5
Prevention versus Revenge
Even in the best classrooms in the best schools, with the best teachers and the best students, there are sometimes problems. In the last chapter, we looked at the power of expectations. Now we turn our attention to what one assistant principal jokingly refers to as “the dark side of the force.” What do the great teachers do when a student misbehaves? What principles guide their behavior in difficult situations? How do they respond when things go wrong?
When a Student Misbehaves
When a student misbehaves, the great teacher has one goal: to keep that behavior from happening again. The least effective teacher often has a different goal: revenge. Effective teachers want to prevent misbehavior, whereas ineffective teachers focus on punishing a student after he or she misbehaves. If a child does not bring a pencil to class, they want that child to feel bad about it and choose to behave better as a result. They focus on the penalty, the punishment, the past.
Think about the parents we work with. Some parents consistently look to the future and wonder what we can do differently so that their child will be more successful. Other parents consistently focus on the past and talk about last year’s teacher, or an experience the child’s older sibling went through in another setting. Some parents even harp on what happened when they themselves were in school! Which parents would you rather work with?
We all know we can’t change what has already happened. What’s the point of directing our energy there?
As educators, we must focus on what we have the ability to influence. We all know we can’t change what has already happened. What’s the point of directing our energy there? Let’s work instead to prevent the misbehavior from happening again.
Sending Students to the Office
Let’s consider how teachers might want a student to behave after a disciplinary conference with the principal. Ineffective teachers want students to be upset when they leave the office. Effective teachers want students to be better when they leave. As a principal, I worked hard to help my teachers understand that we do not want students to feel angry when they leave. Heck, they were angry when they got there. In fact, that may be why a teacher referred them to the office in the first place. Angry students are a problem, not a solution.
Of course, teachers are entitled to support from the principal in disciplinary matters. But effective teachers have a clear understanding of what this support entails. I’d like to share a story that illustrates this from the principal’s point of view.
“Nuthin’ Happened”
One of my guidelines as a principal was that if a student cursed at a teacher, the consequence was a ten-day out-of-school suspension. One week into the new school year, one of the toughest eighth graders in the school crossed the line and landed in my office.
When I found out what he had done, I told him he was suspended for ten days. To my surprise, he burst into tears. He was genuinely upset. Then when I called his parents, they were really ticked off—at him. “Cussing at teachers... I don’t know where he gets that #@~& from!” (“Me neither,” I thought, “ It must have been cable television.”)
His parents lived far from town, so he would have to ride the bus home. Until then, he sat in my office and sobbed. Finally, with the last bell of the day about to ring, I offered him a box of tissues and helped him settle down. Then I escorted him to his bus.
As it happened, several of his classmates—and the teacher who had sent him to me—were standing there. I heard one of his buddies ask, “What happened when you got sent to the office?” The culprit replied, “Nuthin’,” and hopped on the bus.
That won me a glare from the teacher. But as we talked about it later, it also gave us both an important insight. Of course he said, “Nuthin’ happened.” What was he supposed to say? “They broke me like a horse. I’ve been bawling like a baby for an hour! I’ll never do anything wrong again!”
Effective teachers understand that what matters is not whether a student leaves the office mad, and not what the student reports to his peers, but how the student behaves in the future. Effective teachers don’t need the principal to wield the sword of revenge on their behalf. They do need the principal to reinforce their expectations for student behavior and to support their responses to misbehavior. In fact, they welcome all the help they can get!
A Teacher’s Bag of Tricks
While the support of the administrator is always helpful, here are some questions that excellent educators ask themselves.
♦ What can teachers do when a student misbehaves?
List all of the options—not just what you would do, but what any teacher, good or bad, rookie or veteran, might do.
I’ve done this with many groups, and the lists look remarkably similar: eye contact, proximity, redirect the student, send them to the office, put them in timeout, argue with the student, send them to sit in the hall, yell, ignore, praise another student for positive behavior, embarrass them, and so on. (Now, most of you probably flinch at some of these behaviors and nod in agreement with others. However, the point here is quantity. After we generate a list, we can shift to quality.)
Now answer this question:
♦ Which of these approaches always work?
The answer is clear: “None of them.” Of course there is no single approach that always works. If there were, we would use it every time.
These options are a teacher’s bag of tricks. Ask yourself this:
♦ Does every teacher have the same options?
The answer is yes. Every teacher has the same tools in their bag of tricks. Every teacher can use eye contact or proximity, send a student to the office, praise, argue, or yell. Not every teacher does, but any teacher could do everything on your list and any other lists teachers can generate.
