by Ali Winters
My eyes snap open as I release the dagger and sit up. The sudden movement startles Alaric into taking a step back.
“You’re here,” I say dumbly.
A dozen questions flitting through my mind, and I manage to state the obvious.
He smiles. The watery moonlight washes over the sharp features of his handsome face and the small, unassuming bat perched on his shoulder. Cherno lets out a small chirp.
I hold out my hand, beckoning Alaric to my side. He doesn’t hesitate. His fingers entwine with mine, his grip firm but gentle. Alaric climbs onto the tiny bed, situating himself next to me, our backs pressed to the wall.
Cherno crawls from his shoulder to mine and presses their face into my neck. I reach up and pat the top of his head. “I missed you, too,” I say.
The little demon stays there for a moment longer before leaping into the air. They circle the room once then glide out of the window, leaving the two of us alone.
Alaric pats the poor excuse for a mattress and gives it a disapproving look.
I laugh, leaning into his side and resting my head on his shoulder, soaking in his presence. The mark responds, and if it were a living thing, I would say it purred.
“I wasn’t allowed to return,” I say after a long moment. “He said I had to stay here from now on.”
He presses his lips to my temple and asks, “Who?”
I suspect he already knows the answer. Part of me doesn’t want to say, knowing it will annoy him, but I don’t want to lie.
“Cassius,” I say eventually. He lets out a low growl. I gently squeeze his arm and say, “He won’t harm me.”
That seems to temper his anger. Slightly.
“I did try to come sooner, but I couldn’t get away until now.” His fingers trail up and down my arm in soothing strokes. “Elizabeth is forcing my hand.”
A long silence stretches out, heavy with things unsaid. She’s using me against him. He won’t tell me because he doesn’t want me to feel guilty or attempt to fix this mess. Not that I would have the faintest idea of where to start.
“I won’t allow her to—” Alaric presses his lips into a tight line.
I pull away and look him in the eye. “What would happen if you give in to her?”
“I can’t.” He releases me, glaring at me for suggesting it.
I swallow the lump in my throat at thinking these thoughts, let alone pushing the issue. “What will happen if you don’t?”
He doesn’t speak, though the muscle ticking along his jaw is answer enough. I drop my head, understanding. Saying he would be miserable would be an understatement.
Alaric shifts at my side, his arm flexing under my fingertips. He leans into me. The gesture sends a sensation of ease through my muscles. I wonder if he feels the bond too—the pull—or if he simply understands that this somehow comforts me.
“She knows you’ll protect me, so she’ll never stop using me against you until you either prove you don’t care what happens…” My stomach knots. I pull in a breath, waiting for a sign he doesn’t feel that way. “Or I die, and maybe not even then. You should consider—”
“No. Don’t ever suggest that again,” he snarls. “I would rather die than become her consort.”
My heart aches for him and the impossible situation he’s in. As long as I’m here, alive, I will be a weakness. I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek. Could I let him go, or am I too selfish, too?
We’ve tried to play the part of vampire master and claimed human while avoiding it, and in the end, we became precisely that. Now that it’s real, it has accomplished nothing. We are still in the heart of Nightwich after the two weeks of solstice celebrations with no hope of leaving.
I tighten my hold on his arm, squeezing. Alaric places a chaste kiss on the top of my head and pats my hand.
My gut feels hollow as the sense of an impending event grows, hovering over me like the movement of a shadow just beyond my line of sight. I don’t know what it will be or when it will come crashing down over us.
We sit in silence. I hate feeling powerless to help him. He has done everything in his power to protect me and continues to do so.
He deserves the same from me. I just wish I knew how.
I flick my gaze up and take in the sharp features of Alaric’s face—the tight press of his mouth and the slight crease between his brows. There are countless things we could talk about, but I think he needs this silence.
It pains me to admit it, but Cassius was right. I need power, and I will do whatever I must to gain it.
“I should leave,” he says after a while.
Reflexively, my hold tightens even when he doesn’t move. I force myself to release him. Straightening, I twist to look him in the eye and ask, “Will you come back?”
He lifts his hand and runs his fingers through my hair, stopping when his palm cups my cheek. I lean into the touch. “I will always return to you.”
Something inside clenches because what he says reminds me of his words from last night. The feeling is so overwhelming I don’t know how to respond. Warmth travels up my face and stings my face the longer he watches me.
“I can stay for a little longer.”
When I can’t take the intensity any longer, I shift and sit back, pressing my side into his. Alaric drapes an arm over my shoulder and pulls me into him. I breathe him in, letting my eyes slide shut.
My eyes fly open at the sound of three swift knocks on the door. I blink, looking around. Alaric is gone, and I’m in my bed, covered by the threadbare blanket, eyes burning from exhaustion. The morning light is barely visible. I don’t remember falling asleep, but it can’t have been for long.
Alaric’s visit feels like a dream. I collapse back down on the flat, lumpy pillow, wanting to fall back asleep and remember the feeling of his hand on my face.
The door bursts open. I roll to my side, sliding my hand under my pillow, reaching for the dagger. Cassius strides in, stopping a few feet from the bed.
