by A'zayler
“Yeshi? Did you?”
“Logan, let’s just leave this alone. You don’t need to know all the details.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to say it. I know you did. That’s all y’all do. You did it to me, so I’m sure you did it to her too.”
Her body was no longer in his grasp when she leaned on the other side of the tub. Her eyes were open and looked withdrawn. Her hair was damp with some sticking to her ear and neck. Tears rolled continuously down her face, and she remained quiet.
“You know how when you slide in and close your eyes before snuggling your face into my neck? Did you do that to her?” Logan tilted her head to the side. “I know you know what I’m talking about because you do it every time, and it makes me feel like you need me. Did you need her too?”
“Nah, it was nothing intimate about it. I fucked her on the backseat, got my nut, and dipped. That was it. No feelings, no nothing.”
“Did you use a condom?”
Yeshi nodded while looking earnestly into her eyes. She stared at him so long that he swore she’d transferred her feelings to him. Everything that she was feeling, he felt. His chest was weighed down, and his heart felt weird. So, versus comforting her, he needed to comfort himself. Yeshi was on his feet and removing his clothing while she watched in agony.
When he was undressed, he climbed in behind her and pulled her between his legs. There, they stayed until the water got cold. She’d even turned to the side so that she could nestle herself in his lap. Yeshi was there for her. In every aspect of the word, he was there.
“I’m so sorry. We’re going to go through this together. I caused this, so I want to be here for you every step of the way.”
Logan nodded and continued to cry. She cried for pretty much the entire night. In the shower, in the bed, and at one point, in her sleep. That had blown his mind. Never had he ever seen anyone sleep and cry at the same time. If he hadn’t been broken down to nothing before, watching her hold her chest while tears slid down her cheeks had done it. He felt like shit.
In that one moment, he realized that he really did deserve everything his mother had done to him. Only a bad person would do something so agonizing to someone like Logan. Behind her, Yeshi shed a few tears of his own. He’d really done it this time.
“Will this be all for you, sir?” the cashier with the bald head and scruffy gray beard asked him.
In a daze, Yeshi nodded before sliding him the twenty-dollar bill. With the brown paper bag gripped tightly in his fist, he exited the package store up the street from Logan’s house and headed to his truck. He didn’t even wait to get all the way back to her place before popping the top and drinking straight from it.
For the first two days after she left, he hadn’t drunk a thing, wanting to be sober upon her return, but when she never came, the urge to feel better overtook him. With drinking being the only thing to ever alleviate all his feelings, he was right back into his sunken place.
The liquor burned going down but eased every ounce of anxiety that had encompassed him before. When he’d drank enough to get him home, he cranked up and headed for her house. Before he could get there, his phone rang. It was Gabrion. What could that nigga possibly want?
“Yo,” he answered.
“Where you at?”
“Headed to the crib.”
“Nah, don’t go there. Run by the gym real quick,” he said in a low voice. “Logan over here talking to some lame ass nigga. She smiling and shit, though. Don’t lose your girl like this.”
Yeshi’s body surged into overdrive as his blood warmed, his palms began to sweat, and his limbs vibrated a tad. He could feel himself getting outside of his mind as he bent the corner headed in the direction of Killian’s gym. It had been years since he’d felt the urge to fight and actually go crazy, but he was in the right mind to do just that if he pulled up and Logan was on some bullshit.
“They inside?”
“Nah, they in the parking lot by her car.”
“Bet. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Gabrion told him he’d watch her until he came before ending their call. All kinds of hell was about to break loose the moment he laid eyes on her and whatever nigga she was with. She had been dodging him about Jerian, and here she was doing the exact same thing not even a whole week later.
“Aggh!” Yeshi shook the steering wheel. “Stupid li’l bitch!” He seethed.
The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. When the front end of his tires finally rolled into the parking lot of Killian’s gym, he was on takeoff. He’d riled himself up a million times simply off the strength of being halfway tipsy already. Not tipsy enough to look over the fact that she was leaning on the car speaking casually with some nigga with dreads and a mouth full of gold teeth.
