I turned on the overhead lights and searched the room. It didn’t take long for me to find the cellphone on Max’s bookshelf. I shut it off and then showed it to him.
“Not yours, I take it?”
He shook his head, his face turning bright red. “Sam. I had no idea. Those stupid pledges.”
“Who? I want names.”
He rubbed a hand over his head. “Eric and Seth. That’s my guess.”
“Let’s find them.”
“Now?”
“What do you want to wait for? Christmas? Yes, now.”
The dark hallway was still sprinkled with people making out and/or getting trashed, all in costume. A surreal sight.
“I don’t see them,” he said.
“They were just outside your door. Listening to every word we said.”
“They probably left when they realized we were onto them.” He snuck a glance into the room next to his and asked if they’d seen Eric or Seth. They hadn’t. “I’ll find them later, Sam, but I’d better get you home. If anyone else hears about what happened…”
“Like Dylan?” Imagining what could happen if the pledges told Dylan about Max and me made my stomach churn.
He nodded. “He might still be here. We should be careful.”
“You’re right. It could get ugly fast. Just let Seth and Eric know I have their phone and if they want it back they’d better come and talk to me.”
I glanced around cautiously, worried Dylan might still be around. The party had thinned out. Only the hardcore people remained. I heard a noise behind me and turned just in time to see a flash of red hair as Zach pulled a girl into his room. Little and blonde, I realized in an instant who it was, but neither of them had seen us. Yet.
“Emma?”
Emma turned and looked at me with unseeing eyes. She stumbled as Zach yanked her inside and slammed the door, locking it behind it him.
I ran up to his room with Max following close behind. “I thought he wasn’t going to be here this weekend.”
Fury and panic rose in my chest as I banged on Zach’s door. He didn’t respond.
“He wasn’t supposed to come back until Sunday.” Max tried the door, but it was firmly locked. I heard music playing inside, and knew we didn’t have much time.
“We need to get in there, Max. Now. Find someone who has a key.”
He ran to get help as I stood at the door, screaming. Emma was my responsibility. I’d promised to take care of her, but I’d been making out with Max while Zach drugged her. There was no one else I could blame this time. It was all my fault.
I continued pounding on the door until my fists hurt and my knuckles were raw. Finally, Max came back with Jeff, the fraternity president, and a large ring of keys. Within minutes, we had the door open and turned on the lights.
We barely made it in time. Emma, naked from the waist down, lay spread eagle on the bed with her eyes barely open. Zach had just begun removing his pants. He blinked and scowled when he saw us.
“Get the fuck out of here.”
I ran over to Emma, pulling down her skirt and covering her as best I could. Zach lunged for me, but Max and Jeff were faster. They pinned him against a wall as I tried to wake up Emma.
“What did you give her, Zach?” I asked.
He cocked an arrogant brow at me, but I could tell he was scared. “Nothing. She had a few drinks. That’s all.”
“You’re a liar, and you have witnesses this time,” I said.
His face paled. “I did nothing wrong here. Jeff and Max will support me.”
Jeff shook his head. A senior with blond hair and green eyes, he was the captain of the rowing team and looked sickened by what he’d just seen. “You’ve gone too far.”
Zach stared at him. “What are you talking about?”
Jeff took out his phone. “Max, make sure he doesn’t go anywhere. I’m calling the police. This ends now. It’s over.”
Zach sank to the floor, all the color leaving his face at once. Max and I helped Emma get up. I needed to get her out of this room and away from Zach. She wobbled on her feet, unable to stand, so Max swept her into his arms. I looked around the room wanting to make sure nothing of hers had been left behind, when I saw it. Sitting next to his bed. A little black book. It lay open, and inside I saw a list of carefully recorded names and dates.
Zach still sat on the ground, his back to me, his face in his hands. I grabbed the book and shoved it into my purse. Zach never even noticed.
We waited in the hallway until the police arrived. I sat on the floor with Emma’s head in my lap. She wasn’t fully awake yet, and she groggily snuggled against me like a sleepy kitten. She’d done nothing to deserve this. We’d stopped Zach just in time.
