She needed to get a grip and stop reading things into this that didn’t exist. Peter was a man, and like every other man, all he really wanted was sex. He might have a strong sense of professionalism that kept him from taking her during a photo shoot, but now he’d asked her out. Her idea that he would refrain from sex again was absurd. Of course he’d take her home with him. Then they’d have sex and he’d prove himself to be just like every other man on the planet.
Her certainty was less than 100%, but her sense of control grew to its usual levels. Her future, past this one night, didn’t include Peter. She did her job of baiting him, and tonight, he’d take her as a reward for his patience. Once she finished with Peter, if she could tear away from his arms, she would hurry back to the hotel and make amends with her sisters in the morning.
That made sense. No man would refrain from sleeping with her twice in one day. It simply wouldn’t happen. The image of him thrusting into her reawakened the desire she’d put on hold for the last couple hours. She wanted him for his body. As long as she kept reminding herself of that fact, then nothing about his warm smile, the jokes he told, or how utterly charmed she felt in his company, would distract her with ridiculous thoughts that he actually cared about her.
***
Peter hung up the phone and folded the paper containing the dinner reservation information. He didn’t have an exact idea of where her intended to take her for their tour of the city. But he knew exactly where he wanted to have dinner. Sometimes he wandered the streets for hours, watching, photographing, and taking in all the smells, sounds, and sights the city offered in the evening. He’d take one of those walks with Alicia, but he wanted to end the night with food, drink, and dancing; so he made dinner reservations.
The door next to him opened and Alicia walked into the gallery. The sight of her dressed took his breath away as much as it had when she had no clothes on. Now she had pulled her hair back into a ponytail, and put on some additional makeup. She didn’t need anything to improve her looks. After seeing her for hours, he knew that she had that special something. If she had decided to go into acting or modeling, she’d be a star. Certainly she had the temperament to be in the public eye, if her assertiveness indicated anything. Shy wasn’t a word that he would ever use to describe Alicia.
He got up from his chair and moved next to her. “You look amazing,” he said, taking her hand and giving it a kiss. Her skin sent waves of desire shooting through him and he almost regretting touching her, lest it shake his determination to not pull her even closer. But then he saw her cheeks flush and pushed the regret aside.
She took her hand from his. “So have you decided where we’re going?” she asked.
“Dinner and dancing in a few hours,” he said. “But until then I hope you wore your walking shoes.” He put his hand on the small of her back and headed for the door. She stiffened momentarily before relaxing into his hand. He locked up the studio as they left.
The sun hadn’t set yet, but it hung low in the sky, part of it dropping below the horizon. In another half-hour it would be dark and the more nocturnal citizens of New Orleans would spring to life.
“There are so many things to see in the city. Sometimes I can wander the streets for hours without any idea where I’ll end up. I just like to see what people do,” he said.
“Do you usually have your camera with you?” she asked.
“Sometimes. But if I photograph people on the street I usually just keep the picture for myself. I don’t typically need a signed release if I take a picture of things going on in public, but I prefer to have one. That’s one of the reasons I focus on selling the wildlife and landscape photos. Mountains don’t sue for copyright infringement.”
Alicia laughed, differently now than she did earlier. They coy undertones of the earlier laugh were gone. Did that signal a deeper sincerity or was it a calculated change in another attempt to get him to have sex with her? He liked her. Not because of her body, but just because.
Besides reminding him of his past self, she had an attraction the he couldn’t explain. He hoped that she had given up on seducing him. At least for now. He still wanted her, but he wanted to show her that he had come to care about her. That if they eventually did have sex, that it meant something more than just another physical coupling.
He took her hand back into his as they walked down the street and her fingers slipped naturally around his. Her fingers felt soft, delicate. He picked up the pace, their hands swinging between them.
“More street performers will start coming out when the sun sets,” he said as they headed down the street. “I hope you like live music.”
Her hand tightened its grip around his, and his heart skipped a beat. If she let him, without any pretense of anything more physical, he’d make this the best night she had in a long time.
Chapter 27
Alicia moaned softly with the first sip. Then the gumbo’s burn kicked in and she scrambled to grab her water.
“It’s one of the best gumbos in the city,” he said. “But you need to keep a lot of water around to deal with the heat.” His voiced dropped slightly on the last word and Alicia’s insides heated up at the potential it held. Peter had been true to his promise. The last few hours had been the most pleasant she’d had in years.
Peter would strip her clothes off before the night finished, but he also knew how to make a girl comfortable. That had to be his game plan. On one level Peter seemed uninterested in her, then the next moment his voice, eyes, or touch of his hands would be filled with desire so obvious that in her more innocent years, she would have winced.
Her foot bumped into her shoes that she had taken off and placed under the table. She kicked them farther aside and reached down to rub one foot. Technically her shoes were marketed for walking long distances, but she didn’t believe it. Her feet got worked out often enough with her jogging, but she wore proper shoes. Not the more decorative footwear she brought with her to visit Peter.