What, then, is the difference between good classroom managers and poor classroom managers? It’s not what is in our bag of tricks because they are all the same. What are the variables? One, of course, is how often the teachers reach into their bag of tricks. A great teacher reaches in once or twice a day. A poor teacher grabs away several times an hour, and if we reach into our bag of tricks often enough, we’re going to pull out some ugly ones.
This brings us to another, more important variable—the question of quality. Some options that often appear on the list—yelling, arguing, and humiliating (sarcasm)—deserve special attention. Ask yourself the following questions:
♦ When is sarcasm appropriate in the classroom?
You know the answer: Never. Then let’s never use it in our classrooms.
♦ Who decides how many arguments you get into in a week?
The answer, of course, is that we do. We never win an argument with a student. As soon as it starts, we have lost. If their peers are watching, they cannot afford to give in. We would like to win the argument, but they have to win the argument. (Plus, I have always felt that in all student–teacher interactions, there needs to be at least one adult, and I would prefer that it be the teacher.)
♦ Outside of a true emergency (“Watch out for the acid!”) when is an appropriate time and place for yelling?
Again, we know the answer is never. The students we are most tempted to yell at have been yelled at so much, why on earth would we think this would be effective with them? Therefore, we do not yell at students.
Effective teachers choose wisely from their bag of tricks.
Respect Your Students, Their Parents—and Yourself
As educators, we know how important it is to treat students with respect, no matter how they behave. We do this for our students’ sake; otherwise, they won’t thrive in our classrooms. We also understand that we should extend the same respect to their parents—again, no matter how they behave. Otherwise, we won’t be able to work productively with them to help their child. However, there’s another reason we should treat students and their parents with respect: We do it for our own sake. Think of how you feel when you know you have treated a student or
parent inappropriately. Knowing that you have made them feel bad, you feel worse!
During a recent workshop on dealing with difficult parents, one teacher described a typical problem—a teacher who telephones a parent to discuss a child’s misbehavior is blasted with a barrage of rudeness—and offered a simple solution: Just hang up the phone. The rest of the group sympathized with the situation. Such harangues are enough to tax anyone’s patience. But what happens if we choose a response like hanging up on a parent? The issue shifts from the child’s behavior to our behavior. We have actually given that parent the upper hand. Especially during times of stress, it’s essential to remain professional.
Twenty-Four Students on the Side of the Teacher
It is the first day of school, and we are invisible observers in Mr. Johnson’s first period social studies class. Of the twenty-five students in the room, twenty-four seem to be on their best first-day-of-school behavior. But one—we’ll call him #25—is not settling in quite as well. As a matter of fact, he is downright uncooperative and rude.
At this point, assuming no other dynamics are yet established, the other twenty-four students are on Mr. Johnson’s side. They want him to take steps so #25 will stop misbehaving. However, since #25 is one of them, they have special expectations. They do want #25 to stop misbehaving, but they want Mr. Johnson to deal with him in a professional and respectful way. As long as he does, they will stay on his side.
However, the first time he treats #25 in a less than professional manner—regardless of #25’s behavior—the other students will side with #25. Maybe not all of them will shift their allegiances right away, but some will, and now Mr. Johnson has several #25s on his hands. If this happens often, the class will eventually consist of twenty-five #25s—and not one student on Mr. Johnson’s side.
In general, students know the difference between right and wrong, and they want their teachers to deal with irresponsible peers. If you always respond appropriately and professionally, everyone else will be on your team. But the first time you do not, you may lose some of your supportive students—and you may never get them back. This makes maintaining a high level of dignity, especially under pressure, a critical skill. Effective teachers have this skill, while others do not.
If you always respond appropriately and professionally, everyone else will be on your team.
Restoring Trust
Conflict between a teacher and a student, or between a teacher and a parent—especially if it is not resolved—often leads to a loss of trust. The student or parent loses trust in the teacher, and perhaps the teacher loses trust as well.
In Chapter 7, we’ll look at how the best teachers take responsibility for changing situations and behaviors that have led to problems. In Chapter 11, we’ll address the importance of repairing relationships that have been damaged by past missteps. Great teachers understand that any loss of trust is difficult to remedy. Even more crucially, they know that unless they work to prevent a repetition of the conflict, the fragile trust might never be restored. Our efforts to rebuild that trust are often more productive if we focus on the future more than on the past.
When a student misbehaves, great teachers have one goal: to keep that behavior from happening again.
6
High Expectations—for Whom?
Recently I was addressing a large group of teachers. Just as I was building up to my main point, a teacher in the audience raised her hand. Although this is unusual, especially with large groups in this format, I paused and called on her. She asked, “Do you mind if we grade papers or read the newspaper while you are speaking?”
