“Jade, what’s the matter? You have been struggling for a while now. Talk to me.” Sydney’s calm, caring tone and look of concern soothed her, but she was nervous to say the words.
She took a sip of her latte and licked her lips, trying to think of the best way to say what she wanted to say. Taking a deep breath, she blurted it out. “Syd, I love Jackson…I’ve always been in love with him and that’s never going to change.” She could see the look of sudden disappointment spread across Sydney’s face as she started to look away. Reaching for her hand across the table, she placed hers on top of Syd’s and enclosed it. Tilting her head in the same direction, Jade caught her friend’s eye. “Syd…I’m in love with you too.”
Sydney turned to look at her, her lips curled in a surprised smile and Jade smiled back. “You love me?”
“I do,” she chuckled as tears welled in her eyes. “I really do.”
Looking around the coffee shop, Syd then leaned forward and looked into Jade’s eyes. Sydney’s dark brown chestnut eyes pierced her, and her breath caught, feeling as if she were staring right into her friend’s heart. Jade suddenly became aware of the pad of Sydney’s thumb rubbing back and forth over the knuckles on the back her hand. “I love you too, Jade, and I want to be with you. Not just every now and then for a quick fuck. This has always been more than that for me.”
“It’s never been that for me, Syd. The dilemma is that I don’t want to lose either of you. I love you both.” Jade looked imploringly into Syd’s eyes. Not that she thought Sydney had the answer; there was no easy answer, and she didn’t want to hurt either of them…or lose them.
“Does Jackson know about your past? That you’ve been with other women?” Syd asked, letting go of Jade’s hand. Jade tilted her head, wondering why she was asking.
She nodded. “Yes, he knows that during my college years I experimented.”
“How did he feel about that? Syd asked curiously.
Jade smirked. “How do you think most men would feel about that? He thought it was hot.” She shook her head chuckling. “What man do you know doesn’t think two women together aren’t hot? Biggest male fantasy is having sex with two wom…Oh, no!” She looked at Syd shaking her head.
“What? I never said a word.” Syd’s tone was smug as she smirked.
“I see where you’re going with this.” She narrowed her eyes and stared at Syd. Could her lover be on to something? She thought about how many times Jackson had kidded her, or so she thought he was kidding, about having two women in his bed. “No…” She shook her head adamantly then stopped and stared at her lover as she sipped her coffee.
Syd placed her coffee cup on the table and leaned across it. “Look, I don’t know the dynamics of your marriage. I’m just merely suggesting that perhaps there may be a small chance to have your cake and eat it too.” Raising her eyebrow, Sydney sat back and downed the last of her coffee then packed her laptop. Pushing her chair back, she swooped across the table and kissed Jade on the cheek. “Think about it and call me.” Sitting there, Jade nodded, watching as Sydney walked out of the coffee shop and waving through the window when she passed by.
Somewhat stunned, she finished her coffee and left.
Chapter Five
“Thank you for placing your trust and confidence in us, Mr. Anderson. We’ll do everything we can to get you some answers.” He shook the older man’s hand and bid him goodbye. He sympathized with Mr. Anderson; he had some compelling circumstantial evidence that his wife was having an affair. He just needed irrefutable proof that would hold up in court. The Andersons were part of the social elite in Seattle. Money was no object; the client just wanted the job done.
Jackson thought about the video of Jade and Sydney constantly. One minute he was totally turned on, the next an empty feeling of dread that he might lose Jade filled him. He loved her too much for that to happen.
Closing the door to his office and locking it, he sat behind his desk and keyed the video up on his laptop to where he’d left off the other day. He sat there staring at the screen, the video cued and paused. Jade’s face was frozen on the monitor, contorted in ecstasy. Sydney obviously fulfilled something that made Jade feel the need to go out of the constraints of their marriage for. He knew she’d slept with women before he’d met her. She had never had a relationship with them though, just casual sex—experimenting, or so she’d said. Maybe this was something Jade needed.
