by Lana Melyan
“I remember. But I've never told this to anybody, and now, when I voiced it, I see . . . You can’t forgive me for driving a dagger through my own mother’s heart. You shouldn’t.”
“It’s true. What you did was awful,” I said quietly. Josephine knew she was dying, and she was looking for forgiveness from her son; instead all she got was his hatred. “It hurts to think about it. But I know people can change. And you did. I know you’re a different, better man now.”
“A better man would’ve stayed away from you.”
“You can’t. And not just because I love you. Because I can’t do any of this without you.”
“This mission took from me so much already, and now it’s doing the same to you. Just like me, you’re ready to sacrifice your youth, your future, your whole life, to carry on a legacy that fell upon your shoulders out of nowhere, turning your whole life upside down. And I should be the one to protect you from making the wrong choices. But your guardian angel has black wings, and their darkness reflects on you.”
“Stop it,” I snapped. “I can make my own choices.” I drew closer to him, and pierced him with gaze. “We have to do what we have to do. I can’t run from this, and we’ll finish the mission no matter the cost. Maybe not right now, but if it were necessary one day, I might step over the lines I drew around myself, and which lately I struggle to stay behind. Would you hate me for that?”
He grabbed me by my arms.
“I already told you once that nothing you do will throw so much as a shade of a single straw on my feelings for you. But one day, when this is all over, you will hate me. You will look back and blame me for not stopping you. That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“You can’t protect me from myself. Right now, you’re the one who needs my protection from your stupid thoughts, from taking responsibility for my decisions.”
“This conversation is over.” He let go of me and turned away.
“Nate, don’t.” I took his arm, but he shook me off. “Look at me,” I insisted.
“Nicky, please, it’s late, go to bed.” He walked to the fireplace.
“We’ll go together.” I followed him and hugged him from behind, pressing my lips to his back. “I love you,” I whispered. “I will always love you no matter what.”
“Nicky, please.” He didn’t sound angry anymore. His breathing became deeper, and he drew up his face. “I need a moment.”
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll be waiting for you.” I kissed him in the back of his shoulder and went upstairs.
I left the lamp on his side of the bed lit, and without taking my clothes off, lay down, waiting, listening for his footsteps.
Nearly half an hour later, I heard the sound of an engine starting. I went to the window and saw him drive away.
Nate didn’t come back all night.
I fell asleep only after the sun came up, and when I opened my eyes a few hours later and found his side of the bed empty, the tears burst out, soaking into the pillow.
Why am I crying? He needed a moment. I’m just too sensitive in the morning. I’ll be fine.
Suddenly I realized I was alone at the mansion. How the hell am I going to get home? I don’t have a car.
I didn’t want to call Gran. She would ask what happened, and I wouldn’t know what to say.
Where did he go? The anxiety whirled through me. It’s okay. I had my few days off, now it’s his turn.
I grabbed my phone from the nightstand. There were no messages. Maybe he didn’t leave a message because he will come back to drive me home.
I got up, wiped my face with both hands, and went to the bathroom to grab a towel. Dabbing my eyes with it, I went to the window and looked out. My car was parked in front of the house. I pressed the towel to my face and sobbed.
Also by Lana Melyan
THE WEIGHT OF MAGIC
The Last Bell– episode 6
The Sacrifice– episode 7
The Eternity Road Trilogy
The Eternity Road–– book 1
The Return–– book 2
The Keeper Of The Book–– book 3
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