Room to Breathe

by Nicole Brightman

  “I am sure it will be still be fun. You don’t have to worry about me and rural. I can rough it if I have to. We used to go camping when I was a kid.”

  “Well that is good to know,” he says reaching over to take my hand in my lap. “I hope this won’t be the only trip we take together.”

  “Well Mr. MacGuire, we will just have to see how this one goes,” I smile at him. Suddenly I notice the song playing on the satellite radio. It is an acoustic piano cover of Teenage Dream. I feel like the earth just tilted under me. My eyes start to fill with tears. I fight them back as I start to softly sing along with the lyrics. For a moment I contemplate jumping from the car and running to Eric. I wonder if the things that make me think of him would make him think of me.

  Let’s run away and don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back, the guy doing the cover sings. God, I miss Eric so much.

  “I am sorry but I hate this song,” Harrison says changing the channel. “I am sorry if you like that kind of music but I can’t handle it. I don’t want you listening to any of that pop shit when I am around.”

  “Oh, okay. I am sorry.” I am afraid to say more for fear the sob in my throat will escape. What the fuck am I doing?

  “Don’t be sorry. We all have secret guilty pleasures. While we are the topic I have no tolerance any celebrity following or reality shows either. I just see all of that as low class.”

  “Gotcha. What kind of music do you like?” I am trying to change the subject.

  “I don’t really like a lot to be honest. When I do listen to music it is mostly classical,” he adds, bringing the car to a stop in front of a trendy restaurant.

  We go in and are seated right away at a booth in the corner. The room is a little too dark for a restaurant. I feel very out of place. Everyone in the room is dressed like they just walked off a Vogue fashion shoot. I open the menu and try to find something I can handle eating. After the past few hours my stomach is in such knots I can’t imagine trying to eat anything heavier than a salad.

  I decide on a spinach salad just before our server walks up. She angles her body so that her back is to me and she is facing Harrison. He orders a bottle of wine for us. Before I can tell Miss Personality what I would like, Harrison orders two rare steaks for us. So much for wanting something light.

  He starts talking about Japan and what we will be doing while we are there. I will be working as his assistant as well as accompanying him to events. He says something about the village, Kamoshi, and where we are staying while there. He starts explaining all that he expects me to do. I know I should be listening but I can’t focus on what he is saying. I keep replaying everything Eric said this afternoon. The desperate look he had in his eyes.

  “So, what do you think?” Harrison asks, cutting into his steak.

  “Oh that all sounds great,” I half smile back. I hope that was the right answer.

  “Good. It is only two days and you will have one of my co-workers with you. I will meet you both on the twelfth. I really do want you to enjoy yourself.”

  “I am sure I will.” Oh great. So I just agreed to go to somewhere in Japan without him for two days.

  We finish our meal with him doing most of the talking. The car ride back to the Cooper’s home is pretty much the same. He is going on about everything and anything having to do with Japan. When we pull up to the front entrance I am happy.

  “I am so sorry. I know I have been talking too much. I am just really excited that you will be coming with me.”

  “Oh it is fine, really. I’m glad.”

  “Cora, I don’t think it will surprise you to know that I have been interested in you from the first night we met. I mean that in every sense,” he says, kissing the back of my hand.

  “I kind of noticed.” I smile awkwardly.

  “Good,” he remarks, leaning forward pulling me into a light kiss. He releases me and smiles. He gets out of the car and comes around to open my door. He helps me out and walks me right to the door.

  “Thank you for everything,” I say with a smile. I try to get inside before he can kiss me again. It is way too soon for me to be kissing anyone.

  “Of course. I hope to be able to do more for you. Cora, please tell me you won’t change your mind,” he grabs my arm before I can reach the handle.

  “I won’t change my mind. I will see you at the airport on the tenth. I promise,” I add, leaning into him. I lightly kiss his cheek. He pulls me into a full kiss. I step back and smile at him. I enter the house and close the door behind me without another word.

