Tripp’s smile turned into a big grin. Oh boy, that grin did funny things to the butterflies that lived in my belly. He cocked his head to the side, and said, “Don’t you worry, baby. I’ve got everything taken care of. Because I want today to be a surprise, I asked your mom to pack you a bag, and it’s already in the truck. You’ll need several different things before we get home, but you don’t need to be so anxious. I got this babe. I am going to take care of your every need today. Promise.”
“Okay. I need to eat and then go get ready so that we can leave. Jeans and a sweatshirt okay for the ride over?”
“Sounds good, baby. You just stay there at the table. I’ll fix your coffee and bring you a plate of food. We’ll eat breakfast together, and then we can both go finish getting ready.”
True to his word, Tripp brought me a plate that overflowed with hot, fluffy scrambled eggs, crisp bacon, and warm, buttery grits with cheddar cheese sprinkled on top. Yum, just how I liked it. When he set that down in front of me, he went back to the counter and poured us both a cup of coffee. He always drank his black, but he knew that I liked a dash of sugar and a healthy dose of half-and-half in mine. When he brought the coffee back to the table, he gave me another kiss, and then sat down next to me.
I gave him a confused look. He had only fixed one plate of food. Didn’t he just say that we were going to eat breakfast together? I knew he was excited about today, but really, Tripp forget his food? No way would that happen.
Just as I opened my mouth to say something, Tripp picked up the fork, scooped up a generous bite of scrambled eggs, and lifted the fork to my mouth.
Whatever I was going to say disappeared, and suddenly laughter came out of my mouth. “Tripp, what in the heck are you doing? Are you going to feed me, too? I mean, seriously?” Oh my gosh, it was like something you’d see on TV. This suave, debonair gentleman feeding bites of caviar spread on toast points to the svelte, fashion model who sat at his feet. Really? Who does stuff like that?
“Well, baby, I told you I was going to take care of you today.” There was that crooked grin again, and this time, the dimple on his left cheek made an appearance.
I just couldn’t resist it. I leaned over and placed a kiss on his dimple. It was really an impulsive move for me. I had never initiated anything between us. Even though I had a bubbly personality, I was actually a little shy and introverted, and was more than content to let Tripp lead the way. Being forward just didn’t mesh with my character.
Tripp’s eyes expressed his surprise at my kiss. Before I had a chance to back away, he dug his hand into my hair, moved my lips to his, and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. It seemed like both of us were neglecting our breakfast for more important things.
Ever since that horrible day last month, Tripp had become more demonstrative in his feelings for me, no matter who was around to see. He held me closer to him, kissed me more thoroughly, and very rarely was there a time that he didn’t have either his arms around me or my hand in his. It seemed as if he not only wanted to touch me, but also needed to touch me. I never once felt that his behavior crossed over to the inappropriate, and obviously, my parents agreed with me. Having witnessed his affection towards me on more than one occasion, they had yet to make one single remark about it. I was so glad they didn’t, because I really loved the way that Tripp made me feel precious and cherished, almost as if I were a valuable jewel.
A chuckle behind us broke the two of us apart, but Tripp didn’t let me get too far. He leaned his forehead to mine, and looking deep in my eyes, in a low whisper said, “I love you, Wrynn, and I will love you ‘til my dying day.”
“I love you, too, so much,” I whispered back. “Now feed me my breakfast before it gets cold.” I gave him a wink and a cheeky grin, and then pulled away from him.
I looked up to see Liam standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Different emotions were playing across his face, and I couldn’t quite figure out what was going on in his head. I held my hand up to him, and wiggled my fingers in a come-hither motion. He stepped up to the table, grabbed the ends of my fingers in one hand, and proceeded to give me a noogie with the other.
After smacking Tripp on the back of the head, Liam sat down with us at the table. “I sure do wish I was going with you today, T. I’m kinda scared for you, but at the same time, I feel sorta left out. This is a big step that you’re taking. Are you sure it’s the right thing to do?”
