As Aris paused in the doorway of the tower, Selia had to hold herself back from running after him. If he believed she would reject him because of the torment he’d gone through, he was mistaken. And if he had bonded, she needed to know. Either way, one thing was perfectly clear—she would never stop loving him.
Chapter 5
Aris reached the entrance before his resolve gave out. He dug his fingers into the wooden door frame and peered into the dim interior of the tower. But it wasn’t dark now that he’d moved out of the sunlight. High windows allowed natural light to stream in, giving the room a soft glow. There was a long workbench along the left wall, a stone table at the back, and a bed near a staircase to the right. No healer, though.
As soon as he’d had the thought, someone started down the spiral stairs. Aris froze, hoping the healer wasn’t another woman with Perim’s coloring, but it soon became obvious that the healer was neither female nor blond. A stern-faced, auburn-haired male came to a halt a few paces from the door, his brow raised in question.
“Are you coming in?” the healer asked.
“I cannot tolerate being enclosed in the dark,” Aris found himself admitting beneath the healer’s steady regard. “I was kept in a cave for over six years.”
“I am Lial,” the other man said. At a quick gesture, the mage lights dangling from sconces brightened until the room was filled with light. “Lyr gave warning of your arrival, but he was unable to tell me much about your condition beyond what happened outside.”
Aris snorted. “I think it was fairly obvious that I had a breakdown.”
“Panic attack,” Lial corrected softly. “I am not a mind-healer, but I have seen the results of trauma. How long has it been since your escape?”
Aris’s grip loosened on the door frame. “One week.”
“Five days of freedom would hardly be sufficient for your mind to recover.” Lial took a cautious step closer. “Do you have physical injuries? Would you allow me to examine you?”
Suddenly, a helpless rage surged through Aris, stealing his breath. The healer, the others in the clearing—they looked at him like he was a wild animal, ready to snap at any moment. Next, the healer would hold out a treat and try to coax him. Was he really that messed up? Aris lifted his chin and shoved away from the door, striding toward a wooden stool beside the workbench. The bed was too far from the exit, but he would sit down and be examined, iron blast it.
“If this causes you discomfort—”
“Everything causes me discomfort,” Aris snapped.
“Fair enough.” The healer chuckled. “No need to be angry at me. At least not yet. I’ll annoy you legitimately if you stay around long enough, or so I’m told.”
“Healers often have that effect.”
“Ah, but I have a talent for it.” If the confession bothered Lial, his wry smile gave nothing away. Shrugging, he moved closer. “No more evading. May I scan you with my magic? I assure you that it causes no pain.”
“I know that.” Aris lifted a brow. “I have been healed before. I’m not a child.”
“I’ve had patients from beyond Moranaia of late,” Lial said. “I’ve learned not to assume.”
Interesting but irrelevant. Aris braced himself, fighting the anxiety of being in contact with another person’s energy. “Just get it over with.”
Despite his initially tentative approach, Lial didn’t hesitate. Aris squeezed his eyes closed against the blue glow and gripped the bottom of the stool as the light settled around his body. Peace rushed in with it, easing his clenched muscles. His mind floated, much as his body did when Kezari carried him across the sky. He let go and drifted.
Lial had grown adept at stifling anger while working, but for the first time in centuries, he struggled to maintain control. Aris’s body was riddled with signs of abuse, from a just-healed gash across his thigh and side to bones that had been broken and improperly set. Typically, elven bodies healed from even serious injuries with a modicum of care. For Aris’s bones to be misaligned, his tormentor would have had to warp his limbs out of alignment and leave them there while they healed. Probably stretched out while chained.
Stifling another surge of fury, Lial proceeded to Aris’s mind. The maelstrom there would need a mind-healer to fix, preferably with a mage present to guard against Aris’s power overflowing. Lial had a small amount of mind-healing talent, but not enough to touch this. So many pathways created by torment and fear. Aris must have a strong will to be so lucid. With a sigh, Lial did what little he could to ease the panic. If there hadn’t been a dragon outside, waiting impatiently, he would have rendered his patient unconscious until a mind-healer arrived. It went against his every instinct to allow Aris to suffer more, but in this, he had no choice.
