Light My Fire

by Misha Carver

  “No,” I said, taking my hand back to wipe my tears. “I need to do this on my own. I just need your help to tie up the loose ends. With you being a legal secretary, I thought you might have some idea how to do it.”

  She sat there thinking for a few minutes while I pondered my future. Even if he never hit me again, I knew I couldn’t put up with his drinking habit.

  “Why don’t you come back to the office with me?” she suggested. “I’ll see if one of the lawyers has time to talk to you. They’ll know what to do.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  ~Chance~

  Seeing Alex’s face all bruised up infuriated me. How could any kind of man do that to a woman? I wanted to go to her house and tear her husband apart. But I didn’t have to. He came to me.

  She wasn’t gone an hour when a slurred yell hollered up the stairs. “Alex? I need to talk to you. Oh, Alex.”

  “Is that her drunken husband again?” Billings asked with an annoyed look on his face.

  “That would be the one,” I said as I felt the anger in me growing intensely.

  “Alex,” he called again. “Come here, baby.”

  That was it for me. I flew down the stairs ready to confront him. That sick bastard needed to pick on somebody his own size.

  “What do you want?” I asked when I approached the man standing at the bottom of the stairs swinging the bottle around. He was much smaller than I thought. He stood about six feet tall, but only weighed about one hundred and thirty pounds at best.

  “Get Alex down here,” he slurred as he tried to push past me.

  “Go home,” I said sternly as I shoved back at the scrawny little man.

  “I’m here to see my wife,” he insisted. “Now let me see her.”

  “She’s not here,” I said. “Now get out of here. I saw what you did to her, and if you get out of here fast, I won’t tear you apart.”

  “If you had to live with her, you’d take a round out of her too,” he laughed as he kept swinging his bottle.

  “Keep it up, little man,” I said as he started to walk away.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  ~Alexandria~

  “Where the fuck were you?” Mike sputtered when I walked in the door. I wiped his spit off my face before answering.

  “At work, where do you think I was?”

  “I went to the station, and some asshole told me you weren’t there,” he said, laughing.

  “Oh, it must have been while I was running errands,” I lied. I couldn’t let him know what I’d been up to.

  “Yeah, he told me you told them all about the bruises on your face,” he added.

  “I told them I fell up the stairs,” I said. It was partially true.

  “No, Alex. He said you told them what I did to you. Does it make you feel good to make me look like the bad guy in all this? Does it?” he yelled as he grabbed my arm.

  “Mike, I didn’t tell them anything. I swear,” I cried, trying to break myself free from his grip.

  “Don’t give me that shit, Alex,” he said as he threw me down on the floor and started hitting me. I threw my hands up to try to protect my face, but the blows just kept on coming.

  Just when I thought he really was going to kill me, my cell phone rang. We both looked up and saw Emily standing in the doorway watching us while she cried. We looked at each other and then back at her before he climbed off me.

  I scrambled to my feet and grabbed my phone out of my purse while Mike went to console her. The station, I thought when I saw the number, this time I really am saved by the bell.

  I threw my arms around Emily and calmed her down before telling Mike I had to go to another fire.

  “Like hell you are,” he said.

  “It’s my job, Mike. I have to go,” I said as I walked out of the house and got in the car.

  ***

  “Forget your sunglasses, O’Neil?” Chance asked when I arrived at the station.

  I reached up and touched my face. I’d been in such a hurry, I hadn’t even thought to cover it, and the wounds were so much worse now.

  “You could say that,” I said as I went to grab my gear while I tried to ignore him.

  “Have you given any more thought to what we talked about earlier?” he asked.

  “What the hell, Chance? I thought I could trust you. Why did you tell him I wasn’t here?”

  “What? Is this my fault? Alex, I didn’t mean...”

  “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I should have let him know where I was going.”

  “Listen to yourself. You didn’t make him hit you. It’s not your fault at all. It’s his fault. He did this, not you.”

