Frustrated, Harold peered back down at the basketball court. He’d missed the last three baskets. He hadn’t even heard the announcer say who’d made the shots. His phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket and opened the text. It was from Kelly. She was going to stay in the car the rest of the game. She doesn’t feel well, Harold grumbled at the last bit of her message.
Tonight, he was tired of her being sick. He was finished with her being secretive and trying to shut him out of her life. Tonight, he was going to watch his stepdaughter play basketball. If Kelly won’t let me in on what’s going on, she can just wait in the car.
He clapped as the buzzer sounded signifying the end of the first quarter. “God, I never thought I’d be saying this only two months in, but please, help my marriage.”
thirteen
It was Monday, and Kelly still hadn’t started her cycle, she’d taken two more pregnancy tests, and they still came back positive. Thank You, Lord, that I won’t have to face my students today, since they’re out of school and we have professional development. But then, Kelly would be missing that, as well. She’d have to make up the hours at a later date. Today, she was going to Zoey’s ultrasound appointment. She peered at her reflection in the mirror and mumbled, “It’s going to be a great day. I get to find out the sex of my grandchild and if they’re doing okay.” She clasped her hands in front of her chest. “And I get to make an appointment to find out about my baby.”
Her expression sombered, and she plopped onto the toilet cover. “And I need to tell Harold.”
Her stomach groaned with anxiety at the thought of what he would say. She’d had her tubes tied five years before, she never even considered worrying about getting pregnant. Besides, she was thirty-eight years old, not that she was too old, but when she was the mother of teenagers and about to be a grandmother—Kelly shook her head and sighed. This whole situation was ridiculously overwhelming.
She remembered the way he’d laughed when Sadie had mistakenly guessed that she and Harold were pregnant. He made it abundantly obvious that the last thing he wanted was for the two of them to have a child.
A knock sounded on the bathroom door. “Come on, Kelly.
We don’t want to be late.”
Kelly groaned. And Harold was going with them to the appointment. Ever since he’d taken Zoey shopping for maternity clothes, Zoey wanted Harold to be a part of everything. Kelly couldn’t believe he’d agreed to take the morning off to go to the ultrasound with them. Of course, she’d seen the look of shock and uncertainty that wrapped Harold’s features when Zoey asked him to go. It was apparent he didn’t feel exceptionally comfortable with the idea. But she also knew that Harold wouldn’t say no.
It was one of the things she loved about him.
What’s he going to say when he finds out he and I are going to have a baby? We’ll be raising our child and grandchild at the same time, as if they were cousins. The very idea … Kelly stood and walked out of the bathroom. Just don’t think about it right now. One thing at a time.
“Come on, Mom,” Zoey hollered from the front of the house.
“I’m coming.” Kelly opened Candy’s door. Her youngest was still fast asleep, swaddled in a pile of covers. She gently shut the door, then headed toward Brittany’s room. Kelly could barely get the door open from the clutter on the floor. This kid’s going to clean her room today. She peered in at Brittany. She was asleep, as well. They’d probably be home before either girl awakened. Kelly shut the door, grabbed her coat, and slipped it on. She picked up her purse from the table and shut and locked the door.
As she walked down the sidewalk toward the car, she looked at Harold. His discomfort at going to Zoey’s ultrasound was obvious, but she could tell he’d do whatever Zoey asked. She loved that about Harold. A vision of his expression when she told him she, too, was pregnant flashed through her mind. It wasn’t pretty. She pushed it away. She could only imagine what he would think.
Harold wanted to crawl out of the doctor’s room when Zoey lay on the bed and the nurse prepared her for the ultrasound. Standing close to Zoey’s head, he focused on the blank screen that would soon show Zoey’s baby. Why in the world would she want me here? Harold forced himself not to cringe. He couldn’t recall a time he’d felt more uncomfortable.
But Zoey had changed so much since she’d recommitted herself to the Lord. He caught her reading her Bible all the time. She journaled constantly, and though he’d never read anything she wrote, he had a feeling she was often talking to God because her Bible always lay on top of her journal.
