by Misha Carver
“It’s okay,” he said as he held me and rocked me gently while I trembled in his arms. “Let’s get you to the couch.”
I nodded, and he slowly raised me to my feet and led me over to the gray overstuffed sofa in the middle of the room. I rested my head against the back and stared at the ceiling, hoping the queasy feeling would go away.
“Do you want me to make you a coffee?” he asked after he took my shoes off and rested my feet up on the coffee table.
“Tea,” I answered without looking at him.
“Pardon?” he said.
“Tea. Coffee wakes me up, tea calms me down. The tea bags are in the cupboard over the sink, and the kettle’s on the stove.”
“Got it. Let me guess. The milk’s in the fridge. Do you take sugar?” he asked on his way into the kitchen.
“Eww, no. Sugar would ruin it. Grab yourself a coffee if you want.”
A few minutes later he came back in with a coffee and a tea, and we sat there together silently while I stared off into space. He knew I was grateful that he was there even if I wasn’t capable of verbalizing it. I wasn’t capable of anything right then.
I just kept staring and thinking. My mind ran in circles while I thought about everything I had to do. I needed to get hold of Allison about babysitting. Hiring someone to clean up the house was a necessity because I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it myself. It was too overwhelming.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
~Chance~
Women, they’re so complicated. Just when you think you have them all figured out, you realize you don’t know anything at all. I run out the door to save Alex, and she gets mad at me. Downright angry. What’s up with that?
You’d think she’d be grateful that I rescued her, but no. She wasn’t. At least not at first. I don’t know who was more shocked when she slapped me, me or her. All I know is that it stung. She must have put all of her pent-up frustrations into that swing, because I expected to carry welts from her fingers for months afterward.
Once everything hit her, she broke down and realized that she was finally free from that bastard. I drove her home, where she broke down again. I couldn’t believe it when we walked inside.
I knew she’d lived in terror, but seeing the aftermath of the violence horrified me. Everything was in disarray, and seeing her blood smeared everywhere, I can’t even describe what it did to me.
I could picture her struggling, imagine her trying to get away as her blood trickled and smeared everywhere. Just the thought of it made me want to destroy her husband. But she was safe now, and that was what mattered.
It affected her in a different way than it affected me. I don’t know if she was reliving it or what, but the second we walked through the door she collapsed on the floor.
I managed to get her to relax on the couch with a cup of tea before she fell asleep.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
~Alexandria~
I yawned and grabbed for my blanket but it wasn’t there. Reaching up to massage my aching neck, I realized I wasn’t in my bed. I opened my eyes and saw that I was sleeping on the couch sitting up.
Gazing around, I wondered if Mike being in jail was just a dream. I closed my eyes and shook my head before opening them again.
“Hello sleepyhead,” Chance said when I opened them again. “Can I get you another cup of tea or a coffee this time?”
“A coffee,” I said as I stretched my arms and sat forward.
It was real, I thought to myself. Why is Chance still here? What was he doing, watching me sleep?
“I cleaned up a bit while you were sleeping,” he said while he was puttering around in the kitchen. “I thought it would make you feel better if the mess was gone when Emily got home from school.”
Oh God, Emily. I’d forgotten she’d seen the struggle the night before. She would have seen my blood on the floor last night and this morning before school too.
“Thank you,” I answered. “I guess you’re my hero now, after rescuing me and all.”
“Hey, you would have rescued yourself,” he said when he handed me my coffee.
“Like you said, I wasn’t doing such a great job of it,” I said.
“Sometimes we all need someone to look out for us,” Chance said. “Maybe we came back into each other’s lives for a reason. I came back into yours to look out for you, and you came back into mine to show me that women aren’t all crazy.” He walked around the couch and sat beside me while he sipped his coffee.
“Speak for yourself. You came back into mine to steal the promotion I’d worked hard for right out from under me,” I laughed.
“Hey, that was the catalyst that got me here when you needed me. The reason isn’t important. What’s important is that I’m here now,” he said as he stared deeply into my eyes.
I reached out to touch his hand. His strong fingers were so rough and yet so smooth. As I traced the outline of his hand, I kept looking up at him. I’d known him forever, but somehow I felt like I was meeting him for the first time.
He reached up and touched my cheek and I leaned forward to kiss him. I longed to feel his soft lips touching mine, and I needed comfort at that moment more than anything. He started leaning toward me too, and the heat inside me intensified as our lips were just about to touch…until the front door opened.
“Emily,” I signed to her. “How was school today?”
“Good,” she signed back. “I got an A on my math test. Who is he?”
“He’s a friend of mommy’s,” I signed.
“Where’s daddy?” she signed.
I thought for a second. I hadn’t anticipated the question. I should have, but I’d had so much going through my mind that it hadn’t even dawned on me to be ready for this.
“Daddy’s gone on a trip, honey,” I signed. I figured that would give me time to figure out how to explain everything.
“When will he be back?” she signed.
“I’m not sure,” I signed back.
