“Unimaginably so. My dad left when I was still in diapers, so it was just the two of us, my mom and me, for the first ten years of my life. When she met Harrison, life changed, in a good way. I loved him. Still love him, as a father. He didn’t treat me any different than his biological children when they were born. When my mom died, we all lost both of our parents. Harrison went out to work and paid the bills, but he was gone, distant. As if he couldn’t allow himself to feel, because if he did, it would all be too much.”
“I wish I could change that for you,” Michael said quietly. “If I could, I’d wipe all the pain out of your life.”
“That’s not possible, and if it were, it would almost certainly be unhealthy. Pain makes us who we are, it shapes us. If my mom hadn’t died, I would never have trained to be a teacher. And I love my job.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “What about you? Tell me about your woodland.”
“Approximately 300 acres of mixed woodland, trees that have stood and watched the world change over centuries. A developer wanted to carve a town out of it. The people of Bear Creek hated the idea. When you have a secret, you want to keep it hidden. One new town leads to another and before long you live in one town joined to another. Bear Creek would have lost its uniqueness. I’m not saying all progress is bad, but sometimes you have to protect the things you hold dear.”
Michael looked at her, and Ruth understood that protection encompassed her. To Michael, she was the thing he held most dear now. She wanted to revel in that feeling of security, but the memories of her stepfather’s heartbreak resurfaced as if it had happened only yesterday. The heartbreak, the devastation, so fresh and raw.
If she stayed with Michael, if she gave their love a chance to grow and strengthen, he might end up heartbroken, too. If something happened to Ruth, if she were ripped away from him, he would endure the same torture.
Could she accept that kind of responsibility? Could she embrace the love he offered knowing it might one day destroy him?
Chapter Six – Michael
“That was amazing,” Michael said as he finished his steak. “The sauce was delicious.”
“It was a recipe my mom taught me.” Ruth’s knife and fork clattered onto her plate. “Why don’t you tell me more about your life?” She deflected attention away from her own past and on to his.
“Could I show you?” Michael asked. He stood up and took her hand. “We could clean up, and then drive over to my place. Sit and watch the sun go down, and enjoy the stars coming out. It’s a wonderful evening.”
“I’d like that.” She took his hand and he enjoyed the thrill of her touch. “Do you have a curfew?”
“No, it’s not a school night,” Ruth said in return. “Although if I’m not home before dawn, the neighbors might talk.”
“Let them talk,” Michael replied huskily. Being near Ruth ignited his passion, and his desire.
“I have a reputation to uphold. Being a schoolteacher.” They carried the plates and leftover food into the house. Ruth truly was an amazing cook.
They soon had Ruth’s kitchen cleaned, and the dishes washed and put away. Then Ruth ran upstairs to change into clean clothes, coming back down with a warm sweater over her arm. It was early summer, the evening still holding on to a chill in the air. Of course, Michael would have offered to keep her warm with his body. However, when he’d tried to comfort Ruth earlier, she’d struggled to relax. He had to remind himself they had only just met, and Ruth didn’t have the same intense feelings he did.
“So the woodland?” Ruth asked as they left her house, and drove the few miles to where his cabin stood nestled in a large clearing. He couldn’t wait to get there and share it with her. When he’d left the cabin earlier today, he would never have believed he would be returning with his mate. “How did you get from gang member to pop star to trees?”
“I won the lottery,” Michael replied simply.
“You what?” Ruth asked, her tone implying he was making fun of her.
“I won the lottery. Really.” He laughed at her wide-eyed expression. “After escaping the gang lifestyle to join a band, I toured for a couple of years. We were small time, so touring basically meant hauling our gear from one town to the next in a van. One night, in a dark, smoke-filled bar, I realized it wasn’t for me. So I set out to learn computer programming. I was good at it, but the hours were long and I missed the outdoors. Then I won the lottery.”
“And bought the woodland.” Ruth looked out of the window in the gathering dusk. “And came to live in the great outdoors.”
