His head tilted. “Why? You have a right to your feelings.”
How could he remain so impassive? Why couldn’t he see? “You. Were. Tortured,” Selia said. “I could have no challenge equal to that.”
Aris smiled, and she suddenly wanted to hit him. A poor impulse, considering. He unfolded his arms and pushed away from the wall, moving closer. “We can each only live our own lives in our own bodies, Selia. My past pain won’t ease your current doubts.”
“I don’t understand how you can be so calm,” she grumbled.
“You think I’m calm?” Aris grasped one of her hands in his. “I’m not. I’ve grown…adept at hiding my feelings.”
Grief filled her at what those words implied. He had learned to do so for self-preservation. “What are you feeling, then?”
Aris lifted her palm to his chest, and the rapid thumping of his heart met the frantic pace of her own pulse. His head tipped down until their breaths mingled. “Many things. Desire. Pain. Fear. Love.”
“An unusual mixture,” Selia whispered. “And a sad one. Are you afraid of me now?”
His lips thinned. “Not exactly.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked, her fingers twitching beneath his.
“I want to be with you, but there is much…” His eyes squeezed closed. “There is a lot you don’t know.”
Her heart ached for him so sharply her breath caught. But perhaps she could spare him. “I saw what she did to you when I accidentally connected. If you think I would hold that against you, then you are the foolish one. You did not break our bonds of fidelity by being forced.”
“Selia…”
She tugged her hand free, only to place both palms on his cheeks. Aris glanced down at her, then, and the fathomless pain held within his eyes pierced her deeply. “You do think I hold it against—”
“She is my soulbonded,” he said, his voice stark with emotion. “My potential one, at least.”
Selia’s arms dropped to her sides, and she took a step back. “What?”
“I was lost at sea, barely alive when she found me.” He shoved his hands through his hair, and the long strands snarled with the motion. “She took me to a cave and kept me there. When I refused to bond with her, she chained me. And…you’ve seen too much of the rest.”
By all the gods. He’d been tortured by his soulbonded? She’d never considered that horror. “That’s abhorrent.”
Aris flinched and crossed his arms again. “Yes.”
Oh, no. He thinks I meant—
“Not on your part,” she hurried to assure him. “You can’t think I would reject you because of her.”
His expression hardened. Perhaps he could.
“Selia,” he began, his fingers whitening where he gripped his arm. “So many believe a soubonded is the perfect mate, but the other half of my soul is evil and twisted. Tynan claims my own soul is unmarred by such darkness. It doesn’t seem possible. I should believe him, I know, but I can’t. I don’t see how you could, either.”
She closed the distance between them and barely resisted pulling him into her arms. “I don’t need to hear anything from Tynan. We’ve been together for more than five hundred years, Aris. You are not evil. Soulbonds might link, but they don’t define. They are not always the perfect love, and we are not more or less because of them. That’s why our priests can and will sever those bonds.”
His lips twisted. “When you haven’t faced something like this, it’s easy to say such things.”
“Aris.” She shouldn’t tell him. She had to tell him. “I met my potential soulbonded a hundred years ago.”
For a moment, he simply stood there, a confused frown creasing his brow. Then he moved, so quickly his hands were gripping her shoulders before she’d registered the motion. “You what?”
He wasn’t hurting her, but the tension in his fingers twisted something in her heart. “I know I should have told you. I wasn’t trying to lie, honestly. But I didn’t want you to be noble and demand our marriage be severed.”
“Why?” he demanded.
Selia didn’t need to ask what he meant.
“I didn’t like him.” She grimaced at the memory of their first meeting. “Gods, that sounds so trivial. But he was arrogant, dismissive. Nothing like your potential bonded, obviously, but I had no desire to be linked to him. He even tried to ignore my denial of the bond, insisting I accept his necklace until I threatened to find a priest of Arneen. It was…not a pleasant encounter. I knew then that soulbonds weren’t always ideal, and I spent a great deal of time attempting to figure out why my soul could join with his. It haunted me for years.”