She also sought Harold out every day to talk to him about one thing or another. It had even been her idea for him to take her and her sisters to a movie the following weekend. “It’ll be a father/daughter date.” Her words ran through his mind. He’d nearly swallowed his tongue when she said that. He wanted so much for the girls to think of him as a father. Having never had children and knowing he never would, Harold found himself enjoying being a father to Kelly’s girls.
“Okay, we’re ready.” The nurse’s voice shook Harold from his thoughts.
He peered in amazement as the figure of a baby formed on the screen. The picture was so clear, so precise, it was almost like looking at a black-and-white photo of the child. The woman marked and clicked at various places, confirming the heart, the spine, the legs, that everything appeared as it should.
“Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” the nurse asked.
“Yes,” Harold replied. His cheeks warmed as Kelly and Zoey chuckled at his excitement. He looked at their faces. “I mean, if you all want to.”
“Sure,” Zoey said.
“He’s a boy,” the nurse said.
A boy. Harold would have a blast playing with the little guy. He patted Zoey’s shoulder. “He looks pretty strong.”
Zoey chuckled. “Could I get two copies of the pictures you’ve taken? Someone else would like copies.”
Harold frowned. Had Jamie come back to town? Was she seeing him and they didn’t know it? His heart raced at the thought. Christian or not, Harold wasn’t sure how he would respond if he ever saw Jamie again. The man had taken advantage of Zoey, and Harold wasn’t sure he would be able to control his temper if he saw the guy.
Harold’s thoughts must have gotten away from him because when he looked back at Zoey, the nurse had already left and Zoey was sitting on the edge of the patient bed. She gripped the photos in her hands. “I need to talk to you both.”
Her tone was serious, and Harold looked from Zoey to Kelly. His wife hadn’t said two words since they’d gotten to the doctor’s office. She’d spoken with the receptionist for several minutes when they’d first arrived, but since then she’d been completely silent. Even throughout the entire ultrasound.
“I was going to wait until we got home.” Zoey peered down at the pictures. “But I think I’ll go ahead and tell you now.”
If she said she was going to run off with that low-down, no-good fellow who got her pregnant Harold wouldn’t be responsible for his actions. God, I know we’re supposed to love everyone. We’re supposed to forgive. But if Zoey is so foolish as to think that man would do right by her … Harold’s blood boiled. His heart nearly beat out of his chest. His fists balled, and he knew that if it was within his power, no man would hurt his little girl. And she was his little girl now.
He looked at his wife, whose face had blanched. Her hand rested at the nape of her neck. It trembled ever so slightly, and Harold knew she had no idea what Zoey was going to say. Though Kelly was as beautiful as ever, the last few months had taken a toll on her. Dark lines rested beneath her eyes, and Harold knew she hadn’t slept well in a long while. She’d barely talked to him since the game on Friday night, and Harold had no idea what to do with her.
Just love her. That’s all I can do.
“I’ve made a decision.”
Harold looked back at Zoey. She peered up at her mother, then toward Harold. “I’ve been praying about it. Real
ly seeking God’s will. I’ve messed up, but God has forgiven me and now I want to live for Him, to do what He wills.”
Harold swallowed. His stepdaughter sounded so serious, so old. He believed that she’d sought God on whatever she was about to tell them. He’d watched her, and he knew she’d changed. He gazed at Kelly. She sat back down in the chair beside Zoey.
“What is it, Zoey?” Kelly’s voice sounded tired.
“And I’ve already talked with Cam and Sadie about it. I think it’s for the best.”
Cam and Sadie? What did they have to do with any of this?
Zoey held up the pictures of her little boy. “I’ve decided to allow Cam and Sadie to adopt my son.”
Harold let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in. The idea bounced back and forth through his mind. Cam and Sadie were wonderful parents, and they would adore Zoey’s child. The more he thought about it, the more Harold realized the idea was a good one.