I just wanted to scream at Liam. Here I sat, struggling to hold it together in front of Tripp, and Bub had to bring it up all over again. Tripp and I had done such a good job this morning, avoiding the topic of his signing up. But, in a weird sort of way, I actually understood how Liam felt.
“Liam, man, I’m sure. We really don’t need to rehash this again.” Tripp pulled my head to his shoulder. “Wrynn and I are just trying to spend some time together today. If you want to talk about it later, let’s do that in private.”
Liam looked at me with a small smile on his face and taking hold of my hand, he gave it a small squeeze. “Sorry, Sis. I wasn’t thinking. I know how hard this has been for me. Just can’t imagine how you’re feeling, but you know that we’ll get through this together.” With those words, he let go of my hand, stood up, and left the kitchen.
“If it’s all the same to you, babe, I think we should just get ready and go ahead and leave. Can you be finished in thirty?” Tripp was already standing up from the table.
I craned my neck to look up at him. He was the best-looking thing I had ever laid eyes on, and he was mine. I knew without a doubt that God had placed him in my life, because he completed me. Where I was weak, he had the strength to carry me. When I was broken, he had the love to mend my shattered pieces. Surely, I could handle being separated from him for just a little while, as long as I knew he was coming back to me in the end. I truly could enjoy this day. I knew that not one single day was guaranteed, but I would enjoy each that we were given. I couldn’t help but smile at the love that filled his eyes. “Yeah, babe. That sounds good. I’ll see you back here in thirty.”
One nice thing about Highlands in the autumn was the weather was almost always sunny and brisk. The hot weather of summer was gone, and thank goodness, the bone chilling cold of winter was still a few weeks away. As we headed down Highway 64, I couldn’t help but notice that most of the leaves had already fallen from the trees. The people who traveled to our area to see the colorful fall foliage were disappointed when the trees were finally barren. To the locals though, it was the best time of the year to see all the beautiful waterfalls that were otherwise hidden behind the leaves. In a few more weeks, the temperatures would be cold enough that most of the falls would freeze over, but today, the sun glistened down on the water and made the mist look as if someone had scattered glitter in the air. Though the water would be cold, I hoped that one day soon the boys and I would be able to go on a waterfall hike.
With that in mind, I turned sideways in the seat to talk with Tripp. “We really need to get one more hike in this year before the cascades freeze. I was thinking we could head down to DuPont State Forest. It’s been a while since we hiked those falls.”
Back in 1992, our small mountain area was in an uproar because a handsome young man named Daniel Day Lewis came to DuPont State Forest with a film crew right behind him. They were there to film a little movie called The Last of the Mohicans. Tourists came far and wide to get close to the movie stars. After a little while, the uproar died down, but the damage had been done. Our beautiful waterfalls and mountains had been captured on screen, and the diehard fanatics would make annual pilgrimages to the area to worship the beauty the land provided.
Tripp shot me a teasing grin before returning his eyes to the road. “You just wanted to wait until now because all the spiders have finally gone to ground. But yeah, we can do that. I thought we might go see Nana and Papa this weekend, but if we wait for the hike, one week can really make a difference in the temperature. Remind me to check the weather when we g
et home.”
“I know it’s going to be too cold to camp, so maybe next year…” I stop dead in the middle of my sentence. Oh my gosh, Tripp won’t be here next year. My breathing slowed, turning to sharp gasps. I tried to draw a deep breath, but it just wouldn’t happen. I shook my head, feeling the anxiety gnawing from the inside. He won’t be here. He won’t be here. Dear God, what will I do? I was stupid to think I could do this. Breathe. Breathe. By now, every effort to take air in only produced a high-pitched wheeze. My lungs were turning against me. The weight on my chest made me think an elephant was sitting on me. My heart had jumped to my throat. Black dots were starting to swim before my eyes. No, please, not a panic attack. My peripheral vision started to blur and a cold sweat broke out along my body.