I relax back into the mattress and cover my head with the pillow. “What kind of monster enters a room like that?” I groan.
His clothes are simple compared to his usual style but no less immaculate, and his long pale hair is pulled back into a braid.
“Get up,” he orders, ripping the pillow from my grasp and tossing it. It hits the wall, falling to the floor with a muffled thump. Then, he does the same to the blanket.
Cold winter air wraps around me, and goosebumps form almost painfully over my entire body.
I roll over to my back and glare up at him.
“Get your ass out of bed.”
“The sun isn’t even up yet.”
Cassius takes two steps forward, the front of his legs pressing against the bed frame. He folds his arms and looks down his nose. “That is the point, little bird.”
He reaches for my hand, but I jerk away, sitting up and scooting away from him. He waits.
I know I should listen, but I’m so tired, and my lumpy bed looks so comfortable right now, even without the blanket and pillow.
I can feel my eyelids grow heavier at just thinking about a few more delicious minutes of sleep.
“All right,” he says, relaxing his arms. “I can see you won’t get up.”
A small smile creeps over my lips as I start to lower back down.
Cassius’s hand wraps around my wrist. In a swift movement, he pulls me up and flings me over his shoulder. I sputter, unable to form words as he strides from the room.
“What are you doing?” I snap, planting my hands on his lower back to lift my upper body, so I’m not hanging upside-down. “I’m not even dressed.”
My protests do nothing to slow his pace. If anything, he speeds up. The walls pass in a blur, making me dizzy. I let my arms go limp.
“You’re wearing clothes. Everything that needs to be covered is covered.”
It’s too early to go this fast. “Cassius Wellington, you unhand me this second and return me to my room.”
“If you wan
t to be dressed when you practice, then you should learn to get up before I arrive.” His grip on my thighs tightens as we descend. My stomach rises and falls at the change of direction. “Did you think I was lying when I said I would make you practice for three hours before breakfast?”
Actually, I hadn’t put any thought into what he’d said. As soon as I saw Alaric’s face last night, I’d let everything else from the day fall away. Forgotten.
I take a step back, panting. My bare feet pad on the cold stone floor. A heavy bead of sweat drips down the side of my temple. I reach up and swipe at the wisps of hair clinging to my damp face.
Cassius closes the distance as fast as I create it, not giving me an inch of leeway.
My arms and legs shake from the effort, and my nightgown clings indecently to my body, making it difficult to move.
He swings. I fall to my knees to avoid the strike. His arm passes just over my head, creating its own wind, barely missing me.
Unlike Alaric, he doesn’t pull his punches, more than willing to strike to make his point. My bruised ribs are a testament to that.
The second my knees connect with the hard stone, I know I’ve lost the fight. It’s a terrible position to be in. My body is pushed to the limits, movements slow and messy.
Cassius plants his foot on my side and pushes, knocking me over with little effort.
I land hard on my side and roll to my back. He straddles my ribs, standing over me, saying nothing.
When he doesn’t move or continue the fight, I push on his legs but have no strength behind it.
“You’re a bastard,” I snarl.
Unfazed, he jerks his chin and says, “Get up and try again. I’m not letting you go until you can deflect.”
“I deflected,” I argue.
“No, you avoided. Waving your arms around won’t help you. It only uses up energy, energy you will need.”
I push up to my elbows and scrunch my nose. “Need for what exactly?”
Cassius crouches down, leveling his face with mine, baring his fangs. “Get up. I won’t ask again.”
My body is exhausted. I don’t think I can stand, even if I wanted to. I’m tired, my mind is sluggish, and all I want to do is close my eyes and sleep, even if that means doing so on this dusty old floor.
“What is it with you vampires and teaching me to fight?” I grumble.
Cassius clamps his mouth shut, and a long, tense moment passes between us. Then quietly, he says, “Do you want to be killed?”
“Of course not,” I snap. I understand why Alaric wanted to teach me, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out Cassius’s motivation.
“Then get up.” He straightens and backs up.
It’s a struggle to push to my feet. After my short break, the fatigue has set into every fiber of my being.
Cassius motions with his hand, letting me know he’s about to start. Even with that warning, I don’t have it in me to get my body to cooperate and move in a coordinated way.
I step back, but my knees buckle, and I land hard on my rear.
He sighs and rubs his forehead. “I suppose since it is your first day, I will go easy on you.”
I can’t help the sharp laugh that bursts from my chest. If this is taking it easy, then I’m the mother of demons.
He crouches at my feet and takes one leg in his hand, pushing up the hem of my gown.
Blood speckles my knee from my fall. I take a deep breath and relax back, knowing what will come next—the fiery burn of his power as he heals every wound he’s inflicted.
The second he steps away from me, I jump to my feet and run out the door. My stomach growls, but instead of heading to the kitchen, I hurry toward my room, determined to get dressed before getting something to eat.
Cassius chuckles as he catches up to me in seconds. “You won’t lose me that easily, little bird.”
I do my best to ignore him as he remains at my side. I steal a glance as we near the main floor of the castle. Two voices, as familiar to me as my own, float down the hall.
I stop in my tracks. Cassius’s hand grips my elbow gently. Alaric and Elizabeth pass, arm in arm, by our shadowed stairwell.