Sitting back, he weighed his options and thought about his original reaction. He was turned on by what he saw. He’d have to admit he was a little jealous, but was he jealous that Jade was with Sydney? Would he have had this same reaction if it had been a man? Or, was he jealous because he was not a part of it? Damn. What am I going to do?
Flipping the screen of his laptop down, he pushed out of his chair and packed up to go home.
*****
Sydney’s car was in the driveway when he pulled up to the house. It was inevitable that they would be meeting up sooner or later. May as well get it over with. Jade knew he came home at this time, so he doubted he would find them in the throes of passion. Grabbing his laptop from the passenger seat, he headed into the house. The minute he opened the door, the rich aroma of something savory filled his senses. Jade and Sydney were sitting on the high stools at the kitchen island sipping wine, both of them turning as he closed the heavy wood door. “Hey, babe,” Jade called out to him cheerfully.
Placing his bag down by the door, he walked through the foyer and into the kitchen, greeting both women; a kiss on the lips for Jade and one on Syd’s cheek. “Always a pleasure to see you, Syd,” he said, as he wrapped his arms around Jade from behind.
“You too, Jackson.” She smiled, picking up her glass and taking a sip of the ruby red wine. Jackson noted how her eyes darted to his arms as he embraced Jade.
He placed a quick kiss on Jade’s neck, breathing in the fresh scent of her vanilla shampoo. After getting a beer from the refrigerator, he got the bottle opener, popped the top, and took a long pull. The cold beer went down smooth and easy. Looking at the bottle before placing it on the counter, he noticed that he had sucked down almost half of its contents. “Something smells good. What’s in the oven?” Looking at the top of the stove, he noticed the saucepot and the spoon covered in tomato sauce on the spoon rest. He knew whatever it was, it would be good.
“Lasagna,” Sydney exclaimed, holding her wine glass up and signaling toward Jade with it. “Your wife is an amazing cook.”
Jade smiled and looked at Sydney. He saw that gleam in her eye, the same look she often gave him. Nodding, he grabbed his beer off the counter and brought it to his lips. “She certainly is.” Tilting his head back, he tossed back a few gulps.
Jade swiveled on her stool and slid off, making her way to the oven and patting his arm as she passed. “Why don’t you two have a seat, the lasagna should be ready.”
With a sweeping gesture of his arm, he motioned toward the table. “After you, Syd.”
Slanting her head, she nodded. “Thanks, Jackson.”
The dinner was delicious, and for the most part, the conversation was pleasant. Syd mentioned their trip to Los Angeles, and that’s when things started to go downhill. They were going away together in three days—alone in a hotel room. They discussed where they would go to dinner and some of the sights they were contemplating taking in. He felt left out, and all he could think about was them alone together. Excusing himself, he retrieved his laptop by the front door and headed into the study, closing the door behind him. Opening the screen, he realized he never shut it down at work. After entering the password, Jade’s image from the surveillance video was before him—frozen on the screen.
He tried to close out of it, but the image remained. The door to the study opened and Jade walked in. Turning his head, he looked at her. Gazing at him and then the screen, she gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth, a look of absolute horror on her face. “Jackson, what the…?” Her stunned voice trailed off.
&nbs
p; He could feel the color drain from his face. He never meant for her to find out about the video or that he’d taped her like this. Hell, he hadn’t even been sure he was ever going to tell her at all. Closing the laptop, he walked over and shut the door, her eyes never leaving him. “Look, Jade, I never meant for you to see that.”
“What is that? You taped me? You taped me and…oh my God.” Jade’s voice cracked, her hands shook, and her eyes darted from Jackson to the laptop.
“For God’s sake, Jade, I do this for a living. I had a feeling something was going on. Something didn’t seem right.” Raking his fingers through his hair, he clenched his jaw. “Never in a million years would I have imagined it would be with Syd.” His own voice cracked. “Why?” Shaking his head, he looked directly in her eyes. “I thought you loved me. I thought we had a good life. Tell me I’m not wrong. Jadie…I love you.”