  “Did you also tell him that I told you that he hit me?” I asked him as I headed towards the stairs.

  He looked down and touched the side of his nose with this thumb. “I did, and I’m sorry. I was just so angry that anyone would do that to a woman. I wanted to let him know that it wasn’t okay, ever.”

  I nodded my head and started walking down the stairs to get on the truck and head off to the fire. I’d have to be careful what I shared around work if I wanted to stay safe at home.

  “Hey, Alex,” he called as I headed out the door.

  “Yeah,” I yelled back up.

  “I don’t think you should go on this run. Why don’t you stay here?”

  I stood there frozen in the doorway staring up the stairwell. Who was he to tell me what runs I should go on?

  “What do you mean?” I asked, grabbing hold of the railing and starting back up the stairs.

  “I don’t think you should go,” he repeated.

  I ran up the stairs to make sure I’d heard him right. I was good at my job, and to be held back felt like a punishment.

  “Why shouldn’t I go?” I asked him when I reached the top.

  “I don’t think your head’s in the right place,” he said as he reached out to grab my shoulders.

  I flinched away, not because I didn’t want him to touch me, but because I was in such pain. There wasn’t a square inch of my body that wasn’t covered in bruises.

  “Does it really hurt that bad?” he asked as he steered me toward a chair.

  I nodded as the tears started coming again.

  “I’ve got to go, but why don’t you sit here until you’re ready to drive home?” he asked.

  I sat there in solitude, staring at the walls for what seemed like an eternity before I got up to make myself a coffee. How did I wind up here, I thought to myself, sitting alone in a station house while everyone else is out fighting the fire?

  At one time my life was so simple and easy. I got up and went to work, and then I went home. Over the years, it gradually became harder until it got to the point where it was almost impossible.

  Sit here until I’m ready to drive home, yeah right. If I go back there tonight, he’ll kill me. Allison had mentioned I could go there, but I didn’t feel like being around people, and the station looked as good as anywhere else.

  It’s peaceful and quiet, I thought to myself as I sipped on my coffee, just what I need right now. I might be better off just spending the night here, and worry about tomorrow when the time comes.

  As the hours went by I realized the guys would be coming back to celebrate as soon as they put the fire out. The last thing I needed was noise and confusion. Chance’s office was out of the way, but I worried that he’d go in there, and I didn’t want him to hear me snore. He’d already seen me looking terrible, but I didn’t want to make matters worse.

  Finally, I decided on the shower room. Nobody would be going in there at night. I could curl up with a few towels as a mattress and I’d sleep like a baby until morning.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  ~Chance~

  After we put the fire out and returned to the station, I noticed Alex’s car was still sitting in the parking lot. I’d told her to drive home when she was ready, but hours had gone by, so I hadn’t figured she would still be there.

  “What’s up with O�
�Neil?” Anderson asked, motioning toward her car.

  “I’m not sure,” I said as I walked over to take a look. Billings and Anderson followed me and we checked it out. Nothing seemed unusual, and there was no sign of a struggle.

  “She must have decided to walk home,” Anderson said.

  “She was in quite a state,” I said. “It wouldn’t surprise me.”

  “I can’t wait to get to bed,” Billings said. “That fire took a lot out of me.”

  “Me too,” Anderson said as the others all agreed.

  “I can’t,” I said. “I’m all covered in black shit and grime. I need to take a shower before I hit the sheets.”

  “I can’t do it, man,” Billings said. “Showers can wait until morning.”

  “Yeah, maybe you’re right,” I agreed while I held the door open for them.

  ***

  I sat there on the edge of my bunk thinking about Alex. I wish I knew how to save her from her wreck of a marriage and that beast, but I didn’t. She wouldn’t let me.

  She was too beautiful to waste her life on someone like that. She had too much going for her. I couldn’t understand why she’d stay in that kind of a relationship for the life of me.