“This hoe dun’ lost her mind.” Yeshi was so angry that he didn’t even bother to find a parking spot. Instead, he pulled his truck right up behind the white Challenger that she was leaning on.
Yeshi threw the truck into park and hopped out. In a navy-blue jogging suit and sneakers, he was in the perfect attire to fuck this fake rapper ass nigga up. He was moving so fast that they hadn’t even had a chance to move from where they were standing, so he got to them both immediately. The closer he got, the better he was able to see.
“Yo, Logan, you really tripping right now, ma.” Yeshi stopped right in front of her while making sure to keep his eyes on the dude.
He was a fair-skinned nigga like Logan with the same bright brown dreads that flew all over his fucking head. His gold teeth were shining through his lips being that he didn’t have his mouth closed all the way, while gold jewelry and a bunch of other shit draped his neck and wrists. The camouflage jacket he wore covered the all black clothes that eventually led to a pair of black combat boots on his feet.
If Yeshi hadn’t been on the verge of killing the nigga, he would have had to admire his style. He was fresh as fuck but would still get his shit split if he came out the side of his neck to Yeshi, which would probably happen sooner than later. The look on the nigga’s face was already pissing him off. He had the nerve to be standing there with a mug on his face like he wanted some real problems. Yeshi had to chuckle because if that li’l nigga only knew the ass whooping he would get fucking around with him, he’d back his li’l young ass down.
“Fuck you looking at, little ass nigga?” Yeshi couldn’t even hold it in.
The nigga wasn’t little by far, but he wasn’t as big as Yeshi. He had a little bit of height and weight on him, but nothing that would prevent Yeshi from killing his baby-faced ass.
Baby face smiled and ran his hand over his mouth before looking Yeshi up and down while Logan stepped toward Yeshi and put her hand on his chest.
“Yeshi, don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what? Tell me what the fuck I don’t need to do.” He could feel his temper rising, and it was about to be some serious shit in point zero seconds.
“Yo, fam, don’t be screaming at her like that.” Baby-face snatched his pants up on his waist and pointed in Yeshi’s direction. “On blood, I’ll rock your bitch ass.”
That was all it took. Yeshi was already eager to pounce on his ass, and him opening his mouth did it for him. Yeshi was around Logan and at the young dude’s throat in no time. His long arms connected with his face before the rest of his body made it to him. Young nigga got credit though because his hands came just as fast. He was jabbing Yeshi’s ass fast as hell.
“Y’all stop!” Logan’s screams landed on deaf ears because neither of the men acknowledged her.
Yeshi was literally out of his mind as he swung blow after blow at the boy. He was eating his ass up too. Angry and way longer than his baby-faced ass, his reach was killing dude. That young nigga’s hands were as quick as lightning though because he was eating the hits and giving them right back. It was all bad as they fell onto the ground between the cars still hitting.
“Yeshi, get your ass off him!” Logan was on his
back snatching at him.
The blood in his body shot through the roof when he heard her defending the boy. He had just raised up to get off the ground and grab the nigga’s head when he felt himself being pulled backward.
“Yeshi, chill the fuck out, nigga!” Killian screamed while snatching him back. “What the fuck you doing?”
With his adrenaline still pumping wildly, Yeshi lunged for the dude again, only to be blocked by Logan’s body.
“Get back!” she yelled while grabbing the front of his face and pushing his head back.
“Yo, you tripping!” Yeshi yelled at her.
“Nah, nigga, that’s your ass up here fighting and shit. The fuck you think you at?” Killian and now Gabrion were pulling Yeshi back as he watched li’l buddy wipe the blood from his nose and mouth with Logan’s simple ass standing next to him trying to nurse the shit.
“Logan, you better get your muthafucking ass over here and stop playing with me.” Yeshi’s voice was ice cold as he warned her the best he could without cursing her flat the fuck out.
“You better stop talking to me like you crazy,” she sassed.
“Aye, fuck that nigga, Lo,” Baby-face told her before raising his head to face Yeshi. “Bitch ass. On blood, you dead, my nigga.”