“Yes. I used to visit here on vacation.” He ducked his head to look at the mountain looming in the distance. “When I was younger, I did things I wasn’t proud of. Saving the trees felt as if I was giving something back. I live a simple life.”
“I like a simple life,” Ruth admitted.
“It’s an easy commute to the school.” Michael waited for her reaction.
“It is.” She glanced sideways at him. “I can’t promise you what you want, Michael. It’s too soon.”
“I know. But I’m a lucky bear.” He winked at her. “That’s the name that’s followed me through life, since I won the lottery. But I never felt lucky until tonight. Money can’t buy what’s between us.”
“I want to believe in this bond. I do believe in it. But it scares me, too,” Ruth admitted.
“Scares you how?” Michael turned off the main road and took a trail leading through ancient forests, winding between trees that reached deep down into the earth, drawing up nutrients to grow tall and strong. Sometimes, when he sat among the trees, Michael imagined he could hear them stretching their twigs and branches out toward the sun. They were alive. They might not be able to move, but that didn’t mean they weren’t aware of the wind in their branches and the sun on their leaves.
“Because of how my stepfather was when my mom died.” He couldn’t see her face, it was hidden in the shadows cast down by the trees overhead.
“History doesn’t have to repeat itself,” Michael told her. He stopped the truck in front of his cabin and half turned to face her. “Ruth, I know this is a shock for you. But I would rather spend my life with you and risk heartbreak, than live without you.”
Ruth leaned on the truck door and looked up at the moon as it crested the mountains in the distance. “I never knew how much my mom dying had tainted my life until today. The pain, the responsibility. I told myself I was happy to live alone because I’d spent so long living and caring for others. But now I see it. I’m scared.”
He reached for her hand and held it between his. “Whatever comes our way, we face together. I’m here for you, and we can take it as slow as you want.”
“I wouldn’t want to take it so slow that I lose my lottery winner.” Her teeth flashed white in the moonlight as she smiled. “I’m surprised you didn’t get yourself a trophy wife.”
Michael leaned across the space between them and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. “I think I just did.”
“Are you going to sit there talking all night, or show me around?” Ruth pulled back from him. He hoped he hadn’t offended her with his kiss.
“Let’s go and watch the moon rise, and then we can go inside and drink cocoa.” He jumped out of the pickup and went around to help Ruth out. She took his hand and slid out of the truck. “This way.”
Hand in hand, they followed a narrow trail that climbed uphill for half a mile. There he fetched dried wood from a small woodstore and placed it in the firepit, before lighting it. The wood crackled and spat, but soon burned cheerfully, taking the chill out of the air.
“It’s so quiet,” Ruth remarked. “I mean Bear Creek is quiet compared to my last home, but this…” She leaned against him as he sat down next to her. “We could almost be alone in the world.”
“We could.” Michael reached for her hand and sat down on the bench, pulling her to sit at his side. “You must like noise, since you work at the school. I love hearing the children playing outside,
so young and free, and happy.”
“I do, but there are times when you just want to escape. Growing up I found it difficult to find quiet. To listen to my own thoughts. To hear what I had to say.” Ruth leaned forward and wrapped her arms around herself as she stared at the fire. “I used to feel lost, as if I was swallowed up. Think Jonah and the Whale.” She gave a hollow laugh. “I love my brothers and sisters, but it meant me giving up myself for nearly eighteen years as I raised them all to be adults.”
Michael placed his hand on her back and rubbed it, trying to comfort her, trying to comfort the child who had taken on such responsibility. “I can’t imagine what that must be like. Living with the loss of your mom and raising kids when you were still a kid yourself.”
“You do what you have to do in life. It was me or a foster home. I couldn’t bear for the family to be split up, that would have been like another death. So I pulled it together.” Ruth leaned back, nestling into him, and he held her close, breathing in her scent mingled with that of the wood smoke from the fire that burned brightly, just as his heart burned brightly for the woman beside him.
“You are an incredibly brave woman.” He kissed the top of her head.