Her discomfort didn’t go unnoticed.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have been more thoughtful about your shoes not being the best for walking.”
She waved his concern away. “Don’t. If I had been worried about my shoes I would have said something. My excitement to get our date going got the better of me.”
Date. The word hung in the air between them. Neither of them had uttered the word previously. He wanted to take her out, so she assumed it was a date, and to her a date simply meant a prelude to sex. What did it mean to him?
She shook her head and took another sip of gumbo. Her thoughts around him sometimes became so chaotic that she didn’t even recognize herself. Of course a date also meant sex to him. After she had whetted his appetite for her body earlier at the studio, what else could it possibly mean? He’d make his move after dinner. Before saying goodbye, he’d ask her to come home with him. Disappointment welled up in her chest, but she shoved it aside instantly. Disappointment had no place inside her tonight. She wanted to have sex with him. Any disappointment would come from being wrong and having him reject her sexually again.
Now that dinner had started and the run-up to tonight’s inevitable bedroom encounter begun, it was time for her to slowly turn up the heat.
She stirred her spoon and casually looked around the restaurant. A live jazz band played on a stage. A small dance floor stood empty, but the volume of alcohol on individual tables had barely begun to flow. As soon as the inhibitions fell enough, dancers would make their way to the floor. Peter continued eating his gumbo, sneaking glances at her in-between bites.
“So what made you start photographing women? Did that come before or after the wildlife photography?” she asked.
Peter looked away, and then wiped his face with his napkin.
Ahhh.
Something about how he started, embarrassed him. Her curiosity grew. She needed to lure it out of him without making him evasive. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t like,” she said while l
ooked off to some of the other guests, pretending not to care.
Peter took another drink and cleared his throat. “No, it’s nothing private. Some of it’s on my website bio page,” he said. “I just don’t get asked about it often.”
He pushed his drink around on the table before speaking again. Alicia wondered what nerve she had hit to make him react this way about his photography business.
“The outdoor photography started when I was a teen. But five years ago, during a trip to Europe, I met a woman named Jackie. I started photographing women because of her…,” he said, only meeting Alicia’s eyes at the very end. “She had a soaring spirit, and just took me along for the ride.”
He held something back. Something else that he didn’t want to discuss. She had assumed that he didn’t sleep with her at the studio because of his professionalism. But he wouldn’t be the first man to hesitate on the brink of cheating for the first time. She let herself take a few deep breaths to get rid of her anxiousness before she asked her next question, “Is she your girlfriend?” she asked, and then went straight to the point. “Or wife?”
Peter’s eyes snapped to her the instant the question left her mouth. Her stomach twisted and she scrunched her napkin into a ball on her lap while she waited for the answer. Now that she asked, it couldn’t be avoided.
“We were married,” he said. “But she’s gone now.”
Alicia let out a breath and her grip loosened on the napkin, letting it fall to the floor. Her relief overwhelmed her. She didn’t understand if came from her own refusal to sleep with married men or just from the fact that he wasn’t married. Or that he hadn’t tried to lie to her. He confused her emotions and she hated that as much as she loved being around him. Peter regarded her with an even greater intensity, but his eyes didn’t hold lust. He appeared more questioning, like he only wanted to know what she thought. She needed to know more, to be sure if he was available. Was he fully divorced or just separated? Unless he and his wife had completely split, the turmoil he put her heart in was so great that she couldn’t bring herself to go any further with him.
“When was the divorce final?” she asked.
“She isn’t that kind of gone. It was more unexpected…,” he said, his voice slightly cracking. “…and permanent.”
His eyes went soft for a moment, but he pulled himself back together. She took a second to understand what he had said. Then guilt flooded her and she reached out to take his hand across the table. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t know. I just…,” she let the words trail off, not really knowing what she wanted to say. What could she say? That she expected him to admit to being a wannabe cheater? She didn’t want to say anything to hurt him. Seeing him nearly break crushed her heart. How he could affect her so deeply in such a short time made no sense, but she understood his reluctance to have sex more clearly. “I can get a cab back to the hotel if you’re not up to staying out,” she said. After trying to seduce him all afternoon, her chivalry surprised her, but it was the only right thing to do, and she knew it.
He gripped her hand tighter and smiled. Her own heart warmed. “Thank you,” he said. “But you weren’t driving the other car, and I’ve been dating for over a year now. I don’t want you to go.” Then he got up from his chair, moved around to her side, and pulled her up to him. Before she could react, his lips were on hers. Warm, yet soft, she wrapped her arms around his neck and felt herself sway slightly. His arms wrapped around her waist and held her steady.
Someone cleared their throat next to them, and they broke apart, quickly remembering where they were. Their waiter stood by the table, entrees in hand. “Your dinners,” he said, completely ignoring their very public kiss. A few nearby guests looked on disapprovingly, but she didn’t pay any attention to them. They both sat back down while the waiter placed their orders on the table. Then he refilled both their waters and left them to enjoy their meal.
