But He’d let it fall.
“Go to the screening, Jack. Go back to your talent.” Her hand still rested against his face, and she slid it down to gently clasp his chin. “And back to God.”
He couldn’t give her what she wanted, couldn’t give God what He wanted, either. “I...can’t,” he gritted out.
She stood, took a couple of steps and stopped. Jack watched, not wanting to look away in case this was the last time he’d ever see Elise Ramsey. She was angry with him, and that was probably a good thing. Then she’d leave. And he’d finally be alone.
She turned toward him, her face filled with disappointment, and some other undefinable emotion that made his heart stutter in his chest. “Let me tell you why I remember that film so clearly. Let me tell you about the two men who’ve most impacted my life.”
Jack had no idea where this was heading, but he had a gut feeling he would not like it.
“Starting with my father.”
Not what he was expecting. “Your father?”
She nodded. “Yes. My father had Asperger’s. I grew up with a daddy that couldn’t look at me when he talked to me. He didn’t understand social cues, which would often embarrass my mother in public and cause the other kids at school to laugh when Dad attended any of our activities. It’s tough, you know, to be the lead in the school’s comedy and more people are laughing at your father in the audience than at you saying your lines.”
He reached for her. “Elise, I’m sorry.”
She took another step back. “No, I’m not finished. The year I turned thirteen, my mother decided it was too much, and she left him to marry a ‘normal’ guy. My stepfather was okay, but he wasn’t my dad. And every time I would go see Dad, and see how alone he was, and how sad, I’d become more and more convinced that one day I would help people like him.”
“Which is why you chose your profession, and work with children with forms of autism.”
She nodded. “I want to help them learn to deal with it as best they can before they become adults. But helping my father wasn’t enough.” She visibly swallowed, and Jack could see that she struggled with whatever she was about to say.
“Elise, whatever it is, you don’t have to tell me.” She’d only talked about one man who had an impact on her life. That meant she had one more to go, and Jack didn’t think he wanted to know about him. Whoever he was.
“Yes, I do.” Her shoulders rose and fell with a deep inhalation, and then she eased it out and continued, “When I was twenty-five, I met Anthony. My husband.”
Only one other time had Jack been so shocked by a single word, and that’d been when he’d received the news that his entire family was dead. “Your...husband.” He’d assumed she wasn’t married, but he should have known a woman like Elise wouldn’t remain single. But she’d kissed him. She’d kissed him. And he’d come to know Elise well enough that he knew that wouldn’t have happened if she were married. “But you aren’t married now.”
She shook her head, looked as though she wanted to say more, but her eyes had begun to fill with tears, and instead of speaking, she looked toward the sky and blinked several times to keep the emotion at bay.
A multitude of questions collided in Jack’s mind, and he had a difficult time deciding what to ask first. But before he could utter a word, Elise gathered her composure and continued.
“He reminded me of my dad, had a hard time looking at me when he talked, a difficult time with social cues, and with life in general. But he was so kind, and he touched my heart. And...”
“And you wanted to help him get better.” Jack didn’t find it difficult to see how Elise would’ve been drawn to a guy like that after what she’d been through with her father.
“Yes,” she admitted, “I wanted to help him get better.”
Jack knew this conversation was too deep, too intimate and raw, exposing too much about this woman who would be out of his life soon. He hadn’t wanted to lose anyone he cared about again, but the more he was around Elise, the more he cared.
Yet he couldn’t stop her from speaking. He wanted to know everything about the woman he...
Jack wouldn’t let himself complete the thought. Couldn’t admit, even inwardly, that he’d let himself feel so much again. The more he felt, the more the sting when it all ended.
And it would end. Tomorrow.
“We didn’t talk about having children the first few years we were married because Anthony said he wanted to make certain that he could handle the responsibility without it shutting him down. That’s the way Anthony handled stress. He’d stop talking, stop working. He’d disconnect from the world, but every time that happened, I was able to bring him back around.” She closed her eyes, then whispered, “Almost every time.”
“What happened, Elise?” Jack asked the question, but he wasn’t certain he wanted to hear the answer.
“He’d lost his job, not because of his disability but because they were downsizing. I had explained that to him, and he seemed okay about it. He’d even gotten a few hits for other positions. And he’d decided he was ready to try and have a baby. He said he’d never felt better.” She sucked in a trembling breath, moved a hand to her mouth.
“Elise, maybe you shouldn’t...”
“No. I want you to understand. I believed him, but he hadn’t told the truth. He was worse than he’d ever been, and he blamed me.”
“He blamed you? Why?”
“Anthony said I deserved a perfect family, one with a husband who could be counted on for stability, not only with his job but also with his mind, and he knew I wanted children, but he was afraid—” she took another ragged breath “—he was afraid they’d be like him. That’s what he wrote on the note he left, that he had to end his life so he didn’t do that to our kids.”