“I’m not ready to be a mom.” Zoey looked at her mother. “Cam and Sadie could give my son everything he needed, and he’d have a big sister. And I would still be able to see him …”
“I don’t know if you realize how hard giving up your baby would be.” Kelly’s tone was low and serious, her expression blank.
“You’re right, Mom. I don’t, but I love him enough to do what’s right for him. I’ll barely be eighteen when he’s born.” “I was twenty when I had you.”
Harold frowned. Allowing Cam and Sadie to adopt the child seemed to be the perfect solution. Zoey could go on to college. She could still see her son on a regular basis. And Kelly knew she’d been seeking God’s will for her life. He frowned at Kelly. “It sounds like she’s prayed a lot about this, Kelly.”
Kelly stared up at Harold. “I’m not saying she shouldn’t give her son up for adoption.” She looked back at Zoey. “I just want to be sure she understands that either way, having a baby is a life-changing experience. Once you’ve become pregnant, there’s no going back.” She looked back up at Harold, and he wondered at the pleading expression on her face. “A pregnancy changes everything.”
Zoey grabbed Kelly’s hand. “I believe you, Mom. I feel this is what God wants. Will you pray with me about it?”
Kelly wrapped her arms around her daughter. “Of course I will.”
Harold felt perplexed at Kelly’s response. What was going on with his wife?
Kelly was thankful that for the last few days she hadn’t felt quite as nauseated. She followed Harold and Zoey into the house. They’d just left Zoey’s ultrasound appointment. Zoey and Harold had talked nonstop about her notion of giving Kelly’s grandchild to Cam and Sadie. In the depths of Kelly’s spirit, she knew Zoey was making the right choice. She’d support her daughter completely.
At the same time, it broke Kelly’s heart to know that Zoey would experience heartache and trials no matter what she chose. Being a young mother herself when she had Zoey, she knew how overwhelming the physical care for a new baby would be. Kelly’d had the support of a loving husband when she’d had Zoey. But Kelly also knew that giving away a child would be equally as difficult. How many times had she and Sadie talked about Sadie’s longings to be Ellie’s mother? How would Zoey respond when her son called Sadie “Mom” or when Cam and Sadie had to discipline him or when he ran to them for help with a boo-boo. Either way, Zoey would experience pain and loss, and it broke Kelly’s heart that her daughter would go through that.
“Hi, Mom,” Candy squealed as they walked through the door. “Hey, Harold.” She wrapped her arms around Harold in a hug.
“So, what’s Zoey having?” Brittany asked. “A boy,” Zoey responded. “But I’m giving him up for adoption.”
“You’re what?” Candy’s voice raised two octaves and she peered at her oldest sister.
“To Cam and Sadie,” Zoey said seriously. “Mom, did you know this?” Shock wrapped Brittany’s expression.
Kelly couldn’t handle this right now. She waved her hand. “Let me go to the bathroom, then we’ll all talk.”
Kelly practically raced past her daughters and into her bathroom. She shut the door, allowing her whole body to lean against it. She could hear Zoey and Harold talking to the girls about the baby. It was evident Harold supported Zoey’s decision completely.
She couldn’t blame him. The man was forty years old. He didn’t have any siblings. He’d been thrown into a marriage of a bunch of nutty, hormonal women and learned on his honeymoon that his teenage stepdaughter was going to have a baby. He didn’t want a baby in the house. His response had been overwhelmingly obvious of the fact.
Adoption to Cam and Sadie probably is the best thing for Zoey’s baby, her spirit nudged her.
And Harold had never given Kelly any reason to think he wouldn’t have been willing to keep Zoey’s baby.
Being willing and wanting a child are two different things.
She growled as she flopped on the toilet cover. I started my day worrying right here.
She shook her head. Harold was going to completely freak out when he found out she was pregnant. She pulled her doctor’s appointment slip from her purse. Because of her age and the fact that she’d had her tubes tied, the receptionist had made an appointment for her to see the doctor the following week.
One week. She would love to wait until after her appointment to tell Harold about the pregnancy, but she thought of the students from school. By tomorrow morning, Brittany would probably hear rumors that her mom had bought a pregnancy test.