Except that food was the last thing on her mind. Her thoughts and emotions were in complete turmoil. She wanted sex with him. But then she had decided to put his needs, a man’s needs, above her own and leave him. Then he kissed her. The last time she had swooned over a man’s kiss she had ultimately been hurt, and she had vowed never to allow it to happen again. But with Peter, she didn’t mind. Her heart told her that he would never hurt her like she had been before. However, her head warned her that the kiss didn’t mean true affection from Peter, but instead meant that he had sex on his mind and the kiss was only a ploy. To what? It made no sense for Peter to become calculating in their relationship. She had already offered her body up. What more could he possibly want from her besides sex? Nothing had made any sense since she had met him, yet she continued wanting to spend time with him. In all the years since she had sworn off men as anything except being her boy toys, her heart and head had never been in such disagreement.
The rational part of her told her to get up and leave. To run from this dangerous man and never look back. Then she could forget about him and never need to worry about her heart not following the plan to never develop feelings for men. She fidgeted her chair, and glanced at the exit. If she intended to leave, she needed to do it quick and ignore any protests that Peter might call out.
Peter. She wanted to take a last look at him. Her alarms went off too late to stop and just leave. His eyes watched her. They were filled with desire, but not the intense lust she had seen at the studio. Instead they were warm, inviting. Then he smiled and her insides melted. She shifted her weight and rested back in her chair.
He gestured at her meal. “I hope you enjoy it. It’s a house specialty,” he said. “Then we dance.” The heat in his eyes rose ten-fold; then his smile turned into a grin and she knew that whatever power this man had, she was lost.
Chapter 28
Alicia laughed. Peter twirled her around the dance floor, the details of her face blurring in the motion until she lost her balance and fell back into his arms. She rested her weight against his body. He could feel the rise and fall of her chest against his shirt. A small cooing sound rose from her throat over the beat of the music.
In the two years since he’d been left alone, and the year since he had begun dating, he hadn’t taken any other woman out dancing. He’d gone out to dinners, a few riverboat cruises, park visits, and even a wine tasting. But dancing had an intimacy that those other activities could never match. Each activity had its own charm, but looking back over the year, he realized that in every case, with the women he had gone out with, he had avoided getting to close to them. His celibacy vow was an obvious way to keeping distant, but where he took his dates mattered. The things he did with other women he could do without ever really touching them. Sometimes he would hold hands, or put his arm around a waist, even kiss, but the bulk of those dates he spent physically apart.
Now he was with Alicia. Holding her so close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist, and leading her around the floor felt natural. He wanted to be near her, watch her laugh, and make her happy. He knew where Alicia stood regarding her desire for sex, yet she had stopped trying to purse it; at least for now. Most women, when they discovered that he didn’t intend to start a physical relationship with them, ditched him immediately. The women he attracted didn’t do celibacy. It created clashes with those women that he couldn’t change, unless he changed who he was and what he did.
Alicia knew the full details of his occupation and had dived into it a willing participant. Then he had opened up and she saw him in a vulnerable moment. Instead of taking advantage of the situation to get what she wanted, she had selflessly offered to end the evening early. It showed a level of compassion inside her that he didn’t think she had. In the moment that she had made her offer to leave, a bit of pain showed through her eyes. Someone had hurt her. He didn’t know anything else, but it was there inside her.
Now he wanted to chip away at her own wall, until she realized that the two of them shared something special, and it was worth it to keep going past this we
ekend. Did he have any chance of convincing her that their relationship was worth taking a risk on? Where would they live?
He was getting ahead of himself. They had only met this morning and he already had one of them moving to live with the other. She may have felt for his loss, but as far as he knew, she secretly still only wanted him to take her to bed.
She straightened up in his arms and placed her hands behind his neck. He dipped his head down to take her into a kiss. Her lips burned with all the passion he had seen at the studio. She definitely still wanted sex. But her touch also contained a tenderness that didn’t exist this afternoon. Her feeling had softened and become less insistent on the physical. Real emotion existed where previously he felt only lust coming from her.
He unwound his arms from her waist and they separated. She stumbled and fell back into him, and he bumped into a neighboring couple. The man gave him an annoyed look and steered his woman farther away.
Alicia rubbed her temples.
“Maybe we should get some air,” he said, noticing how flush Alicia’s face had become.
Alicia nodded and proceeded to let him guide her off the dance floor to their table. He grabbed her bad, handed it to her, and then laid additional money down for the bill with a generous tip.
He took Alicia’s hand in his, leaned in for a small kiss, and headed out the door together. Alicia’s face turned a more natural shade in the warm, fresh air.
“It can get kind of hot and crazy in there,” he said, pointing back at the restaurant. He started walking without a particular destination in mind. Then realized it was away from Alicia’s hotel and toward his own apartment. He veered off his course to walk closer to the river.
Cajun Vacation Page 16