  I scratched my head, reliving the last couple of weeks in my mind. I finally get reunited with the girl of my dreams, she hates me for taking a job out from under her, and then she has a deadbeat husband. Why do these things always happen to me?

  It’s just the weariness talking, I told myself. Tomorrow you’ll pull yourself together. Just keep it professional and don’t lose it again like you did with her husband this morning.

  Just thinking about him made my jaw tighten and my muscles flex. I pulled back and punched the wall hard.

  “Fuck,” I whispered loudly when my fist hit a stud, leaving me with bloody knuckles. Thank God I had a private bunk. All of the other guys bunked together, but the chief always had his own bunk. If the other guys had seen that they’d be questioning my mental stability.

  I sat back down on the bed and started taking off my socks as the blood trickled down my hand. I can’t do this, I thought. I really need a shower. I rubbed the back of my neck before standing up to head off to clean the soot and grime off my exhausted body.

  While the hot water poured over me, I sang away. I’ve always sung in the shower. I don’t know why. It’s just an old habit from childhood. Back then I sang “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” Nowadays, it’s whatever’s playing a lot on the radio that I can’t get out of my head.

  I could feel the grime being released from my body as the smell of the soot washed away. Giving my hair a final rinse, I leaned back and let the hot water run over my face. I knew I’d sleep much better now that I’d cleaned myself up.

  “Fuck,” I said as I stepped out of the shower. I’d been so eager to hose myself off that I’d forgotten to grab a towel on my way in. I hadn’t even turned on the light switch by the door, which made me even more of an idiot.

  I knelt down and started feeling my way around. I figured I’d either find a towel or the far wall so I could turn the light on. Either way, I’d be better off.

  Bingo, I thought to myself when I felt the plush terry cloth between my fingers. I gave it a tug, but it didn’t budge. I pulled harder, but it still didn’t move. Finally, I grabbed it with both hands and pulled with all my might.

  A loud shriek frightened me, and I fell backwards on my bare ass on the floor with my fingers still clinging to the towel. The lights flicked on suddenly. Alex was kneeling over me fully clothed with her face dangerously close to my balls. She laughed hysterically as she stared down at my naked body.

  My eyes darted over to the doorway, where my men all stood by the light switch with their eyes wide and jaws hanging open.

  “Go away,” I grumbled before they turned around and left Alex and I alone.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked her.

  “Sleeping,” she said. “What are you doing here?”

  “What any normal person does in the shower room. Taking a shower. Now give me that towel.”

  “Sure,” she said, handing it over so I could cover myself.

  “I thought I told you to go home as soon as you were able to drive. You damn near scared the hell out of me.”

  “I didn’t want to go back there, so I figured I’d spend the night here with you guys. I didn’t see any harm in it.”

  “There’s no harm in it, but you could tell a guy if you’re going to sleep in the shower room.”

  “What’s the matter, Friedman? Afraid I got to see all of your little secrets?”

  “Hey, it’s not small. It’s way bigger than average and you know it,” I said, turning around and opening the towel.

  She covered her eyes, trying to shield herself from getting another view. “I’ll take your word for it,” she said.

  “And what was that laughter all about?” I asked. “The last thing a man wants to hear the first time a woman sees him naked is her laughing.”

  “I always laugh when I’m nervous,” she explained. “I was taken by surprise and I was so shocked to see you lying there that it just set me off.”

  “Do it again, and I’ll give you more pushups,” I warned her with a grin on my face.

  “Yes, sir,” she laughed. “Can I go back to sleep now?”

  “Yes, but why sleep there when we can hook you up with a bunk?” I asked her as I looked at her makeshift bed on the cold, hard floor.

  “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather be alone,” she said softly.

  “Suit yourself,” I said as I wrapped the towel around my waist and headed out of the room.

  Just as I expected, all of the guys were waiting for me on the other side of the door.

  “What was going on in there?” Billings asked.

  “Just grabbing a towel,” I said as I walked by toward my bunk.