Lial gathered more energy and healed the cuts and strained muscles he’d found on his first pass. Then he did what he could for the misaligned bones. Most would cause no active trouble, only leave a weakness that would make future breaks easier, and a few others he was able to smooth out. But the large bone in the right thigh and one in the left forearm would need to be rebroken and set again.
Not today. With his patient’s permission, Lial would undertake that after the mind-healer arrived—and while Aris was sedated. Lial had had plenty of recent practice restructuring bone after fixing Lynia’s spine, so the task itself would be more draining than difficult. Hopefully, Aris would agree before the damaged bones caused him trouble.
After a quick pass to ensure that any injury to the organs had healed, Lial pulled his consciousness fully back to his own body. But he didn’t remove his healing magic while he opened his eyes. How could he reawaken his patient to the torment of existing with such scars? The tension and stifled fear had smoothed from Aris’s face, and his half-slitted gaze was clear of stress. It would be a difficult return to awareness, but neither of them had a choice.
Muttering a curse, Lial lowered his spell as slowly as he could. It was always his nature to heal, no matter his joking threats to the contrary, but for the first time in a long time, he wanted to hurt someone. As each line of anxiety returned to his patient’s face, the urge to annihilate Aris’s tormentor grew. Too bad Lial would never have the chance.
As the light faded, so did Aris’s moment of peace. He tumbled back into his body in a slow fall, and though he could tell that the healer tried to give him time to adapt, there was no stopping reality. He felt…different, and his heart gave a hard leap until he realized that it was a good different. He’d grown accustomed to a constant ache, varying degrees of pain that shifted rather than disappeared. Almost all of that was gone. Even his emotions seemed a bit steadier.
Emphasis on a bit.
Aris focused on the healer’s angry face. “That bad?”
“I was able to fix everything but two misaligned bones.” Lial’s lips thinned. “And the bulk of the damage to your mind. That will require a specialist.”
Aris frowned. “Bones?”
“Do you not remember having them broken?”
“I do.” Aris shuddered as he tried to concentrate on the knowledge of the events rather than the actual memories. “I thought such injuries heal quickly.”
Lial gave a sharp nod. “They do, but it was not a boon in this case. You must have been held in a position where they couldn’t realign correctly.”
His very bones. Aris’s shoulders slumped as despair rather than anger filled him. If the healer couldn’t fix them, he would carry those remnants of her always. “Will it cause me future trouble?”
“Not if you let me correct the problem.” Aris glanced up at those words. “Your mind is damaged enough that I must bring a mind-healer here. Once you’ve undergone that treatment, I’ll render you unconscious, rebreak the bones, and heal them properly. I will not do that in your current state. Even unaware, it resembles torture too closely. It’s bad enough that you must remain awake and aware until a mind-healer can be found.”
Aris winced at the blunt truth, but it was prefer
able to the alternative. “I appreciate your candor. I did not expect it after your initial caution.”
Lial’s brows rose. “Did you expect me to be rough with a patient suffering such severe anxiety?”
“I did not give it much rational thought,” Aris admitted.
“Do so in future.” Despite the gruffness of his tone, Lial’s eyes pinched with concern. “And do not give up. I sense the risk of that in you, and I will warn your dragon as such. Were she not insistent on your presence, you would be in a deep sleep instead of speaking with me. Do anything rash, and I will be dealing with a dragon’s wrath over your unconscious body.”
Kezari’s voice popped into his mind as though summoned. “The wrath will be at you, skizik, if you attempt to harm yourself.”
It seemed she hadn’t quite left his mind after all.
Aris rubbed the back of his neck. “I will do my best. But I must know this. Was there…other damage? I worry that this darkness has spread to my soul.”