Aris released her arms and spun away. She watched him wordlessly as he paced the tower, knowing from experience that he would need a moment to work through his emotions. Miaran, she should have told him at the time. She’d never kept anything else from him in all their years together.
“You might not forgive me,” she said as he drew to a halt an arm’s length away. “But I am sorry. I…I loved you more than any soulbond. I still do. Even when I believed you dead, I had no desire for another. I don’t care what the gods may have planned for my soul.”
Aris scrubbed his hands across his face and then let them drop. “Aren’t we a fine pair.”
“I truly didn’t know how to tell you.” Selia’s shoulders slumped. “Not without losing you.”
He wrapped his fingers around her wrists and tugged. As she settled against him, he lowered his forehead to hers. “Perhaps there was a divine mistake. A confusion of souls. I wouldn’t have bonded with Perim even if she’d been perfection itself. No type of link could compare with my love for you.”
Selia swallowed. “I thought you’d be angrier.”
“I’m upset that you didn’t tell me.” He brushed her lips with his, drawing out a gasp. “But I’m not in a position to judge. At least yours didn’t keep you chained in a cave for almost seven years.”
A choked laugh slipped free. “There is that.”
“I love you, Selia,” he whispered. “If you still…”
“Didn’t I already say I love you? Because I do. Always.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and let herself relax against him. “Kiss me.”
His fingers speared through her hair as his lips descended on hers. No gentle brush this time. Selia whimpered, her hands sliding up his back to grip his shoulders as he consumed her. Their tongues tangled, dueled. Against her belly, he hardened, and a shudder rippled through his muscles. But he didn’t stop.
She startled when his hands slid down her neck and headed toward her waist, his thumbs brushing the sides of her breasts along the way. Heat flared within her, an inferno she’d thought she would never feel again. A moan slipped free at the perfection of his mouth and hands. His body against hers. She wrapped one of her legs around his to bring herself closer.
He froze, panting as his lips jerked away.
“I’m sorry,” she managed around her own frenzied breaths.
“I want you,” Aris said, his voice rough and low. “But you’ll have to let me lead. I can’t…I can’t bear weight on me. Or too much aggressiveness.”
An image of his torture tried to flicker through, but she shoved it aside. They had a lifetime of memories to choose from—and she knew just the one. “Remember the morning we conceived Iren?”
His gaze grew heated, and his fingers gripped her bottom. “Very well. I was a bit rough, though. I don’t want to hurt you. I know what that’s like. I—”
Selia pressed her fingers to his lips. “Being abused doesn’t make you an abuser. You didn’t hurt me then, and you won’t hurt me now. But this time, we’ll leave off any bindings.”
Aris lowered a kiss to the vee of her neck, and she felt his lips curve against her skin before he nodded. Then his tongue traced a line along her pulse as he boosted her against him, his hard length trapped between them, just where she wanted it. When he spun around and strode toward the bed, she cried out from
the pleasure of the contact.
“Have any empty energy crystals?” he whispered against her flesh. “Gods, I hope you do. I’m not certain of my restraint.”
She let out a breathy laugh. “Didn’t think I’d be grateful for the low energy of Earth. I had to use a few crystals there, so yes. In my pocket.”
His low groan was answer enough.
The sound sent a shudder down her spine, for when he truly let himself go, they created magic. Literally. Ah, how she loved making him lose control of his power! It was dangerous, especially if she had nothing to channel the overflow into, but so, so worth it.
Aris lowered her to the bed. His arm muscles flexed as he held himself above her and stared into her eyes. “With this much life magic…”
“It’s probably the wrong time in my cycle.” Selia tugged at a strand of his hair, bringing his face closer to hers. “But I’d welcome another child with you. Provided you stop worrying and make love to me.”
He kissed her softly. Once. Twice. Then he plundered, his mouth taking hers as his hand cupped her breast. He pinched at her nipple, arrowing heat straight into her core, and she couldn’t stop herself from gripping both hands in his hair. When he trembled against her, she loosened her hold until he relaxed.