“Get it now then nigga.” Yeshi tried unsuccessfully to get to him again. “Get the fuck off me, yo,” he based at Killian and Gabrion.
“Nigga, fuck no! You wildin’ the fuck out right now.” Killian pushed him back until they were in front of his truck. “Chill your ass out.”
“Nah! Logan is acting real fucking shady right now. Out here with another nigga like I won’t kill both of their stupid asses.”
“Lo, fuck nah!” Baby-faced yelled at Logan.
“Don’t be talking all crazy to her. You want some real shit then bring your li’l ass back over here,” Yeshi yelled when he heard the dude raising his voice as Logan.
Logan nor the boy paid Yeshi any attention. Instead, they stayed near the white car fussing with each other and saying a bunch of stupid shit that Yeshi would gladly beat out of that nigga. He was still trying to buck loose when Killian caught his attention.
“Yesh, you really crashing out right now.”
Yeshi looked at Killian indignantly. “You act like her out here smiling at that muthafucka is cool.”
“I don’t give a damn if it ain’t. This my fucking business you out here showing your ass at.” Killian loosened his grip on Yeshi’s body. “Fuck is wrong with you?”
“She won’t even answer the phone for me, won’t bring her ass home.” Yeshi looked at Logan. “That’s where you been, Logan? You been laid up at this nigga’s house? You ain’t brought your ass home in days, but you out here in the streets fucking off?”
“Yeshi, shut up!” Logan yelled over her shoulder.
“Aye, blood, you better stop talking to my muthafucking sister like she one of these freak ass bitches.” Baby-face took Yeshi’s breath clean away. “Weak ass better watch your fucking mouth.”
Killian, Yeshi, and Gabrion all stared at him as he threatened Yeshi. Gabrion and Yeshi remained quiet while Killian addressed the obvious.
“Logan, this is your brother?”
Logan looked sadly at Killian then Yeshi while nodding her head. “Yeah.”
“Blood brother?” Gabrion asked for clarification. “Not none of that fake shit?”
“Nigga, what the fuck she just say? Same mama, same damn daddy. She’s my fucking sister.”
“Egypt, don’t worry about it.” Logan looked at her brother and shook her head to quiet him. “It’s cool. I’m sorry about this.”
“Damn, Logan, why you ain’t say something?” Killian asked. “You know this nigga is crazy as fuck.”
“So is her fucking brother. She ain’t have to say shit to that fuck ass boy.”
“Egypt!” Logan grabbed his arm to settle him again.
“Nah, Lo. Don’t be up here letting no muthafucka handle you. You know I ain’t even having that shit, and neither is Auto.”
Yeshi’s simmering blood began to boil again. That was the name of the nigga from that letter he’d read. What the fuck was a nigga who was obviously in jail gon’ do to him? He wasn’t near worried about that shit, but he didn’t appreciate that nigga Egypt standing in front of him talking disrespectfully either.
“Don’t tell him about this, please.”
“Don’t beg his punk ass.” Yeshi scoffed. “Nigga can see about me right now. I’m right here.” Yeshi snatched away from Killian and was grabbed right back.
Gabrion stepped around to help hold him as well.
Egypt looked at Yeshi while running his tongue around the inside of his mouth. His eyes were squinted, and for the first time since pulling up, Yeshi was able to see the resemblance between him and Logan. They looked just alike. Fucking damn, Yeshi!
“You just don’t even fucking know, blood.” Egypt shook his head.
“Yeshi, just stop.” Logan faced him. “Just stop, please! You’re just making everything worse. Haven’t you done enough?” her voice broke, and that nigga Egypt snatched her so hard that Yeshi almost went off in his shit again.
“Nigga, snatch her like that again,” Yeshi threatened.
“Fuck you, blood,” Egypt said before looking at Logan. “I wish you would stand here and cry about this weak ass nigga. Clean that shit up right now.”
Logan nodded while wiping her face and turning her back to Yeshi. It actually calmed him down tremendously to watch her cry. Ate him to death, to be honest.