Lial’s eyes narrowed. “I am no priest, but I detected nothing like that in you. Being abused does not make you an abuser.”
But having an evil soulbonded might. Aris opened his mouth to voice that concern, but his throat closed around the words. He couldn’t confess that. Everyone already regarded him warily. If they knew the other half of his soul was a twisted, torturous woman, they would watch him with fear, too. He couldn’t bear it.
“Thank you,” Aris finally managed.
“Send for me at any hour.” Lial gestured at the door. “Now, I suggest you rejoin your dragon before she storms my tower. I will search for a suitable mind-healer.”
Aris shoved himself off the stool. “There are things… I would prefer another male.”
With a grimace, Lial nodded. “I will see that it is so.”
The benefit of the healing became obvious when Aris strode for the door. Now, only a slight ache in his right thigh remained, and his muscles flexed easily with each step. Some pain wasn’t obvious until it was gone, he supposed. Although anxiety still threaded its claws into his heart, his physical body felt so much better that his mental burden grew lighter, too.
Perhaps he could make it. Perhaps there was hope.
Selia tapped her fingers along her crossed arm and watched the dragon pace. The longer she was in Kezari’s presence, the more obvious the dragon’s otherness became. She bore an elven form, but she lacked typical facial expressions and physical motions. Although pacing, it seemed, was universal. Kezari’s feet slammed down with a force that would have razed buildings in her dragon form. Wordlessly, she’d circled the clearing in front of the healer’s tower countless times in less than a mark’s time.
“Did Meli find something useful?” Selia asked Lyr softly. “She was quite intent on bringing you that book.”
Lyr nodded. “A record of the treaty, complete with commentary.”
Well, that was curious. A forty-thousand-year-old record in their library? “I did not expect that to be housed here.”
“It is not the original,” Lyr said. “That is at the palace under preservation. But my ancestors deemed it prudent to keep a full copy close to the portal. My mother found the passage I thought I remembered from my studies, and Meli rushed it over. I suppose she could have taken her time.”
“Poor Aris.” A lump formed in her throat. “The way he reacted to Meli. To all of us, really. I don’t know what’s going to happen next.”
Kezari drew to a halt, her head whipping around. “He’s going to come with me through the portal.”
Lyr frowned. “We will have this discussion later.”
“You are a mage?” Kezari asked Selia, not acknowledging Lyr’s words. “We will need you, too. This will be easier. Faster. You will come. But perhaps we must bring your young to guard.”
Selia stared at the dragon’s closed expression. “Do dragons jest?”
“Not in this manner.” Kezari startled her with a toothy grin. “We need a mage, but young must be guarded.”
“Enough, Kezari.”
Aris strode from the doorway of the healer’s tower with more confidence than he had entered, and although his face was still lined with tension, something about him was more…himself. She wanted to ask how much the healer had been able to help, but he avoided her gaze when he drew near.
Perhaps she no longer had the right.
“We need to explain the situation rationally to the Myern,” Aris said. “And to Selia. She is a powerful mage.”
Kezari stared at him. “I will go into the dwelling if it is required, but I do not like it. I do not feel safe under so many trees.”
“I am not fond of the concept, myself,” Aris said.
“It is the most private option,” Lyr interjected smoothly. “Which I believe you both desire. This is a large estate with many guards, not to mention residents. My study is secure.”
“Very well,” Kezari said, and without another word, she started down the path toward the main estate.
Lyr turned to follow, and suddenly, Selia was alone with Aris. She flicked a look through lowered lashes, but he barely glanced her way as he started walking. She hurried to keep pace, her jaw clenching in annoyance. Was he going to pretend she didn’t exist? If he’d bonded or otherwise decided to end their marriage, he could at least have the grace to tell her. There was no need to treat her like the ghost he’d been.
“You cannot avoid me forever,” she murmured.