No. She couldn’t wait the seven days. She’d have to tell Harold. She’d have to tell him tonight. The thought made Kelly’s stomach churn. Her heart raced, her palms grew sweaty. How much could one man take? They hadn’t even been married three months. The poor guy would probably go running and screaming from the house, vowing never to return.
A mental image filled her mind of her oversized, dark-haired husband flailing his arms through the air and racing from the house. She could see him in his light brown work shirt and stained darker brown pants. His big, clunky boots would leave massive prints in the snow. A smile bowed her lips. The image was too funny, and it lightened her mood.
God, You already know everything.
She shoved the appointment slip back into her purse and shrugged her shoulders. The truth was she was the mother of a seventeen-year-old pregnant daughter. She had a fifteen-year-old daughter who was a living, breathing, walking tornado, leaving traces of food, clothes, and dirt everywhere she went. She was the mother of an eleven-year-old whose body was beginning to blossom and who begged almost every day to shave her legs, wear makeup, and get a cell phone. And now, she was pregnant with her new husband’s baby.
She lived a wacky life. It was the one God had given her. She was nervous about Harold’s response, however she had no choice but to tell him. In the meantime, she’d change her attitude. God, my life belongs to You. And if another baby is what You want …
She shrugged her shoulders and opened the bathroom door.
She could hear the girls talking over each other, and Harold’s intermittent attempt to get in a word of his own. She sighed.
Then a baby is what we’ll have.
fourteen
Harold settled into bed. It had been a long day. He’d intended to go in to work after Zoey’s ultrasound appointment, but when Zoey announced she’d be giving the baby to Cam and Sadie, his girls had needed him. They’d all done a lot of talking and praying. Thankfully, when he’d called Rudy to see how things were going at work, Rudy told him he and Walt had everything covered. I’ll just go in a bit earlier tomorrow.
He turned toward his alarm clock and reset it for four thirty. After picking up his Bible, he turned to the book of Acts. He’d been reading through his Bible one chapter a night for several years. As much as he hated reading, he found his relationship with the Lord deepened just by reading a bit of Scripture each night. Even I can handle one chapter per night.
Kelly walked out of the bathroo
m. She wore a long flannel nightgown that practically covered every inch of her body from her neck all the way down her arms and all the way down to her ankles. She padded on bare feet to the dresser, where she opened the top drawer, pulled out a pair of fluffy red socks, and quickly shoved them on her feet. He couldn’t help but chuckle.
Kelly looked at him. Her face had been newly cleaned and was shiny from whatever lotion or cream she put on each night. She’d put some kind of band around her head to keep any hair from touching her face. “You know I freeze at night.”
Harold patted the bed. “I think you look adorable.”
She slipped into bed beside him and reached for a bottle of lotion on her end table. While she rubbed the flowery smelling stuff on her hands, Harold looked back at his Bible and started to read.
“Harold,” Kelly whispered. “Do you love me?”
“You know I do,” Harold mumbled and continued to focus on the words in front of him. He read about the Lord telling Ananias to go to Straight Street to look for a man named Saul. God’s precise instructions always fascinated him. The Lord was specific, and Harold loved that about Him.
“Harold,” Kelly whispered again. “You know I love you, too.”
“Mmmhmm.” Harold continued to read about Ananias’s fear about the harm Saul had already done to the Christians. Harold wondered if he would voice his concern to God as Ananias did. If Harold heard God’s audible voice, he hoped he’d respond affirmatively right away. But then sometimes I realize later He’s right next to me trying to tell me something important, but I’m oblivious to His voice.
“Harold,” Kelly whispered again. “How much do you love me?”
“A whole bunch,” Harold mumbled, as he continued to read the Lord’s emphatic instruction to Ananias to do as God said. Ananias needed to listen to God and not doubt the men He chose to spread His word. Lord, I just don’t think I would be so hardheaded. I think I would recognize that I needed to listen to You, to heed what You said.
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