The question caught me off guard, and I reacted honestly. “I don’t mind if you grade papers or read the newspaper during my presentation,” I said. “I don’t mind at all—as long as you are comfortable with students doing whatever they want to do in your class while you are teaching.”
A ripple of laughter spread through the room, and I paused for a long moment. Then I asked the audience, “How many of you have heard that great teachers have high expectations for students?” Of course, almost everyone raised a hand.
Setting aside the thread of my presentation for a moment, I invited them to consider this statement more closely—and I invite you now to do the same.
Are High Expectations Important?
Many people believe, and I agree, that great teachers have high expectations for students. However, let’s focus on the question: What is the variable? True, the best teachers have high expectations for students. But is this a difference that separates great teachers from the rest?
Even the worst teachers have high expectations for students. They expect students to be engaged no matter how irrelevant the material is. They expect students to pay attention no matter how boring and repetitious their classes are. They expect students to be well behaved no matter how the teacher treats them. Now, those are high expectations.
The variable is not what teachers expect of students. Many teachers of all skill levels have high expectations for students. The variable—and what really matters—is what teachers expect of themselves. Great teachers have high expectations for students but even higher expectations for themselves. Poor teachers have high expectations for students but much lower expectations for themselves. Not only that, they have unrealistically high expectations for everyone else as well. They expect the principal to be perfect, every parent to be flawless, and every one of their peers to hold them in incredibly high regard.
I turned back to the teacher whose question had sparked this discussion. “As a presenter,” I said, “I feel a responsibility to engage the audience. I believe that what I am saying is important, and of course I want my audience to give me their full attention. But it’s my job to gain, and to keep, their attention. If I’m not doing that, I need to change my approach.”
Just like in the classroom, we must always work to engage the students. If the students are not focused, great teachers ask what they themselves can do differently.
Before I returned to my presentation, I posed a challenge to the teachers in the room. “It’s easy to have high expectations for the students in your classrooms,” I said. “The challenge is to focus on your own performance. Strive to be a great teacher; set even higher expectations for yourself.”
Great teachers have high expectations for students, but have even higher expectations for themselves.
7
Who Is the Variable?
What really makes the difference between two schools? What matters most in the classroom? Effective educators understand the answer to these questions. Indeed, they know that the real question is not what the variable is, but who. Great teachers know who the variable is in the classroom: They are.
Who Is the Variable in the Classroom?
How many of you could predict which teacher in your school will send the most students to the office next year? How about the year after that? When I ask a roomful of principals this question, pretty much every hand goes up. I then ask, “How can you possibly know this? Do you already have the student rosters made up?” The answer is very simple: They know because the main variable in a classroom is not the students. The main variable is the teacher.
Interestingly, when I ask any group of teachers this question, they have the same response. (Generally the only teachers who don’t raise their hands are the two or three who send the most students to the office.) Now, if we all know this, we ought to be able to talk about it. I have always believed that if there is an elephant in the room, it’s important to acknowledge its presence—not just tiptoe around it, pretending it isn’t there. Understand, that does not mean we attack the portly pachyderm, or make fun of it—just that we recognize it and take steps to deal with it.
What If the Students Do Poorly?
Ask yourself these questions:
If the best teacher in a school gives an assignment and the students perform poorly, as we are all aware, this can happen to the best of us), whom does she blame?
The predictable answer: Herself.
Now, if the worst teacher in a school gives an assignment and the kids perform poorly, whom does he blame?
Predictable answers: The kids, the parents, or administration (“If we had some discipline around here, maybe we could teach these kids something!”) They could also blame last year’s teachers, or drugs, or MTV, or . . .
Whose behavior can a teacher actually control in his classroom?
The only possible answer: His own.
The answers speak for themselves.
What is the variable here? Not the students doing poorly on the assignment because that happens in both groups. The variable is how the teachers respond. Good teachers consistently strive to improve, and they focus on something they can control: their own performances. Other teachers wait for something else to change. Great teachers look to themselves for answers, while poor teachers look elsewhere. As we know, they can wait a very long time for anything else to make a difference.
When we center on our own behavior, we feel empowered to make a difference.
Clearly, the best teachers accept responsibility for their classrooms and the worst teachers do not. I do a great deal of work in classroom management. When I talk to teachers about behavior issues, whose behavior do you think I talk about? The teachers’, of course. Otherwise, it’s all too easy to feel overwhelmed and defeated. When we center on our own behavior, we feel empowered to make a difference.
What Great Teachers Do Differently Page 4