I felt a sharp sting on my cheek, heard my name spoken, and then arms grabbed me up, moving me from the seat to a warm cushion. You’ve got to breathe. You can do this. Take. A. Breath. It was no use. The blackness was moving faster than I could escape it.
Warms hands rubbed circles on my back, and I hoped the soothing touch would help me calm down enough to draw air into my lungs. “Wrynn baby, you’ve got to breathe.”
I heard the voice. It was rushed and laced with panic. “Come on babe. Don’t do this to me again. You’ve got to breathe.”
I just needed to think about something else. Waterfalls. Hiking. Camping. The lake. Oh no, Tripp won’t be at the lake next summer. It didn’t work. I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t lead me right back to him. I was finished. I didn’t want to fight it any more. It wouldn’t hurt when the darkness pulled me under. So, I gave up.
Tripp singing “Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Roses” by Kathy Mattea in his off-key pitch was the first thing that I heard when my brain decided to reenter the land of the living. The volume on the radio was down low enough that I could hear the truck tires as they moved over the top of the asphalt. The rough fabric pillow my head was resting on would be none other than Tripp’s jean clad thigh. Since I still felt a little woozy, I just kept my head right where it was. Tripp was gently running his fingers through my hair and lightly scratching my scalp as he sang to me. Hands down, that was one of my favorite things ever, and he knew that it would help calm me down.
“Baby, you awake?” The concern in his voice, oh, it just broke my heart to hear it. I had done this to him before. The last panic attack that caused me to pass out was when he and Liam played that stupid spider prank on me at Merlefest. He had walked on eggshells around me for days after that, and Lord, that boy apologized a hundred times. Let me tell you, that was a good week for chocolate and me. He left Hershey’s Kisses and Reese’s Cups all over the house.
“Yeah, I think so, at least. How long was I out?”
“About twenty minutes. I pulled over and tried to rouse you, but it was like trying to wake the dead. When you’ve done this before, rest always made you feel better, so I just helped you lay down across the seat. I know we’ve been through this before, but I gotta tell ya baby, it still scared ten years off my life. Only you would black out on a stretch of deserted highway. We’ll be to Sylva in another five minutes or so. Do you want to stop and grab a cup of coffee before we head to the recruiting station?” I was so blessed to have found someone who not only loved me, but also knew me well enough to know exactly what I needed. I knew not everyone was that fortunate.
“That sounds great. I could use the restroom, and I’m sure that I need to freshen up a little.” As I tried to sit up, Tripp’s hand came down on my head, holding me in place.
“Baby, you just stay right where you are. We will be there in minutes, and I’d rather not have you passing out on me again, if you don’t mind.”
With a sigh, I settled back down to rest a little more. “Tripp, I just want you to know that I am so very proud of what you’re doing today.” I gave a little snort of laughter. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I really am. I don’t want you to go away, but I completely understand your reasons. Please try to remember this over the next several months because I really don’t like hurting you, but I know that I am. I’ll try harder, I promise.”
Tripp chuckled. “If you only knew the number of times I’ve questioned my decision, the number of times I’ve had to hold back tears. I can’t have everyone thinking that I’m a wuss, or all the guys would be hitting on my girl when I’m gone for Basic Training. Thankfully, when I leave, Liam will be here to keep an eye on you. ”
I giggled. Tripp, a wuss? He had to be kidding. The longer I thought about it, the harder I laughed. Imagining my Tripp as anything other than the tall, muscular hunk that he was made my laughter turn to snorts. “Are you … freaking … serious? A wuss? You? I’m not … sure … that is … possible.”
“Well, haven’t you ever heard that real men don’t cry? Lord knows I’ve heard Mother say that enough times in my life. If I am going to cry, I want it to be for a good reason.”
Hmm … that’s interesting. “So, you don’t think leaving me is a good enough reason to cry? Why don’t you tell me what you think qualifies as a good reason, then.” I couldn’t wait to hear what he told me. And so help me, if he said when Old Yeller died, I would open that truck door and jump out, after beating him in the head.