“I don’t want him to come back,” she started signing faster. “He hurts you and he smells. Don’t let him come back, Mommy. Please, don’t let daddy come home.”
“That’s amazing,” Chance said after Emily went to her room. “The way you two talk like that. How did you learn that?”
“When you have a deaf family member, you learn to sign pretty quickly if you want to communicate,” I said.
“I guess,” he said. “I should go and leave you two alone. I’m sure you have a lot to talk about.”
“Thank you,” I said, “for everything you did today. I really mean it.”
“I know you do,” he said as we got to the door.
“Do you think,” I said, “that we could finish sometime what we started on the couch?”
He turned and smiled at me. I could have sworn he was blushing.
“Alex, I like you, I really like you. But you just got out of your marriage. Right now, today, it would be cheap. I should say no, never, because I’m your boss, but what do you say we date first?” Then he knelt down and kissed me on the forehead.
I stared up at him in disbelief. Was he the sweetest guy I’d ever met? Most guys would’ve taken advantage of my vulnerability, and yet here he was saying he wanted to date me. He really wanted to date me.
For the rest of the day I wavered back and forth. Part of me was excited that he wanted to date me, but I also felt guilty that I barely had Mike out the door and I was already planning on dating someone else.
“The love was lost a long time ago,” I told myself. “Mike wasn’t good for you. He was a lush and he beat you. Go out and enjoy yourself. You deserve it.”
But then that other voice would start up, the little one that makes you feel like crap. “Your husband’s in jail and you’re thinking of dating,” it said. “You’re a horrible wife.”
After Emily went to bed and the house was silent, the voices got louder and I couldn’t stand it. It felt like the walls were closing in on me.
“Allison,�
�� I said when she answered the phone, “I need to talk.”
“Can it wait until tomorrow?” she asked.
“I guess, if you have something planned,” I said through my shaking voice.
“Never mind,” she said. “I’ll be right there.”
***
“You look terrible,” Allison said when I opened the door and she looked at me.
“Thanks,” I said while I took her jacket and hung it up for her.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just can’t believe what that jerk’s done to you. Where is he, anyway?”
“In jail,” I said quietly as I looked down at the floor.
“In jail?” she asked. “It’s about time you called the police.”
“It wasn’t me,” I admitted as we walked into the living room.
“What happened?” she asked as she sat down on the armchair in the corner.
“He came down to the station again to ask about the bank accounts...”
“Oh no,” she said, putting her hand over her mouth.
“Oh yes,” I said. “I tried to play stupid, but he started hitting me and kicking me. Chance came out and whaled him. The police came out of nowhere and took all three of us down to the station, and now Mike’s in jail.”
“Exactly where he should be,” she said matter-of-factly. “You won’t believe me now, Alex, but you really are better off.”
“That’s what everyone keeps telling me,” I said. “I was ending it anyway. I just wanted it to be on my terms, you know?”
“I know, honey, but however it happened, it was for the best.”
“I know,” I said, nodding my head. “I’m going to have to take you up on your offer to watch Emily now.”
“Consider it done,” she said. “I told you I’d help any way I could. Something else is bothering you. What is it?”
“It’s Chance,” I said, shaking my head and looking off to the side.
“What about him?” she asked.
“Nothing. Everything. He brought me home from the station today after it was over.”
“Good. I’m glad you had someone with you.”
“Now I have to walk to work tomorrow,” I said, playing with the arm of the couch.
“Stop trying to find the negative in everything,” she said. “It’s not a long walk, and he gave you a ride home when you were going through a rough time. Don’t get all caught up in the fact that you’ll have to walk. Be grateful for the ride when you needed it.”
“I know,” I said. “While he was here he made me tea. I fell asleep and he cleaned up,” I said, spreading my arms out.
“He sounds like a keeper to me,” she said, smiling.
“Stop it,” I said. “My husband hasn’t even been gone for twenty-four hours and Chance and I almost kissed on the couch after I woke up.”
“Really?” she asked. “I say go for it.”
“Allison, it’s not that easy. Didn’t you hear the part about my husband not being gone for twenty-four hours?”
“Alex, relax. Your husband wasn’t a husband. You need to remember that. Now tell me about this kiss. You said almost. What happened?”
“Emily came home from school.”
“Nothing like a child to spoil the mood,” she nodded with a giggle.
“Actually, he was fascinated watching us sign to each other. But then he had to leave.”
“Did he say anything about the kiss?” she asked as she stared at me.
“That’s the thing. He said he wants to date me,” I said sheepishly.
“What’s so bad about that?” she asked.
“I can’t date. I have a husband,” I said. “I want to date him so bad. God, Allison, I’m so attracted to him. Every time I look at him, I want to kiss him, I want to feel him touching me, but I know it’s so wrong.”
“Alex, stop thinking like that. Mike is not the man you married anymore. You were planning to leave anyway. You’d already put the wheels in motion.”
“I know, but...”
“No buts,” she said. “No matter how the marriage ended, it was going to end soon. You’re free to date whoever you want. Don’t let guilt hold you back.”
“It’s not that, it’s just...”
