It is difficult, but I let her go. “If only you will be that compliant in the Dreamscape.”
“I’ll be the poster child of obedience.”
Shaking my head, I move ahead of her. “This, I have to see.”
When Seth steps in front of me, I allow myself to take a breath. His expression when he promised to take care of me shot straight to my heart. He meant every word he said to me. My leg already feels much better. He’ll probably need proof that I’m okay before we can train again. I’ve got to reel in my stupid gene. It’s just really hard to think straight when I’m around him. Who wouldn’t have tried to break that glass?
My inner wimp tells me my brain failure is because I have real feelings for him, but how can I have feelings for a lie? My teeth hurt from clenching them so hard. I consider what he said, about why he wanted me to think he was a different person than Jason, and it makes sense, even though I’d like it not to. Jason and I got pretty heavy in my dreams. He even told me that he loved me.
Being the sucker I am, I ate it up. I even told him I loved him too, and I did. I just don’t know what to do with those feelings now. Jason was a total fabrication, or was he? Seth is like him, most the time, until he gets his game face on. It’s like he flips a switch in his brain or something.
It’s really kind of cool how he can detach himself from feelings like that. My detachment is something different. It’s based on fear, not control.
I hope he can teach me how to manage the coward inside me. I grit my teeth and stifle my thoughts. What am I thinking anyway? I won’t be here long enough to learn anything of real value from him.
In and out. That’s what I have to focus on. Once I find that key, I’ll be able to choose. Until then I’m stuck.
When I do leave this place I’m gonna take the money in my room. I stashed it in the closet for safekeeping.
We’re silent as we trek through the hallway and into his room. I allow myself a glance at the pit where the fire comes from. It’s a long line that seems to stretch forever. The pendulum swings back and forth and back and forth.
“Seth?” I ask.
“Mmm?”
“Is that some kind of clock?”
“I guess you could call it that,” he says, noncommittal.
“Yeah, that’s not much of an answer.”
He turns us around, just before we are at my door, and peers at the pendulum. “It marks the hours of my curse.”
I stare blankly at him. “Curse?”
He nods.
“Why were you cursed?” I ask, more curious than I should be.
“I did not fulfill my calling. I made a mistake and now I pay for that mistake every second of my life.”
This was bound to come up, so why is it so difficult to tell her what I did? I don’t want to admit my mistake, but that doesn’t take it away.
She shifts in my arms and catches my gaze. I could stare at her delicate features all day and not get bored. If only I could get her to see that she was made for me. Her kind is rare in the mortal realm. Out of billions in my care, there are only fourteen true Sibylline alive at the moment, half of which are old women. The others are either too compromised or too weak. I would like to think I had other options, but Amelia is the only woman among them with the fortitude to survive in my world.
Her strengths have come from her weaknesses and those are the qualities that endure.
The corners of my mouth lift while I motion for her to sit. Once she is settled, I sit beside her. Her eyes shift away from mine. “It is okay, Amelia. You may ask me anything.”
She gives a half nod. Her fingers find the edge of her quilt to worry. When she speaks, it is her fingers she stares at, not me. “Will you tell me about it?”
“It’s simple. I became too arrogant. I thought myself invincible, and I lost to a foe I never expected to fight.”
She flinches, making me wonder what she is thinking. Has she already lost faith in my abilities? Has she any faith in my abilities? I shake off further thought to continue, but she beats me to it.
“Who was it?”
“A former lover of mine,” I say without emotion. I’ve already expended enough of my life on Rhea.
She frowns. “Is she the girl Daegan mentioned? The one with Volos? She betrayed you?”
I nod. “She betrayed all of us.”
She grits her teeth. What is happening in that mind of hers? I cannot wait to get her into the Dreamscape again. There, all my questions shall find the answers I seek.
Her green eyes snap to mine. “How awful for you,” she says, her voice soft with compassion.
“Thank you for your concern, Amelia, but it has been many years. Besides, it was as much my fault as hers, if not more.”
Her eyebrows knit together. “What do you mean?”
“The Erobos are cunning. They are also extremely alluring. Stronger than she have fallen for their deception. I merely assumed she was ready for them, but I was wrong. She had already been compromised when I took her into the Dreamscape.” I’m oversimplifying the story, but I don’t want to get into it right now. I’d rather focus on my future…with Amelia. I also don’t wish to frighten her.
She stops fiddling with her quilt and closes her eyes. “How long has it been?” She hesitates before she adds, “Since you lost her.”
I consider this for a moment and shrug. “More than five thousand of your years. I lose track of time easily these days.”
Her back stiffens ever so slightly. “I want to be completely ready before you take me into the Dreamscape.”
I smile at her and this time she doesn’t flinch. Perhaps I am getting better at it. “We are in agreement then.” When I stand, I have to stop myself from leaning in to kiss her cheek. She still isn’t accustomed to physical contact.
She offers me a casual smile. “I won’t try to go in there without you.”
I nod. “That is very good to hear. Thank you for trusting me.”
She opens her mouth as if to comment, but stares at me instead. After a moment she finally says, “I’d like to know more about how you ended up here, cursed.”