Jack had sensed where the conversation was headed, but hearing her say it didn’t lessen the impact. Her husband had killed himself...and blamed Elise. Jack felt for the guy, but he ached for Elise. And now he knew what had so desperately tormented her soul. “That’s what you were crying about that day, wasn’t it? When I first saw you in the woods?”
“I looked at the calendar that morning and realized—it’d been two years.”
Jack stood, moved toward her and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry, Elise. I’m so sorry.”
She sniffed against his chest. “You got me through that, Jack. You moved me past the pain and helped me to turn to God.”
Jack had lost a key piece of the puzzle along the way. “Elise, what do you mean?”
“That movie, The Journey. I watched it that Christmas and saw Malachi go through all of those struggles, all of that pain, losing everything he cared about, everything he loved, and then God saved him. God let him see that his life wasn’t over, that he had something to live for, to see his daughter again. And I realized that I could make it past my pain...with God’s help.”
She eased out of his embrace, enough that she could look at him directly. Her eyes weren’t wet anymore, just filled with conviction. “Jack, you can do that for people, use the talent that God has given you to remind them that He is there, that He’s always there, and He never leaves.”
Mr. Simon—Jack—I have some terrible news. It’s about your family...
Jack had been holding a long box he’d received from Laney’s favorite florist. A corsage of yellow roses, her favorite, for her to wear to the premiere and tiny bouquets for the twins, daisies, their favorite flower, with baby blue bows. And he had a boutonniere for JJ. He’d asked Jack for one before, saying if he were wearing a tuxedo like his father, he should probably wear one of those little flowers that goes with it too. Jack couldn’t wait to give them the flowers.
He’d been so excited.
Plane went down. I’m so sorry.
He was at the premiere. Ready to gl
orify God with the film that had been sparked by an incident with his son. His...son.
“Jack,” she whispered, leaning back so that he saw her tearstained cheeks, and the quiet desperation in her beautiful brown eyes. “You can’t—” her head shook as she spoke, and new tears sprang free “—you can’t turn your back on God.”
“I didn’t.” He backed away from the woman who had touched his heart so deeply but who pained him now, by asking him to go back when he couldn’t. “He turned his back on me.”
Chapter Ten
Savvy neared Elise’s porch, where Elise had been reading her Bible most of the afternoon. After what had happened with Jack two weeks ago, she found this spot and this book comforted her like nothing else. God also managed, through His word, to remind her that she shouldn’t put her faith in man, but in Him.
She’d put her faith in Jack, another broken man, and he’d torn her apart.
When would she learn?
Savvy, smiling, stepped onto the porch. “Where’s Cody?”
Elise sighed. “Where he always is after school, at Jack’s place, working on the car.”
“Mark took him?”
Elise nodded. “He always does.” Or rather, he had since that last time she’d spoken to Jack, the day before Cody’s IEP. Elise had been thrilled that the school wanted to hire her to remain with Cody for the remainder of the semester, until Christmas, as a resource guide, to help him transition to the new school. He’d transitioned easily and probably didn’t need her anymore, but she hadn’t relayed that information to the powers that be.
She liked being with Cody, even if he ditched her every afternoon in lieu of his other favorite person. She’d explained to him how she wouldn’t be going to Jack’s anymore, and Jack must have explained the same thing, because Cody hadn’t argued. Which was good, she supposed, though she missed him when he was gone. And she missed Jack, more than she’d ever admit.
Elise wondered whether Cody would want to spend tomorrow, Thanksgiving, with his mentor, or whether he’d stay here for the holiday and celebrate with Elise and his friends.
She suspected he’d head down the trail.
“You’ve got a package,” Savvy said, still grinning. “It’s addressed to you and Cody, but I’m sure you can go ahead and open it.”
“Me and Cody?” Elise marked her place in the Bible and placed it on the small table beside her rocker.
Savvy plopped down in the other rocker and handed Elise the large manila envelope. Then she clapped her hands together beneath her chin. “Come on, I want to see what you think.”
“You know what this is?”
“Let’s just say I have a good idea.” She leaned forward in her rocker. “Go on, pull the tab and open it.”
Elise spotted the return address. “Damascus Entertainment?” Jack’s old studio. Why would she be getting mail from them? Not only her, but Cody too.
“Savvy, what’s this about?”
“It’s okay. I know about Jack. I know who he is, and I know that’s where he worked.”
She knew? “How? When?”
“Vincent Farraday. He called and told me what was going on. It’s so sad, what happened to Jack. But Vincent thinks this premiere will help.”
“Did he say Jack was going?” A glimmer of hope pulsed through Elise as she pulled the long tab down the edge.
“No, he said Jack wasn’t going, but then said he hadn’t given up on him, something like that.” Savvy pointed to the envelope. “And he needed to talk to me about your surprise.”
Just the mention of a surprise reminded her of the day Jack had the Mustang delivered, and that moment when Cody spoke to them for the first time.
She smiled. He’d hardly stopped talking since.
“Elise, you’re driving me crazy. Open it already.”
She withdrew the contents and gawked at the folded cardboard—no, surely not. “Are these plane tickets?”