“Logan, come here, ma.” Yeshi summoned her in a much softer voice. “I’m sorry, come here.”
“Aye, Logan, don’t cry, baby girl,” Killian told her as her body moved subtly from her crying. “Stay your ass over here.” Killian looked at Yeshi then to Gabrion. “Don’t let this nigga move.”
Once he was satisfied with leaving Yeshi, he walked to Logan and her brother. He grabbed Logan and pulled her into a side hug before extending his hand toward her brother. He took it and shook it, even giving a casual one-armed hug. Yeshi watched them stand there talking for a minute before the nigga shot him another evil glare. He mugged the shit out of Yeshi, clearly not fazed by anything that Killian might have been saying.
“We fucked up on this one,” Gabrion told Yeshi.
As bad as Yeshi didn’t want to laugh, he did anyway. Not a hard one, just a light chuckle that further lightened his mood.
“Hell yeah, we did.” His eyes went back to Logan.
She was walking toward him. He watched her until she stopped a few inches away. Her eyes were wet with tears, and her entire face was red. Yeshi wasn’t sure what to say or do, so he waited for her to make the first move.
“I can’t believe you just did this.”
“I ain’t know he was your brother.”
“Does it really matter at this point, Yeshi?” she asked exasperatedly. “If I was out here having a conversation with another man, that would be the least I can do. At least I’m not full out having sex with other men.” She frowned at him, and his chest got tight.
“Don’t say nothing like that to me.”
She scoffed. “You’re unbelievable. You just got caught with your pants down not even a whole week ago, and you really feel like you have some room to pull up on me acting like a fool.” She shook her head and dismissively waved both of her hands. “This ain’t nothing but the devil. I need to get away for a minute.”
Yeshi grabbed her then. “Nah, stay. I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.”
“Get off me. I don’t even want to look at you right now.” Logan pulled away and walked the short distance to the gym before disappearing inside.
Yeshi watched the door waiting for her to come back. He felt like a complete and utter fool right then. All he’d wanted to do since she’d left was see her and make her come back to him. He’d surely blown that with putting hands on her brother. Logan was his love, though, and she made him think irrationa
l shit whenever she was involved. No matter how much he tried to control himself, he just couldn’t. Not where she was concerned. He had to have her.
So, the moment she emerged from the gym door with her windbreaker on and backpack secured on her back, his mind went into overdrive. He couldn’t let her leave him again. He remained calm until she got close enough for him to grab her but kept walking to the white car.
“I’m ready, Egypt.” Her voice was low as she purposely kept her head straight. Assumingly, not to look at him.
“Logan!” Yeshi yelled when she pulled open the passenger door to the whip. “Logan! Don’t leave, wait a minute! Come here.” He was getting desperate, and it was loud and clear in his voice.
“Just give her a minute, man.” Killian was walking toward Yeshi when he broke free of Gabrion and headed for Logan.
When she heard him coming, she hurried to hop in the front seat of the car and closed the door. Of course, her punk ass brother hit the locks for her. He too had just leaned into his car and had cranked up. As if they could really leave, Yeshi went crazy beating on the window of the car and snatching at the handle of the door.
“Logan, please! I’m sorry, Logan. Don’t leave me, ma. Please don’t leave me again,” he half yelled, half whined while pressing his open palms against the window. “I’m going crazy, man, fuuuuck!” His voice got weak.
Killian was there to help him remain on his feet, while Logan sat in the front seat holding her head down. She was covering her ears and rocking back and forth as he screamed through the window.
“Baby, I need you, please.” Yeshi stood up and looked across the car at Egypt, who was still standing outside of his car with one foot in and one out. “Aye, man, my fault. I ain’t mean that shit. I ain’t know.” He tried to plead with Egypt.
Yeshi was so desperate, he’d do anything at the point, as long as it kept his baby with him. “I apologize. Don’t take her though, aight? Just don’t take her.”
“Yesh, come on, bruh. Don’t do this.” Killian pulled at his arms, but Yeshi snatched away and leaned back down to the passenger side window and pressed his face against it. “Baby, please get out. Just stay with me.”
