Room to Breathe

by Nicole Brightman

  She seems tall even sitting and very thin dressed in a solid navy blue pencil skirt and a green silk blouse. Her rich brown hair is pulled back into a knot at the nape of her neck. She has full pink lips and perfect high cheek bones. She is eyeing me over her tea cup with large bright blue eyes. I shiver as her stare penetrates me. I have yet to speak to her but I already know she is not someone I want to make angry.

  Claire jumps up from her seat and rushes over to take my hand.

  “Cora! I am glad you’re here! Sit right here,” she gushes pointing to a chair next to Miranda. “How do you like your tea?”

  “Um, just a splash of milk. Thank you,” I smile as I take the cup and saucer from her. I firm believer in giving everyone a chance, even if they scare the hell out of me, so I might as well say something first. “You must be Lucinda. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

  “Is it?” She says raising her perfectly shaped brows. Okay, so clearly we aren’t going to be best friends.

  “Thank you again for your help Miranda. I really love everything,” I turn to Miranda next to me trying to gloss over the awkwardness.

  “Good. You are a lot of fun,” she smiles back at me. “I hope we will get to see more of each other.”

  “Claire did you get a dress too?” I ask remembering she was carrying a black bag earlier.

  “Yes! I love it! I am so excited for the gala. I have four possible benefactors coming. It is going to be such fun! Like shopping for man,” she giggles at herself. She is so energetic that her red curls bounce as she talks. “Do you have anyone coming or is it still too soon?”

  “No, I don’t have anyone coming. I am not sure how long Eric wants me to wait,” I reply honestly. My stomach grumbles and I realize I haven’t had a chance to eat anything in too long. I take a small plate and reach for a cucumber sandwich.

  “Oh! You have to try these little cakes,” Claire eagerly points to the petit fours. “They are so good.”

  I take one of the bite-size cakes as well before sitting back in my chair. I devour the sandwich quickly. Just as I am about to take a bite of the petit fours I hear Lucinda chuckle. I put in back on my plate and look over to her. She is looking at me with a smirk. I look back at her and raise my eyebrows at her in silent question.

  “Are you sure you should really be eating that?” Lucinda asked raising her eyebrows.

  “What do you mean?” I ask returning her look.

  “Just that, if I was your size I wouldn’t be eating like that,” she says sipping her tea.

  “What do you mean ‘my size’?”

  “Your size. Fat.”

  “I am not fat.”

  “Well, maybe not for an American, but in the rest of the world you are fairly rotund. I mean honestly have you not seen your thighs or backside in the mirror before? You are one sweet away from poor Miranda having to sew two dresses together to fit you.” She sits back with a satisfied look on her face. I have met girls like her before. Women that like to tear those around them down so they can be the queen bee. I have never put up with it before and today is certainly not going to be the first time I do.

  “Wow, you’re really a bitch aren’t you? I am sorry if you seem to think I am fat. I am far from it. Maybe if you tried eating something yourself you wouldn’t be such a horrid person and people might want you around,” I say in a sweet voice.

  “Well, I guess you have all the answers don’t you? Maybe you really don’t know how massive you are. I mean if you did you would have to be mad to wear those leggings.”

  “I guess it doesn’t matter if I am really fat or you just think I am. I like the way I look. Eric seems to really like the way I am built. He clearly finds me attractive the way I am right now in these leggings.”

  “You are so pathetic. You think you are any different? You think he cares for you any more than he has all the girls that have come before you. You are just a sad, delusional little girl. He is using you. You are just his newest toy and when he gets bored of you he will pass you off to the highest bidder.”

  I can feel my eyes prick with the tears starting to build. Damn it! I don’t care what I have to do I am not going to cry in front of her. I ball my fists at my side. I am deciding whether to punch her or run away when a booming voice comes from the doorway behind me.

  “Lucinda that is more than enough!” I whirl around to see Eric walking towards me. His eyes are narrowed and he is clearly furious.