*****
“Jackson,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. Tears began to spill down her cheeks. “I do love you, and I never meant to hurt you, and yes,” she paused and walked a step toward him, “we have a wonderful life.”
“Why?” he asked, pain written all over his face.
“Because I love her too. With you and her, I am complete. I feel like without you, something is missing, yet without her, something is missing too. You know my history with women. I guess…” She shook her head and looked up into his eyes. She could see the torment this was causing him. “That’s a part of me. I’ve never acted on it, or wanted to, until Sydney. It was like a moth to a flame with her. I was just drawn in.” Reaching out, she grabbed his hand. “Jackson, baby, I love you, really and truly I do…I don’t want to lose you. But I don’t want to lose her either.”
Pulling his hand away, she knew he was hurt. He walked over to the desk, gathered his laptop, slid it into the grey bag, and slung it over his shoulder. Without looking at her, he breezed past. “I need to get out of here and clear my head.”
“Where are you going?” Her voice cracked as she began to cry. Her heart was broken. In all the years they had been together, he had never left in the middle of a fight or heated discussion. He always insisted they hash things out.
“I’ll be at my office,” he said, as he swung the door open with such force, the doorknob crashed against the wall. He turned back and looked at her for a moment then walked down the hall and out the front door. Her body shook when she heard the door slam.
Sydney rushed down the hall toward her. Her eyes widening with a look of concern as she entered the room. “What happened? Jade…hun, are you okay?” Covering her face, she broke down. The warmth of Syd’s arms enclosed her as a chilling emptiness filled her.
“He knows.” It was all she could say, over and over. Sydney held her, rubbing her back and trying to offer the comfort that would never be, not without Jackson. After standing in the middle of the room for what felt like forever, they sat down on the black leather loveseat where Jade told her what had transpired. She told Syd about the surveillance tape, about how Jackson had suspected something was going on, and about telling Jackson that she didn’t want to live without either of them. The truth was finally out, and he’d fled.
Chapter Six
Two days passed before he went home when he knew Jade wouldn’t be there to get a change of clothing and a few toiletries. He’d been sleeping on the couch in his office. His back hurt, he couldn’t concentrate, and he hadn’t had a decent meal or a goodnight’s sleep since he’d left. He’d hated leaving, hated the look on her face when he gazed at her before walking out, but he’d needed some time to figure this all out.
He loved her; there was never any doubt about that. He was miserable and wanted to go home. But most of all, he was confused. How could something that initially turned him on so much be the very thing that made him leave? Sitting up on the couch, he pushed the throw blanket that didn’t even come close to covering his body off and tossed it over the arm. Barefoot, with only a pair of jeans on, he bent forward and scrubbed his face with his hands. Two days’ worth of growth lined his chin and upper lip. Closing his eyes and drawing in a deep breath, he sighed. For the thousandth time in the last 48 hours, he contemplated his next move. Thank God, his partner was gone for the week; there was no audience for the spectacle his life had become.
Placing his hand on his knees, he pushed up and headed to the small kitchenette to make a cup of coffee when two loud knocks echoed through his office from the outer door. Looking at his watch, he was surprised that someone would be there at seven thirty-five in the morning. Maybe it was Jade. His heart beat a little faster at the hopefulness of that thought. Rushing to the door, he unlocked it and pulled it open. He was surprised and disappointed at who was there.
“You look like shit, Jackson,” Sydney said, as her eyes scanned his body before holding up a cup of coffee and pushing past him, entering the lobby of his office.
“Yeah, well, I feel like shit,” he lobbed back. “Tell me, Syd, how am I supposed to feel? My wife is in love with you.”
Sydney narrowed her eyes. “Your wife is in love with you!” The tone of her voice was sharp and to the point.
They stood there for a few seconds, both of them staring until Sydney caved and broke the stalemate. “Look, Jackson, I don’t know what the answer is, but I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I don’t love her or that I don’t want her…because I do. I also know how much you love her and how much you want her.”