  This has to be the strangest day of my life. I need to go to bed. It looks like the house is deserted. I have no idea where Tristan and Jane are but they seem to be gone more than they are here. I walk towards the stairs intent on taking a long hot bath.

  “Cora?” I hear come from down the hall. I turn to face Jane.

  “Hi Jane. I am just headed upstairs. I am kind of worn out.”

  “I understand. Tristan and I were just wondering what you decided about Japan.”

  “I am leaving on the tenth.” I say in a matter of fact tone.

  “Oh, so you are going?” she asks, clearly disappointed. “What about Eric?”

  “What about him? He went a month without talking to me so I think he can understand why I am going to do the same. I need some space and time. I think at very least it will be good for me to live a life completely separate from him. That way I can see how I feel when I get back,” I shrug and hope she will let it go.

  “What does Harrison say?” Jane presses.

  “Harrison didn’t really seem fazed about Eric. He only seemed to care that I want to go with him to Japan. Now, I am going up stairs to take a long and very hot bath.”

  “Did you tell him that Eric is in love with you and you are in love with Eric? Because I know Harrison pretty well and I don’t see him getting involved with a woman that is in love with someone else.” Jane narrows her eyes at me.

  “Jane,” Tristan’s voice is firm from the doorway behind Jane. “I think that is enough.”

  “Tristan, you know I am right,” she says, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

  “That isn’t the point. You and I have meddled enough in this whole affair. Now don’t pout. It just makes me want to spank you all night and I still have work to do,” he says, pulling Jane to him and running his thumb across her bottom lip. I often feel like they forget I am in the room.

  “Cora, I take it you are completely set on going with Harrison?” Tristan asks me without taking his eyes from Jane.

  “Yes,” I answer simply.

  “Then nothing Jane or I say is going to change your mind. We will leave you to your bath. Unless you would like us to join you,” Tristan says with a wink.

  “I am not really in the mood so I am going to pass but thank you for the offer,” I respond, smiling back.

  “Can you answer one question for me first?” Tristan inquires, wrapping his arms around his beautiful wife. “You do love Eric don’t you?”

  “Yes, I do love him but no matter what anyone wants to tell me, I don’t believe that he really loves me. You don’t let someone you love walk away.”

  “Fair enough. Good night,” he says, pulling Jane back through the doorway.

  As I finally make my way up stairs I take my cell out of my handbag. At the top of the steps I pause to send a message to Harrison.

  I can’t wait be with you in Japan.

  It only takes a second for his reply-

  Good. I would like to be with you right now. Promise me again you won’t change your mind.

  I am confused about how I feel about pretty much everything that has happened today but I am positive I won’t change my mind about going. I need to get away from England entirely. Too much has happened in the past few months and I need to sort it all out.

  I promise. xoxo

  Chapter 27

  It is later than Eric normally starts his day. He really thought he would hear from Cora
before she left for Japan. He was hurt that she didn’t even say goodbye. So, he did what any man in his position would do and got black out drunk.

  He has just sat down to eat some much needed food and black coffee when Dean comes in carrying his iPad. He looks pale and worried. His usually perfect light brown hair is disheveled.

  “Have you seen the news this morning?” Dean asks.

  “No. I am afraid I haven’t done anything except shower and dress so far. It was a rough night. Why? Is something wrong?” Eric inquires starting to get a little worried himself.

  “Well, I don’t know for sure. Do you know what part Japan Cora was going to?”

  “Cora? What does that have to do with the news? Did something happen in Japan?”

  “Well, yes. There was a large earthquake off the coast. It created a huge tsunami. Large portions of the country were washed away,” Dean explains.

  “What do you mean ‘washed away’?”

  “They are just gone. Here, see for yourself,” Dean says handing Eric the tablet. Scanning the news article Eric feels his stomach drop. Suddenly he thinks he may be sick and it has nothing to do with last night’s drinking binge.