We gave our statements and the police called an ambulance to transport us to the emergency room so Emma could be checked over. Max and Jeff followed us in Jeff’s car. Zach was taken away in handcuffs. I watched him go. And when his eyes met mine, I knew the truth.
I’d won this battle, but it wasn’t over yet. And as relieved as I was, it didn’t change the fact he’d been able to hurt Gabriela and probably a bunch of other girls too. How many times had I been hooking up with Max while Zach raped someone only doors away?
The hospital notified Emma’s parents, and they were on their way, but I refused to leave her side. Max and Jeff stayed long enough to make sure she was okay, and then went back to do damage control at the frat.
Emma snoozed fitfully in the bed next to me. I sat in a stiff, leather chair, shell shocked by all that had happened in such a short span of time. Hours later, just before the sun began to rise in the sky, I pulled the leather book out of my purse and began to read.
The black book I’d stolen from Zach’s room held a treasure trove of information. Fifty-six names. Fifty-six dates. Detailed notes about each and every girl. I bet more than half of those had not been consensual, and the list was only a year old. Some of the names I recognized. When I reached Gabriela’s, a wave of nausea washed over me so strong I thought I might vomit, but I forced myself to hold it together and read the list over and over again. A bit like slicing myself repeatedly with a knife, I welcomed the pain. Nothing compared to what these girls had experienced.
I texted Bethany, to let her know about what had happened and to reassure her both of us were safe. She was probably sleeping, but I knew she’d worry when she woke up. Emma finally stirred as I hung up my phone, her eyelids fluttering open. She turned and relief flooded her face as soon as she saw me.
“Where am I?”
I climbed onto the narrow bed and held her as I told her what happened. I left out as many of the ugly details as possible. The image of her on Zach’s bed was imbedded in my mind forever, but no need for it to be in hers. What I told her was bad enough. She shook in my arms as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“I can’t believe this happened to me. I’m such an idiot.”
“No you aren’t. This isn’t the first time he’s done this.”
She looked up at me. “It happened to Gabriela, too, didn’t it? That’s what the fight was about at the formal.”
I nodded. “And a bunch of other girls, but we aren’t going to allow this to happen again.” I held up the journal and showed it to her. “I have names.”
“What’s that?”
“Proof. He very thoughtfully recorded the name of every single girl he slept with, and included the date, too. It goes back a whole year. Rather thorough of him, if you ask me.”
“Like a hunter. He recorded his kills, his trophies. He’s a monster.” She stared at the book. “How many?” Her voice sounded measured, strained, and very controlled.
I squeezed her hand. “Fifty-six.”
She let out a strangled little noise. “That’s a lot.”
“But your name isn’t in here, Emma. Remember that. It’s not here.”
Emma’s lips narrowed into a hard line. “If it weren’t for you, Sam, it would have been…” Her voice faded for
a minute, then she straightened her shoulders. “Well, I have a little surprise in store for Mr. Zach McGaffrey.”
“What do you mean?”
She gave me a crooked little half smile. As soon as I saw it, I knew two things. First of all, Emma was going to be okay, and, secondly, Zach was in big trouble.
“He picked the wrong girl. He doesn’t know my grandfather is Lawrence Turner.”
I blinked. “As in Lawrence Turner Hall?”
She nodded. “And as in the Turner Library, the Turner Clinic, and the Turner wing of the psych hospital. Zach will regret he ever touched any of us.”
I handed her the journal. “Then I think this belongs to you now.”
She took it, holding it tightly in her arms, almost like snuggling a teddy bear, but the expression on her face was hard. “I’ll take good care of it. Promise.”
She fell asleep again, her little blond head resting on my shoulder as I lay in the narrow bed next to her, never closing my eyes. I couldn’t sleep. Instead, I waited, wide awake, rehashing the events of the night over and over again in my mind. The horrible fight with Dylan. Making out with Max. Seeing Zach pull Emma into his room. The feeling of worry and dread that I might not get to her in time.