“I’m really not that complicated. I reckon I’ll cry when you say ‘yes’, and then again when you say ‘I do’. Then, later on down the road, it’s pretty much a guarantee that I’ll cry when our kids are born. Those sort of things would bring this boy to his knees, cause those things are what’s really important.”
Sigh. Great answers. My head still rested on his leg, and I wondered if he could see that my mouth had dropped open. I blinked several times to try to keep the tears from spilling over. I had shed enough today to last me for a while, at least I hoped so. These roller coaster emotions were getting the best of me, but with an answer like that? I melted like a stick of butter that someone had left too close to a hot stove. My heart thumped in my chest, and when I closed my eyes, I could picture in my head the very things that would make him cry. The tears he saw were happy, not mournful, but that shouldn’t surprise me. Tripp had always looked for the good and cheerful and avoided the sad.
“Babe, you still there? You’ve gone awful quiet on me. The diner’s right here. Let’s go grab that coffee before we head over.” He pulled into the parking lot of a cute little Sixties-style diner. After helping me sit back up, he pulled me in for a tight hug and whispered, “You’ll see babe. This isn’t the beginning of the end. It’s just the beginning. I plan to shed tears with you, but only for the good things. Now come on.”
Ever the gentleman, when Tripp exited the truck, he held out his hand to help me step down. As my feet touched the ground, he pulled me to him. He just held me against him with his arms wrapped tightly around me, almost as if he was trying to share his strength with me.
I welcomed the feeling of happiness that filled my heart, and hoped that it would stay for a while. I wished that I could be half as strong for him as he was for me. I felt pretty confident that the next few hours were going to really test me.
Chapter Nine
Present
After that catastrophic meeting with Mother Tidwell, I call Jennifer and Wendy to find out where we are meeting. I’m not quite sure that I am up for friendly chatter, but at the same time, I’m not so sure that I should be at home by myself. As I pass Mr. Jasper at the guardhouse, I wave goodbye, and head back towards downtown.
We decided that our first stop will be Buck’s for coffee and cheddar biscuits. A girl needs carbs to give her the fuel to shop. As I step in the door, the smell of roasting coffee beans fills the air. If I could breathe my caffeine, I would stand in Buck’s all day. The fragrance draws me to the counter to place our order for three vanilla lattes, two cheddar biscuits, and one cinnamon scone. While I am waiting, Wendy and Jenn come through the door. The sight of them erases any lingering anger and hurt left behind by Mother Tidwell.
You would think a b
unch of high school girls had invaded the coffee shop. I immediately head over towards them as they make a beeline straight to me. We are all hugs and giggles, and anyone looking on would think it had been a year and not just a week since we’ve seen each other. Over all our noise, I hear our order called, so the girls and I grab our treats and then find a few cozy chairs to sit back and relax.
Settling back into the plump cushions, I realize how glad I am that I didn’t go home to lick my wounds in private. It has been too long since I took the time to relax and enjoy spending time with my friends outside of my house. Wendy and Jenn are always more than willing to come and help me catch up on things, it’s just so much better when I don’t have to worry about laundry, cleaning, and cooking while we’re together.
Wendy and Jenn look at each other, and then turn to stare me down. Wendy breaks the ice and asks, “So, what happened with the Wicked Witch today, and don’t try to blow us off. You know we won’t let it rest until you get it all out of your system.”
I am trying not to obsess or freak out over the encounter with Mother Tidwell, and then it dawns on me. “Oh my gosh, I don’t have to call her Mother Tidwell anymore.” A giddy feeling comes over me, and right here in the middle of Buck’s, I lose it. It starts as a giggle, but before too long, I am outright laughing. I grab a napkin from the tray and wipe the tears as they fall from my eyes. For so long, I have lived under her demands and hatred. The pressure kept building, but now I feel like someone has released the valve. For the first time in years, my shoulders aren’t tight with tension; my temples aren’t pounding in frustration.
Searching for Tomorrow (Tomorrows) Page 9