  The top news article is about the tsunami and the devastation it caused. There is a before and after picture of one village where it does look like it has just been washed away. Eric quickly grabs his phone to check his messages. Nothing new from anyone. He then scans through his old messages from Jane until he finds the one about Cora leaving. He looks up the name of the village she would have been in. Horrified, he sees that Kamoshi is right in the middle of the worst of the destruction.

  “Oh dear God no,” he pleads, dialing her number. It goes straight to voice mail. He calls Tristan and it rings several times but still no answer.

  “I just tried calling Harrison,” Dean says, tapping at the screen of his phone. “There hasn’t been any answer. It goes straight to voice mail.”

  “Keep trying,” Eric demands, not looking up from his phone. He just tried calling Jane and again was unable to reach anyone.

  “I will but they may all be on the phone trying to get information too,” Dean says, calling Harrison again.

  “You are right,” Eric admits, getting up from the table. “I am going over there now.”

  “Of course, I will have the car brought around,” Dean says in a sympathetic tone. “Eric, we will find her I swear.”

  “Thank you,” Eric says from the door. “Can you have someone pack a bag for me with my passport? I am going to use Tristan’s plane to get to Japan.”

  “I will do it myself,” Dean replies. “Let us know when you have news.”

  Eric nods and races out of his London home to his waiting car. Never before has he been so grateful that this car is little and fast. He makes it to Tristan and Jane’s in record time. When he gets out of the car he notices the cold for the first time. He didn’t even think of grabbing a coat. The cold doesn’t matter to him. Nothing matters to him except finding Cora.

  He feels responsible. He never should have let her come to London in the first place. When he finds her, and he is not going to stop until he does, he will damn sure he never loses her again; no matter what it takes.

  He punches in the code for the door and lets himself in. The house is quiet and large. Eric calls out Tristan’s name as he hears voices coming from one end.

  “Eric?” Tristan asks, sounding surprised to see his friend in his current state. “What are you doing here?”

  “We have to find her,” Eric responds, feeling a bit crazed. He walks towards the room Tristan just came out of. It is the same room he was in the last time he saw Cora.

  “Find who?” Jane asks coming up behind Tristan.

  “Cora, of course. Have you gotten any word from her or Harrison?” he asks, standing in front of the couple. “I am going to Japan either way. Cora is tough. I know she is alive but she is alone. She doesn’t speak Japanese and she can’t have very much money. I need to find her and bring her home. I can’t lose her again. I just can’t. I am going to find her.”

  “Eric, calm down. Come sit down and let’s talk,” Jane pleads sweetly, taking his arm.

  “No,” Eric says, yanking out of her grasp. “Don’t you see this is all my fault? I need to find her and make sure she is okay. She was mine to protect. Mine to look after and I fucked it up. If anything has happened to her I will never forgive myself. I can’t do this again. I will not live through losing her for good. I just can’t.” Eric’s voice cracks slightly at the end.

  “Please, just come inside,” Jane again takes his arm. This time Tristan steps out of the way and opens the door behind him wider.

  “Oh thank God!” Eric exclaims as tears leak from his eyes. He doesn’t care who sees this much emotion from him. For the first time since learning about the tsunami, he is able to breathe. There, sitting on the edge of a high backed chair with tear-streaked cheeks, is Cora Allen.

  *********

  I see a tear run down Eric’s cheek. He looks awful. His eyes are blood shot and his dark hair is a mess. He has a few days stubble on his jaw. Even still he is the most stunning sight I have ever seen.

  He crosses the room in just a few strides. He easily lifts me from my chair and crushes me to his chest.

  “Oh thank god, thank god,” he says over and over again into my hair. It feels wonderful to be back in his arms. I rest my head on against him. I take a moment to enjoy the safety of his arms.

  He sets me back on my feet and holds my face in his hands. I have never my in life had anyone look at me the way he is looking at me. Like I am so precious. Like he would charter a plane just to find me. Isn’t that what he just said he was going to do? This beautiful man was going to rush into a major disaster to find me.

