by C. S. Starr
Lucy sighed, on the fence about his logic. “I’m not going to kill him. I want him to live to see everything that’s going to happen. You’re going to be responsible for him.”
“I’m going to be responsible for him?” Tal raised his eyebrows. “That’s what you’ve decided?”
“Since you weren’t before.” She twisted her mother’s wedding band on her thumb. “You will be now.”
Tal cradled his head in his hands, his brows knit together. “I guess I’ll have to find a place for him. He can’t stay here.”
“He took advantage of Leah. You’re fucking right he can’t stay here.”
“That’s your interpretation now?”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “It is.” She pulled her map out of her back pocket and pointed to one of the islands off the coast that had once been a military stronghold. She’d spent some time the night before asking Rika about the geography of the area for her own knowledge. “You’re going to send him to one of the islands off the coast. I don’t care which one. Not Catalina. Rika said it’s gorgeous there.”
“Does Rika know you’re not going to kill him?”
Lucy shook her head. “No, but she said he was mine to do what I wanted to with. She’ll understand.”
***
Tal looked at her map as she spread it across his desk. He avoided her eyes because he knew he’d be unable to stop himself from saying all the things he wanted to say if the right moment presented itself. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to tell her that he’d never be complacent, that he’d learned much at her expense. Their dynamic had changed though, and he knew revealing those things to her would put him in a position that he didn’t want to be in beyond the next few hours. He had a lot to figure out, and although she said she didn’t have any interest in more power, he knew she’d be unable to help herself from meddling if she was given the opportunity, and Tal wanted a shot at doing it on his own. He knew that regardless of anything he said, she was going to leave and return to her position and Campbell, and he was going to remain where he was and define his, and they’d have to work together. It was better if they didn’t contaminate that with any more feelings.
Tal picked the furthest place from himself that he could—Connor was driving him nuts chained up in the back yard. The last thing he wanted was to put him somewhere he’d have to have regular contact with him. “We’ll send him to San Clemente. There’s an old military base there, and we’ll rig something up.”
“I want you to keep him healthy, and I want him to have a television on with the news all the time.”
“Okay,” he agreed. “I’ll do that.”
Lucy folded up her map. “And then we have a lot of work to do, Bauman. We’ve got to fix this shit with East. A lot is riding on you. I’m going to need your help.”
“And if I fuck up?” he half joked.
“You won’t,” she said simply, grinning the most genuine smile she’d mustered in weeks. “Because I’ll be watching, and I know you’d never give me the satisfaction.”
He watched her walk out the front door a few minutes later, purposeful in her stride as she climbed on the bike, and although everything was up in the air, he knew one thing for certain.
It wasn’t the end.
About The Author
Though born in Nova Scotia, C.S. Starr lives in Toronto, Canada with her husband of few years, but partner of many, a fluffy white dog named Sushi, and a diabolical cat named Kimchi. When not writing, she spends her days meeting interesting people and talking about books across Canada and trying to convince herself she is really and truly a runner.
This is her first (published) novel.
She blogs here: csstarrwrites.com
You can find her on twitter here: @cs_writes
UNEDITED PROOF
Here’s a sneak peek from West, Book Two in the Campbell Trilogy:
Chapter 2
March 2013
Campbell
“I can’t forget, but I’ll forgive you, eventually,” Lucy whispered into the phone. “I…I know you didn’t know.”
Tal paused. “Come see me, Ce. Or we can meet somewhere in the middle.”
Lucy exhaled and cradled the phone carefully, imagining what it would be like to see him across a room, a field, anything. She pushed the thought out of her mind. “I can’t. I can’t leave or my brother…I don’t know what he’d do. He’s not right.”
“So that’s it? You’re never going to leave?” he asked. “Is that what you want? To be chained to your job? Your war? Your house in the middle of nowhere?”