A hitch marred his stride. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“By the Great God Meyanen—” Selia began, cutting off her words before she could threaten bodily harm. That would be the worst thing she could say. “I understand that you are not ready to speak of what happened, but after three centuries of being together, I would have expected the common courtesy of looking at me and acknowledging my presence.”
Selia had his attention then, but the dark annoyance lining his face was far from what she’d wanted. “If you understood, you would not say such things,” Aris said.
“Maybe.” Selia drew her shoulders back, bracing herself. “But I want you to know that if you have decided to end our relationship, you may simply say so.”
Mouth pinched tight, Aris ran his fingers through his hair. “I have not. When I am able to tell you what happened, however, you will cast me aside. I am not whole, Selia. I have no idea how effective mind-healers are, but I doubt they can fix this.”
“Aris, you know I—”
“Would not hold my capture against me.” His hand lifted as though he would touch her, but once again, he lowered it without making contact. “I want to be here for Iren until he reaches manhood, but I don’t know if I can. Each moment is agony. The endless stretch of years before me breaks me inside. I refuse, refuse, to drag you into this madness.”
Selia wanted to scream, but she had no idea at whom. Him, in part, but shame filled her at the impulse. It wasn’t his fault he’d been traumatized, and it would be wrong of her to push him. If she ever encountered this Perim, Selia would blast the drec with a spell so violent that ballads would chronicle the event for millennia. Then the dragon could chew up the remains.
As the front doors came into view, Selia leaned close to Aris but was careful not to touch him. “Speak to me as a friend, if you must, and we will resolve the rest when you are able. You know you will always have my love and support. Just treat me as though I exist.”
“I did not intend to upset you,” Aris said. “But it hurts. It hurts to see you and to know all that was lost. If I seem to ignore you, it is only to avoid a breakdown.”
Tears burned in her eyes, for him and for herself. She’d believed his disappearance and death had been the worst thing that could ever happen to her and Iren, but she’d been wrong. Oh, that had been horrible. But nothing compared to the joy of finding him alive intertwined so painfully with the knowledge of his broken state. He was as dead to her as he’d been that morning even though he walked beside her.
Far too cl
ose to be so out of reach.
Chapter 6
Aris had expected to feel trapped by the estate, but entering the large double doors filled him with a curious sense of comfort. Perhaps it was the fact that the massive house had been constructed quite literally around the largest of the trees. Just ahead, a staircase spiraled up a broad tree trunk in the middle of the room. Then he glanced to the left, and his breath caught. On the far end of the entryway, the wall had been cut away to reveal the most massive trunk he had ever seen, its energy unmistakable.
Eradisel, one of the nine sacred trees.
The reason behind the steady flow of comfort solidified in his mind. Because of his gift, he’d always resonated with the Great Trees. In fact, he’d considered becoming one of the priests that tended the sacred nine, but he hadn’t felt a true calling for that path. The gods were a distant concept, worthy of reverence but not as immediate as the life his magic detected. Why be bound to one place, meditating on divine favor, when he could be discovering the gods’ creations? Or so he’d once thought. Roaming the world had lost its appeal after his latest adventure.
Aris sensed the soft brush of Eradisel’s energy against his mind. Lyr had said that the sacred tree had warned them of Aris’s arrival. But why? His feet wanted to carry him to Her to ask, but the task at hand kept him from following his desire. The Myern certainly would have allowed time, Aris knew, but Kezari was low on patience. If the sacred tree affected her, she didn’t give any sign of it. She slunk after Lyr with hunched shoulders, her uneasy gaze darting everywhere.
Why was she so bothered by Braelyn? Kezari hadn’t been this uneasy in the tavern or the clothing shop. Concerned, he connected to her mind. “What is it? Do you sense danger?”
“This place curves in little tunnels. You will see.”
He found his brow lifting. Tunnels? Then Lyr pivoted down a corridor that did curve here and there to accommodate trees, though the hallway was hardly a tunnel. “Don’t dragons live in caves?” he asked, trying to hide his amusement. “With narrow passages, too, I’d wager.”
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