It takes quite a bit of effort for me to swallow. “No more tonight. I have to leave.”
Something changes in her face, a visible tension I do not like to see in her. She glances away from me, so I sit back down beside her and take her hand into mine.
“It’s okay,” she says. “Go.”
“I would stay if I could.”
Her lips stiffen. “It’s no big deal. Just leave already. I’m kind of tired from all the training today. We can talk more tomorrow.”
I give a good squeeze to her fingers. “Very well,” I say. “Good night, Amelia.”
Without another word, she walks into her room and shuts the door. How long she will stay in there is anyone’s guess.
I lean back against the pillows and clutch a hand to my pounding chest. Somehow, just knowing I can move about Seth’s place eases my tension. He’s either got ESP or he knows me better than I’d like him to. I’m betting on the latter and that so annoys me.
Seth is a problem that I have no solution for. I want to keep a comfortable distance between us, but I’m starting to think that isn’t possible. He’s all I have to even speak to until I go into the Dreamscape, and as tempting as it is for me to want to rush in there so I can find a way out of here, I believed what he said about his former lover.
Brother. It shouldn’t bother me that he’s been in love before, but it does. Why is that? I don’t want him.
Period.
The end.
Not wanting to think about him anymore, I get up. I consider soaking in the tub, but I’m not feeling it at the moment.
What I really want to do is explore his place. How much more of it is there? From what I’ve seen, I wouldn’t be surprised if it is some kind of mansion.
Seth is sweet, in his own way. I just wish I could remember the dreams he claimed we had together. Could it be possible I agreed to
come here? It is kind of compelling to think about a place that could literally take me anywhere, even to different worlds.
What girl gets a chance like that? If I go back into the real world, what do I really have there? I don’t even have a home. Sure, I could take Seth’s money with me, but then what?
Would I ever be able to forget this place, or Seth? Not likely.
I press my cheek to the door and listen for him. Has he gone already?
Man, I hope so. The last thing I want to do is open this door and find him naked or, who am I kidding? Seeing him in the buff has risen to the top of my bucket list.
Pathetic I am, but I’m not stupid.
When all I hear is my pounding pulse, I square my shoulders and barge into his room. A quick scan tells me he’s gone. The firewall flickers a familiar scene I’d love to walk right into, but I promised him.
I let a smile eat up my lips then head for the hallway. Halfway there, I rethink my priorities. Seth is gone and I’m in his bedroom. Being nosy is probably stupid of me, but I want to check it out. You know, get a feel for who he really is—if that’s even possible.
I stare at the fluttering wall of fire, wondering if he’s stuck around, but all I see are flickering trees and the waterfall. I’d say this entry is an upgrade compared to the dingy park he had before. Nothing exciting ever happened there, no matter how many times I hoped it would.
I meander to his chair, taking in the curved lines and surprisingly sexy silhouette. It’s oddly feminine, yet masculine at the same time. The onyx velvet looks so luxurious it calls to me.
After a few seconds of internal debate I lower to the cushion and settle in. It’s a little big for me, but decidedly comfortable and well-worn, like my old jeans. My fingers skim along the armrests ever so slowly, like Seth did the last time we were in here together. The fabric tickles my fingertips, and I find myself smiling.
The room has a cozy feel despite its size. For the first time I realize when the flames are active the pendulum is gone. Curious. Seth said it ticked away the seconds of his punishment. Does that mean that when he is in the Dreamscape he’s not being punished or that his punishment is on hold?
I’m going to find out why he was punished. His admission that a girl was involved only makes this curse thing more plausible. My mind continues to spin with fluttering thoughts that melt away like lacy snowflakes on hot skin once the next arrives.
I stare at the flames for a while and get lost in their depths. What is it about fire that is so enticing? Get too close and it burns, yet it sings a siren’s call of promised warmth and comfort—much like the man that kidnapped me.
That thought snaps me out of my daydream, and I make myself get up. The last thing I want is for Seth to come back and find me here in his chair. Glancing behind me one last time, I leave his bedroom to search his mansion.
For a moment there, I thought Amelia saw me. I was right about her. She left my room almost immediately after I did. She is too defiant for her own good, although I didn’t actually tell her to stay put. Perhaps the thought of being in my bed chamber disturbs her? A grin tugs the corners of my mouth as my mind puts the word bed right next to her.
Truthfully, I want her to become comfortable in my home and the only way to accomplish such a thing is for her to explore. Me leading her around is only going to remind her that she resides in my domain.
Seeing her draped across my chair set my body to flame. I ache to feel her in my arms. Needing a distraction, I detach myself from the tree I’ve been camouflaged in and call for Richard. It takes him mere seconds to come to me this time. Good. My influence is solidifying inside him. Soon he will be my eyes and ears in the Netherworld. It is risky to send him there, but so far he has not been spotted, even though he has been in tainted worlds for months. My hope is he wasn’t spotted when he left his world.
He stops a few feet in front of me and lowers his dark head.
“Report,” I command after a few tense moments of silence.
He doesn’t hesitate in his answer. “I followed three Erobos last night after…”
My jaw clenches, but I make myself relax. “Where were you?”