Aris broke their kiss long enough to tug her strange Earth shirt over her head and toss it away. Selia worked at the clasp of her pants, barely remembering to grab the energy crystals from her pocket before helping him remove the rough fabric from her legs. He lifted away again to free himself from his own clothes until nothing remained between them but air.
Her lungs seized at the sight of his chest, pale scars marring the skin in a few new places. No need to ask where those were from. But then her gaze landed on the image of a curled dragon painted across his left pectoral muscle. Frowning, she traced her finger along the curve of a wing. A tattoo, she realized. Not paint.
“What’s this?” she whispered.
He flicked a glance down at his chest and then smiled. “You’d have to ask Kezari. It appeared when she rescued me.”
“For which I’ll be forever grateful.” Selia slid her hand down his side, and a tendril of energy escaped his control, sending a zing through her blood. “Ready?”
“For you?” The green threading his hazel eyes brightened. “Always.”
Without warning, Aris flipped her over, and that earlier zing turned to lightning. Selia lifted to her hands and knees, offering herself to him. Open and vulnerable. His hands traced the line of her back before slipping around to her breasts, and the feel of him almost made her cry out. It had been far, far too long.
He touched her entrance, then, and his groan echoed around them as his control snapped. Between one breath and the next, Aris entered her. Her breath left her in a rush, and her back arched. Not from pain, but he went motionless inside her.
“Selia,” he whispered. “Did I hurt you?”
“Gods, no.” She couldn’t stop herself from shifting against him, and they both moaned. “If you need to stop… I hope you don’t…”
“I need you,” Aris said.
And then he took.
He rushed into her—his body, his magic, his mind. Her home. Her fingernails dug into the bedding as she moved with him, and her heart soared even as she shattered with pleasure that seemed to last forever. Behind her, he stiffened and cried out, and combined with the feel of his fingers caressing her skin, his release triggered another of her own.
The crystals heated between her hand and the mattress as she poured the excess through by instinct. She barely noticed. Aris leaned over her, kissing a line down her spine, and she shuddered. She could have stayed like that forever. But all too soon, he withdrew.
Was he okay? Worry awoke as the pleasure faded. Then he dropped onto the bed and pulled her against his chest, nestling her close. Selia glanced over her shoulder, and some of her tension eased at the relaxed expression on his face. Sensing her regard, he cracked one eye open.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
Should she ask him? She didn’t want to ruin his mood, but… “I was worried about you.”
His arms tightened around her waist. “Thank you. There were times…” A sigh ruffled her hair. “I had a few rough moments, but you seemed to know what to do to ease them.”
“Good,” she whispered. She let her head drop and settled against him. “I suppose we’d better rest. I have a feeling your dragon is counting every drip of the clock.”
Aris’s low laugh echoed around her, following her into sleep.
As Selia’s breathing slowed, Aris tucked his face against her shoulder and let himself bask in her presence. Unlike his beloved, he was too energized to sleep; he’d had a fair amount of that already with all the healing sessions. Perhaps, in a way, this could be counted as one of them. There’d been a few times when he’d almost had to stop, but he’d managed to steer himself away from panic. A promising sign.
Still, how long would it be before she could ride him once more? Even as his body stirred at the thought, his stomach lurched. Clechtan. They’d always been adventurous and uninhibited with one another, but he couldn’t offer her that freedom anymore. He might never be able to, but she appeared to love him anyway.
She’d chosen him over her soulbonded, by the gods.
His arms tightened, and he had to force himself to relax when she shifted restlessly. He’d been angry, and he still hated that she hadn’t told him. But once his emotions had settled, the one that had filled him most clearly was awe. Smart, talented, beautiful Selia hadn’t wanted to risk losing him, a reckless adventurer who hadn’t had a home for centuries before her. His own parents hadn’t contacted him in decades, but Selia loved him without condition.