I stayed there, keeping guard over Emma and torturing myself with all the new and horrible things now part of my memory, until her parents arrived and I was able to go back to the Theta house.
I went up to my room, collapsed on my bed and sobbed my heart out. Even if I found a way to forgive Dylan for what had happened at the party, he could never forgive me for what I’d done with Max. I didn’t think I could forgive myself either. I’d been half naked with my ex within moments of our break up. There was no going back from what had happened. I just needed to find some way to move forward.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
A soft knock woke me. It was early evening. I’d slept most of the day, but I needed it. I’d been both physically and emotionally exhausted.
I opened the door to see Bethany and Gabriela standing there holding a bag of bagels, which was a good thing. I was starving. They pulled me into a huge hug. “You’re our hero, Sam.”
I shook my head, imagining what I’d been doing minutes before helping Emma. “Not by a long shot.”
We sat on my bed. I took a bagel out of the bag and started munching. Gabriela handed me a tub of cream cheese.
“We saw Emma and her parents. They’re furious. Zach is in some very serious trouble now. He was arrested and fingerprinted and everything. He only stayed in jail one night, but it looks like the trial will take place in late January. Until then, he can’t have contact with you, Emma, or anyone else on that list he made. It turns out little Emma comes from a pretty powerful family. He’s not going to wiggle out of this one.”
I let out a sigh and put my bagel down. “He should have been in trouble a long time ago. He shouldn’t have had the chance to hurt you and so many other girls, Gabs. And it’s not fair you didn’t have any other options. It’s not right he thought he could do that to you and just get away with it.”
She gave me a sad, sweet little smile. “He didn’t, remember? He’ll pay. I’m sure of it. I only wish it had been sooner. Before Emma.”
“Me, too.”
Bethany put an arm across my shoulders. “What happened with you and Dylan last night?”
I blinked away tears. “Oh. That. Well, I guess you figured out we broke up.”
She nodded. “How do you feel about that?”
I gnawed on my lower lip. “I hate to say it, but I’m relieved. I’ve been thinking of breaking up with him for a while, but couldn’t.”
“Because of his issues?” asked Bethany.
“Yes.” I grabbed a bottle of orange juice out of the bag and drank it. “I wanted to end it, but felt…trapped.”
Bethany and Gabriela shared a long look, and then Bethany turned back to me. “You do realize it wasn’t just his problems that held you back, don’t you?”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“He controlled you, Sam,” said Gabriela. “Bethany and I were worried about it. It had become excessive. Abusive, even.”
I stood up and walked over to my window. My favorite kind of fall day. The sun shone brightly, making the brilliant autumn colors of the trees in front of the Theta house seem even more intensely beautiful, but some of the leaves had already begun to fall. They lay on the sidewalk in brown, withered heaps. Staring at them, I felt numb inside.
“It wasn’t about abuse. It was about control. He couldn’t make me love him, no matter how perfectly he behaved. No matter how hard he tried. And I couldn’t make myself love him either, as much as I wanted to, and much as he deserved it. We were stuck, and it hurt.”
Gabriela played with the bottom of her t-shirt. “If you say so.”
I ruffled her hair. “I do. And it’s over now, so it doesn’t matter anyway. I’d hoped to end it peacefully, just to drift apart when I went to Japan. But it didn’t work out that way.”
Max came to see me with Seth and Eric. We met in a private room on the ground floor of the Theta house. They apologized for what they’d done, and Seth begged for his cell phone back. He had sandy hair and freckles on his nose, and apparently his mom would kill him if she ever found out what he’d been doing with his phone.
“I’ll give it to you, but if you recorded Zach sleeping with anyone, you have to share that with the police. Are there any videos of Zach on your phone?”
Eric and Seth exchanged a glance. “Yes,” said Seth. “But we’ve never shown it to anyone.”
“Show it to me.”