  “How dare you speak to Cora or anyone under my roof that way?” He is now standing next to my chair. I stand and place my hand on his chest. I can’t tell him how much I appreciate that he would come to my defense.

  “Eric,” I say softly as he looks down at me, “thank you, but I’ve got this. Lucinda, you can say whatever you like.”

  “The hell she can,” Eric roars his eyes are like daggers at Lucinda. “I have warned you before Lucinda. Did you not think I was serious?” She hasn’t moved at all since he entered the room. Her face is blank and emotionless.

  “No, really it doesn’t matter what she says,” I say softly to Eric. “Lucinda, you are the one that is pathetic. You sit there like you are so much better than the rest of us. You are really just jealous. You are the one that has been tossed away; twice, I believe. And you will continue to be tossed aside when people get bored because there is no substance to you. You are just show. You look perfect on the outside but your inside is rotten and you know it. I feel sorry for you, really I do, but make no mistake; if you ever speak to me like that again I will punch you right in your fucking face.”

  With that I turn on my heel and head to the door. I pause before steeping out of the room. I forgot to say one thing. “Oh and by the way I am not fat. They are called curves. I love them and I wouldn’t change them for anyone.”

  “I really like her!” I hear Claire say as I head to the stairs.

  I take them two at a time. I desperately want to get my room before I lose it. I feel my eyes filling and vision is getting blurred. Mercifully, I make it to my room and close the door behind me before I break down.

  I hate that I cry when I get angry. It makes me look weak. I go into the bathroom and blot my eyes. It only takes a minute for me to calm down. There is a soft knock on the door to my room and then it opens. It’s Eric and he is carrying a silver serving tray.

  “Um, don’t you have people to do that,” I say walking over to him. He places the try on the little table by the window.

  “You have been crying. Honey, I am so sorry about Lucinda. I knew she was going to be a little rough but I never expected her to attack you like that.”

  “I cry when I get really angry. I am fine now, honest. Don’t worry about her. She isn’t the first bitch I have come across and she won’t be the last. Eric, you don’t think I am fat do you?” I hate to admit it but her saying I am fat stung. I have never been really thin but I am comfortable with how I look. I have always focused more on being healthy than just thin.

  “You are joking right? Honey, I thought I made it pretty clear in the last few days how I feel about your wonderful body. I thoroughly enjoy every inch of it. If I thought you were fat would have brought you this as well?” he asks gesturing to the silver tray. It has some more of the cucumber sandwiches, a few scones, and some of the petit fours.

  “No, I guess not. Thank you for this I am starved.” I smile at him as I grab another sandwich.

  “Good eat up. I don’t want you complaining that you are out of energy,” he smiles and gently smacks my ass.

  “Oh really? Why did you want to go for a jog or something?” I ask coyly pushing a petit four in my mouth. Oh my goodness! Claire was right these are amazing.

  “Well we could do that or maybe you could tell me about being half naked with Miranda again.” He says sitting the wingback chair next to the table. I step towards him and stand between his legs. He reaches and places both hands on my hips.

  “You are still stuck on that huh? I already told she was fully dressed.”
>
  “Well a man can dream right? Besides I think you are enough for me to handle,” he smirks his playful smirk at me.

  God, I have really fallen in love with him. For a moment I consider grabbing my things and running from the house in favor of self-preservation. I look down into his warm brown eyes and know that I am not going anywhere unless he makes me.

  I lean down and kiss his soft lips. I breathe him in and he wraps his arms around me pulling me into his lap. We continue where we left off downstairs. I am in his lap kissing his lips, his jaw, his neck, and down to his collar bone.

  He pulls me tight against him so my head is resting on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me tightly. I exhale deeply and snuggle into him.

  “I just want to be still with you for a moment. My life doesn’t have enough moments of just stillness and with you here like this it seems like the perfect time for it,” Eric murmurs softly with his mouth on my hair.

  “There isn’t any place I would rather be right now,” I say and mean it. Being in his arms like this is perfect.