“It wasn’t all bad. I enjoyed so much of it. The fun and games as we slowly forgot the sadness and found joy in each other. We learned to work as a strong family unit. The older ones helping the younger ones. Getting dressed, homework.” A shudder passed through her body.
“If you want to let it out, do it.” Michael looked up at the stars above their heads, pinpricks of distant light from a long ago time. “You can shout at the devil here and only the trees will hear.”
“And you.” She patted his chest.
“And me. But I’m part of you now, as much as you are part of me. So I don’t count.”
Ruth sat up and looked at him. “What if I don’t want to be part of anything? What if I want to be my own person? Does it matter what I want?”
He touched her cheek with his hand, his fingers wet with her tears. “You are who you are. I will never try to change that. Our hearts, our souls might be joined, but we’re living, breathing entities.” Michael tried to put into words all the ways he wanted to reassure her that she would not lose herself, her identity again. “As the mate of a shifter…I’m here to support you. This bond means I will try my hardest, every day, to help you, support you… Ah, I’m not doing a good job of this.”
Ruth turned her face to his. “Try, there’s only the trees to hear you.”
He smiled, his eyes drawn to her lips as she spoke. “We’re together, but separate. We’re here for each other, to make the other whole. If that means setting a person free, then that’s what I’d do.” His voice caught in his throat. “I have it. I’m not here to capture your heart, or take away the part of you that’s Ruth. I’m here to help Ruth be the best, happiest person she can be. To cheer from the sidelines, or be there in the ring with you as you fight whatever comes your way.”
“I get it.” Ruth nodded, her eyes fixed on his.
“Do you know how much I want to kiss you right now?”
“Yes, I do.” Ruth touched his face, her thumb brushing over his lips, and he shuddered with longing. “Why don’t you, since there’s only the trees to see?”
Michael smiled and lowered his head, capturing her lips with his. She was everything and more than he could ever have wished for. Ruth sighed and pressed her body close to his. He longed to pick her up and carry her to his cabin, where he would make love to her on the bed he’d slept alone in for so many years.
But he settled for a kiss beneath the stars, surrounded by the forest he’d saved. As a gentle breeze whispered through the trees, it was as if they were telling each other about the bear shifter and his mate, and wishing them happiness.
Chapter Seven – Ruth
“Any juicy gossip?” Dani asked as they sat outside and ate their lunch at school the following Monday. The staff room was stuffy, and although sitting outside often meant interruptions from the children, it was still preferable to sit with the sun on their faces and the wind in their hair. Ruth also had a fascination with the mountains, which were higher than the skyscrapers in the city and she always sat looking at them, in awe of their magnificence.
Turning her attention to Dani, Ruth reluctantly realized that she was the topic of the juicy gossip Dani was fishing for. “I like him.”
“Of course you do! What’s not to like?” Dani asked.
“True.” Ruth closed her eyes and conjured up an image of Michael. Big broad chest, toned thighs, his hair might be threaded with silver, but he had the body of a much younger man.
Ruth brushed the crumbs off her dress. She might have to start working out, since she was soft in all the right places, and a few wrong ones. Although teaching kept her fit, she was often on her feet, walking around the classroom, she wasn’t as slim as she used to be.
“Dreaming of someone we know?” Debra Lassiter, one of the extremely efficient classroom assistants, asked. She sat down next to Dani and opened up her lunchbox with a groan. “I’m trying to lose weight.”
Dani laughed. “Do you want one of my cookies?” She offered Debra a chocolate chip cookie. “It says they are low fat on the box. I’m willing to believe it, since they taste good.”
“After I’ve eaten my salad, I’d love one.” Debra started to eat, and then reiterated her question. “It’s true then about you and Michael ‘Lucky Bear’ Finnian?”
“It is.” News certainly traveled fast around the school. She narrowed her eyes as she glanced at Dani.