Savvy clapped her hands again. “Of course they are, silly! I had to call the State to get it approved for Cody to go, but they’ve agreed, because, I mean, it’s such an incredible opportunity.”
“To go where?” Elise looked at the flight information and raised her eyebrows. “LA?” Then she spotted the date. “In two days?”
Savvy nodded. “And your flight leaves pretty early Friday morning, so y’all should pack tomorrow, either before or after our Thanksgiving lunch. It’ll beat watching football for sure.”
“Los Angeles,” Elise whispered, still dumbfounded by the tickets in her hand.
“Brodie said he can drive you to the airport in Stockville. I think the boarding pass was more for the appeal of the package than an actual necessity. You’re going on a private plane!”
“How do you know all of this? And we’re going to LA because...” She thought she knew, but she still wanted to hear it.
“Open the other envelope.” Savvy pointed to a smaller red one that Elise had overlooked.
Sure enough, two tickets to the red-carpet screening of Finding Home were inside.
Savvy clapped her hands again. “So you’re all set.”
Elise had called Vincent after her meeting with Jack and told him that he hadn’t had a change of heart. She’d apologized for not being able to help. She hadn’t explained to Jack’s agent that she’d never been able to help any man in her life and that she shouldn’t have gotten so close. Shouldn’t have thought that if she cared enough, he would listen. “Why would Vincent send us?”
“Apparently you made a good impression. And don’t knock it. You’re going to LA for a screening of the movie the whole world wants to see. Cody has a suit. Do you have a dress?”
“Not the kind I’d wear to this. Vincent didn’t say anything about Jack going to the screening?”
“No, and we haven’t got time to discuss it now. You have to pack, and we have to go shopping. You can’t hit a red-carpet screening without a killer dress.”
Chapter Eleven
Snow. Merely two weeks ago, Jack had filmed the Willow’s Haven kids outdoors. But today had a chill in the air and a dusting of pristine white snow. Granted, it wasn’t anything like the thick, white blankets he’d see if he lived in the northern states, but this was North Alabama, and even a light dusting was a real treat, especially for the kids.
Cody would love it.
He wondered what all the boy had done yesterday to celebrate the holiday. Thanks to the leftover fried Cajun turkey in Jack’s refrigerator, he had at least some semblance that yesterday had been Thanksgiving. The trucking company that hauled the car had sent it as a thank-you for his business. A turkey. Jack had heard of people sending honey-baked hams for gifts, but never a turkey. And a big bird too, enough for a full-blown Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings.
Except Jack had dined alone.
Cody had invited him to Willow’s Haven for the special meal, and Jack had nearly accepted the invitation, especially when Cody reminded him that it would be his first Thanksgiving without his family. But in the end, Jack hadn’t been willing to do that to Elise. He was certain she didn’t want him invading her holiday. Cody had told him she was staying at Willow’s Haven until after Christmas to help him transition at the school, but he’d also said that Elise said he could come with Mark to see Jack from now on and that she wanted to stay at her cabin.
Cody had then asked him why she didn’t want to come.
And Jack hadn’t been able to give the kid an answer.
Because he was stupid? Because he was scared? Because he wouldn’t forgive God?
Or all of the above.
Jack knew, but the pain in his heart wouldn’t allow him to get over the past and move on to the future. Was it really because he couldn’t forgive God for what He’d done? Or was it more because he knew he
couldn’t face the possibility of losing someone he loved again?
Or, more likely, was it both?
He glanced at the sole envelope on his kitchen counter. Had Vincent honestly believed sending him a plane ticket and a VIP ticket to the screening would get him to go? As if Jack needed a ticket to his own screening. He shook his head but couldn’t hold back a smile. He had to hand it to the guy; he didn’t give up. Which was one of the things Jack had always liked about the man.
Truthfully, he missed being around Vincent. Missed all of his director’s team, in fact. And today, because he wouldn’t show, they’d probably lose out on a year’s pay. Or more.
An urge picked at his brain, that impulse to ask for help from the only One who could grant peace.
But He had let Jack down. More than let down, He had destroyed Jack’s heart.
Still, for some reason, Jack felt a desire to talk to Him like he hadn’t experienced in two years. And Jack wanted to be there for Vincent and his team. But how could he? He’d also wanted to be with Cody and Elise during the holiday meant for thankfulness, because he was so very thankful for the time he’d had with them.
But he’d ruined that chance too.
His chest tightened, throat grew thick. What had he done?
He missed them—both of them. Cody and Elise. And he needed them.
More than he ever thought possible.
The phone rang for the first time in days. Still reeling from the realization of how badly he’d messed things up, Jack glanced at the display. Vincent hadn’t called after mailing the ticket, but he was calling now.
Jack didn’t bother with hello. “I didn’t get on the plane.”
“I heard from the pilot an hour ago. I knew you didn’t.” Vincent didn’t sound surprised, or disappointed.
“Vincent, I need to call you back later. I’ve got somewhere I need to go.” He needed to get to Willow’s Haven.
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