  We sit like this for a while. Silent and still. We just breathe against each other enjoying our separate rhythms.

  “You never really talk about your family in America. Are you close to them at all?” he asks breaking the silence.

  “Kinda, I guess,” his question surprises me. Maybe he is still feeling bad about Maggie. “My mom and I were really close but it is hard sometimes. We are really different. I have one brother that is only a two years older than me so we were pretty close as kids. My younger sister is a fire cracker but she is as loyal as they come. We talk the most. My oldest brother is quite a bit older than me so we don’t have much in common.” As soon as those words leave my mouth I wish I could pull them back. My oldest brother is two years younger than Eric.

  “Oh really,” he says I can hear the curiosity in voice. I leave my head on his shoulder to avoid his eyes as I try to dig myself out of this.

  “Well yes, but he is one of those people that he has been old his whole life. I think that even if had been younger than me I would think of him as my older brother,” I stumble out. Nice one Cora, point out why you shouldn’t work as a couple to the man you want to be a couple with. “Are and your sister close?”

  “Yes we are,” he says with a slight chuckle. He clearly caught on to my mistake and finds it funny. “My mother had a hard time with things after my dad passed. She didn’t really know how to take care of anything. I sort of stepped in, as it were, and took care of everything concerning my sister. I still do a little too much I am afraid. She has been sort of flighty lately.”

  “I am sure it isn’t your fault,” I reassure him. “I think I could fall asleep like this.”

  “I am sure you could,” he says hugging me tighter. “I have never seen anyone fall asleep so fast before.”

  “Hey, that isn’t normal for me. You wore me out and then some.”

  He kisses my head and then pulls back slightly. He looks deep into my eyes with a softness that I don’t usually see there. It is almost like he has something to say but doesn’t. Instead he kisses each one of my cheeks softly.

  “I am going to go get ready for dinner since thanks to you I need a shower.”

  “Hey don’t blame me for that. You were the one that had to be all nice to me and so good looking. You know you could always shower in here.” I am not sure I could even handle Eric in that shower but I would love to try.

  “No I can’t. Something tells me if I get into that shower with you I won’t make it down stairs until tomorrow.” He gently lifts me off his lap and stands up.

  “Yeah, you kinda have a point there.”

  “You should wear the black dress Miranda helped you pick out. Everything should already be in the closet.”

  “Okay I will.” He kisses my sweetly on the forehead before heading out of the room.

  Chapter 16

  I go into the gigantic closet again to see that indeed all my clothing from earlier today has been put away. I could really get used to having so much done for me. I thumb through the clothing hanging up until I find the dress Eric mentioned. I go to the shoe rack to grab the simple black pumps that Miranda had suggested to go with it. There are all the boxes of shoes I expected as well as one extra right in the middle that I don’t remember. I take the dress and extra shoe box to the bed and lay them down. The box is for a pair of Louboutins and I am sure I didn’t get any today. That is the kind of thing I would remember.

  I open the box and gasp. Inside is a beautiful pair of red patent leather stilettos with little spikes on them. They look like sex in a box and maybe the hottest thing I have ever seen. There is also a little note.

  It is from Miranda and says:

  I saw these and just knew you had to have them. Good luck and I hope these help! Your new friend, Miranda

  I select a sheer black bra and cheeky panty set that is trimmed in lace. If this doesn’t get a reaction from him nothing will. I take a quick shower and fix my hair in loose waves. I add a little bit more makeup than I normally wear. The shoes fit perfectly. A quick look in the mirror lets me know I have achieved what I set out for. I am just debating whether or not to go down when there is a knock on my door. I am surprised to see Claire and Brad standing there.

  “Wow, Cora those shoes are amazing!” Claire exclaims at once.

  “Thank you. They are pretty great, huh?”

  “We are just headed down stairs are you ready?” Brad asks with his toothpaste commercial worthy smile.