“Wasn’t me!” Dani held up her hands in defense, but a giggle erupted from her. She might not be the one who told, but she knew who had. “Juliet heard us talking, she’s at that age where love is so romantic, you know, Disney princesses, the works. So she told a friend, who told her mom, and before you know it…the whole of Bear Creek knows.”
“And I was thinking it was only shared gossip around school,” Ruth sighed in resignation.
“It’s not as if it’s a secret,” Debra replied.
“I don’t want people to think I’m a fast mover.”
Dani giggled again. “Who cares, you two are mates. Jamie and I got together soon after he came back from the Army and I moved here. Fate. No one can outrun it.”
“Who would want to?” Debra said as she munched on a piece of celery. “At least you know it’s the real thing.”
“I do.” Ruth finished her lunch and packed everything away. “I’m sure some people will think I’m after his money.”
“A gold digger!” Dani’s eyes opened wide. “Yes, I’m sure some people will. You know, those who aren’t shifters.”
“There have been plenty of women chasing Michael over the years since he won that money,” Debra tried to reassure Ruth. “But everyone who matters knows the score. If anyone gives you a hard time, just ignore them.”
“Just like Jason needs to ignore the other kids,” Dani said as two boys began a scuffle.
“I’ll go.” Ruth left her lunchbox on the bench and walked across the playground. “Break it up, boys.”
Jason shoved the other boy off, before quickly raising his fists in defense. The other boy, whose name Ruth didn’t know, swung at Jason’s face, glancing off his chin. Jason howled in rage and lunged forward, but Ruth stepped in between them both in time to stop more punches from being thrown.
“Enough!” Ruth said with authority. The two boys stopped jostling her and took a step backward.
“He started it,” Jason’s opponent said immediately, and two of his friends swarmed around, murmuring in agreement.
“I did not!” Jason insisted.
“Mrs. Carlisle will deal with you both.” Ruth watched Jason tuck his head down, his shoulders slumped forward as if in defeat. “Come on, I’ll escort you there.”
Ruth ushered the two boys toward the main school building. As she opened the door for them to enter, she noticed Jenny standing to one side
. She looked so sad, Ruth’s heart ached for her. Was Jason the reason they never stayed in one place for long? Did he struggle to control his temper?
“What’s going to happen?” Jason asked quietly. “Will you call Dean or Elizabeth?”
“Probably. Fighting in school is something we don’t tolerate.” Ruth glanced over her shoulder to where the other boy was trailing behind, running his fingers along the wall, not concerned with the trouble he was in. Ruth wanted to ask Jason what happened, but she also wanted to hug him.
“Miss Bishop, is there a problem?” Mrs. Carlisle asked when Ruth knocked on the principal’s door.
“There was a fight in the schoolyard.” Ruth looked at the two boys. “I didn’t see who started it.”
“I have witnesses who say he did.” The boy pointed to Jason.
“You mean you have friends who say Jason started it, Reece?” Mrs. Carlisle asked, a stern expression on her face. “Come inside, both of you, and we’ll get to the bottom of this. Thank you, Miss Bishop.” Mrs. Carlisle rolled her eyes at Ruth as she shut the door behind them.
Ruth stood for a moment, and then retraced her steps, going outside to collect her lunchbox and to speak to Dani and Debra, who were both munching on cookies. “I might need one of those.”
“I bet Reece started it.” Dani offered a cookie to Ruth. “I taught him a couple of years ago, he was always a bit of a bully. Now he’s got a group of kids he likes to impress, and unfortunately Jason is an easy target.”
“Jason looked as if he was going to the gallows,” Ruth replied sadly. She turned to look at the school building, but the boys were still inside.
“Miss Bishop,” a small voice called.
Ruth turned back around to see Jenny beckoning to her. “Yes, Jenny.”
“Can I talk to you, please?” Jenny asked, her huge eyes tear-filled as she twirled her hair between her fingers.
“Of course.” Ruth got up and went to her, crouching down so she was Jenny’s height. The small girl looked scared, and lost. It was all Ruth could do not to reach out and hug her. “What can I do for you?”
Lucky Bear Page 4