“London, my lord.”
I pace a line in front of him, clasping my hands behind my back. “What timeframe?”
“Nineteen twenty-two.”
“The event in question?”
“Premier of Vaughan Williams’ Pastoral Symphony.”
“Where?”
“Queens’ Hall.”
“Date?”
“January the Twenty-Sixth.”
Odd. The symphony never took hold. Few understood its true meaning. “The dreamer?”
Richard pauses, rubs his chin for a moment then nearly yells, “Adams! It was Marvel Adams.”
My eyes snap to his. “Adams attended the symphony?”
“No, my lord. He was driving Mister Boult.”
“Did you notice anything odd about the exchange?”
He nods. “Boult tried to hand Adams a book.”
“What book?” I ask, hopeful to find information that will help me this time.
He opens his lapel and pulls out a faded copy of The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan. A notecard sticks out from the middle of the yellowed paper. I open to the page and the folded note drifts to the ground.
I keep my hopes tightly checked as I pick it up then scan the neat calligraphy.
The aged paper crunches under the pressure of my fingers before I hurl the ball into the trees.
Richard flinches. I close my eyes tight and focus on my breath. He is young. I must not expect too much from him. Thus far all my attempts to reach Marcus Hannover have been for naught.
I need a new strategy.
I need Amelia.
When I open my eyes, Richard’s head is bowed in defeat. I clasp his shoulder. “It is not your fault. The odds were dismal at best, even under normal circumstances. Thank you for your service.”
“I didn’t know,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
“It is I who am sorry, my friend. You will now be a target. You must guard yourself against their attack.”
He sniffs and stands straighter, more man than boy in this moment. “They will not acquire me, my lord. I give you my vow.”
I offer him a smile. “Do your best. That is all I can ask of you. From now on I will find you. Do not come here again.”
After he gives a crisp nod, I dismiss him then turn my attention back to Amelia. She is now my only hope of reaching my target. I can no longer afford to give her time to adjust. Her training will pose a problem, but she is smart. She will adapt.
I set to out into the Dreamscape, but my mind is with her. My tasks are cumbersome tonight, but I grind through the motions with my team. Maybell, my recruit trainer, insists on seeing Amelia in her true form, but I’m hesitant to introduce Amelia to the multitude of alien species that make up my team. In the end, I agree with her. Amelia must acclimate quickly, and hiding the truth from her will not aid her in what will be a difficult process already.
Maybell’s questions are many, and it takes me longer than normal to settle assignments for the day. I give them vague answers when they ask about Amelia. They are as eager to see her as I am. Soon, they will. I just hope Amelia will be ready to see them.
It’s been forever since Seth left. For not the first time I wonder how long he usually spends in the Dreamscape. If all I had to come back to was an empty house, I would spend as much time in the Dreamscape as possible.
Baltec is nice and all, but he doesn’t make a very good conversational companion, even with his barks and yowls. The loneliness in this place is nearly palpable, as if the walls have soaked up the emotion throughout the years and now release oppression into the air on an hourly basis.
I’ve been exploring Seth’s palace and all I can say is I haven’t found the end of it. It’s weird, but I’m starting to think there might not be an end, just like his hallway to nowhere.
Panic settl
es into my heart at the thought of that tunnel and that weird door that has such distinctly different sides. It has to be where the key goes, but where will that hallway lead when we get the key? It’s cruel to have an escape that goes nowhere.
A part of my heart squeezes to think of Seth sitting in his room night after night, alone. No wonder he wants me here. Right now I feel his loss like I’ve misplaced my arm.
No matter how much I want to deny my connection to him, it’s there. It’s real.
I want nothing more than to ditch this place, but if I do, he’ll be alone again. Can I leave knowing that? Can I sentence him to countless years of solitude? Will it be another thousand years before he can access the mortal realm again? The idea that he might bring another girl here, no matter how many years into the future, sends a surprising jolt of jealousy through me.
Seth, Jason, he’s the same man. A man I’ve spent my nights getting to know. I’ve given him everything I could in a dream. Can I do that here?
It would be so easy for me to give in to him. The truth is, I’m losing it.
My desire for freedom has paled now that I see what he faces every day. Who knows? Maybe the Dreamscape makes up for all of this, but I sincerely doubt it.
Does he pretend this life is the illusion? If I had been stuck here for so long, I would have gone mad. Has he given in to the pressures of solitude? Is he unstable, or is he just desperate?
I really don’t know what I’m talking about because I have no reference point for this kind of loneliness. Sure, I can imagine how it would feel to have to come here after having been in a place that can offer anything day after day, knowing that other place holds no stability.
With all the grandness his house offers, it is not a home. Part of me wonders if it has ever been. Has there been laughter here? Has there been love?
The idea of Seth having been in love before sets my teeth on edge. It’s pathetic, really. What do I care? He took me from my life so he could use me, plain and simple. Yet inside I remember the warmth and safety of being in his arms, even if it was a dream. I remind myself that he was probably trying to soften me up so he could manipulate me, but what if he has true feelings for me?
Dreamscape Page 11