  And the last time I saw him I told him to leave. I told him he didn’t love me. And worst of all, I didn’t tell him how much I love him.

  “Why didn’t you go to Japan? Not that I care, as long as you are here it doesn’t matter, but I am curious. Last time I talked to Tristan was the night before you were leaving. Did you change your mind last minute?” Eric asks, still holding me.

  “No, I didn’t change my mind. You should sit down, this is might be kind of a shock,” I point over to the small couch across from where Tristan and Jane have sat down. He sits but pulls me to his side.

  He hasn’t taken his hands off me since he picked me up. I want to tell him that I am not going anywhere, ever, but that will need to wait. He needs to hear this and it should be from me.

  “I was going to Japan with Harrison, who is alright by the way. He was in Tokyo at the time of the quake and tsunami,” I start.

  “Well that is good. I wouldn’t wish him harm, well much harm anyways,” Eric confesses, taking both of my hands in his.

  “Anyways, I was going. My bags were packed and by the door. Then Lucinda showed up here about an hour before the car was to pick me up. I was surprised to see her but she said she really wanted to talk to me before I left. She said she felt bad about how we had left things. She had had a rough few weeks before I showed up and she took it out on me. She said she was sorry and hoped that one day we could be friends.”

  “I have known her for a long time and never once has she said she was sorry for anything. Either she has changed a lot or she was playing you,” Eric adds, running his fingers along my cheek.

  “That is what I said,” Tristan chimed in.

  “Let her finish,” Jane comments, placing her hand on Tristan’s leg.

  “We talked for just a few minutes about where I was going and everything. Then I told her that she better be leaving because the car would be here soon and Tristan and Jane were still in bed. She said that she would go but first she needed to get something out of the wine cellar that Tristan had let her keep here,” I try to explain.

  “That is odd,” Eric said, scowling. “Since when would you let Lucinda keep anything here?”

  “I wouldn’t mate,” Trista
n shakes his head slightly.

  “Well I thought it was odd too. Honestly I thought she was going to just lift a bottle of wine. So I went with her so I could tell Tristan what it was that she took. She asked me to reach a box for her. While I was leaning over a few wine cases she ran out of the room and locked me in the wine cellar. I hadn’t even noticed that she had taken the key off the hook inside. She told me I stole this opportunity from her and she was taking it back,” I continue dreading what else I have to tell him.

  “That sounds like Lucinda but what did she mean she was taking it back?” Eric asks.

  “Well she took my phone from my handbag and sent Harrison a message telling him that I had changed my mind and that I was sending her in my place. Since it was a private plane it really wasn’t that hard to get everything changed over,” I pause to take a deep breath. I really don’t want to see him sad again. “Harrison went for it. He thought I was going to change my mind because of you so it wasn’t unexpected. So, it was Lucinda that went to Japan and Lucinda who was in the village that was destroyed.”

  “Lucinda? Oh Hannah is going be devastated. Does she know?” Eric inquires, crinkling his brow.

  “Yes, Harrison said he would get ahold of her. I gave him her contact information,” Tristan answers.

  “Thank you for that,” Eric says to his friend. “I always knew Lucinda’s karma would come back to her, but I never thought at the cost of her life. I feel awful for her and her family but I can’t stop being grateful that she stopped you from going.”

  “I feel the same way. Well really I felt the same way after I got out of the cellar and called Harrison,” I admit to Eric.

  “And that would be our queue. Come on darling,” Tristan quips, standing and pulling Jane up with him. “Let’s go upstairs so I can show you how grateful I am you are safe with me.”

  “You can be so persuasive,” Jane adds, kissing Tristan’s cheek. They leave hand in hand. I have never met two people that have their hands on each other more than those two.

  “What happened when you called Harrison?” Eric asks me once the door is closed.

  “I called him to tell him what really happened. He was really angry and refused to believe me. He said that he knew I was going to screw him over. He said he couldn’t believe he had trusted someone like me in the first place.”