“I want a lot of things I’ll never have.” She wiped an errant tear away and looked at the tattered map in front of her, drawing an invisible line between Campbell and Los Angeles with her finger. There, he was only inches away, but West may as well been on a different sheet of paper thumbtacked to the wall in the barn.
“You never know unless you try,” he replied quietly. “I think about us out there a lot. Even though we had nothing—”
“I’m not good for you. I don’t know what I want, and I’m…I’m a fucking mess, Tal. You know that.”
“I feel like you’re…we’re something that’s supposed to be. I can’t explain it.”
She hated when he said things like that because they were exactly what she wanted to hear. “And what happens when it all goes to shit? Then what?”
“Then we go to shit and then dig ourselves out. That’s all anyone can do. You sound more miserable every time I call. Is staying there really a better solution, since your hands are tied with East? Come down. We’ll at least talk in person.”
His tone was gentle; soothing. She hoped he had more to say just so she could listen for a while, and drown in his words and escape her situation; her rudimentary war, her progressively shitty relationship. There was nothing beyond the words, she knew, since she didn’t know what they could possibly be in breath and form, because she was terrified to give it a real shot.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever had someone like you in my life.”
“Same,” he murmured. “Come see me, and we’ll vanish for a little while. Drive down the coast together. Make them come find us again and blame it on some unknown. We’ll get lost and find each other out there.”
She smiled at the thought, even though it was impractical. “It’s a nice idea—”
“Lucy?” Zoey rasped, pushing the door to her office open, rubbing her eyes groggily in her housecoat. “It’s three in the morning.”
The expression on Zoey’s face confirmed what Lucy had assumed for the last month or so; she knew exactly who her late night calls were to, and she was not impressed. Even if Lucy wasn’t ready to openly admit her feelings for the president of West, Zoey saw them all over her face, and she made little effort to hide them, in the selfish hope that she’d force her to make a decision so it wasn’t on her.
“I’ll be up in a few,” Lucy muttered back, feeling both guilty and annoyed at her intrusion.
“Whatever,” she grumbled, slamming the door behind her.
“I have to go,” she whispered sadly to Tal. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
“High noon,” Tal said wistfully. “Oil prices are on the agenda.”
“Great,” she sighed. “I wish I could, you know.”
“Then do,” he whispered. “Why can’t you? I mean it.”
“Good night,” she replied, her voice wavering and her heart heavy. She trudged up the stairs and found Zoey sitting cross-legged on her bed, furious.
“I haven’t with anyone but you. Not since you came back. We talked about this and agreed we’d try—”
Lucy’s grey eyes bore into her girlfriend’s, challenging her to just ask her so she’d have to admit it. “I haven’t seen Tal in months, and I haven’t with anyone—”
“What you’re doing with him? Planning to fucking run away? I hear the way you talk to him. What you’re doing is worse than anything I ever did. You’re involved with him and it’s not
sex. It’s more than sex.”
“I am not. It’s not,” Lucy insisted, although she knew it was.
“Then why are you trying to keep it a secret?”
“Why are you looking for problems when there aren’t any? You’re making shit up to fight about.” Lucy felt like an asshole pushing it back on her, but she was at a bit of a loss to explain the goals and aims of her late night phone calls with Tal. She didn’t know what she wanted; there was no way she was going to be able to explain it to Zoey.
“You are secretly calling a boy that you had a brief relationship with. The only boy you’ve ever had a relationship with. You are pretending it’s nothing. I’m not looking for problems. You’re avoiding them. If you don’t want to do this,” she gestured between them and tugged at her ponytail like she did when she was anxious. “Then we won’t do this. Go. Just go. Do it. See if it’s what you want. You’ll know. You’re being an asshole to me, and probably him too.”
“I don’t know what I want from him,” Lucy exhaled, sitting down cross-legged on the bed. “I don’t know. It’s a lot to think about, and it’s not just about me and him. It goes so far beyond us that I can’t even wrap my head around it.”
Zoey relaxed slightly. “There. That’s all I wanted.”