“We’ve spent nine years building a life together, seven of them as husband and wife. She is my life, the reason I breathe. I am not going to back down and lose her.” He placed the coffee cup she handed him on the table in the reception area and crossed his arms over his chest, a gesture signifying he was digging in his heels.
Sydney followed his movements, crossing her hands over her chest in the same manner. “Neither am I.”
“Well then, what do you suppose we do now?” His question was more rhetorical rather than something that had a plausible answer.
“Well, it seems to me there’s only one option. It’s a long shot, but if we work together, it just might be doable,” she replied, her eyes focused directly on him.
Arching his eyebrow, he tilted his head and narrowed his gaze at her. “What exactly do you have in mind?” he asked.
“We leave for LA tomorrow. Jade tried to cancel the trip, but I wouldn’t let her. She’s miserable, Jackson,” Syd explained. “Meet us in Los Angeles. I have an idea.”
*****
She didn’t want to go. For three days she was depressed, feeling as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest. She and Jackson hadn’t spoken. In the nine years since they had known each other, nothing like this had ever happened. They’d never gone more than a few hours without some kind of contact. She felt empty, nothing but a walking hollow shell. How was she supposed to get anything out of this conference? Syd convinced her to go to get her mind off things. That was not going to happen when all she could do was think of her husband.
After their short flight, they picked up their car and headed to the hotel, stopping at the gift shop for something for Jade’s headache. With her sunglasses still covering her eyes, they headed for their room. All Jade could think about was lying down and taking a nap. The plans that she and Sydney had made now meant nothing. There was no way she could enjoy this trip. She was here for business and business alone at this point. Hell, she would have even cancelled on that if Sydney hadn’t insisted that she go.
“Let’s go, get up.” Syd’s knee crashed into the bed as she shook her.
Jade opened her eyes and moaned. Picking up her iPhone from the bedside table, she squinted, trying to focus on the screen. Her eyes still felt puffy from days of crying. “Give me a half hour more, Syd, it’s only seven o’clock,” she muttered.
“You’ve been sleeping for an hour. Get up and get in the shower,” Syd commanded, as she started to rifle through her luggage. “I made dinner reservations in the restaurant down
in the lobby for eight and you’re going. You can either get up and take a shower and look halfway decent, or you can go looking like that. It’s your choice!” The matter-of-fact attitude and penetrating tone annoyed her.
“Fine,” she shot back gruffly, as she rolled off the bed and headed for the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
After a hot shower, she dried her hair and put on just a touch of make-up. She appreciated that Syd was trying to get her mind off things, but it just wasn’t going to work. She just didn’t see the point of it. Slipping into her little black dress and heels, they made their way down to the lobby.
The restaurant was tastefully decorated, not your average hotel restaurant. Floor-to-ceiling windows flanked the far wall with views of the outdoor garden where white lights decorated the trees and bushes. Rustic wood accents along with rich burgundy and gold colors gave the interior a warm, inviting feel. The food was wonderful, and the wine was superbly paired with their meal, but other than a few bites, she couldn’t eat.
“Jade, hun, you’ve barely touched your meal. You have to eat something,” Syd observed.
Raising the wine glass to her lips, she peered over the rim at Sydney, taking a sip of the Pinot Noir they’d ordered. Swallowing as she set the glass down on the table, she shook her head while she looked at her plate. “I don’t have an appetite.” Leaning forward, she folded her arms in front of her and rested them on the table. “Please don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine…eventually…” Her voice trailed off. She wondered what Jackson was doing. Did he miss her as much as she missed him? Would he ever be able to forgive her? How would they ever be able to move on?
Sydney lifted the napkin off her lap and placed it on the table after wiping the corners of her mouth. “Excuse me; I’m going to use the Ladies Room,” she announced, pushing back from the table and standing. She was stunning in her form-fitting red dress. Tall and curvy with long, lean legs, her lengthy dark brown hair swayed from side to side as she seemed to gracefully glide while walking through the restaurant, turning a multitude of heads as she disappeared down the alcove.
Her Forbidden Affair Page 3