For the first time in seven years, hope sparked and simmered. More delicate than new love, the feeling settled in his chest, warming him. It might take years, but he could heal. He would never be the same, and for once, he didn’t want to be. His spirit felt more settled now. But then, being tortured on the other side of the world tended to kill a bit of that zest for adventure.
It was time he found something better to do with his talents.
Aris’s hand shifted to Selia’s stomach. He could sense without effort that she’d been correct—she wasn’t at the right point of her cycle for them to have another child. Maybe sometime in the near future, when he was better healed, they could try. He’d felt the moment Iren’s new life had begun, and he would love to experience that once more.
Family. He never wanted to lose them again.
Chapter 23
The rock smoothed beneath Kezari’s claw as she finished the last wall of the small hollow she’d created for herself within the cave system. She’d shifted to three different sizes to fit through the twisting tunnels, but she refused to make the entrance easy to find. Moranaian she might now be, but dragon she had always been. Some elves would not trust her as readily as the ones she’d met.
She settled on her haunches and let her claws dig in to the cool sand beneath her. She had some time, since the others required rest. Hah. A puff of smoke left her nostrils, but it was more amusement than anger. Some rested more than others, and her skizik was not one of those few. Not that she begrudged him his pleasure—he more than deserved it.
Kezari closed her eyes and gathered energy through her talons. The cool flow of the stone’s power surged in, chilling the natural heat of her body until it neared the cave’s steady temperature. Her heart slowed, and she let her senses drop away one by one. No more taste of minerals on her tongue or soft sand beneath her stomach. Only self and thought.
In that moment, she reached. Space ceased to exist. Distance was nothing. Through the thread of earth that bound them all, her consciousness flowed. Until she reached Tebzn and connected with a jolt. And in that moment before her cousin censored herself, Kezari tasted the betrayal. She might have hissed, but she paid no heed to her body. None at all.
“Why have I been named a renega
de?” Kezari demanded, not bothering with a greeting.
A brief hesitation. “You left with little warning. There is no proof of your claim that your skizik was held against his will or even that you have one. The fae had no clue who this Perim could be.”
“You were there. You saw my skizik. How can you deny knowledge of Perim when she spoke to you at our last meeting?” Kezari wanted to rend her cousin to pieces. If only she could. “You gave your word that she would be hunted. Could you not find your own hoard? I did not believe you so inadequate that you would need to steal mine.”
“Reptile,” Tebzn muttered. “Your blood is cold to say such a thing. I am glad that the queen declared you a renegade. All this talk of Earth. Why should we care about a planet long discarded?”
There would be no reasoning with her cousin. That, she could tell. “You will know soon enough. Guard the young. Shield them if the wall breaks.”
“Go away, Kezari.” Tebzn’s tone turned mocking. “You’ll not see Earth no matter how you try to scare us. And do not contact me again.”
Her cousin severed the connection and slammed up a strong mental barrier. Kezari had no desire to try to break it, though she could. Tebzn had always been sloppy, more prepared to hunt daeri than practice her magic. All too many of the dragons followed the same pattern. Hunt. Bury oneself in a cave and hibernate. Mate. Hunt. Their once proud kind served little purpose now.
Kezari returned to her body with a jolt. The air steamed around her, flames licking from her mouth in time with her breath. She centered herself. Anger had no place now, and she had almost lost control more than once in front of the Moranaians already. Soon enough, she and her skizik would solve their problem.
Then it seemed she would have the pleasure of hunting Perim herself.
“You still look like hell.”
Fen flicked a dirty look at his uncle but didn’t bother to flip him off. The bastard probably wouldn’t understand the gesture, and in any case, he was probably right. Fen felt like hell, so chances were good that he looked the same. He should never have taken Vek’s blood. It had seemed reasonable to save time by doing so, but the rush of energy from a single sip had made Fen’s chest burn as magic flooded the shard of poison near his heart. Even his breathing was shallow from the effort of hiking to the cave.
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