She cocked her head at her curiously. “For me to admit that I don’t know?”
“For you to be honest with me.” Her blue eyes glistened, and she blinked back tears. “If you want to be with him, you should—”
“I don’t know if that’s what I want,” she replied quickly. “It’s just…it’s nice talking to him.”
What Lucy didn’t tell Zoey was that it was nice not to be the dominant partner in their conversations. It was nice for her not to have all the answers like she’d had to for so long. She didn’t tell her how intoxicating it was to have someone covet her for the reasons he did, especially since, with the war, there wasn’t a great imbalance of power between their territories. It also was nice having someone that knew her apart from Cole. She knew telling Zoey those things would not only feel like self-betrayal because she was possessive of her emotions when it came to Tal, but that it would ultimately result in Zoey trying to alter herself to meet Lucy’s ever-changing wants, needs, and desires. She didn’t know what she wanted, but she knew it wasn’t that.
“Maybe we could both…or you could.”
While it had been a long time fantasy of hers, she knew in reality there was no way in hell she’d ever sleep with both of them. The emotions involved were painful to think about. “I don’t know if it’s about that. It’s not always about that.”
Zoey nodded and her posture stiffened. “I know…I know you’re tired, and this war, it’s taking a lot out of you. I’ll try. I can try harder.”
“Zoe, you’re great. You’re fine…It’s…it’s not about that, or you, or anything. I’m just,” she exhaled loudly and wiped her eyes. “I’m just going through a lot, without him. I feel like I’m still falling from that.”
Lucy knew immediately from her girlfriend’s expression that Zoey had targeted the wrong ‘he’, and that made her heart ache.
“What happened…with Tal? When you were out there?” she asked carefully. “You can tell—”
“I mean Cole.”
“Oh,” she said quietly as her face sunk. “I wasn’t thinking….”
“It’s not just his…him being a boy that’s complicated with Tal. It’s that. I’ve told you this. I’ve asked for a bit of understanding, and you push and push.”
“I won’t push,” she promised. “I’ll do better.”
Lucy hoped that would keep Zoey busy enough to allow her the space to figure out what she wanted.
February 2016
Los Angeles, West
“I’ll have Bull bring the books next time he’s down,” Lucy said tersely over the speakerphone. “You can transition Seattle to your systems however you want.”
Bull piped in. “I’ll be down soon. Maybe next week.”
Leah rolled her eyes at Tal, who poked her in the ribs, causing her to squirm uncontrollably. “Okay, cool. That’s it then?”
“Seattle is officially West territory. Send in the clowns,” she said dryly. “Enjoy.”
“We can have another election in three—”
“I don’t give a shit. It’s one more hassle.”
Tal swallowed and frowned, thinking of how much she’d wanted Seattle not long ago. “Should we move to new business?” Leah muttered sourly, as she did whenever they had a business phone call with Campbell. Tal knew they got along okay when he wasn’t involved, but Leah didn’t like the way she spoke to him.
“Fine, yes. Let’s. We need two hundred and fifty cell phones. The new ones that the buttons don’t fall off of when it gets cold. We need citrus too. As much as you can send.”
Leah’s nostrils flared. “Anything else?”
“Any weapons or ammo you can spare.”
Tal shook his head at Leah silently. “We’ll do what we can with the phones and the citrus. I thought you were in a ceasefire.”
“We are, but you can’t make peace without preparing for war, or so I’m told,” she grumbled. “I’m sure everyone will get fired up again once it warms up a bit. Spring fever and all.”
“You’re such a fucking pessimist, Goose. Let’s not think that,” Bull muttered, his booming voice cracking through the phone. “The phones are great, and the citrus would be very much appreciated, Bauman.”
Tal had never imagined a time when Bull would be the rational one in Campbell. “We’ll meet when you’re down and go over the details. There’s a few new phone models in the works—”
“I’d like to see those,” he agreed. “I’ll bring you down some beef and we’ll have steaks.”