Eric, a chubby redhead with acne, winced. “You might not like it…”
“Show it to me anyway.”
The video showed Zach raping Gabriela. He’d left the lights on in his room, so we saw everything. I forced myself to watch, tears streaming down my face. Even though she was obviously incoherent, one thing was very clear. She could barely speak, but she kept repeating the word “no” over and over again. And when Gabriela woke up in the middle of it, she cried and begged him to stop, but he just laughed in her face. It played out worse than I could have imagined. I froze the image when Zach stood up and pulled on his pants. Gabriela lay on the bed, sobbing.
Max looked shaken up, too. Eric and Seth hung their heads in shame. “You’ve never showed this to anyone?” I asked. “Why?”
Seth shrugged. “We only shared the funny videos. There was, uh, nothing funny about this.”
I wanted to slap him upside the head. “She was raped. Did you watch it as it happened?”
Eric shook his head. “We didn’t have live streaming back then.”
I froze, a terrible thought entering my head. “But you do now? Did you live stream what happened between Max and me?”
They nodded, faces turning red. “Yes. It was uploaded accidentally. We erased it as soon as we realized it happened,” said Eric.
“So other people may have seen it?” I nearly doubled over, like I’d been punched in the stomach.
They both looked at Max, who was fuming. “It’s possible,” said Seth. “I guess. Look, we’re really sorry about all of this. We’ll do whatever you want.”
“Go to the police. Show them the video you just showed me, and show them any other videos you have of Zach. They need it as evidence.”
Eric looked down at his toes. “I feel a little guilty about that. Zach is a brother, after all.”
I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. Apparently, Max felt the same way. “He’s not a brother. Not anymore. And neither are the two of you.”
Seth and Eric looked at him in shock. “What do you mean?” asked Seth.
“You’ll never be brothers after what you’ve done. I promise you that. I’m meeting with the other Sigs today, and I’m sure I won’t be the only one to demand you both be kicked out of your pledge class. Immediately. You’re lucky you’re not going to jail, like Zach.”
Eric looked like he
might wet his pants. “What do we do now?”
“We go to the police. Together. But not until you apologize to Sam.”
“And every other girl you recorded. In person. And if you don’t, I’ll find out and call both of your mothers. I mean it.” I glared at them and began tapping my foot on the floor. Max fought to hold back a smile.
“She means it, gentlemen. If I were you, I’d take that threat very seriously. I think it’s now time for a little trip to the police station.”
He stood up and I handed him Seth’s cell phone. He’d take it to the police and do the right thing. I trusted him on this one.
Seth and Eric walked outside, and Max turned to me. “Are you okay?”
I folded my arms across my chest. “I guess so.”
He held out his hand, like he was going to reach out and touch my face, and then seemed to change his mind. “I’m sorry, Sam. About everything. I really do love you, you know that right?”
“I do, Max, and I love you, too, but it’s not enough.”
“Can we be friends? Do you think it’s even possible?”
I nodded. “We were always friends. We just let sex get in the way of a perfectly good friendship.”
He grinned. “Or we let friendship get in the way of perfectly good sex. Better than good, actually, but you’re right. Maybe we both need to move on. It’s just…” He had to look away a moment to compose himself. “You’re awfully hard to give up. You realize that, don’t you?”
I nodded, trying really hard not to cry. “You, too.”
“And maybe I need to stop some other things, too. You aren’t my only bad habit, Sam. I realized the night Emma was almost raped, the way I’ve been living; it’s getting out of hand. The pot, the drinking…everything.”
I gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m glad, Max. It’s time.”
“You’re right. There’s only one thing I’m worried about right now. Dylan. If he knows about what happened between us, if he saw the video, it could be really bad. I never wanted to hurt him. I never wanted to hurt anyone.”
“Neither did I.”
I spent the next few days terrified Dylan might call. When he didn’t, I plunged into my studies, filling my head with the black strokes of the kanji characters to erase the thoughts going through my mind.
Saying Goodbye, Part One (Passports and Promises Book 1) Page 15