  “Yep, let’s go.” I close the door behind me. Walking in heels this high and narrow down stairs should be an Olympic sport. Thankfully I make it to the bottom without falling.

  We start to walk towards the parlor just as we see Eric coming out with Lucinda and Dean. Lucinda gives me an icy stare and Dean isn’t much warmer. His piercing blue eyes seem focused on Claire.

  Eric, however, has just the reaction I was hoping for. He stops in his tracks and looks me over a few times. I can feel the heat of his eyes roaming my body taking in the red shoes and form fitting dress. His eyes reach mine and then smiles at me. “Nice shoes,” he comments as he places his hand on my back steering me to the dining room.

  “Thank you. I told you Miranda was good at her job,” I answer softly.

  “I really am going to have to give her a raise,” he says with his eyes twinkling.

  Dinner passes with peacefully with shared stories of growing up from everyone except Lucinda. I try a few times to talk to Dean. All I am able to get out of him is that he is from Georgia and that he has never been to Oregon. He did seem a little interested when I mentioned that my brother just took over a cattle ranch in Montana that had been owned by my grandfather. Apparently, he had been to Montana once and liked it a lot but I lost him after that. I am not sure why he seems to have decided he doesn’t like me.

  Brad doesn’t mention his family more than to tell stories of growing up in London but with a summer house in the country. I get the feeling that his family had money but lost it.

  Claire is from Surrey and is an orphan. She was raised by her grandmother who died a few years ago.

  “When my nan died I didn’t really know what I was going to do. I sort of fell into some bad habits. Then a friend of mine introduced me to Eric,” Claire says smiling down the table at Eric.

  “How long ago was that?” I ask slightly uncomfortable with their closeness.

  “Just over two years now. I am really lucky. I am not sure where I would be now if Eric hadn’t helped me,” she answers with obvious gratitude in her voice. Eric is in a deep conversation with Dean and seems unaware he is the topic of conversation.

  “Eric said you had just finished your schooling. What is it you want to do?” I ask.

  “I want to be a lingerie designer,” she says smiling. Her positive attitude is so contagious. “I love that something so small can make such a big difference. Plus, it is just pretty.”

  “You have a point
,” I say smiling back at her. “I love pretty things but I couldn’t ever design my own.”

  Lucinda doesn’t say a word. Not a single word about anything or anyone. She makes slight eyes at me when I take a small piece of cake but catches herself quickly. She doesn’t look at me for the rest of the meal.

  After dinner every one else goes into the parlor for after dinner drinks. I had enough wine with dinner and really don’t want to sit through more small talk. I excuse myself and head up stairs.

  Once I am in my room I slip out of my dress leaving on my new heels. Within a moment there is soft knock on the door and it immediately opens. Eric walks in and closes the door behind him. Then he stops looking me over again.

  “Dear, God,” he sighs.

  “What? Can I help you with something?” I say as I turn my back on him walk away from him and towards the bed. I know these cheeky panties will drive him crazy.

  “Honey, I can think of about ten things you can help me with.” He says as he reaches me just as I reach the bed. He pulls my back against his body by my hips. I can feel his hardness through his slacks.

  “Well I think I can feel at least one thing I would like to help you with.” I giggle as he spins me around to face him. He kisses me roughly and crushes me to him. I meet his kiss with equal furor.

  He grabs my hips and places me up on the bed. I move to take my shoes off.

  “No leave them on,” he says pulling my panties off and tossing them aside.

  “I am glad you like them. I have been hoping for this reaction since I put them on.” I rake my gaze over him as he makes quick work of his clothes.

  “Honey, trust me when I tell you that if I am not fucking you, I am thinking about fucking you. I have wanted to be inside you every minute of every day since the first night I met you. I just feel like I can’t get enough of you.”

  I pull him to me and kiss him like it is our last kiss ever. I hope he means what he says because I don’t think I can ever get enough of him either. I love the way my skin feels against his body. When he releases me I slide further up onto the bed. I roll over and pretend I am going to crawl away from him on all fours.