“It’s just what?” she asked, staring at me and waiting for an answer.
I rested my elbows on my knees and put my head in my hands. I didn’t have an answer for her.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
~Chance~
“Where’s O’Neil?” Billings asked as he drank his morning coffee and read the newspaper.
“She’s going to need a few days off,” I answered as I rubbed my neck.
“Did somebody say my name?” Alex asked as she walked into the station and threw her purse down on a chair.
I turned around, shocked to see her standing there. She’s in good spirits by the looks of things, I thought to myself. Maybe being here with the guys is good for her right now.
“Do you want a coffee?” I asked.
“No, I can get my own,” she said as she joined me at the coffee maker.
“What are you doing here?” I asked her. “You can have all the time off you need.”
“I know,” she said. “I woke up this morning and felt like coming in. I hope that’s okay with you.”
“Yeah, it’s fine,” I answered.
“Besides,” she giggled. “You still need help with the paperwork.”
“That I do,” I laughed. “Let’s get started on that after our caffeine fix.”
“Yes, sir,” she said, looking up at me and smiling.
“How are you feeling today?” Billings asked her after we went and sat down at the table with the others.
“No worse for the wear,” she answered. “Any fires after I left yesterday?”
“Not one. They must’ve known our star firefighter was off for the day,” Anderson said.
“Don’t make me blush,” she said, giggling.
“I was referring to Friedman,” Anderson laughed.
“You idiot,” she laughed.
After we finished our coffees, Alex and I made another and then she joined me in my office to teach me how to do the paperwork. The way everything had played out, I felt guilty for continuing my ploy, but I’d gone too far.
“So this goes in this field,” I said, shaking my head and pretending I didn’t understand.
“Yes, it’s easy,” she said. “And then you put this over there.”
“Okay, that makes sense. And then it all totals over here?”
“You’re starting to get the hang of it,” she said excitedly.
“That’s because I have a great teacher,” I said. “You should take a break for lunch soon.”
“Do want to go somewhere for lunch?” she asked.
I cringed as soon as she asked. I had mentioned dating the night before, but I didn’t want her to be the one to ask me out. It just didn’t feel right.
“I can’t,” I said, staring at my computer screen. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye and saw her crushed expression. “But I’d love to take you to dinner tonight,” I added. “That is, if you’d like to go.”
“Dinner? Sure. What time?” she asked.
“I’ll pick you up around eight.”
“Eight sounds perfect,” she said, smiling as she walked out the door.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
~ Alexandria~
“Allison,” I said breathlessly when I ran in the door after work at the end of the day.
“What is it?” she asked. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” I managed to get out. “But can you stay a little later?”
“Sure,” she said as she took my purse from me. “What’s up?”
“Chance asked me out for dinner. He’s picking me up at eight.”
“A date with Chance. I’m all in. I’ll stay as late as you need me to,” she said. “Now let’s make you look spectacular.”
There was no one I would ra
ther have had to help me get ready. Allison should have been a beauty queen, and she knew tricks that I bet some makeup artists didn’t know. I just lay back on the couch and let her work her magic.
After a soothing aloe mask that took some of the sting away from my wounds, she applied another one that she said would help keep my skin supple. She said I should use it all the time to keep my skin soft and smooth.
“What’s in it?” I asked her.
“One quarter cup of honey, and one quarter cup of brown sugar,” she said. “I’m just going to let it sit on your face for thirty minutes and wipe it away.”
After the thirty minutes were up, I was surprised at how soft and smooth my skin felt. “Wow,” I said. “Is that ever nice.”
“Honey is a natural humectant,” she said. “It helps hold moisture in. The brown sugar works as a moisturizing exfoliant. When I wiped it away using circular motions, it sloughed off any dead skin.”
“How often can I do this?” I asked her as I kept touching my face.
“A couple of times a week,” she said. “Let’s get to work on your makeup now.”
She reached into her oversized purse and pulled out more makeup than I’d ever owned in my life. I had trouble fathoming that she could possibly even wear that much makeup.
“My makeup is in the bathroom,” I said, motioning toward the hallway.
“For that,” she said, “you need a heavy-duty concealer and foundation.”
I nodded and watched her poke around through her products until she smiled in approval at some bottle and applied the liquid in it to a sponge. “Lie back,” she ordered.
“There we go,” she said. “That’s perfect.”
I couldn’t see, so I had to take her word for it. I knew she wouldn’t steer me wrong. I let her play around with her brushes, enjoying the attention until she finally stopped.
“Are you ready?” she asked as she held up a mirror in front of me.
I looked in the mirror and hardly recognized myself. For days, all I’d seen in the bathroom mirror were bruises and cuts. It had gotten to the point where I tried not to look anymore. But now as I stared a beautiful woman looked back at me.
“Thank you,” I whispered as I stared at my reflection.
“Now, what are you going to wear?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s just dinner. I haven’t even thought about it.”
“Dinner with a guy you want to impress,” she said. “You have to look fantastic. Let’s go look in your closet.”
