. Prince Charming won’t be knocking at his door, with its do-not-disturb sign permanently in place, when fate finds Carlos climbing into his window. Michael’s compassion for this down-and-out lost soul turns to friendship. But Michael can’t allow things to go any further and still feel safe from heartbreak.
There are no accidents, and the second-story man discovers that in life and love there can be a second story.
ROBERT P. ROWE has spent his entire career as a storyteller making an incredible leap from Disneyland ride operator to show-designer and art director at Walt Disney Imagineering. Immersive storytelling presents a distinctive challenge unlike that of live theater, film, radio, or print media. He is currently on staff as an art director for Universal Orlando. His many other works can be found around the world, primarily in Disney and Universal Studios parks.
His “real” job takes up much of his time, but his active imagination can’t stop dreaming up new stories. Whenever time permits, he’s writing about new characters off on their own incredible journeys.
Gabriel and the Devil Page 11