  “Sure,” he laughed as the others followed suit.

  I lay in my bed listening to the sounds of their whispers and giggles. From the sounds of it that was the most action this station had seen in a long time, and it wasn’t much.

  She laughed at me, I thought as I drifted off to sleep. She actually laughed.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  ~Alexandria~

  At the crack of dawn the sunlight filled the room and burned my eyes. I tried to cover my head with my pillow, but I couldn’t find it. I fumbled around for a few minutes reaching for it before I realized where I was.

  My back ached from sleeping on the hardwood floor and there was no getting back to sleep. I sat up and stretched while I tried to get my bearings. Had I really seen Chance naked the night before, or was that a dream?

  I wracked my brain trying to think, but the only thoughts that kept coming to my mind were of him. His hard muscular body, and his six-pack, those toned arms and legs. Oh, how I’d love to be wrapped up in him, I thought, to feel him against me.

  It was real, it wasn’t a dream. He had been upset with me for laughing when I hadn’t even seen his balls or his dick. I’d been so shocked that my eyes hadn’t even wandered there yet when he’d covered himself with his hands.

  All I saw were the strong arms that I wanted around me, and the rippled torso that I wanted on top of me. How will I ever face him now? I thought. Everyone had been standing in the doorway. It was all coming back to me. Things around the station were going to be awkward at best.

  Oh God, I thought as I folded up the towels I’d used for a mattress and headed out to the other room to make a coffee.

  “Sleep well, did you, O’Neil?” Anderson asked when I got out there.

  “Like a baby,” I answered. “You’re up early.”

  “Every morning. It’s good for the soul. Hours spent sleeping are hours wasted.”

  “Sleep is a wonderful thing,” I said as I walked over to the table and sat down.

  “People waste years sleeping,” he said. “Think of how much living you miss out on. I go on three or four hou
rs a night tops.”

  “I couldn’t do it,” I said, smiling. “I’d die from exhaustion.”

  “I thought that too when I was younger,” he said. “Minimal sleep isn’t for everyone, but it works for me. So what’s going on with you and the chief?”

  “Oh, so that’s the real reason you’re up so early. You’re hoping to catch the scoop.”

  “Is there a scoop to catch?” he asked as he set his cup down and leaned across the table.

  “No,” I said. “There’s nothing going on between Friedman and I at all.”

  “Then what was that last night?” he asked with a coy look on his face.

  “Just an inopportune moment,” I said as I stood up to go get the newspaper.

  Before long the others came out and joined us at the table. I hadn’t realized they all woke up so early. I usually arrived at the station at eight o’clock, but it was still only six thirty.

  “You guys sure are early risers,” I commented as I looked over at the clock.

  “You’re just a slacker, O’Neil,” Anderson laughed.

  “How was the fire last night?” I asked, sorry that I’d missed out on the call.

  “It took a lot out of us, but we managed to put it out,” Billings said. “Another warehouse fire.”

  “O’Neil, the bathrooms are disgusting. Get in there and clean them,” Chance yelled when he walked into the room.

  Everybody turned and looked at him, shocked at him taking that tone with me. It was early, but I was up for the fight.

  “Bathrooms aren’t in my job description,” I said as I took another sip of my coffee.

  “Get on it,” he said as he reached over and grabbed the cup out of my hand.

  I kept my grip on my cup while I stood up. “What the hell?” I asked. “Why are you doing this?”

  “The bathrooms need attention,” he said, walking over to the coffee maker.

  “Why single me out? I don’t see you assigning anyone else to the dirty work,” I said as I marched over to him.

  “Yeah, well, nobody else laughed at my...my private areas last night,” he whispered in a low voice.

  “Your private areas,” I laughed. “So that’s what this is about, your pride?” I asked, taking his cup and setting it down on the counter loudly.

  “Yes,” he whispered. “It’s a matter of pride. Do you have a problem with that?”