He wondered if he’d ever like really Bull. He respected him, tolerated him, thought he was reasonably intelligent, but there was something about him that made Tal twitch. It was his alpha male swagger, his awareness of his physicality; his relationship with a person Tal thought could do much better.
“Great. Steaks. We’ll set something up,” Leah yawned loudly. “Anything else?”
“I have one thing,” Tal announced. “Zoey is working for me in Seattle.”
“Oh, boy,” Bull chuckled. “Really, now.”
“Doing what?” Lucy snapped, and if Tal had to guess, he’d say she’d just smacked Bull from the groan he let out.
“She’s working gathering correspondence for Rika, since Rika handles correspondence.”
“She blow you again for the position?” Lucy asked coolly. “No,” Tal replied calmly, his face growing hot. “She called me, and we met when I was there, and I agreed to give her the job. She’s qualified, from working with you.”
“Hmm,” Lucy muttered. “And you trust her?”
“You trusted her for a long time, and if she did something to betray your trust, I doubt you would have allowed her to go to Seattle. I’d think she’d be in East now, or locked up in your jail.” Tal glanced at Leah who was enjoying their back and forth a little too much, a sly grin on her face. “I think she’ll be a wonderful addition in Seattle.”
The line went quiet for a minute. Lucy broke the silence by clearing her throat. “Well, if that’s everything, I’m sure we all have things to do.”
“Indeed,” Tal replied. “I’ll send the first round of phones with Otis tomorrow. Same time next week?”
“Yep,” she said tersely. “Think about the weapons.”
“Yeah, I will,” Tal said, although he knew he wouldn’t change his mind. “Bye.”
Leah laughed until she was red in the face once he hung up. “She is not happy with you.”
“What do I give a shit? So I hired her ex.” He busied himself with a pile of papers on his desk. “Big fucking deal.”
“You used to give a shit.”
He leaned back in his chair. “She’s war hungry and bitter. I can’t help that. Everything I do lately pisses her off so I migh
t as well do what I want.”
“Hear, hear,” Leah agreed, clinking her water with Tal’s. “With that, I’m going to call it a day. I’ve got a date.”
“With who?” Tal asked suspiciously. “That guy from the piano bar?”
“He owns the piano bar,” she corrected. “And yes. Desmond. He’s got a sister.—”
“Nope,” Tal shook his head. He didn’t like Desmond, and he knew Leah would tire of him quickly, so he didn’t worry about making his feelings known. “Too weird.”
“Don’t pretend you don’t like a little strange,” she replied, her eyes gleaming. “You and I both know—”
“Be home by two,” he chuckled. “Or at least take your keys so I don’t have to get up and let you in.”
“I’m going to sleep over,” she said coyly. “So don’t wait up.”
Tal liked the way their relationship had evolved. It was much more clearly familial, and he allowed himself to feel protective of her, but the part of him that would have been jealous in the past was practically non-existent. He was proud of the way they’d grown in their relationship and ended up in a better place.
When he got home around six, he made a light dinner, consisting of a BLT and a bowl of chicken soup, and found himself itching to get out of the house. A couple of phone calls later, and he firmed up plans that would ensure him a good night’s sleep.
He had first learned about parkour a couple of years earlier when he’d come across some kids running through the ruins of a mansion near his house. He’d hidden and watched them jump and leap effortlessly around the foundation, in and out of the swimming pool, and clear several overgrown shrubs with unexpected precision for a couple of hours. It had taken him a few nights to introduce himself to the two boys and the girl that seemed to regularly practice near his house. They ranged from fifteen to his age, and were uninterested in Tal’s political standing, which he found refreshing.
The first few times he’d traced, he hurt like hell, not from strained muscles, but from falling. He loved it from the beginning though; the freedom of moving through a variety of environments unhindered, focusing on moving and letting the day-to-day stress of his life float away as he challenged himself physically. He and the other three formed a club, and now there were about twenty traceurs in LA who met periodically to challenge themselves together.