They speak, their faces close and voices low. I bite down on my lip to keep from calling out to him.
Alaric’s chin lifts a fraction and angles toward me. The expression on his face is cold, distant, and unfamiliar. An ache blooms in my chest, deep and uncomfortable. He looks away, leaning in closer to the queen and whispers something that elicits a delicate laugh.
I don’t understand what message he is trying to send with that look. Everything about his body language contradicts his words from last night.
I watch the way Elizabeth clings to him and the intimate way they interact within a few strides. The sting of something ugly sloshes its way through my veins, forming a pit in my stomach.
I’m no longer hungry. I don’t move, even after they’ve gone. It takes a long moment before I recognize the emotion.
Jealousy.
“Clara,” Cassius says. He steps in front of me, blocking my view.
I turn my head, not wanting him to see the turmoil of emotions that must be written on my face.
He takes my hand and hooks my arm through his. Normally, I would pull away, but every ounce of fight has left me, and I can’t summon the energy to care as he leads me away.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Clara
I stare at the stone ceiling, too exhausted to do anything more than sit on this lumpy bed and breathe. After Cassius escorted me back to my room, I had every intention of sleeping, but my mind refuses to settle.
The scene replays in my mind over and over. Alaric so close to the queen, the way they touched, the way they leaned into each other… He told me he hated her, but the brief glimpse I had said otherwise.
Knots form, twisting my insides. I hug my pillow tightly to my chest.
Is he deceiving me… or her? And if he has a plan, why wouldn’t he have told me last night?
There’s an ache inside me, not just in my muscles but bone deep. It’s a loneliness I’ve never felt before, hollow, dark, and empty.
I don’t miss home. I don’t miss hunting or stealing or scavenging to put food in our bellies. Of course, I miss Kitty, but knowing she’s safe is enough. I’m glad that part of my life is over.
I want to be where I am now, which is utterly insane considering all that has happened—thrown in the dungeon, nearly reclaimed by another vampire, and all of the games where I am in the center of it all.
I am the pawn, the sacrifice that everyone is using.
How can I want this?
How can I want to be with a vampire? A man I should hate but who has taken my heart without me noticing. A man I love who has no reason to ever return those feelings.
While there are things I would change, I would still choose to be here with Alaric. No games. Just being at his side.
Three soft knocks on the door pull me from my thoughts.
“Go away,” I call out.
Silence greets me, but I know exactly who it is without having to hear his voice. The knock comes again, and this time, I ignore it.
With an annoyed growl, Cassius throws open the door and slams it closed behind him. He marches into the room with a large plate balanced in one hand, heaped with what looks like at least half a roasted chicken, bread, a thick bunch of grapes, and a single strawberry.
“I said go away.” I fling the pillow at him.
He bats it away with his free hand. It drops to the ground with a soft thud.
“You can send me away all you want, but I’m not about to let you starve.” Cassius shoves the plate of food under my nose.
My stomach clenches at the aroma. I push his hand away. “I’m not hungry.”
“Demon shit,” he snaps. “Eat it, or I will force it down your throat. I don’t care about your hurt feelings. You need to keep up your strength.”
I don’t doubt for a second that he will foll
ow through with his threat.
With a huff, I snatch the plate from him. Several grapes break free from the vine and roll off to the mattress, followed by the lone strawberry.
I cross my legs and set the plate down in my lap. “I’ll eat. You can go.”
Cassius shakes his head. “I’ll leave when you’ve finished.”
Irritation prickles over my skin. I don’t take my eyes off him as I rip into the meat with both hands.
The steam burns my fingertips. Bite after bite, I shove seasoned chicken into my mouth. I don’t even wait to finish before stuffing more, filling my cheeks.
I wait for him to be disgusted and leave, but it doesn’t work. Cassius relaxes against the wall, arms crossed, and one perfectly shaped brow arched as he watches me.
Halfway through eating, my hands are dripping with grease. It takes a while, but eventually, I manage to swallow the food in my mouth.
My gaze darts around, looking for something to wipe my hands with, but all I have is the blanket beneath me and my clothes. Neither option is ideal.
“Forgive me. I didn’t think to have a bath sent up. I assumed you knew how to eat like a civilized person.”
I do feel better, at least physically, now that I’ve eaten. As much as it pains me to admit, he was right.
Rubbing my hands, I wipe as much food off as I can. Regret and embarrassment seep up my neck, stinging my face.
I glance up ready to apologize, when a ball of cloth bounces off my face. At the same time that Cassius snatches the plate from my lap.
A thought occurs to me as I run the napkin over my face then hands, eyeing him. The snake that was always nearby at Windbury has been scarce.
“Where is your demon?” I ask. Come to think of it, I’ve hardly seen Cherno since arriving, and when I have, they haven’t spoken a word. “Actually, why is it I hardly see any demons around?”
“Asmod is one of the stronger demons to grace Nightwich,” Cassius says. “Elizabeth’s demon, Kharis, draws on the power of any demon while they are within the confines of these walls. You will most likely never see a demon unless their vampire needs the proximity of their power.”
